robblok Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 (edited) I am not talking here about real dangers but more that its easier to loose her or get her under bad influences. Once my former wife got in Holland she was still good and nice but she met up with some other Thais 6 of them and they would come together quite often. After a while she started talking about money and wanted more because her friends got more (so they all say). She started drinking heavily and went working in a not so nice massage (i did not know it was not so nice at the start) To make a long story short she sold herself and had loads of other guys. I still think its is because of the influence of the others. One other girl in that group now also works as a prostitute in Amsterdam and has left her guy. I knew the guy and he was a nice guy never treated her bad. The last of the girls was a real looker and her bf a bit of a fat guy who was boring (to be honest). As soon as she got her visa she switched guys and took one who looked good like her and was her age instead of double her age. She had just used her first guy to get the visa's done and let him pay for all stuff before leaving him. This out of a total of 6 girls.. coincidence or not i think its rather shocking. My first wife was certainly no bar girl so that wasn't the problem. I think part of the problem was that they can only get low schooled jobs and or dont work and are bored at home all day. Since i live in Thailand now i have found many smart and nice girls who are great here but would be utterly miserable in an other country. Here their education counts and they have freedom and friends.. if you take them to your country they might get into isolation or hang out with the wrong crowd. Just think before you leap. I do think you got a bigger chance to succeed when you have lived with your GF/Wife for a long time in Thailand to see how strong the relation is. I would never take my wife to live in Holland. She loves her work her friends and i am sure she would be a lot less happy doing low schooled work in a cold country with a lot less friends. Thais are really social people and from experience have a hard time coping in a strange country. There are of course exceptions, but think of it if she has a good job here (yes some really do) and you take her to your country and she has to do factory labor or something like that would she be happy. Also think of this.. here there are not many foreigners and she is happy to have one.. there abroad she is the one getting all the attention. Is easy for her to switch. Just some fair warnings. *just adding i only have had 2 wives in my life and hope to keep it at that this might have given people the idea i got a string of failed relations and am bitter, i'm actually quite happy here* Edited June 28, 2010 by robblok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phomsanuk Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 I'm sure there are exceptions but I'm also sure this is the rule.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thakkar Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 A bitch is a bitch in any environment. It's just a question of when and how (or if) she gets found out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted June 28, 2010 Author Share Posted June 28, 2010 A bitch is a bitch in any environment. It's just a question of when and how (or if) she gets found out. Part of me agrees.. but look at all the farang alcoholics in Thailand. Much higher as in the west.. environment does change things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 I'm sure there are exceptions but I'm also sure this is the rule.. My suggestion: Have children. My wife was miserable when we moved to a foreign country; she was unable to work in her career, she had no friends other than my colleagues etc. The children provided a focus that allowed her to fully integrate into society and became the hub around which her social life developed. Its a longer-term commitment than drinking or gambling, but more satisfying, and probably strengthens rather than weakens the marriage. I imagine it works for Thais as well SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 I'd be far more worried about her getting "westernised" and making me do the dishes, clean the house and get my own beer out of the fridge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 A bitch is a bitch in any environment. It's just a question of when and how (or if) she gets found out. Part of me agrees.. but look at all the farang alcoholics in Thailand. Much higher as in the west.. environment does change things. We didn't become alcoholic here, we drifted here because we're alcoholics. Perhaps we were better able to indulge our alcoholism here... Not sure how that affects Thakkar's argument... You probably don't see much of the respectable Western people that I sometimes mix with, but they do exist; they just have better things to do (and the concentration to do them) than post on this forum SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted June 28, 2010 Author Share Posted June 28, 2010 A bitch is a bitch in any environment. It's just a question of when and how (or if) she gets found out. Part of me agrees.. but look at all the farang alcoholics in Thailand. Much higher as in the west.. environment does change things. We didn't become alcoholic here, we drifted here because we're alcoholics. Perhaps we were better able to indulge our alcoholism here... Not sure how that affects Thakkar's argument... You probably don't see much of the respectable Western people that I sometimes mix with, but they do exist; they just have better things to do (and the concentration to do them) than post on this forum SC Im sure, but to be honest i don't see many Western people at all. (i choose it that way). I do my thing, work fishing, training and so on. But i have seen my share of people in bars day after day. Even people who stay here for a long time. They get bored and start to drink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gotlost Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 So she wasn't a bar girl.. Where do you guys get off? Your so called good girl is worst than a BG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExpatJ Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 From what i have seen and heard, any man who marries a Thai lady 10 + years younger than himself must expect that she will be sleeping around behind his back... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLaughingMan Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Suggesting that if you bring your thai wife to your home country that she may become a prostitute is ridiculous. She was ALWAYS a prostitute she just did a good job of hiding it from you or you did a bad job of figuring it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkjames Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 From what i have seen and heard, any man who marries a Thai lady 10 + years younger than himself must expect that she will be sleeping around behind his back... Lord I wish, I need the rest mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaoyang Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Don't have to be a prostitute to make an upgrade. Once the original hubby did all the hard and expensive work of getting her to another country, other Westerners with more money or charm might offer a "better deal".<div><br></div><div>That happened to a good friend of mine once he got his wife into Canada. But I have to say he was a bit of an old, neurotic chap himself.</div> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
basjke Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Another reason not to bring her to your homecountry is the risk that she might find out that not all westerners have disabilities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dakhar Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Another reason not to bring her to your homecountry is the risk that she might find out that not all westerners have disabilities. got a chuckle on that one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted June 28, 2010 Author Share Posted June 28, 2010 From what i have seen and heard, any man who marries a Thai lady 10 + years younger than himself must expect that she will be sleeping around behind his back... Lord I wish, I need the rest mate. Just send some pics of her and i consider taking her into my harem. Only to help you mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thongkorn Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 MY wife is happy, She has Me, No seriously My Thai wife is happy, she lives with me In the UK , she goes to college and has a few Thai friends , she is not stupid she picks her friends as any other person would do, We can get Thai food, Vegetables the works so food is not a problem ,She goes on the computer and gets live Thai radio and she can see Thai TV,My wife has never worked the bar and would be shocked if some one propositioned her,she would be angry just the same as a western lady would be. She does get unwanted attention but she deals with it and we have al laugh about it because some men are just arrogant and think they are gods gift to women, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mahtin Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 When they are good they are very very good, and when they are bad they are very very good at being bad. Next beer please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Another reason not to bring her to your homecountry is the risk that she might find out that not all westerners have disabilities. Oh so true. Like women everywhere, there are the good and the bad, and all those in between... same as men. Do I enjoy making love to young, beautiful women? Sure. Am I so stupid as to believe that they love me? No. That is precisely why I won't have a steady relationship with a woman... anywhere. I don't need to pay off another wife who suddenly decides she wants to "find herself". What an older man can have in Thailand he certainly can't have in western countries. And, I don't mean prostitution. That is an entirely different subject. There have been some good answers to what could be a dangerous topic. Dangerous in the fact that it could go off the rails and get closed. I agree with the OP that it is a big risk bringing a Thai wife to another country. And especially so if there is a big discrepency in their ages. Thais don't assimilate as well as some other Asians... such as Filipinas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Another reason not to bring her to your homecountry is the risk that she might find out that not all westerners have disabilities. Oh so true. Like women everywhere, there are the good and the bad, and all those in between... same as men. Do I enjoy making love to young, beautiful women? Sure. Am I so stupid as to believe that they love me? No. That is precisely why I won't have a steady relationship with a woman... anywhere. I don't need to pay off another wife who suddenly decides she wants to "find herself". What an older man can have in Thailand he certainly can't have in western countries. And, I don't mean prostitution. That is an entirely different subject. There have been some good answers to what could be a dangerous topic. Dangerous in the fact that it could go off the rails and get closed. I agree with the OP that it is a big risk bringing a Thai wife to another country. And especially so if there is a big discrepency in their ages. Thais don't assimilate as well as some other Asians... such as Filipinas. An interesting point you bring up about the Filipinas. In the US, there are large communities of Filipino's in some big cities. They tend to congregate together, patronize one another's businesses, socialize, and generally look after each other quite well. The big difference is that these communities are largely Filipino/Filipino couples (as opposed to farang/Filipino). Just wondered if the OP's wife had socialized with Thai/Thai couples living overseas, if that would have made a difference. Just curious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilgore Trout Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 My wife received a job teaching pre-school within 1 week of being in my home country and has worked her butt off since then. She mingles with some Thais but we are together 99.9 percent of our free time. She got the job of her own volition, she is a contributer; I have always known what kind of person she is because there is real genuine communication in our relationship, we are around the same age and possess similar levels of education. Can you say the same about your wife? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted June 28, 2010 Author Share Posted June 28, 2010 My wife received a job teaching pre-school within 1 week of being in my home country and has worked her butt off since then. She mingles with some Thais but we are together 99.9 percent of our free time. She got the job of her own volition, she is a contributer; I have always known what kind of person she is because there is real genuine communication in our relationship, we are around the same age and possess similar levels of education. Can you say the same about your wife? My current wife has done university but that doesn't say much in this country. I am by far more educated, but then again i have quite a nice education. We are similar age bracket I'm 8 years older. She shares in the costs and works. So i don't complain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardholder Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 From what i have seen and heard, any man who marries a Thai lady 10 + years younger than himself must expect that she will be sleeping around behind his back... But does she know that she needss to watch HER back - from what I have seen the Falang is doing more sleeping around.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibeachlovers Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 I'd be far more worried about her getting "westernised" and making me do the dishes, clean the house and get my own beer out of the fridge. So true! Gotta love Thai culture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronz28 Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 I think working is good but she just took the wrong job. Working for a big Pharma in a production or packaging clean room would probably have influenced her in a positive way. Doesn't require a college degree... just hard work but not too hard for some women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skint Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Interesting Robblok you are spot on, there are not many Thai Girls here who do not cheat certainly in the bars they drink in hubby is nowhere to be seen and some i have seen in the windows due to Imigration being difficult it doesn't take a genius to work out the real motive for coming here. Thing is in Amsterdam there is a very close Thai community drinking cards and whoring seem second nature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadiadi Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Only 2 I have had 3 Thai wives. Only danger I see is that they might like it there and not want to come back, ut is that a bad thing? Took me years to get rid of my first two leeches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archimedes Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 (edited) I would not say danger, but what kind of new friends she get in your country, be it Thai or locals, will affect her views and in turn your relationship. This goes both ways, so in some instances it can be positive and in some cases negative. The chance for an negative effect is much higher than a positive one though. Edited June 29, 2010 by Archimedes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dakhar Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Another reason not to bring her to your homecountry is the risk that she might find out that not all westerners have disabilities. Oh so true. Like women everywhere, there are the good and the bad, and all those in between... same as men. Do I enjoy making love to young, beautiful women? Sure. Am I so stupid as to believe that they love me? No. That is precisely why I won't have a steady relationship with a woman... anywhere. I don't need to pay off another wife who suddenly decides she wants to "find herself". What an older man can have in Thailand he certainly can't have in western countries. And, I don't mean prostitution. That is an entirely different subject. There have been some good answers to what could be a dangerous topic. Dangerous in the fact that it could go off the rails and get closed. I agree with the OP that it is a big risk bringing a Thai wife to another country. And especially so if there is a big discrepency in their ages. Thais don't assimilate as well as some other Asians... such as Filipinas. My Thai wife decided she had to go off and "find herself." Why is it that "finding oneself" means finding oneself in some one elses bed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NADTATIDA1 Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 My partner is an Electrical engineer i would love her to go to the west to earn the money her education and time should merit,and also she could keep me in the luxury i have become accustomed to while working less hours. Also the reality of taking a lady/wife to your country means they actually can see for themselves that the roads are not painted with gold,while this is innitially shocking for them to see that many farangs are on the social they soon realise that they are not the only country in the world that is in the shit,when the penny drops they either get on the first plane home,have kids to give them a purpose to being here,get a job to relieve the boredom or end up earning far to much money down the local massage parlour. The above is not a flame at anyone or any individual but is true from my experience of Thai's in the UK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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