Does This Sound Right?

[LoveDaBlues]

On the other hand, what is the option if you don't send money to her, will you lose your girlfriend?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I doubt I would lose her.

But I'll never know because I promised her when I was with her in Thailand that I would send some money each month to 'help out' her family because they are poor. I always keep my word.

[bkkmadness]

Lovedablues, sorry not hounding you, you got your post in before mine.

totster, I really don't question her 'basic' honesty.  I just think it's possible she has 'exaggerated ' slightly with regards to the family bills each month.  If she has I'm sure it is with good intentions......to help her parents.  I really can't get mad with this if indeed it is true......because it's always up to me to decide how much money to give anyway.

Cant argue to much with that can you.

She recently told me she would send me the bills she pays each month to prove the amounts to me......I said 'No need I trust you'.

But to be honest you don't really do you?

  From reading TV I get the impression that a lot of Thai people think if you've got a pot of money just reach in and grab and spend with no regards to the future.

Don't believe all you read on here.

I like to live a good lifestyle but I make sure my net worth increases each month.  That way I can be fairly sure I will always have enough to live out the rest of my life without working again.  I retired at 48 so I know a little about money management; I doubt she can understand my conservative nature and how I manage my capital.

Sound advice, I will need to use it myself, my money management is terrible.

You're right of course.....I have to make up my own mind about her.  Sometimes your brain can conjure up all sorts of scenarios....especially when you're 8500 miles away!

Distance plays nasty trix on the mind doesn't it.

I hope to be back in Thailand in the near future.  My gut instinct tells me everything will be okay with this girl and we'll be together for a long time.

Good luck.

[BambinA]

My Thai GF lives in the Sri Bung Ruang area.  She told me her family's monthly expenses average about 14,000 baht.  Her father pays 4,000 baht a month on a truck payment (used Nissan) and she says it takes another 10,000 baht for food, mobile phones, electricity, water and gas.  They live in an old house which is paid for.  Does this sound about right or is she 'padding' the figures a bit?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

it makes sense mate... in thai 's opinion

bambi

[Totster]

I don't think with her level of education and the fact that she is poor she can understand about 'budgets' and 'investing'. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is utter rubbish....

My wifes education was pretty crap, her childhood years were spent in poverty, I can't even imagine what it was like for her and her family.

My wife is fantastic with regards to looking after our money.. every single baht is accounted for, and to be truthful, without her budgetting and keeping a lid on things I would be lost... all that from someone with her level of education...

And her english... she managed to pretty much teach herself english, and now with a little help from me she speaks the language very well and gets better everyday, I am very proud of her.

Just because someone comes from a background of poverty and did not have the same access to good education as you did, it does not make them unintelligent. In fact she's probably more intelligent than you.

Sorry if I sound a bit harsh ... but your comment above is just .. well... derogatory, not just to your GF but to many Thai's as well.

totster

[bkkmadness]

I don't think with her level of education and the fact that she is poor she can understand about 'budgets' and 'investing'. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is utter rubbish....

My wifes education was pretty crap, her childhood years were spent in poverty, I can't even imagine what it was like for her and her family.

My wife is fantastic with regards to looking after our money.. every single baht is accounted for, and to be truthful, without her budgetting and keeping a lid on things I would be lost... all that from someone with her level of education...

And her english... she managed to pretty much teach herself english, and now with a little help from me she speaks the language very well and gets better everyday, I am very proud of her.

Just because someone comes from a background of poverty and did not have the same access to good education as you did, it does not make them unintelligent. In fact she's probably more intelligent than you.

Sorry if I sound a bit harsh ... but your comment above is just .. well... derogatory, not just to your GF but to many Thai's as well.

totster

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I kinda skipped over that bit of the OP's comments, didn't want to just attack the guy while he is trying to sort out his situation in a reasonable way, but it has to be said there is something about people living in a poor country which often makes them budget and invest better that us. Not all people are poor because they don't know how to invest and budget, many are poor because they have no money to invest and budget with in the first place. Don't believe all the c.rap you read on tv about uneducated girls.

[Totster]

I don't think with her level of education and the fact that she is poor she can understand about 'budgets' and 'investing'. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is utter rubbish....

My wifes education was pretty crap, her childhood years were spent in poverty, I can't even imagine what it was like for her and her family.

My wife is fantastic with regards to looking after our money.. every single baht is accounted for, and to be truthful, without her budgetting and keeping a lid on things I would be lost... all that from someone with her level of education...

And her english... she managed to pretty much teach herself english, and now with a little help from me she speaks the language very well and gets better everyday, I am very proud of her.

Just because someone comes from a background of poverty and did not have the same access to good education as you did, it does not make them unintelligent. In fact she's probably more intelligent than you.

Sorry if I sound a bit harsh ... but your comment above is just .. well... derogatory, not just to your GF but to many Thai's as well.

totster

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I kinda skipped over that bit of the OP's comments, didn't want to just attack the guy while he is trying to sort out his situation in a reasonable way, but it has to be said there is something about people living in a poor country which often makes them budget and invest better that us. Not all people are poor because they don't know how to invest and budget, many are poor because they have no money to invest and budget with in the first place. Don't believe all the c.rap you read on tv about uneducated girls.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I know... I should have left it... couldn't help myself.. and you are right LoveDaBlues is just trying to reslove some issues.. but now he's got something else to think about with it.

LoveDaBlues - no hard feelings, I'm not having a go on purpose, but I feel you had to be "educated"

totster

[LoveDaBlues]

I don't think with her level of education and the fact that she is poor she can understand about 'budgets' and 'investing'. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just because someone comes from a background of poverty and did not have the same access to good education as you did, it does not make them unintelligent. In fact she's probably more intelligent than you.

totster

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Totster, please re-read my post. Where did I say she was unintelligent? AT THIS STAGE IN HER LIFE I stand by what I said. I think she can be educated to understand how I invest but right now she just would not get it. Does not mean she is stupid......in fact I think she is smart. She has basically taught herself to read/write/speak English. Although not perfect better than 95% of the Thai girls I met. I will put her through an English class once I get back to LOS. I would like her to understand the mechanics of the language better and to become fluent/nearly fluent. I think this can help her later in her life.

It's very possible she has a higher IQ than I do. Would not surprise me at all. Looks like your wife has her act together and keeps you in line pretty well

I don't let words (harsh or not) bother me too much. No hard feelings.....

[BambinA]

I doubt I would lose her.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

baby,,,are u serious??

Love Don't Cost a Thing

Bambi

[Totster]

I don't think with her level of education and the fact that she is poor she can understand about 'budgets' and 'investing'. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just because someone comes from a background of poverty and did not have the same access to good education as you did, it does not make them unintelligent. In fact she's probably more intelligent than you.

totster

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Totster, please re-read my post. Where did I say she was unintelligent? AT THIS STAGE IN HER LIFE I stand by what I said. I think she can be educated to understand how I invest but right now she just would not get it. Does not mean she is stupid......in fact I think she is smart. She has basically taught herself to read/write/speak English. Although not perfect better than 95% of the Thai girls I met. I will put her through an English class once I get back to LOS. I would like her to understand the mechanics of the language better and to become fluent/nearly fluent. I think this can help her later in her life.

It's very possible she has a higher IQ than I do. Would not surprise me at all. Looks like your wife has her act together and keeps you in line pretty well

I don't let words (harsh or not) bother me too much. No hard feelings.....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hmm alright then... just couldn't stop me fingers before...

Your right, my wife does keep me in line, even when we are 6000 miles apart, but I need it.. ... and I'm sure she is more intelligent than me, although I'd never admit that to her..

With regards to the monthly amount, I think you already knew what you need to know before you posted, my advice, go with the gut feeling, it's mostly right.

Good Luck anyway..

totster

[udon]

Hi LoveDaBlues,

you mentioned 14000 a month.

Where did that money come from before your TGF met you?

Edited July 11, 2005 by udon

[LoveDaBlues]

udon, the same place it comes from now.....they work 7 days a week (if it's not raining). I never planned on 'supporting' the whole family....just wanted them to have some 'extra' cash so they could enjoy a few nicer things....maybe have a nest egg for an emergency.

[udon]

Fair enough, but I'm a tight bastard and would have thought 6000 pm would be sufficient to improve an Isaan family's life.

[LoveDaBlues]

Actually, it's strange you should mention 6000. That's the exact figure I have decided on 'donating' to the parents once I am living with my GF in Thailand. Does that strange helmet give you mind-reading powers?

Guess that makes me a tight bastich too.......

Edited July 11, 2005 by LoveDaBlues

[Moo Dohn]

When I first met this girl I asked her why she would want to be with me as I'm 48 and she is 25.  Her reply, 'because with you I can live a better life and you can help my family'.  She didn't give me the standard 'because you such handsome man' crap.  She's either extremely honest or playing me like a violin.  Do I hear music......?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well there you have your answer. And this is pretty typical. Now what you must ask yourself is what happens to the relationship if you STOP giving the support. If you are going to stay involved with a girl from Isaan, you are going to have to help out the family. It's a package deal I'm afraid. As far as the amount goes, I think it's pretty fair, considering the number of people in the household, etc. Best of luck!

[LoveDaBlues]

Yea, I knew going in I would be expected to help the family. This was discussed with the GF before I left Thailand. I just want the amount to be large enough to buy some nice 'extras' but not so much as to kill the incentive for them to continue to work.

[udon]

Actually, it's strange you should mention 6000.  That's the exact figure I have decided on 'donating' to the parents once I am living with my GF in Thailand.  Does that strange helmet give you mind-reading powers?

Guess that makes me a tight bastich too.......

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes, Pomelos are great for that, esp for a 'short time'.

and yes to the other

[LoveDaBlues]

From one tight bastich to another.........lol

It's only a rumor that I have the first nickel I ever made.

Actually it was a buffalo nickel and I squeezed it so hard it sh1t pennies....I've got those too!!!!

[Wee Jimmy]

I don't think with her level of education and the fact that she is poor she can understand about 'budgets' and 'investing'. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is utter rubbish....

My wifes education was pretty crap, her childhood years were spent in poverty, I can't even imagine what it was like for her and her family.

My wife is fantastic with regards to looking after our money.. every single baht is accounted for, and to be truthful, without her budgetting and keeping a lid on things I would be lost... all that from someone with her level of education...

And her english... she managed to pretty much teach herself english, and now with a little help from me she speaks the language very well and gets better everyday, I am very proud of her.

Well sai. I'm of the same opinion as you. My wife and yours are very alike.

Just because someone comes from a background of poverty and did not have the same access to good education as you did, it does not make them unintelligent. In fact she's probably more intelligent than you.

Sorry if I sound a bit harsh ... but your comment above is just .. well... derogatory, not just to your GF but to many Thai's as well.

totster

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[aletta]

A good education is not necessary to be able to handle and manage money.

[chico]

Yea, I knew going in I would be expected to help the family.  This was discussed with the GF before I left Thailand.  I just want the amount to be large enough to buy some nice 'extras' but not so much as to kill the incentive for them to continue to work.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

reading your posts, you sound as you know right to the point what you want to do!

Collecting some info or 'help' from others does nothing wrong per se, as long as you just look at is as info, but still keep on going your way.

there is no other relationship which equals yours, and all comments or advices just reflect the other persons situation and thinking, but really have nothing to do with you.

and yes, people in Isaan are poor, and there is nothing wrong with helping them -

I like pnustedts input about buying land, machines, to make them independent - it's working out perfectly for me too!

and about Lampard's loan - that's the other way I am helping - lending them money to pay back the loansharks (5% pm) and paying me back however and much they can - I have time !

[LoveDaBlues]

chico - thanks for the reply. Yea, I pretty much know the direction to head on my own....it's just that I like to get input to help in the decision making process. If my relationship with the GF works out over a reasonable amount of time (say another 6months - year) I would like to set up a business for her and her family to have so they can be self-reliant. I could be run over by a rabid water buffalo and I want to make sure they have a means to a better life.

[udon]

chico - thanks for the reply.  Yea, I pretty much know the direction to head on my own....it's just that I like to get input to help in the decision making process.  If my relationship with the GF works out over a reasonable amount of time (say another 6months - year) I would like to set up a business for her and her family to have so they can be self-reliant.  I could be run over by a rabid water buffalo and I want to make sure they have a means to a better life.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Don't make any serious commitment in less than a year, if it's going go tits-up you should know something in that time frame.

Just my 2 cents

[deepdiver]

I paid cash for my sister-in laws pick up, and they pay me back 8,000 a month over six years. I charge them 2.4% per annum, which covers the interest I would have got. As second hand cars do not lose much value, I would think it's an old banger for that repayment, and the maintainance costs would be high. They must be fairly honest though if they only gave you a small figure like that for HP re-payments.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

and how much you give your wife annualy ??

[aletta]

The car repayments may be low but the interest,if from a shark,can be sky high.

[Totster]

The car repayments may be low but the interest,if from a shark,can be sky high.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree... get one from a Tuna instead.. much better rates..

totster

[LoveDaBlues]

I've heard the flounder even beats the tuna!

[sendbaht]

"Hi LoveDaBlues,

you mentioned 14000 a month.

Where did that money come from before your TGF met you?"

That's a good point Udon.....

[LoveDaBlues]

sendbaht - see post #41 this thread.

[Ron]

lucky for me my wife was the black sheep run-away in a large Chinese/Khmer family that are dirt poor, and they hate her because now she refuses them even 5 baht considering all the things they did to her, like beatings, stealing and not giving her any education, or even clothing. Now she has returned with her fat American oldman, and she never speaks to them. By the way, everybodies situation is very different, but we live in a semi-falang style for under 10k a month most months but not all with satillite TV and there are three of us and a few assorted sisters that help me out a lot. My advice to that man is better to send the money for awhile then go there and take a look at what goes down on a daily basis. Maybe you'll even met your gf's husband! We live in lower Isan in a Khmer village directly on the border. This is Thailand, you know, so we can't use our Western middle class values here at all. Most Isan people love a party on other's cash also just about everyday!

[LoveDaBlues]

I've been to the village. Never met her ex-husband....she's divorced from a bad marriage to a Thai.