Does This Sound Right?

[LoveDaBlues]

My Thai GF lives in the Sri Bung Ruang area. She told me her family's monthly expenses average about 14,000 baht. Her father pays 4,000 baht a month on a truck payment (used Nissan) and she says it takes another 10,000 baht for food, mobile phones, electricity, water and gas. They live in an old house which is paid for. Does this sound about right or is she 'padding' the figures a bit?

[Totster]

I think it's quite hard to say really... everyone lives their lives in different styles... what is normal for one family to spend in one month, would not be enough for another, or enough for two months for another family...

totster

[LoveDaBlues]

Thanks Totster. She seems pretty honest....the numbers make sense to me.....I just wanted some input from others in the area. No 'sick buffalo' story yet but new tires for truck.....etc.

[buadhai]

I think they could easily spend that much, but could probably get by on less. You really need to know more. How much for electricity? How many mobile phones? What do they eat?

We spend 2k a month on electricity, but we have air con. Sometimes we have a meal that costs 20 baht for two, but we could easily spend 20 or 30 times that on a splurge.

As Totster points out, you really need to know the lifestyle to have an idea of the expenses. It's possible to survive on a very small amount of money, but it's also very easy to spend a lot more.

[roiet]

My Thai GF lives in the Sri Bung Ruang area.  She told me her family's monthly expenses average about 14,000 baht.  Her father pays 4,000 baht a month on a truck payment (used Nissan) and she says it takes another 10,000 baht for food, mobile phones, electricity, water and gas.  They live in an old house which is paid for.  Does this sound about right or is she 'padding' the figures a bit?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Usually payments for used trucks are 24 steps or more and never ever more than 2,000 per month. Electricity 300, water 100, gas 200. Food max. 3,000 per month having 3 times meat per day . Mobile phone maybe 300.

Max 6,000 per month, really |||| .

Maybe family has some hidden expenses not known to you, 5 cousins, 5 uncles etc etc need some serious support, sick in hospital etc . Money distribution is very very common in Isaan.

Padding, yes

[jayenram]

A typical monthly wage in Issarn for unskilled manual w*rkers is Bht 3,000.00 to Bht 3,500.00. A skilled job could maybe bring in double that. A small family could live on this albeit not to farang standards.

[chownah]

Thanks Totster.  She seems pretty honest....the numbers make sense to me.....I just wanted some input from others in the area.  No 'sick buffalo' story yet but new tires for truck.....etc.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Of course the truck might be paid for already and 'Nissan' is his girlfriends name.

[TokyoT]

As stated by many earlier posts cost of living in Issan can vary quite significantly from one family to the other. No mention of the number of family members (Mom, Dad, a couple of brothers/sister, any Aunts, Uncles, Grandparent?), school cost for any brothers/sisters, how many cell phones? –many different things that can affect the total budget. If you really doubt the figures and really want proof you can always ask to see the major bills (truck, water, gas, electric, mobile phones). Also how many payments left on the truck? Might also have been long ago paid off?

You do not specifically state why you are asking, but I assume it has something to do with a request for you to contribute in some fashion. The question you have to ask your self is how did they get along before? Helping to share the cost is different than coving the entire cost.

Your GF might be on the up-n-up, but she might be under pressure to produce something from the new farang boyfriend. So the figure she has given to you might not be her figure, but a family number that she has been told to give to you.

[lopburi3]

My Thai GF lives in the Sri Bung Ruang area.  She told me her family's monthly expenses average about 14,000 baht.  Her father pays 4,000 baht a month on a truck payment (used Nissan) and she says it takes another 10,000 baht for food, mobile phones, electricity, water and gas.  They live in an old house which is paid for.  Does this sound about right or is she 'padding' the figures a bit?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Usually payments for used trucks are 24 steps or more and never ever more than 2,000 per month. Electricity 300, water 100, gas 200. Food max. 3,000 per month having 3 times meat per day . Mobile phone maybe 300.

Max 6,000 per month, really |||| .

Maybe family has some hidden expenses not known to you, 5 cousins, 5 uncles etc etc need some serious support, sick in hospital etc . Money distribution is very very common in Isaan.

Padding, yes

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Truck payment of 24 x 2,000 = 48,000 without any interest. Trucks cost a whole lot more than that, even used and abused!

Other costs are also absolute minimum and I would consider them survival rather than living. Phone costs alone are often multi thousands of baht per month for those living upcountry.

[LoveDaBlues]

Good one chownah..... The family consists of mom,dad,son,daughter, grandma. She offered to send me the bills.....I said no. I am sending 10,000 baht a month. If this is a little high I don't care......they can save it for a rainy day or blow it. No one in her family drinks except the son (23 years old); they seem to be pretty stable just poor. They work every day it doesn't rain (selling fruit at different markets).

[TokyoT]

If this is a little high I don't care......they can save it for a rainy day or blow it. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good attitude

[buadhai]

That's a huge contribution. In my GF's family are four college graduates working in the finance industry (Aeon and the like). All have base salaries under 10K a month.

[chownah]

Good one chownah.....     The family consists of mom,dad,son,daughter, grandma.  She offered to send me the bills.....I said no.  I am sending 10,000 baht a month.  If this is a little high I don't care......they can save it for a rainy day or blow it.  No one in her family drinks except the son (23 years old); they seem to be pretty stable just poor.  They work every day it doesn't rain (selling fruit at different markets).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think that 10,000 baht per month is a good amount to send probably...a bit on the generous side. You might want to consider why you are supporting her family. I'm not against this but sometimes people just sort of go with the flow and don't stop and consider why they do some things..especially if they've recently fallen in love with someone. If you think that you will be having a long term relationship with her then I advise that you send her money just like you would send a wife money...because you are the provider and she is the one you are providing for....but this is just how I look at it and you may have a different viewpoint. You seem to be making payments to your girlfriend based on her family's needs, not on her needs....It may mean to them that this means that you will continue to provide for their needs...whatever those needs may be. If I am right this is not necessarily bad...but is it what you intend your future to be? Imagine that you traveled the world and found a really rich girlfriend and she decided to send you enough money to support your entire family....how would this play out?

[LoveDaBlues]

Lopburi3, she told me the truck cost 100,000 baht. 48 payments X 4000 baht = 192000 baht pay back. If she is telling me the truth this is highway robbery on interest rates. Is this common in Thailand for poor people to get ripped off on finance charges...maybe they can't get a loan through a decent source? About the phones....yea you are right. She and her mother both have mobiles and use them a lot. I have a feeling if she's 'padding' the families monthly expenses it's not by much.

[jayenram]

Is this common in Thailand for poor people to get ripped off on finance charges

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Very common. Taking out loans without collateral from loan sharks could attract interest rates of up to 5% per month (60% p.a.).

[LoveDaBlues]

Chownah, when we were together in Thailand I told her I would support her and 'help' her family.......not support them but yes give them some money each month so they could have a better life. Of course it's actually hard to figure where the 'help' becomes full blown 'support'.

Once I move back to Thailand she will live with me and I will still send her parents some money.....but not the current 10,000 baht I'm sending now. Maybe cut it back to around 6,000 baht. That's not much money for me and I do want to help her parents. When I visited her family their house made me sad. A small TV that looked about 15 years old and crappy furniture. The tile floor was ripped and ancient. No way could I live there.

When I first met this girl I asked her why she would want to be with me as I'm 48 and she is 25. Her reply, 'because with you I can live a better life and you can help my family'. She didn't give me the standard 'because you such handsome man' crap. She's either extremely honest or playing me like a violin. Do I hear music......?

[roiet]

Once I move back to Thailand she will live with me and I will still send her parents some money.....but not the current 10,000 baht I'm sending now. Maybe cut it back to around 6,000 baht.

This is usually a difficult task, once people get used to it, they do not want to step down. I do not know your girl friends educational level, but maybe some further investment in higher education would always produce some additional income for the family. Since she is the a girl she will always be obliged to support the family.

[aletta]

Up here,6000/7000 Baht is enough to keep a familly.(average wage 3000 per month)

[RamdomChances]

Intrest rates on 2nd hand cars are very expensive here 400/month does'nt seem high.

If you are going to send 10,000 a month now, it wont go down that well if you cut it back.

The 14,000 a month is possible as said depending on their lifestyle, I assume they are paying this already though without you support, do her other brothers and sisters (if any) contribute?

A small TV that looked about 15 years old and crappy furniture. The tile floor was ripped and ancient.

A TV and a tiled floor along with a pick-up....definatly middle class

Since she is the a girl she will always be obliged to support the family

First I've ever heard of this one?

[Dragonman]

Good one chownah.....     The family consists of mom,dad,son,daughter, grandma.  She offered to send me the bills.....I said no.  I am sending 10,000 baht a month.  If this is a little high I don't care......they can save it for a rainy day or blow it.  No one in her family drinks except the son (23 years old); they seem to be pretty stable just poor.  They work every day it doesn't rain (selling fruit at different markets).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think that 10,000 baht per month is a good amount to send probably...a bit on the generous side. You might want to consider why you are supporting her family. I'm not against this but sometimes people just sort of go with the flow and don't stop and consider why they do some things..especially if they've recently fallen in love with someone. If you think that you will be having a long term relationship with her then I advise that you send her money just like you would send a wife money...because you are the provider and she is the one you are providing for....but this is just how I look at it and you may have a different viewpoint. You seem to be making payments to your girlfriend based on her family's needs, not on her needs....It may mean to them that this means that you will continue to provide for their needs...whatever those needs may be. If I am right this is not necessarily bad...but is it what you intend your future to be? Imagine that you traveled the world and found a really rich girlfriend and she decided to send you enough money to support your entire family....how would this play out?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree. Make it clear, whatever you send, that it is for her to do what she likes with, not for the family. I guarantee that when married and living together her family will expect the same as before unless you make it clear. I sent my wife 10000 baht a month before we married and out of this she bought 2 motorbikes, 4 cows, tv, dvd, farang beds, sofa, fridge, etc.

Send the money to the family every month and they will buy beer, whisky and cigarettes for every hanger on within the village. My wife's family live Ok on the 3000 baht I now send. But still the vast majority of this goes on alcohol.

My brother in law in the same village provides for his wife and 2 kids on 3000 baht a month cow herding and they do not go short of anything but alcohol.

[LoveDaBlues]

roiet, she has a high school education. She wanted to go to college but there was no money. She reads, writes, and speaks English fairly well. I want her to enroll in an English class once I get back to Thailand. I'm actually sending the money to her and not her parents. Maybe I was not clear on this earlier. Anyway, I think if I support her fully and send the family 6000 baht a month this is enough. If it's not they can trade me in for a different model farang.

[roiet]

Since she is a girl she will always be obliged to support the family

First I've ever heard of this one?

Sorry, I should say since she is the oldest child in the family and a girl, she will always be obliged to support the family.

So in Surin and other places in Isaan they do help like this.

[LoveDaBlues]

Wow guys good advice. I don't want to be a 'cheap charlie' but on the other hand I don't want to see my hard-earned money pissed away. Maybe 6000 each month is too much. At this point I don't really know. I'll have to just adjust as I go.....if they can't handle it too bad. Last time I looked there were still a couple of single girls left in Thailand.............

[pnustedt]

We don't send money to the family per se but we have provided them with the means to earn money, i.e. bought land, trucks, machinery, etc. That way they keep their independence and we can decide how much on a case by case basis.

[chownah]

Perhaps when you move to Thailand and reduce the stipend for the family you could make the excuse that your income is smaller since you moved to Thaland and that's why you have to give less...it doesn't matter so much in Thailand if this is true or not but it gives everyone the reason to accept the reduction so that face can be saved all around....on the other hand they may suggest that you go back and work some more......I'm not trying to paint a negative picture but sometimes in my life in Thailand my wife and other people have suggested what I thought were strange things like this and I"ve found that the best thing is to take it with a bit of humor and not get too excited or reacted by it.

[lampard10]

I paid cash for my sister-in laws pick up, and they pay me back 8,000 a month over six years. I charge them 2.4% per annum, which covers the interest I would have got. As second hand cars do not lose much value, I would think it's an old banger for that repayment, and the maintainance costs would be high. They must be fairly honest though if they only gave you a small figure like that for HP re-payments.

[LoveDaBlues]

Yep, it's an old banger alright. 1993 Nissan Pickup with a diesel engine. When I get back to Thailand I will find out what the payoff is. Maybe pay it off to save the interest and just cut back my monthly 'gift' to the family until I'm paid back.

lampard10 - that was a great thing to do. Saved the in-laws a lot of money in interest and I'm sure made your stock rise in the eyes of your wife and her family.

One thing I've learned from this forum....keep my big mouth shut as to my income. I'll have $3800 USD each month to spend after taxes. Can't let the GF know this. I plan to have a nice apartment and buy a new car for us (I'm thinking about the Toyota Vios). Also help her family each month with cash . But I earned the money and I'll control it. She will be well cared for and want for nothing. If she presses for money the big shoe will come down and stop that sh1t quick.

[Totster]

I'll have $3800 USD each month to spend after taxes.  Can't let the GF know this.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Why can't she know... why the big secret..? Not a sound grounding for a relationship really IMHO.

Please don't take this the wrong way.. but you have come in here questioning her character/integrity/honesty before having any reason to actually doubt her, has she done something in the past that makes you doubt her..?

If you are having these negative thoughts now, is she really the person for you, should you even be thinking of sending her family money... ?

I think you have to ask yourself this... Do I listen to all the scare stories about how Thai women are so bad, want all my money blah blah blah... or do I make up my own mind about my GF .

totster

[LoveDaBlues]

totster, I really don't question her 'basic' honesty. I just think it's possible she has 'exaggerated ' slightly with regards to the family bills each month. If she has I'm sure it is with good intentions......to help her parents. I really can't get mad with this if indeed it is true......because it's always up to me to decide how much money to give anyway. She recently told me she would send me the bills she pays each month to prove the amounts to me......I said 'No need I trust you'.

One of the problems I think is the poorer families don't really know exactly how much money they make in a given year (this is an assumption on my part.....but I don't see her family keeping financial records; it's just day to day living and paying bills if the money is there).

With regards to not letting her know about my income......it is purely a practical matter. I don't think with her level of education and the fact that she is poor she can understand about 'budgets' and 'investing'. From reading TV I get the impression that a lot of Thai people think if you've got a pot of money just reach in and grab and spend with no regards to the future. I like to live a good lifestyle but I make sure my net worth increases each month. That way I can be fairly sure I will always have enough to live out the rest of my life without working again. I retired at 48 so I know a little about money management; I doubt she can understand my conservative nature and how I manage my capital.

She's never done anything in the past to make me question her. It's just that I thought to live in the area of Thailand where she lives it was very cheap.....so I was a little surprised when she gave me the 14,000 baht monthly figure for expenses.

You're right of course.....I have to make up my own mind about her. Sometimes your brain can conjure up all sorts of scenarios....especially when you're 8500 miles away! I hope to be back in Thailand in the near future. My gut instinct tells me everything will be okay with this girl and we'll be together for a long time.

Thanks for the advice.

[bkkmadness]

Totster makes a fair point. Why would you take advice from a bunch of guys on a forum to make a decision about your gf's honesty?

Surely you must know the girl, and if you doubt her, then hardly the best relationship in the world is it?

Ok, on a less harsh/confrontational note, just because the family needs 14000 baht doesn't mean you have to send that much as TokyoT said, they of course have some income themselves and if you feel like sending a little extra then do so.

On the other hand, what is the option if you don't send money to her, will you lose your girlfriend?