What To Do If You Are Threatened By A Thai

[girlx]

i love it when some invisible person on a message board who has never met me or any of my friends for a conversation tells me i am generalizing while they make blatant assumptions about us, or my situation, based only on the little part of it that i have shared.

i didn't necessarily put this on here to get advice for myself. like i said it will probably blow over. it's an interesting topic though, that i feel everyone in thailand, no matter what social circle, may have to deal with at some point, and i would like to hear how they would do so.

i know there is the occasional extreme case and i thought someone with experience (not just sanctimonious drivel) in these matters might have something to say that would be useful. thanks to those who have shared.

[Darkling]

I get sick of hearing about "mafia" in Thailand. Mafia? yeah right a couple of unorganised thugs is all they are.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I tend to agree, the myth is greater than reality in my experience.

If your friend is in the right and has nothing to hide and he has been scammed then tell the cops, you don’t have to know a cop but of course it helps if you do. Also by informing the Police, the situation is booked and noted, therefore a degree of protection is forthcoming. If the Police can recover the money is another story.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Totally agree. I am a committed pacifist, which means I won't start a fight - but I'm quite happy to finish one. My (uneducated) view is fairly simple - I don't worry about veiled threats, which are generally sabre-rattling, mind games or just hot air. I don't respond, which means that things don't escalate and the cretin can walk away without losing face. I really don't care, and I don't make threats myself.

If they come after me direct, they are easy to deal with. I won't be bullied and won't back down, but maintain eye contact and let them ramble on. Usually, the problem can be talked through, and even if it can't, they almost always walk away once they have had their say. I'd really rather not make things physical, and I make that quite clear - along with the fact that my reluctance will not stop me from joining in if they bring it on. They are just thugs.

Bear in mind that intelligent, professional criminals are unlikely to get involved with you, as it detracts from their aim of earning a dishonest living and is bad publicity. Also, if you carry on honestly, you probably won't have crossed swords with them in business. The Tourist Police is the answer if you are uncertain.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, and is not a solution, but the problem. But even pacifists defend themselves and their own.

It's very, very rare that I have encountered any real problems, in any country.

"Jaw-jaw is better than war-war" (Winston Churchill)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That cop went after that couple in Kanchanaburi, he was`nt so easy to deal with.

[ChiangMaiMike]

No real mafia in Thailand?

hah.

They just happen to be so big and powerful that reporters know what would happen if they mentioned their names.... and they somehow get overlooked in the crackdowns on the Big Money in the drug trade.

And although it's nice to read more about corruption these days in the newspapers how many people are actually going to jail?

Many Thais get killed by other Thais for business reasons... sometimes it's just the easiest way to eliminate the competition.

And Thais jealosy and resentment of others success is hardly unique to Asia... and is probably exacerbated if its due to them kissing up to... I mean, befriending, a farang.

[Nam Kao]

Thinking about this more, there was one time violence did take care of a problem.

Upcountry there was was this older guy (neighbor) who would see my wife

and run up to her yelling in thai something. My wife would speak nicely back

and this guy would go on ranting and raving. I asked her what he wanted

and she said "He wants me buy him whiskey". So i just shrugged it off.

Next time we see this guy same thing. I think the 4th time this happens

he puts his hand on my wifes shoulder in a threatening manor, well ,, I

just remember seeing red. I push my wife aside and pushed him and said

"Cmon @#$%@%% lets do it". I begged him to throw a punch at me, (I

was a boxer for 15 years at the time) taunting him "Cmon you kwai

@$@#%%!" Well the guy looked quite shocked, turned around and just

walked away. I was PUMPED. I start following him and my wife grabs me

and drags me home. As you can imagine this was the talk of the village

for the next few days. My wifes family expected some sort of revenge and they

wouldnt let me go anywhere alone. 3 days later he comes over in the early

morning all dressed up and apologizes to my wife (i was still asleep).

We seen him again and he walked a big circle around us. My wife said

later i gained face with the locals because he accosted alot of people harrasing

them for booze/cigarettes.

But knowing what i know now, that was a dangerous thing to do. It

could of got ugly. But in this instance he was totally in the wrong so he

probably would have lost face with the village. Plus the locals liked me.

One more thing. He was considering having me offed

Edited June 29, 2005 by Nam Kao

[Heng]

No real mafia in Thailand?

hah.

They just happen to be so big and powerful that reporters know what would happen if they mentioned their names.... and they somehow get overlooked in the crackdowns on the Big Money in the drug trade.

And although it's nice to read more about corruption these days in the newspapers how many people are actually going to jail?

Many Thais get killed by other Thais for business reasons... sometimes it's just the easiest way to eliminate the competition. 

And Thais jealosy and resentment of others success is hardly unique to Asia... and is probably exacerbated if its due to them kissing up to... I mean, befriending, a farang.

Would tend to agree. Just because you haven't crossed paths with these folks doesn't mean they don't exist (you could probably do 1,000 drive by's on Italian American homes without hitting anyone in the mafia... doesn't mean they don't exist either).

Mobsters in the LOS fall under the crosshairs of the law much much less often than individuals related to organized crime in the west. That leads to issues of not too many people really knowing who actually is involved in organized crime or not (other than the really big names). That guy who owns the taxi cab queue, pawn shop, pig farm, etc. might actually just be a regular guy running his business, not some kind of crime boss.

Also, given the fact that most falangs aren't even allowed into most professions here, it's unlikely that you'll have a professional/business conflict of interest in the first place. And when you do, chances are that you're still not worth it (remote possibility of having to sacrifice a posh lifestyle vs. killing some long stay tourist?)

[ProfessorFart]

My advice would be that if you are not cemented to the place in any way and feel that the threat is truly serious then you and your mate head off somewhere for a few weeks until the situation has calmed down.

[Curt]

i love it when some invisible person on a message board who has never met me or any of my friends for a conversation tells me i am generalizing while they make blatant assumptions about us, or my situation, based only on the little part of it that i have shared.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What assumptions are we making?

Based on all the shit you've posted over time, I believe that you do indeed love it!

I doubt we will ever meet for conversation.

We don't run in the same circles.

Not being judgemental; it's just the way it is.

I had a sister-in-law shot dead, through the head, because she wouldn't leave well enough alone.

Everyone warned her, but she knew better; she was going to handle it!

If you are simply trolling, or tossing out mindfarts, please state so.

Some may really think you seek advice.

This just happens to be a topic close to my heart.

[girlx]

your whole post is one big assumption, honey.

[Bilko]

   

Also, given the fact that most falangs aren't even allowed into most professions here, it's unlikely that you'll have a professional/business conflict of interest in the first place.    And when you do, chances are that you're still not worth it (remote possibility of having to sacrifice a posh lifestyle vs. killing some long stay tourist?)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree with Heng, most Farang will never mix in the circles where they will ever come into major financial conflict. They are just not important enough. Most just end up leaving Thailand on their own accord anyway, no need to risk the privilaged life for a Tourist.

[Curt]

I gave my opinion that most Thais would have avoided the situation, what I thought a Thai might do once in this situation, and also included a personal experience.

I rarely offer any personal information, but I thought it might give context to my opinion.

You've chosen to obsess on the "find new friends" crack.

Get over it!

We know far more about you that we should.

You've devoloped quite a persona.

If one doesn't want people to draw assumptions, maybe one should stop blathering on the internet.

[Bilko]

I will tell you what happened to me quite a few years ago.

I had an 1100cc Honda and I was living in Pattaya, I used to drink in Jasmines, Soi Yodsak. Many of the girls wanted to go for a ride on the bike, so I used to go along the seafront, up Pattaya tai to Sukhumvit, then Blast it flat out along the Sukhumvit till I hit Pattaya Nua, Blast down Pattaya Nua ( old road, no lights, no number 3 road turn off ), to the rounabout, then back to Soi 6, all great fun you may think, I had many races with other farangs too!

One fine day, I took off from Jasmines in the direction of Beach road, I gave it a right handful, the girl screamed, it was stomach turning......

A group of Thai guys aged between 18 and 25 used to hang outside a shophouse that belonged to the family of one of this gang of lads, I blasted past them and just did my normal routine round Pattaya and back to the bar.

A while later, a girl said to me

" Hey the Thai guys are gonna get you, you better go other way, towards number 2 road"

I asked " why are they going to get me?"

"Cos you nearly hit one as he was stepping off the pavement when you flew past them "

She was insisting I went the other way to avoid them, there was maybe 10 Thai guys in that group, I said "look after my beer, back in a few minutes"

I went to these guys and apologised, saying , " Hey, sorry man, I did not see you, If I had hit you I would have been off too, I don't wanna have an accident " etc etc, anyway long story short....After I had seen these Thai guys for 5 mins, I went back to the Bar, finished my beer and got on my Bike, and against advice from all the girls, rode towards the Thais, they came out in the road and stopped me, crowded round the Bike and said " Motorsai suay, tao rai" I was with them for the next 2 hours talking bikes and drinking.

They became good friends of mine when I was in Yodsak, and me and those Thai guys used to race down the old Beach road, all good fun, and nobody was hurt.

Moral of the story is, don't be too proud to apologise, don't get all superior on them, don't go ranting and raving at them, and SMILE!!

It works wonders.

[The Nemi]

If anyone brings a fight to my door, thats what they will get. I dont say that to be a hero, it comes down to standing your ground.

People whatever culture, will back down if they are confronted back with the same ferocity as they have shown. If they dont, well theres nothing else to do but "do what ever you can" and primal instincts set in - survival.

Ask him what the problem is, let him know you dont want an argument/problem, if he does not see sense, break his nose. Ofcourse you would definately have to move afterwards.

I get sick of hearing about "mafia" in Thailand. Mafia? yeah right a couple of unorganised thugs is all they are.

Ofcourse there is the other way and that would be to make friends quickly and show your numbers, be it a high up police man or local thug. It all comes down to money here, if your wallet is bigger than his, you get will get better help.

Many people here would opt for an easier approach, like befriending him or buying him a bottle of whiskey - not me!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

LOL dude ur funny....

One thing i wud like to say........

WATCH YOUR BACK..........unless ur one of the so called MAFIA.

Totally disagree with ya man....

I dont know how many years u have been staying here....but still be careful.

This is some place different. Watch Out.

No hard feelings

[Harmonica]

technically it was my money (and not much so i don't really care) but it's my friend who is dealing with threats since he was the one who went through this guy for materials.

And what will your friend think when you get nailed in New York City for either outstanding warrants or absconding with the savings of your roommates at NYC's premier mental institution?

You setup this thread so bottom-of-the-barrel farangs like yourself could come in and take shots at the Thais, didn't you?

Just one decent Thai man or woman in this country (last I heard was there were upwards of millions & millions of them) would outclass the likes of you in a heartbeat.

For crying out loud go on out and get laid by hook or by crook, you freak!

[Bilko]

And what will your friend think when you get nailed in New York City for either outstanding warrants or absconding with the savings of your roommates at NYC's premier mental institution?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[ray23]

MP5, very interesting information you gave us. I have heard - from a usually reliable source - that thailand is in the top-10 of the world when it comes to violence / violent crimes. Is that true ?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Los Angeles had 515 murders in 2003 and 518 in 2004, when U.S. violent crime overall actually fell.

Just one city in Southern Califonia, there are a lot more.

What was that Country Western song you got to know when to hold um and when to fold Um.

If it's worth it do what you got to do, if it's not move on in life.

If you have some minor intimidation that has not resulted in confrontation, walk away the guy probably has saved face at this juncture. The more you respond to it, the more he has to save face.

If your life has become intolerable then you have to do what it takes to bring it back to a norm. That is a personal choice for you no one else. By that way that includes a lot of options not just confrontation. When I have ran into problems here I have changed my life so that I didn't have to deal with them anymore then I absolutely had to do. You may not have as many friends but the friends you have will be real, and you can still have a wonderful life.

You mentioned that attract these kind of things, you might want to do a bit of self evaluation, does this get the old heart pumping, do you enjoy it, do you like the drama. If so thats OK many people do, but never forget it has costs a well and be willing to pay them.

If you want a calm and peaceful life you have to do the things that will assure that you have that.

It seems such a shame that you haven't found that peace for yourself, no one has it 7-24 but I have it most of the time. If that is what you want I hope you achieve it.

I rambling way to much, hope things work out for you

[CarlBkk]

A lot of fuss here.

The guy has taken money and not returned the goods and seems to have it in for the other Thai guy. It's simple, he's in the wrong and he knows it and wishes to scare the other guy off using bullying tactics. Forget about face-saving and the likes - you being a confident foreign girl will be to your advantage I believe if attempting to recover the goods owed. It will completely throw the guy if you approach him in a public place and demand firmly that he gives you back your money - give him the option of leaving it somewhere to be collected or with a third impartial party, and give him an ultimatum that you will be going to the police if the goods/money are not returned within a week.

Contrary to some posts, involving or even threatening to involve the police in such a small incident can scare the wrongdoer into backing down.

Your Thai friend who's getting hassled needs to keep a low profile for a while, but everyone knows a policeman through a friend of a friend etc. here in Thailand, so I'm sure he'll have back-up if he needs it.

As far as fighting is concerned it's best it doesn't come to that if he has guys following him already, but not every punch-up or scuffle has a lethal ending - if it did we would read about 100 fight-related murders per day wouldn't we? If you get into a fight just leave the scene afterwards and don't go back for a while. It's common sense in a strange country. If the guy has a load of friends with him, don't fight in the first place - "maa moo" is all too common in Asia, fairness is not.

[sadman]

you could probably do 1,000 drive by's on Italian American homes without hitting anyone in the mafia... doesn't mean they don't exist either.

What goes clippety clop, clippety clop, clippety clop - BANG - clippety clop, clippety clop, clipety clop?

An Amish drive-by shooting.

Sorry, my daughter told me that and I thought it was brilliant. I'll get my coat.

[girlx]

And what will your friend think when you get nailed in New York City for either outstanding warrants or absconding with the savings of your roommates at NYC's premier mental institution?

er, &lt;deleted&gt; are you talking about? you have the WRONG person, thanks.

[ray23]

And what will your friend think when you get nailed in New York City for either outstanding warrants or absconding with the savings of your roommates at NYC's premier mental institution?

er, &lt;deleted&gt; are you talking about? you have the WRONG person, thanks.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

OK I give up, maybe this would work obtain a 2x4 piece of lumber approximatley 22 inches in length grasp it in both hands, raise it a bit above shoulder level, just beyond your neckline, move it forward toward the offenders left ear, in a rapid and firm motion. JUST KIDDING !!!!!!!!

Edited July 5, 2005 by ray23

[BambinA]

How would a Thai normally deal with this

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

1 i will try to be sweet with that b@stard

..in meantime

2 contact with local mafia

3 tell police about what happend

im Thai

Bambi

Edited July 5, 2005 by BambinA

[Harmonica]

And what will your friend think when you get nailed in New York City for either outstanding warrants or absconding with the savings of your roommates at NYC's premier mental institution?

er, &lt;deleted&gt; are you talking about? you have the WRONG person, thanks.

Wrong person? Not hardly. You're a walking violation of the Laws of Nature, honey -- but nobody is currently enforcing them. New York is however, a different story! You're quite right not to go back.

[ray23]

How would a Thai normally deal with this

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

1 i will try to be sweet with that b@stard

..in meantime

2 contact with local mafia

3 tell police about what happend

im Thai

Bambi

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Come on Bambi, there is not a woman in the world that can not make a man do what she wants and never break a sweat. If you are a Thai woman, you can do it better then most.

[Totster]

How would a Thai normally deal with this

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

1 i will try to be sweet with that b@stard

..in meantime

2 contact with local mafia

3 tell police about what happend

im Thai

Bambi

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Note to self... do not piss bambi off...

totster

[deepdiver]

Watch your back and be aware also tell your friend to notice the the unobvious like being watched, cars parked outside the house not seen before and use the 6th sense.

Paranoia can also be described as acute awareness

Stay Safe

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

now that's paranoia !!!

[Heng]

Yes, having a developed 6th sense is very important here in the LOS.

[girlx]

harmonica i have absolutely nothing to fear from NY, thanks, and i would appreciate your not trying to insist otherwise, as you don't know me (see similar post above). what is it with people on message boards like this and their utter presumptuousness? you get off on spreading unfounded rumors or what? if you have something to say to me why don't you say it to my face rather than hide behind anonymity on the internet?

[girlx]

hey bambi... not saying i would do this, but curious, how would you "connect with local mafia", and do thais believe that mafia will help them more than police?

[deepdiver]

harmonica i have absolutely nothing to fear from NY, thanks, and i would appreciate your not trying to insist otherwise, as you don't know me (see similar post above). what is it with people on message boards like this and their utter presumptuousness? you get off on spreading unfounded rumors or what? if you have something to say to me why don't you say it to my face rather than hide behind anonymity on the internet?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

wow, NY get off realy quick, wait till afthernoon, olimpics vote, then w'ill meet ...

[girlx]

was that english?

[Tornado]

If anyone brings a fight to my door, thats what they will get. I dont say that to be a hero, it comes down to standing your ground.

People whatever culture, will back down if they are confronted back with the same ferocity as they have shown. If they dont, well theres nothing else to do but "do what ever you can" and primal instincts set in - survival.

Ask him what the problem is, let him know you dont want an argument/problem, if he does not see sense, break his nose. Ofcourse you would definately have to move afterwards.

I get sick of hearing about "mafia" in Thailand. Mafia? yeah right a couple of unorganised thugs is all they are.

Ofcourse there is the other way and that would be to make friends quickly and show your numbers, be it a high up police man or local thug. It all comes down to money here, if your wallet is bigger than his, you get will get better help.

Many people here would opt for an easier approach, like befriending him or buying him a bottle of whiskey - not me!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

LOL dude ur funny....

One thing i wud like to say........

WATCH YOUR BACK..........unless ur one of the so called MAFIA.

Totally disagree with ya man....

I dont know how many years u have been staying here....but still be careful.

This is some place different. Watch Out.

No hard feelings

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Lets just say Ive been here long enough, to not be bothered by a two bit thug.