French Kissing; Yes Or No?

[meom]

I was more intimate with my Thai lady after 2 weeks than I was with my UK lady after 20 years.

You must be very loyal if you manage to hang on for 20 years.

[bonobo]

I don't know if it is more common in Thailand than other places or why. But I have run into the "love at first sight" thing a number of times here. 100% of the time with a person who was very new to the business. And occasionally with a person who was not in the business at all.

The ability to commit to another with very little acquaintance.

This leads to almost unbelievable levels of intimacy in a very short period of time.

It is possible to find intimacy in a short period of time that one would normally expect only after years of knowing the other person.

I am sure I am not alone in these observations. I do shower frequently and am not encumbered with so called "manly odors."

You're not alone but I would think it's more a case of "lust at first sight"

There seems to be a subtle difference between the two.

There is something which has been called the Cruise Ship Phenomenon, named for the many, many romances which bloom during a short one week cruise. When time is limited, as it might be for a foreigner on vacation here, the process of "love" seems to move along and people feel the attraction, affection, lust, and everything else much quicker than they might back at home and act on those feelings.

Sometimes, those feelings remain even after separation, and sometimes, as the two part, there are feelings of "what the heck did I just do?"

If this phenomenon is an accurate description of facts, and I think it is, then it is certainly possible for love and intimacy to happen quite quickly, especially when one is a Thai local and one is a vacationing foreigner.

[IanForbes]

There is something which has been called the Cruise Ship Phenomenon, named for the many, many romances which bloom during a short one week cruise. When time is limited, as it might be for a foreigner on vacation here, the process of "love" seems to move along and people feel the attraction, affection, lust, and everything else much quicker than they might back at home and act on those feelings.

Sometimes, those feelings remain even after separation, and sometimes, as the two part, there are feelings of "what the heck did I just do?"

If this phenomenon is an accurate description of facts, and I think it is, then it is certainly possible for love and intimacy to happen quite quickly, especially when one is a Thai local and one is a vacationing foreigner.

I have to agree with bonobo, as I usually do, on this topic. There is no telling WHAT might happen between two people of widely varying ages or ethnic back grounds when they are placed in close confines over a short period of time. While just hiking with various back packing groups I've been personally surprised by an intimate relationship I had no intention of starting. It just sort of happens. And, these were farang women. Not Thai hookers. And, to balance that, I have Thai hookers who are friends and whom I've never been intimate with. As far as the kissing is concerned, some like it and some don't. Things just start naturally of there own accord without any planning. .

[thepanicandthevomit]

I don't know if it is more common in Thailand than other places or why. But I have run into the "love at first sight" thing a number of times here. 100% of the time with a person who was very new to the business. And occasionally with a person who was not in the business at all.

The ability to commit to another with very little acquaintance.

This leads to almost unbelievable levels of intimacy in a very short period of time.

It is possible to find intimacy in a short period of time that one would normally expect only after years of knowing the other person.

I am sure I am not alone in these observations. I do shower frequently and am not encumbered with so called "manly odors."

You're not alone but I would think it's more a case of "lust at first sight"

There seems to be a subtle difference between the two.

I think it is, then it is certainly possible for love and intimacy to happen quite quickly, especially when one is a Thai local and one is a vacationing foreigner...

...and minted.

[zzaa09]

I am sure I am not alone in these observations. I do shower frequently and am not encumbered with so called "manly odors."

Atta boy! You figured out the ancient secret of bathing to attract women, funny that it is still so hard for some to grasp this hidden technique.

The laughing Man (sic) - you ever, er, make anyone else laugh?

Well, he's won me over!!!!:lol:

[Shotime]

.... There is usually very little if any intimacy in the short-time relationship..

Who says???!!!!

One writer called prostitutes "instant soul-mates." I thought it was a very good, accurate, and funny use of words.

BTW, what's with the Loooong, and you've seen me out and about? Given a couple of your other responses here, did you bump your head this morning?

[NanLaew]

.... There is usually very little if any intimacy in the short-time relationship..

Who says???!!!!

One writer called prostitutes "instant soul-mates." I thought it was a very good, accurate, and funny use of words.

BTW, what's with the Loooong, and you've seen me out and about? Given a couple of your other responses here, did you bump your head this morning?

Oh dear. Do you want me to use emoticons then? Will that make it easier for you?

[The Philosopher]

My Thai Ridgback is a wonderful French kisser

[elliss]

Yes to French kissing,

no thank you ..

mouth bacteria etc ,

maybe ,,, end up catching herpes .

i settle for holding hands..

[bangkokburning]

I presume you are speaking about prostitutes. Would stand to reason a prostitute would not (French) kiss a John. You might just be too ugly, poor oral hygiene but it is a very intimate thing to do (and might arouse 'emotion/feeling' assuming you are a handsum man), so the girls want little or no part of it. And ...as was stated, she has no idea where your mouth has been (and if you knew where hers has been, maybe you'd decline that as well! Kissing hookers barfined - maybe not a good idea.

17 years in Asia and never had a woman decline a kiss, The news that Thai women don't like French kissing is news to me. My girlfriend is always kissing on me.

I will agree though for many reasons, Asian cultures inherently are not affectionate or into kissing as a rule.

Edited August 12, 2010 by bangkokburning

[bangkokburning]

mark45y

I sat down on a stool and looked up at the stage. A dancer reached down and grabbed me by the neck and planted a minute long French kiss on my mouth.

SO....you allowed a naked prostitute to French kiss you in public for a minute....how special.

[daoyai]

I presume you are speaking about prostitutes. Would stand to reason a prostitute would not (French) kiss a John. You might just be too ugly, poor oral hygiene but it is a very intimate thing to do (and might arouse 'emotion/feeling' assuming you are a handsum man), so the girls want little or no part of it. And ...as was stated, she has no idea where your mouth has been (and if you knew where hers has been, maybe you'd decline that as well! Kissing hookers barfined - maybe not a good idea.

17 years in Asia and never had a woman decline a kiss, The news that Thai women don't like French kissing is news to me. My girlfriend is always kissing on me.

I will agree though for many reasons, Asian cultures inherently are not affectionate or into kissing as a rule.

I agree with most of this observation, I think the major cultural difference is when the "passionate kissing" (french) happens. In the west, that is often the first physical contact between potentential lovers, romantic moment, he moves his face towards hers and they kiss, then move on to....... Here I have found that the women will wait until they are quite arroused and enjoying themselves befor seeking to go mouth to mouth. In this regard kissing is percieved as more of an intimate act than in the west.

[thaimiller]

Even better if it's a real one.

Take a shower, change out of your dirty singlet, shorts and flipflops and put on some clothes that dont make you look like an elementary school educated wife beating beach bum and even brush your teeth.... then go hang out in an area not populated by prostitutes. You might encounter regular people leading regular lives (or not so regular) and start to realise that your vision of what Thailand is all about is not so correct after all, and that people that have different experiences here are not so unbelievable.

Bit of a general staetment that isn't it? some people myself included wear shorts n flip flops alot. I own 2 businesses here in Thailand and earn a very good living from them each month (over 200k THB). I am up to date on my tax and don't owe a single baht to anyone, I just choose not to walk round in a shirt and tie all day unless its needed. Like you say some people have different experiences in Thailand, but it doesn't mean you have to look like you own the world when your really only earning a sh1t wage each month and surviving here, not living here.

[TheLaughingMan]

Even better if it's a real one.

Take a shower, change out of your dirty singlet, shorts and flipflops and put on some clothes that dont make you look like an elementary school educated wife beating beach bum and even brush your teeth.... then go hang out in an area not populated by prostitutes. You might encounter regular people leading regular lives (or not so regular) and start to realise that your vision of what Thailand is all about is not so correct after all, and that people that have different experiences here are not so unbelievable.

Bit of a general staetment that isn't it? some people myself included wear shorts n flip flops alot. I own 2 businesses here in Thailand and earn a very good living from them each month (over 200k THB). I am up to date on my tax and don't owe a single baht to anyone, I just choose not to walk round in a shirt and tie all day unless its needed. Like you say some people have different experiences in Thailand, but it doesn't mean you have to look like you own the world when your really only earning a sh1t wage each month and surviving here, not living here.

Well I wasn't talking to you hehe, if you read panicvomits other thread he is very clear that he does not bathe and doent think he needs to.... which brings about the other generalisations since guys that smell like he does all seem to dress the same. Now in regards to YOUR fashion sense, you have none....unfortunately. Why are you dressing in shorts and flipflops when NO ONE else does... you are dressed for the beach in a city (unless you live on the beach?) There really is no excuse for dressing like that. It's the sex tourist costume and it paints a picture of your personality when people see you whether you want to accept this or not. Dont need to wear a suit. Do what you want... but dont be surprised when people make assumptions about you, this is Thailand.

[daoyai]

...off topic but as weve pretty much exausted the kissing thing........

Laughingman you are just wrong, there is nothing wrong with dressing for comfort, you say why wear shorts when no one else does? This is the tropics man it is hot, if you think that wearing shorts and flipflops makes you a sex tourist is absurd thinking. FYI, cargo type shorts and tshirt is the most common attire of locals here.

This reminds me of a funny personal experience, one time I was in BKK and touristing around, went to the National museum in my usual clothes,(clean) cargo shorts and shirt. I was told by the entry guard that I could not enter dressed as I was...... ok...... as I turned to go, right behind me in line appears a Thai man with his family, he was dressed exactly as I was, I didn't say anything but just glanced back at the guard with slightly raised eyebrows, he didn't say anything but quickly motioned for me to go in the museum.

[thaimiller]

Even better if it's a real one.

Take a shower, change out of your dirty singlet, shorts and flipflops and put on some clothes that dont make you look like an elementary school educated wife beating beach bum and even brush your teeth.... then go hang out in an area not populated by prostitutes. You might encounter regular people leading regular lives (or not so regular) and start to realise that your vision of what Thailand is all about is not so correct after all, and that people that have different experiences here are not so unbelievable.

Bit of a general staetment that isn't it? some people myself included wear shorts n flip flops alot. I own 2 businesses here in Thailand and earn a very good living from them each month (over 200k THB). I am up to date on my tax and don't owe a single baht to anyone, I just choose not to walk round in a shirt and tie all day unless its needed. Like you say some people have different experiences in Thailand, but it doesn't mean you have to look like you own the world when your really only earning a sh1t wage each month and surviving here, not living here.

Well I wasn't talking to you hehe, if you read panicvomits other thread he is very clear that he does not bathe and doent think he needs to.... which brings about the other generalisations since guys that smell like he does all seem to dress the same. Now in regards to YOUR fashion sense, you have none....unfortunately. Why are you dressing in shorts and flipflops when NO ONE else does... you are dressed for the beach in a city (unless you live on the beach?) There really is no excuse for dressing like that. It's the sex tourist costume and it paints a picture of your personality when people see you whether you want to accept this or not. Dont need to wear a suit. Do what you want... but dont be surprised when people make assumptions about you, this is Thailand.

Its coz im an English man from the north of England and even after 6 years I still find it bloody hot here , even like now in Chiang Mai when it rains. So I wear what I feel comfortable in, when I go out to restuarants etc thats a different matter, I always wear a good pair of jeans and a good quality shirt. P.S Panicvomits get a shower

[bonobo]

Bit of a general staetment that isn't it? some people myself included wear shorts n flip flops alot. I own 2 businesses here in Thailand and earn a very good living from them each month (over 200k THB). I am up to date on my tax and don't owe a single baht to anyone, I just choose not to walk round in a shirt and tie all day unless its needed. Like you say some people have different experiences in Thailand, but it doesn't mean you have to look like you own the world when your really only earning a sh1t wage each month and surviving here, not living here.

Well I wasn't talking to you hehe, if you read panicvomits other thread he is very clear that he does not bathe and doent think he needs to.... which brings about the other generalisations since guys that smell like he does all seem to dress the same. Now in regards to YOUR fashion sense, you have none....unfortunately. Why are you dressing in shorts and flipflops when NO ONE else does... you are dressed for the beach in a city (unless you live on the beach?) There really is no excuse for dressing like that. It's the sex tourist costume and it paints a picture of your personality when people see you whether you want to accept this or not. Dont need to wear a suit. Do what you want... but dont be surprised when people make assumptions about you, this is Thailand.

I see both points. As a southern California boy who also spends a good deal of time in Hawaii, I tend to dress in beach pants and either a t-shirt or a polo shirt and my ever-present Mephisto sandals when I am running around Bangkok. Even my "dressier" clothing tends to be docker-style pants and a polo shirt.

On the other hand, I have to accept it if others make assumptions based on that. I don't care too much about that, but I am human enough to care at least a bit.

[mark45y]

mark45y

I sat down on a stool and looked up at the stage. A dancer reached down and grabbed me by the neck and planted a minute long French kiss on my mouth.

SO....you allowed a naked prostitute to French kiss you in public for a minute....how special.

I'm not very shy.

[bangkokburning]

For what its worth - I met my girlfriend when I was only wearing a bathing suit on an island. Shes a more down dresser than I am!

All the smokin' hot young ladies in pretty dresses here and I get the one who can wears jeans and a t-shirt to work and only wears shorts and a t at home.

Can't ride her too hard - I like me shorts.

People that don't wear shorts in this heat defend themselves by saying it looks poor. It doesn't have to. They have pasty white legs and that is their defense. To be sure, BKK is the realm of long pants weekdays - but everyone wears shorts on the weekends or near the home. I come from California and everyone dresses casual and in shorts - why in more heat and humidity would I wear long pants? ACK!

[mark45y]

Even better if it's a real one.

Take a shower, change out of your dirty singlet, shorts and flipflops and put on some clothes that dont make you look like an elementary school educated wife beating beach bum and even brush your teeth.... then go hang out in an area not populated by prostitutes. You might encounter regular people leading regular lives (or not so regular) and start to realise that your vision of what Thailand is all about is not so correct after all, and that people that have different experiences here are not so unbelievable.

Bit of a general staetment that isn't it? some people myself included wear shorts n flip flops alot. I own 2 businesses here in Thailand and earn a very good living from them each month (over 200k THB). I am up to date on my tax and don't owe a single baht to anyone, I just choose not to walk round in a shirt and tie all day unless its needed. Like you say some people have different experiences in Thailand, but it doesn't mean you have to look like you own the world when your really only earning a sh1t wage each month and surviving here, not living here.

When I first got here I wore cargo shorts and a polo shirt almost every day. After a couple of years switched to long pants (light cotton cargo pants, European made) and a sports shirt (again cotton light weight) . I am the same person but I get a lot more action now that I am wearing long pants. I don’t find any comfort difference between light weight long pants and shorts. Most of the male Thais in my area wear work uniforms (oil, gas and auto workers or military. The ladies wear multicolored boxer shorts.

A good light weight pair of cotton cargo pants are not cheap. And designer cotton shirts are not cheap, a fact not lost on young women walking about town.

My advice, although you haven’t asked and I realize advice is worth what you pay for it, would be to try pants and sport shirt for a couple of days. I think you will be surprised at the difference in people reaction. GF asked me what I was typing. I told her and she said, well of course, su paup. I think su paup means polite or something like that.

[mark45y]

For what its worth - I met my girlfriend when I was only wearing a bathing suit on an island. Shes a more down dresser than I am!

All the smokin' hot young ladies in pretty dresses here and I get the one who can wears jeans and a t-shirt to work and only wears shorts and a t at home.

Can't ride her too hard - I like me shorts.

People that don't wear shorts in this heat defend themselves by saying it looks poor. It doesn't have to. They have pasty white legs and that is their defense. To be sure, BKK is the realm of long pants weekdays - but everyone wears shorts on the weekends or near the home. I come from California and everyone dresses casual and in shorts - why in more heat and humidity would I wear long pants? ACK!

I worked in Florida for 20 years. Bankers and businessmen wear tropical wool dark suits.

Bums and tourists wear shorts.

When I owned my own business I retired my expensive suits and hand made silk ties. I wore Dockers and sport shirts and made an <deleted> statement that I had enough cash to drive a new Caddy every year and live on the beach.

Now I wear long pants to be polite because I am not Thai.

[TheLaughingMan]

Hehe ya... maybe some of you guys need to try wearing pants and a non tshirt and see just how Thailand reacts.... its an entirely different world. I come from a cold country too were every year for summer we all wear shorts and tshirts for 2 months, 3 if we can take the chill. But this is Thailand...... just like women know not to dress a certain way so they are not misjudged (unlike back home where a sexy dressed woman is just a sexy woman... not a whore) the men know the same, but not the falangs for some reason...

I dont dress super nice but pants and shoes and any kind of shirt. I get hassled less and scammed less then you tourist looking guys, trust me. Sometimes after a meeting or some other formal business occasion Im wearing a suit still when I go out to regular discos or pubs... holy shit! I get A LOT of attention from women just because of the suit, suddenly I'm a super star. Point is HERE what you wear very much influences how people perceive you and treat you. If you're fine being seen as and treated like a lower life form then by all means go for it, I am not comfortable being treated like that at all.

[daoyai]

If you need to attract attention, go for it , if you need to dress to avoid hassles and scams, up to you, if you would make these sweeping generalizations about clothing......glad I am not in your world. A lower life form? Very happy to not know you.

Edited August 13, 2010 by daoyai

[Berkshire]

Hehe ya... maybe some of you guys need to try wearing pants and a non tshirt and see just how Thailand reacts.... its an entirely different world. I come from a cold country too were every year for summer we all wear shorts and tshirts for 2 months, 3 if we can take the chill. But this is Thailand...... just like women know not to dress a certain way so they are not misjudged (unlike back home where a sexy dressed woman is just a sexy woman... not a whore) the men know the same, but not the falangs for some reason...

I dont dress super nice but pants and shoes and any kind of shirt. I get hassled less and scammed less then you tourist looking guys, trust me. Sometimes after a meeting or some other formal business occasion Im wearing a suit still when I go out to regular discos or pubs... holy shit! I get A LOT of attention from women just because of the suit, suddenly I'm a super star. Point is HERE what you wear very much influences how people perceive you and treat you. If you're fine being seen as and treated like a lower life form then by all means go for it, I am not comfortable being treated like that at all.

A lot of wisdom here, actually. Has to do with "when in Rome...." sort of thing.

[TheLaughingMan]

If you need to attract attention, go for it , if you need to dress to avoid hassles and scams, up to you, if you would make these sweeping generalizations about clothing......glad I am not in your world. A lower life form? Very happy to not know you.

Rofl they arent MY generalisations. You dont want to believe that the entire country makes these generalisations? Fine, up to you to be blind. But you ARE in my world, you just dont know it.

[Dakhar]

mark45y

I sat down on a stool and looked up at the stage. A dancer reached down and grabbed me by the neck and planted a minute long French kiss on my mouth.

SO....you allowed a naked prostitute to French kiss you in public for a minute....how special.

I'm not very shy.

If she is naked and dang good looking, thoughts about occupation etc.... seem to be rather distant, in fact critical thinking skills seem to dwindle rapidly

[Dakhar]

If you need to attract attention, go for it , if you need to dress to avoid hassles and scams, up to you, if you would make these sweeping generalizations about clothing......glad I am not in your world. A lower life form? Very happy to not know you.

Rofl they arent MY generalisations. You dont want to believe that the entire country makes these generalisations? Fine, up to you to be blind. But you ARE in my world, you just dont know it.

As for me, I'd rather be mistaken for a tourist, or even (gasp) a sex tourist than and English teacher. So I dress down when I can.....

[phomsanuk]

If you must invade with your tongue do it somewhere it will not choke them.

I'm not sure they're all that keen on that either.

You bring up an interesting point. I'm assuming you're talking about cunnilingus (yeh). Which is a country-less form of kissing. First of all, they are keen on it, and enjoy it immensely. Sometimes, the girls don't want you to because they don't want to get "turned-on." No further information.

Interesting opinion, I assume your also hansom,

[TheLaughingMan]

If you need to attract attention, go for it , if you need to dress to avoid hassles and scams, up to you, if you would make these sweeping generalizations about clothing......glad I am not in your world. A lower life form? Very happy to not know you.

Rofl they arent MY generalisations. You dont want to believe that the entire country makes these generalisations? Fine, up to you to be blind. But you ARE in my world, you just dont know it.

As for me, I'd rather be mistaken for a tourist, or even (gasp) a sex tourist than and English teacher. So I dress down when I can.....

I always assumed you flipflop wearing guys were english teachers.

[daoyai]

Laughingman, how can you speak for the entire country? That is why I question your assertions, we all know that certain (Q)high So Locals are obsessed with staus and apearence, I

tend to avoid such people, always have. I am far from being blind, I choose my attire according to my taste, local custom and comfort. The regular folks that I interact with on a daily basis most certainly do not treat me as a "lower life form" if they did, they would lose the privilege of my aquaintence. You are correct that we share the same world.

Edited August 13, 2010 by daoyai