Thai Girls Bitching About One Another

[Chunky1]

They are not my wife's friends, they are wife's of farangs that we have met in our daily lives along the way that have come to visit and it's gone from there.

My wife is Thai and ALL Thais are ' friends '' when they meet, where ever in the country. Sounds like you have a bar girl mindset.

It is funny that you are constantly accusing others of not actually living in Thailand when you yourself are so clueless about Thailand.

Here is a hint: Not all Thais are friends and not all Thais are going to randomly query another Thai about their husbands financial standing.

so why choose to pass comment on a subject you quite clearly know nothing about then. when i, as well as other members and a resident mod have agreed and shared their own observations on what the op is talking about.

pot calling the kettle black me thinks, when it comes to talking about being clueless about what really goes on in this country.

What are you on about? I have told you frankly that my wife's social circle does not act in this type of way. Of course, all of my wife's friends are married to men who are at most 4-5 years older than they are. They are educated, polite, nice people. They would never query my wife on "How much your farang gives you" or whatever silly village type nonsense your wife deals with on a daily basis.

Maybe you should start your own website called www.IhateThaipeople.com and then you can ban anyone who suggests that they have had a different experience than your own.

Most of you have so many negative stories because of your own choices in Thailand. Many of us have made the right choices and thus have not had to deal with the same thing. You can stop calling us liars.

I'm sorry if this hurts your feelings, it is just the truth. Deal with it.

Edited August 3, 2010 by Chunky1

[Chunky1]

How am I running down others? By suggesting in yet another thread that not all Thai people behave poorly? What a pest I am.

[jackinbkk]

my girlfriend was telling me about the bitching that goes on. It happens amongst only the Thai's as well where no farang is involved.

One woman, the girlfriend of an ex-cop thought of herself as very hi-so. That's what everyone said about her. It was funny because

she had a few groups of friends she kept. When she was with each group she'd be friendly and nice, always showing off new purchases too.

She'd bitch about the other people not in that group.

What she hasnt seemed to grasp is that these groups have people who talk to each other. They knew exactly what she did but nobody brought it up.

It could be due to the high standing of her boyfriend.

As a westerner I understand that western women bitch about each other too, So do men. Anyone who's worked in an office knows the back stabbing that

goes on among collegues. Only last week a friend of mine told me he had been blocked for an award by a collegue who had felt hurt by something he'd

done nearly 2 years previously. He only found out once he left the job. He was very surprised as this person was still treating him as a friend face to face.

My girlfriend has always told me how the women would ask any each other how much money boyfriends would give them when a farang was involved.

They do seem to hold the 'money tree' notion. On one ocassion when I was between jobs a man's Thai wife asked my girlfriend why she didn't find another farang with more money.

I was told she would also ask my girlfriend things and then ask me in English trying to catch my girlfriend out. She's not the only Thai to do this.

I havent told her husband what she said but it would be my guess that she's in it for the money. You just have to always be careful.

[sharking]

Im not sure if my perspective will offer any kind of insight, but as a western woman ive had various reactions from Thai women who are around a similar or younger age to me. Some have been very sweet and welcoming towards me, but in certain situations, such as a bar/nightclub or sometimes like a restaurant im sometimes given daggers and the whole looking up and down thing. A few times ive met girls who wanted to be "friendly" but felt very fake..more like weighing me up. I didnt feel a genuine friendship, just being scrutinized. I think can happen with many nationalities and places of course, depends on the individuals, just we are talking about Thailand. But i have found more Thai women to be a bit more territorial than other countries i have lived in. That may be down to the impression that im getting that women here have less of a sisterly code regarding another womans man. So there is a need to be more protective/defensive/territorial. I hope i dont get strung up for this..im just giving a general impression..of course NOT all Thai women are that way..and of course many other women from other countries can be just the same.

good post nice to hear about the other sex side of it

my wife and i lived in the UK for some 3 years and didn't have a problem (or i didn't think we did)

but in Thailand,well i never met a bad bunch of women in al lof my life as here,

and most of them were westerners wives

i built a house ,and before i planed i,t i was going to build a four bed bungalow and all my wife was getting was..... ah yea showing off!!! why build so big,the reason we i was planing to have four beds as we wanted to open a b&b which we kept to ourselves

but anyway we downsize to a 3 bed,after it was...... ah falang have no money have to build small house what the f@@k is this all about,

then one woman said after we bought a pick up ...how much did yours cost.... i said why and her answer was mine cost more than yours.... and i new how much she payed for it and how much her husband put down on it

all i said was yea you only put down 70.000baht over 5 years yes you are paying more but she didn't see that TIT,

now because Ive came back to the UK for a couple of months on business its..... yes you got it..... falang ran out of money,you cant win against these people,

seams to me its a competition with a lot of these women

we do try and keep ourselves to ourselves but some of these women husbands are my mates and there oblivious to this

and if anyone thinks am talking crap then you need to get out a bit more lol

Edited August 4, 2010 by bonobo
removed derogatory slang

[Tinkelbell]

Quoted from Chunky1 .............." Here is a hint: Not all Thais are friends and not all Thais are going to randomly query another Thai about their husbands financial standing."

..................................................................................................................

Totally agree !

Here is my 2 bahts. As a Thai, who having been living in the US for over 20 + yr. I can count all the Thai friends ( the ones that you keep in touch all these years, visiting each other back and forth, spending vacation with their families..etc), not counting the acquaintances Everyone of them are either from my childhood school or from TU and that includes many of my cousins.

Haven't got any Thai friend from outside my circle. Met a few Thais from the parties at the Thai Consul in NY and Chicago.

[philliphn]

How educated are the ladies you talking about? The uneducated enjoy bringing the other down instead up bringing them up. this will happen to any lady or man no matter what part of the world they came from. BR

I have also observed that what you say is true.

[ballpoint]

Sounds like just another farangs bitching about Thais thread to me.

[bonobo]

Quoted from Chunky1 .............."  Here is a hint: Not all Thais are friends and not all Thais are going to randomly query another Thai about their husbands financial standing."

..................................................................................................................

Totally agree !

Here is my 2 bahts.      As a Thai,   who  having been living in the US for over 20 + yr.       I can count all the Thai friends  ( the ones that you keep in touch all these years,   visiting each other back and forth,   spending vacation with their families..etc),   not  counting the acquaintances     Everyone of them are either from my childhood school  or from TU and  that includes many of my cousins.

Haven't got  any Thai  friend from outside my circle.       Met a few Thais  from the parties at the Thai Consul in NY and Chicago.

In Bowling Alone, Robert Putnam pointed out the growing social isolation in the US, where Americans now have on average 2 close friends with whom they can confide, go on vacation, etc.  His findings have since been upheld by studies made at Duke University, among others. 

But without taking issue with Tinklebell, my Thai friends seem to be much more socially interconnected than the trend in the US.  They have many more close friends, most from their schools days, with whom they eat dinner, go to Hong Kong, rent a houseboat, go out for a night on the town, etc.  

I am often introduced to others as being my friends' "good, good friend."  How much of that is posturing, I don't know.  I went to a wedding with a friend once, and my friend admitted to me that she didn't like the bride.  I asked her why we were there, then, and she told me that the bride was her classmate, so of course we had to go.  But that aside, my impression is that Thais, as a whole, have more close friends than Americans, at least.

[lazygourmet]

A bit out off topic, but could you please stop -valid for many other threads as well- dreaming and talking non sense regarding Thai high society...

If your "friend" doesn't have, at least, the initial M.L.(ม.ล.) in front of her name: she is not -HiSo-!

[villagefarang]

A bit out off topic, but could you please stop -valid for many other threads as well- dreaming and talking non sense regarding Thai high society...

If your "friend" doesn't have, at least, the initial M.L.(ม.ล.) in front of her name: she is not -HiSo-!

There are more than a few Na-Ayuthayas and various prominent family names, who I am sure would disagree with you on that one. There are also many Khunyings and Thanyings who are not M.C., M.L. or M.R. A bit of a silly post and a bad attempt at showing off.

Edited August 4, 2010 by villagefarang

[GarryP]

I do not understand why so many seem to be running Chunky down. Is it, perhaps, that certain people are in denial? Some Thais ask about husband's/bf's financial status and some do not. The bitching, back stabbing, coaching on how to get more money/material things does happen but tends to be from a certain demographic. If the women your wife/gf is mixing with are doing the kind of thing mentioned, then she is very probably mixing with people who worked at night on their backs in the past. She needs to find friends that have more in common with her, unless they are already the people with whom she has most in common. Also, the vast majority of wives/gfs who are twenty or so years younger than their foreign husbands/boyfriends fall in the said demographic, despite vigorous denials, including self denial or delusion. What do you expect them to talk about? Before hooking the big one they talked about the same kind of thing only then it was about punters and johns. And before you all start screaming, I realize that this is a generalization and that there are certainly exceptions to the rule.

Edited August 4, 2010 by GarryP

[Beetlejuice]

What about farangs bitching farangs. They make the Thai bitchers appear like amateurs in comparison.

Just take a look at some of the posts on Thai visa. Not exactly blood brothers, are we?

[gburns57au]

This is a common thing with the Thai girls abroad and also in Thailand.

It is also a common thing amongst western women all over the world.

It is also common among lots of men all over the world.

It is called human nature.

Could go through instances that I am personally aware of and after two Thai wives and 17 years of visiting Thailand including Issan areas, there are a lot of instances trust me.

Girls and some men love a little bitch session, it makes them feel better.

My wife now has a small circle of friends after mixing with a lot of the Thai girls here.

Her friend who is a nurse here in Oz also has a small circle of friends after she also mixed with a lot of girls.

My wife can hold her own in a bitch session, remarking after one girl moved away, "the flowers will grow better now the poison has left the ground"

Putting this as a Thai thing, a bar girl thing, a Uneducated thing or a Hi So thing is mere stereotyping.

It is a human thing.

[Beetlejuice]

What about farangs bitching farangs. They make the Thai bitchers appear like amateurs in comparison.

Just take a look at some of the posts on Thai visa. Not exactly blood brothers, are we?

Other than posting you might be surprised that some of us are chums beyond Tv.

Nice thought if it`s true. Maybe hope for us yet.

[robblok]

What about farangs bitching farangs. They make the Thai bitchers appear like amateurs in comparison.

Just take a look at some of the posts on Thai visa. Not exactly blood brothers, are we?

Other than posting you might be surprised that some of us are chums beyond Tv.

Nice thought if it`s true. Maybe hope for us yet.

I know a few guys from TV for real. Don't forget that opinions are put here much stronger as they would in a face to face conversation also dont forget we miss facial expressions and other things so posts could mean a whole other thing then what you read in it.

[BRichards]

How educated are the ladies you talking about? The uneducated enjoy bringing the other down instead up bringing them up. this will happen to any lady or man no matter what part of the world they came from. BR

bull sh*t are you hinting that your wife is hi-so ?

not higher or better but educated and i guess raised differently. Im not saying they are perfect but better in certain areas.

[Kwasaki]

What about farangs bitching farangs. They make the Thai bitchers appear like amateurs in comparison.

Other than posting you might be surprised that some of us are chums beyond Tv.

Nice thought if it`s true. Maybe hope for us yet.

I'm always bitching with my mates, we all like to take mick etc or have a wind up but it's all for fun.

As for the post I thought all women bitched at one another either in fun or with claws drawn.

[dmax]

Any woman from the bar industry will have a limited dialouge due to the fact that most of them have had no education,therefore talking about each other,or their employers or customers will be a natural thing to do,they know no other way,and their lives,especially within' the bar scene will revolve around who's said what,who's done what,who's sleeping with who etc etc.Very sad,but thats the way it is.

Conversations with girls from the non bar scene can be refreshing,numerous different topics can be covered with no real effort,of course these girls will still bitch,but not to the extent that working girls will as they have probably been educated to a higher standard.

PST.

yes rob that is true but mnany of these girls in the uk are from bangkok also , not just isaan where my wife is from , they are all the same , my wifes friend who told me that all thai woman are jealous of eachother is from bangkok !!

no i dont agree, what i should of said is that many of my wifes friends and former friends claim to have worked in offices etc and a few of them are married to very rich farangs here in uk . so she has had all types of friends present and former from hi-so to ex bar girls and it seems that they are all the nsame , i know i have heard them at it first hand !!

I know too first hand and my experiences are differently it really has to do with education and the bar influence. My (ex)wife was not a bar girl but low educated and from isarn. Its a special mindset there then want a farang to milk dry. (not all of course but many). Anyway put them together and they start to tell tall tales and try to make the other feel jealous in turn making them demand more from their man.

[dmax]

these women are marrying men much older than them, of course it is a competition to see who can bleed him the fastest. it's a principle of pride amongst the gold diggers. rofl.

boll**cks mate, my wife is 32 i am 43 . same as a lot of my wifes friends in uk , most (around 95 % )of them are married to guys their own age ...i only know of two girls here are married to older guys and its only around a 15-20 year age bracket

[dmax]

How educated are the ladies you talking about? The uneducated enjoy bringing the other down instead up bringing them up. this will happen to any lady or man no matter what part of the world they came from. BR

You obviously don't live here or have not been informed by your lady what is being said or talked about..

That that l have witnessed is far greater grief than farang land.

It depends on the woman you marry and the company she keeps. My wife has never had this problem.

Total rubbish.

My wife listens to be polite and never replies to show off, in most cases says we have no money to shut them up but with that reply it backfired one time and the woman made the get rid of your husband comment, for sure not with hers for love.

Remember you don't get out much Chunk and think in your wife's case doesn't mix much when your around eh.

lucky guy chuck , your wife must be 1 in a million mate, different from all the rest , eh? hahahaha

[dmax]

my girlfriend was telling me about the bitching that goes on. It happens amongst only the Thai's as well where no farang is involved.

One woman, the girlfriend of an ex-cop thought of herself as very hi-so. That's what everyone said about her. It was funny because

she had a few groups of friends she kept. When she was with each group she'd be friendly and nice, always showing off new purchases too.

She'd bitch about the other people not in that group.

What she hasnt seemed to grasp is that these groups have people who talk to each other. They knew exactly what she did but nobody brought it up.

It could be due to the high standing of her boyfriend.

As a westerner I understand that western women bitch about each other too, So do men. Anyone who's worked in an office knows the back stabbing that

goes on among collegues. Only last week a friend of mine told me he had been blocked for an award by a collegue who had felt hurt by something he'd

done nearly 2 years previously. He only found out once he left the job. He was very surprised as this person was still treating him as a friend face to face.

My girlfriend has always told me how the women would ask any each other how much money boyfriends would give them when a farang was involved.

They do seem to hold the 'money tree' notion. On one ocassion when I was between jobs a man's Thai wife asked my girlfriend why she didn't find another farang with more money.

I was told she would also ask my girlfriend things and then ask me in English trying to catch my girlfriend out. She's not the only Thai to do this.

I havent told her husband what she said but it would be my guess that she's in it for the money. You just have to always be careful.

Yeh, 100% with you. Cannot understand why SOME cannot grasp it, or perhaps they don't want to face it, FEAR.

HERE HERE !!

[dmax]

Sounds like just another farangs bitching about Thais thread to me.

its not me bitching about thai,s , its an observation !! read the post

[MiG16]

Ive mostly stopped adding my Thai observations/views on the questions that I come across on this forum....

but....

Im a bit bored today, so here is something I want to share.

there is a Thai word/concept that I cannot think of an equivalent english translation, but will attempt to outline the concept.

some that have been in Thailand a long time and understand some Thai may know what Im talking about/referring to.

Try to find a book about 'Khunasombat khong Phu dee' - The traits of a 'phu dee'

Phu dee is the word I struggle to translate into one word. In literal translation it means good person/s.

However, it does not refer to someone with a good heart and soul.

Its a total concept of presenting oneself in appropriate manner - from physical mannerisms, the way one talks, walks, eats, treat others. Things like

- always being polite, speak softly, do not shout, do not use abusive language

- proper social etiquettes - such as eating with your mouth close, dont talk while you eat, dont point at people, no feet on the table

- generl respect towards elders - including things like do not stand towering over someone older than you. if they are seated, you bend to about their level, bend wwhile walking pass someone (esp if they are older than you, or if you are about to walk in between 2 people seated across from each other and they are talking)

and etc etc

amongst those etc would also include refrain from asking embarrassing questions (personal things that go on between husband and wife, or how much someone makes would be amongst those), on looking down on others based on economic standing (what you may have and others may not would be one)

some things are logic and applies in various cultures Im sure, some are more thai specific.

but my point is - none of these are things that are only exclusive to the rich thais. however, not all Thais have grown up being taught to observe these traits.

not sure if this answers the OP or some of the debates that have taken place on the thread. my point is - its got nothing to do with wealth or hi-so. I have seen /come across apparently rich types (who one would also assume to be educated), yet have absolutely no clue on the social etiquette or what in thai we refer to as 'phu dee'

[ballpoint]

Sounds like just another farangs bitching about Thais thread to me.

its not me bitching about thai,s , its an observation !! read the post

So what's the next twisted observation of Thais acting human going to be? How about, every so often they lock themselves into a small room and crap into a big white pipe! Disgusting.

[Chunky1]

lucky guy chuck , your wife must be 1 in a million mate, different from all the rest , eh? hahahaha

Well reading this forum I have come to the conclusion that she is very different from the type of girl many here seemed to have ended up with. She would never even entertain the type of ridiculous queries that have been posted in this thread. If a shopkeeper she doesn't know asks her what I do for a living she would simply tell them that it was none of their business. Sorry, but nobody in her social circle would ask rude questions about income levels.

My question to you guys is why do your wives exist in some kind of Mia Farang fraternity? I have seen the threads on Thai forums dedicated to skinning the buffalo. The entire thread is just different mia farangs posting pictures of cars, houses, jewelry, sin sot, gold, brand bags, etc that they got their farang husbands or other farang bfs on the side to buy for them. It is like a competition over who can find the biggest fish. I even recall seeing a life insurance policy posted.

But who knows, maybe all of those girls were really Chula educated neurosurgeons. It's possible, right? Right?

[Chunky1]

I've been here for 7 year but feel free not to update your alternate reality. Ive never been ripped off, fyi.

Edited August 4, 2010 by Chunky1

[PattayaParent]

Is it really any different than 'keeping up with the Jones's" back home?

Farang wives in Thailand do the same.

Same as they do 'back home"

It's not just a Thai trait.

Maybe a woman thing?

[Peterbigeyes]

Is it really any different than 'keeping up with the Jones's" back home?

Farang wives in Thailand do the same.

Same as they do 'back home"

It's not just a Thai trait.

Maybe a woman thing?

Agreed. All women bitch about each other. This aren't exclusive to Thai

[bonobo]

Ive mostly stopped adding my Thai observations/views on the questions that I come across on this forum....

but....

Im a bit bored today, so here is something I want to share.

there is a Thai word/concept that I cannot think of an equivalent english translation, but will attempt to outline the concept.

some that have been in Thailand a long time and understand some Thai may know what Im talking about/referring to.

Try to find a book about 'Khunasombat khong Phu dee' - The traits of a 'phu dee'

Phu dee is the word I struggle to translate into one word. In literal translation it means good person/s.

However, it does not refer to someone with a good heart and soul.

Its a total concept of presenting oneself in appropriate manner - from physical mannerisms, the way one talks, walks, eats, treat others. Things like

- always being polite, speak softly, do not shout, do not use abusive language

- proper social etiquettes - such as eating with your mouth close, dont talk while you eat, dont point at people, no feet on the table

- generl respect towards elders - including things like do not stand towering over someone older than you. if they are seated, you bend to about their level, bend wwhile walking pass someone (esp if they are older than you, or if you are about to walk in between 2 people seated across from each other and they are talking)

and etc etc

amongst those etc would also include refrain from asking embarrassing questions (personal things that go on between husband and wife, or how much someone makes would be amongst those), on looking down on others based on economic standing (what you may have and others may not would be one)

some things are logic and applies in various cultures Im sure, some are more thai specific.

but my point is - none of these are things that are only exclusive to the rich thais. however, not all Thais have grown up being taught to observe these traits.

not sure if this answers the OP or some of the debates that have taken place on the thread. my point is - its got nothing to do with wealth or hi-so. I have seen /come across apparently rich types (who one would also assume to be educated), yet have absolutely no clue on the social etiquette or what in thai we refer to as 'phu dee'

Nice reading a Thai perspective.  Thanks!

And this holds true in other cultures, even if we don't always have a dedicated term for it.  The educated and rich are not the sole purveyors of Western  phu dee, so-to-speak.  You just have to look at Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Vick and untold others to see that reflected.

[xen]

It is not only Thai girls who bitch and cause trouble but , here in Sydney, amongst the Thai community and in particular the Thai community that are involved in businesses such as restaurants etc it is unbelievable how much back stabbing, sabourtage and rumour mongering there is. They try to live their lives like soap operas on Thai television. The same happens in all the expat communities such as the Vietnamese, chinese communities here from what i understand.