Thai Wife Pawns Wedding Ring

[Colabamumbai]

Why does my Thai wife pawn the wedding ring that I bought her for 8,000 Bhat, she gets 2,000 bhat at pawn shop, this is after I pay bank $56,000 bhat that she is behind in mortgage payments.....???? Confused, says she has bills, but she can not ask me to help her with them. She refuses to work now she is married to me.

[andrew55]

Why not?

[Colabamumbai]

Why not?

Guess she does not care who will make her mortgage payment next month and look after her family, for the rest of her life short sighted maybe?

[moe666]

Why not?

Guess she does not care who will make her mortgage payment next month and look after her family, for the rest of her life short sighted maybe?

Only think of today because I have mango tree in yard no go hungry, sounds like a Thai to me.

[zzaa09]

I hate to come across as a black spot, but this doesn't look like a rosy future for you. Cut your loses, cut all ties, and get out. I see nothing but misery down the road. Plenty of good and alternative fish in the waters. Good luck to you however you pursue.

[Geekfreaklover]

Have to agree with Burroughs. Seems to me that the selling of the ring is a symbolic gesture that states quite clearly that as far as she is concerned your marriage is a contract wherby you provide money to her whilst she does nothing but cause you pain and suffering.

Of course I could be wrong.

Good luck.

[TheLaughingMan]

Why are you confused? You dont see it? She's using you, you married a bad person. Sorry if you really didnt understand, with so many examples of it all the time right here its hard to imagine you are not trolling and just making this up to get a reaction. Citing the examples you listed, the answer is completely and utterly obvious.

[Will27]

Choo choo..........

We have another train wreck approaching.

[sbk]

This forum is for women, not about women, so unless you are posting here for some specific advice from women, this thread should be moved

[Colabamumbai]

This forum is for women, not about women, so unless you are posting here for some specific advice from women, this thread should be moved

I was hoping to get the ladies point of view.

[Artamus]

This forum is for women, not about women, so unless you are posting here for some specific advice from women, this thread should be moved

I was hoping to get the ladies point of view.

The title of this forum is "ladies in Thailand", not "For ladies in Thailand". Seems like a perfectly logical place to post it to me.

[Colabamumbai]

This forum is for women, not about women, so unless you are posting here for some specific advice from women, this thread should be moved

I was hoping to get the ladies point of view.

The title of this forum is "ladies in Thailand", not "For ladies in Thailand". Seems like a perfectly logical place to post it to me.

Thanks for your support.

[sbk]

Forum description

Ladies in Thailand

A forum managed and populated by the foreign and local girls in Thailand. Venting and exchange with others.

Hope that makes things clearer to all concerned.

While men are certainly welcome to post, so long as they remain mannerly, this forum is for women and as such is only approrpraite if you are specifically looking for women's opinions.

And that, I believe, is enough discussion regarding moderation in this forum.

Edited August 11, 2010 by sbk

[eek]

Have to say, I dont reaIIy quite see what insight the Iadies here can offer you. Im sure most of us have absoIuteIy no idea why your wife pawned her wedding ring. I imagine we have Iess experience of this kind of thing than the men in the forum have. So they are the ones to ask. Even if we specuIated it is IikeIy no different than the specuIation men can offer. So..for me personaIIy this thread is mispIaced in the Iadies forum. My onIy advice is why not just ask her..??

[Artamus]

Have to say, I dont reaIIy quite see what insight the Iadies here can offer you. Im sure most of us have absoIuteIy no idea why your wife pawned her wedding ring. I imagine we have Iess experience of this kind of thing than the men in the forum have. So they are the ones to ask. Even if we specuIated it is IikeIy no different than the specuIation men can offer. So..for me personaIIy this thread is mispIaced in the Iadies forum. My onIy advice is why not just ask her..??

My reading of the original post is that this has happened on more than one occasion (OP used "does" rather than "has" or "did" or "would"). But maybe I read too much into the wording. Maybe it would be interesting to know if any others have experience of their partner pawning a wedding ring. If it were my other half I'd be pretty mortified.

[IanForbes]

Quote: "Why does my Thai wife pawn the wedding ring that I bought her for 8,000 Bhat, she gets 2,000 bhat at pawn shop, this is after I pay bank $56,000 bhat that she is behind in mortgage payments.....???? Confused, says she has bills, but she can not ask me to help her with them. She refuses to work now she is married to me."

Sorry to hear of your misfortune, but there is no way of figuring out the Thai woman's thought process in this issue. I've seen it happen to the family I try to help. I used to buy back family jewelry put in the pawnship by the woman I tried to help. I also bought her jewelry for her birthday... but no more. In fact I refuse to give any presents anymore that can be pawned. I'll buy practical things such as clothing, and I'll help with the family business I helped them start, but nothing else.

I've tried to explain the terrible concept of pawning items for 20 % on the baht, but the Thais don't seem to grasp the concept. And, another bad one is buying goods (such as motorcycles) on time... with the huge markup in interest, but my sensible advice falls on deaf ears.

Unfortunately, in your situation, you are married to the woman who seems to have no common sense. All I can go back to is the advice I always give... never invest anything in Thailand that you are not willing to walk away from with few regrets.

[IanForbes]

Have to say, I dont reaIIy quite see what insight the Iadies here can offer you. Im sure most of us have absoIuteIy no idea why your wife pawned her wedding ring. I imagine we have Iess experience of this kind of thing than the men in the forum have. So they are the ones to ask. Even if we specuIated it is IikeIy no different than the specuIation men can offer. So..for me personaIIy this thread is mispIaced in the Iadies forum. My onIy advice is why not just ask her..??

Agreed, as I usually do with you, eek. This is better suited for the general forum. It's not a ladies issue at all.

[Lumumba]

Have to say, I dont reaIIy quite see what insight the Iadies here can offer you. Im sure most of us have absoIuteIy no idea why your wife pawned her wedding ring. I imagine we have Iess experience of this kind of thing than the men in the forum have. So they are the ones to ask. Even if we specuIated it is IikeIy no different than the specuIation men can offer. So..for me personaIIy this thread is mispIaced in the Iadies forum. My onIy advice is why not just ask her..??

My reading of the original post is that this has happened on more than one occasion (OP used "does" rather than "has" or "did" or "would"). But maybe I read too much into the wording. Maybe it would be interesting to know if any others have experience of their partner pawning a wedding ring. If it were my other half I'd be pretty mortified.

Thats not the worst a woman can do, come on.

She could also sleep with your best buddy on your bed.

And think its not too big a deal.

Run my friend.

[eek]

Just a side-note.. NOT aII Thai women are hard to read or speak to, not aII Thai women require men to buy/give them anything, and not aII Thai peopIe have no business/common sense...

[billd766]

Just a side-note.. NOT aII Thai women are hard to read or speak to, not aII Thai women require men to buy/give them anything, and not aII Thai peopIe have no business/common sense...

My wife is one of those you have just described.

Edited August 11, 2010 by billd766

[bina]

just to point out what has been pointed out a zillion times before: gold jewelry even wedding rings are not for sentimentality but for exactly that: wearable money in time of need. we (thai hubby and i) traded my sin sot baht necklace for cash to buy a camera after our camera died and i preferred having a camera then a necklace that i cant really wear most of the time anyhow, and we were short of cash. this was a year ago. that necklace came in very handy i must say. got a nice little canon for it.

second: many /majority even of thai weddings do not involve wedding rings. i was laughed at when my husband and i exchanged rings. that is a very western thing to do. as far as the thai were concerned, the second, half baht necklace that i chose btw, is the 'wedding ring' proof of being married. its the same necklace i wear when attending thai gatherings, it signals 'married' as does the ring signaling 'married' here in israel which is wy my hsuband will wear his ring here.

so she pawned it not because she loves or doesnt love u but because she needs money. now, WHY she needs money etc.........well, i guess this thread will soon be moved to the general section to receive all the 'thai women blablabla' posts that will follow.

should i jsut move this and get it over with?

bina

israel

[Tippaporn]

Just a side-note.. NOT aII Thai women are hard to read or speak to, not aII Thai women require men to buy/give them anything, and not aII Thai peopIe have no business/common sense...

My wife is one of those you have just described.

Ditto for my girlfriend. More than just a side-note, eek.

Agree with eek that women would not able to offer much more insight into the Op's situation than a man would. And only men have commented thus far. (Are you women aware of all the male lurkers in this forum? ) On the other hand, given the circumstances as described by the OP I could imagine the replies were this the General forum. Ouch!

My advice? If the OP has a queasy feeling in his gut right about now then, yes, time to cut his loses . . . and quickly. It sounds like the 'signs' his wife has been giving are getting clearer as to what the reality of the situation is as opposed to the ideal in the mind of the OP.

I must be getting old . . . slow to post. Bina nixed my comment about replies being exclusive to males thus far.

Choke dee, my friend.

Edited August 11, 2010 by Tippaporn

[Colabamumbai]

Have to say, I dont reaIIy quite see what insight the Iadies here can offer you. Im sure most of us have absoIuteIy no idea why your wife pawned her wedding ring. I imagine we have Iess experience of this kind of thing than the men in the forum have. So they are the ones to ask. Even if we specuIated it is IikeIy no different than the specuIation men can offer. So..for me personaIIy this thread is mispIaced in the Iadies forum. My onIy advice is why not just ask her..??

Says her mother needed money, mother lives with us, I slip mother $500 bhat ocassionally.

[Colabamumbai]

just to point out what has been pointed out a zillion times before: gold jewelry even wedding rings are not for sentimentality but for exactly that: wearable money in time of need. we (thai hubby and i) traded my sin sot baht necklace for cash to buy a camera after our camera died and i preferred having a camera then a necklace that i cant really wear most of the time anyhow, and we were short of cash. this was a year ago. that necklace came in very handy i must say. got a nice little canon for it.

second: many /majority even of thai weddings do not involve wedding rings. i was laughed at when my husband and i exchanged rings. that is a very western thing to do. as far as the thai were concerned, the second, half baht necklace that i chose btw, is the 'wedding ring' proof of being married. its the same necklace i wear when attending thai gatherings, it signals 'married' as does the ring signaling 'married' here in israel which is wy my hsuband will wear his ring here.

so she pawned it not because she loves or doesnt love u but because she needs money. now, WHY she needs money etc.........well, i guess this thread will soon be moved to the general section to receive all the 'thai women blablabla' posts that will follow.

should i jsut move this and get it over with?

bina

israel

She wanted the ring in advance of the marriage I though it was to show that I was committed, now I see that it was so she could have something the same as cash.

[eek]

Ok..i may get strung up for this..but im going to give a truly honest perspective (that of course doesnt mean im very knowledgeable, and of course, for what little my perspective is worth.) First off, forgive me if im a tad grouchier than usual. Ive been under the weather of late. Thats no excuse, but may help explain my cutting to the chase.

In general, many of things men write in this forum leaves me agog. Sometimes i think it must be a troll post. Often I HOPE it must be a troll post. Some men seem to allow things to happen within a relationship here, that they would never dream of allowing "back home". Why are some things that would be fundamental in relationships suddenly cast aside? Of course there needs to be give and take, allowances and understanding within mixed culture relationships..but that should be MUTUAL.

..hmm..maybe i should stop here...im waffling now..and a tad off-topic. Its just I really think we all (well..for the most part anyway..except for the a-holes..(scuze my language..but i couldnt think of a another word to better describe))deserve decent relationships and happiness within our relationships. Some times i want to shake men who ask questions like "Do Thai girls French Kiss", "Do Thai girls let their phone batteries die" (sorry to those OP's..but thats the truth). But ultimately i guess it boils down to whether a person is happy or not.

Colabamumbai, i wish you the best. Maybe take a good look at your relationship and ask yourself "Am i happy?". If you are..then great..dont sweat the small stuff. But if stuff like this gets under your skin, even if there is no malice or wrong doing behind it, you may end up more and more unhappy. Bina made a good point in finding out what the motives for the sale was. But of course, even then, you need to address if you are ok with it.

Geez...i think i shouldnt type when i have a fever...

..Excuse me if this doesnt quite gel together or make sense.

Im just sad and often confused when i read some stuff guys post..

[samran]

I guess she's just not that into you....

[Lumumba]

Methinks she need a more expensive replacement. B8000, thats a cheap ring, Some Thai mothers hold their girls at ransom. They just dont care if she happy doing their bidding or not.

If you feel MIL is being a bad influence or making most days a bad one, you should consider moving her out or moving out with your wife.

I know a friend that have to pay for alcohol rehab for a MIL running into tens of thousands a couple of time every year. This MIL carries a beer bottle in her handbag everywhere in their house.

[Colabamumbai]

Ok..i may get strung up for this..but im going to give a truly honest perspective (that of course doesnt mean im very knowledgeable, and of course, for what little my perspective is worth.) First off, forgive me if im a tad grouchier than usual. Ive been under the weather of late. Thats no excuse, but may help explain my cutting to the chase.

In general, many of things men write in this forum leaves me agog. Sometimes i think it must be a troll post. Often I HOPE it must be a troll post. Some men seem to allow things to happen within a relationship here, that they would never dream of allowing "back home". Why are some things that would be fundamental in relationships suddenly cast aside? Of course there needs to be give and take, allowances and understanding within mixed culture relationships..but that should be MUTUAL.

..hmm..maybe i should stop here...im waffling now..and a tad off-topic. Its just I really think we all (well..for the most part anyway..except for the a-holes..(scuze my language..but i couldnt think of a another word to better describe))deserve decent relationships and happiness within our relationships. Some times i want to shake men who ask questions like "Do Thai girls French Kiss", "Do Thai girls let their phone batteries die" (sorry to those OP's..but thats the truth). But ultimately i guess it boils down to whether a person is happy or not.

Colabamumbai, i wish you the best. Maybe take a good look at your relationship and ask yourself "Am i happy?". If you are..then great..dont sweat the small stuff. But if stuff like this gets under your skin, even if there is no malice or wrong doing behind it, you may end up more and more unhappy. Bina made a good point in finding out what the motives for the sale was. But of course, even then, you need to address if you are ok with i

Geez...i think i shouldnt type when i have a fever...

..Excuse me if this doesnt quite gel together or make sense.

Im just sad and often confused when i read some stuff guys post..

I have been happy and do love her, it is just an insult to do this. She has been told that if she needs money to ask. I just save her from the bank taking her house, I am wondering if it is only the money she loves and not me. She can make the next mortgage payment or the bank can take her house and put her out in the street.

[Patsycat]

Now that's just being silly. She can pay the next payment or she is out on the street?

You must really love her. You would rather worry over a ring than a house?

She could have lied and said she had lost the ring. Then you would be none the wiser.

[Colabamumbai]

Now that's just being silly. She can pay the next payment or she is out on the street?

You must really love her. You would rather worry over a ring than a house?

She could have lied and said she had lost the ring. Then you would be none the wiser.

That is fine I have her passport and Tambien ban locked up, when she wonders where it is I will tell here it is at the Lawyers office.