Friends & In-Laws

[mallyrd]

A few weeks ago someone started a topic that went something like "You know you've been in Thailand too long if....". The OP then listed out several events all of which my wife and I found quite amusing. It seemed to us that a person who would go to the trouble of listing all of these things must have been badly bitten on more than one occasion.

I have a story to tell but before I do here is some basic background on my wife and I;

1. I first met the lady who is now my wife just over 23 years ago

2. We have been married for 18 years

3. For the last six years my wife has travelled with me for my work - Abu Dhabi, Kuwait, Dubai, Qatar and Malaysia

4. We (and I mean we) own a modest two bed, two bathroom bungalow (170 square metres living area) with an additional covered area of 70 square metres (50% parking and the rest garden)

5. Most of my friends are friends of my wife

6. My in-laws are always welcome but they know when its time to leave (my wife sees to that)

7. We give my mother in-law THB 5,000 a month and not a baht to any other family members (except children)

Now then;

This year has been a bad year. In March one of my brother in-laws died of cancer of the liver. Devastation all round. Family and friends from BKK, Phattulung, Sungai Kholock (excuse spelling) descended on our home town with many of them bunking down at our place.

In July a second brother in-law died of gun shot wounds, he was a policeman but off duty at the time. Believe me when I say this death caused even more devastation and more family and friends to descend on the home town and our bungalow. This time I had up to 9 people sleeping over, usually 4 or 5 in the kitchen diner (the men and boys) and 4 or 5 in the second bedroom (women and girls). For those that could not be accommodated at our place then a couple of cheapo apartments were rented for several days.

Two weeks ago my mother in-law popped into the bungalow (as is her want) and came into the lounge and sat down at the end of the settee closest to where I was sitting in my lazy boy. My wife also came and sat down. Mother (as I call her) produced an envelope then gave me a humongous wai and gave me the envelope. There was THB 10,000 in it. This was her way of saying thank you for all the help and support during the last few months. My wife was more gobsmacked than I was.

Just for clarity, the two cremations and associated costs were all paid for by donations, my wife and were not out of pocket.

So, after more than 23 years I believe (and always have believed) that my wifes friends and family not only like me but love me as well.

[kohkoh]

my wifes friends and family not only like me but love me as well

i like the end

[Lumumba]

Yo' mate, ya wifey got much younger sisters left?

[Peterbigeyes]

Cool story bro

[Piengrudee]

[simon43]

If you don't need the 10,000 baht can I have it please?

Simon

[mallyrd]

my wifes friends and family not only like me but love me as well

i like the end

I trust that you are not taking the p-ss?

[mallyrd]

Yo' mate, ya wifey got much younger sisters left?

My wife had 4 brothers, 2 gone 2 left.

[alfieconn]

Yo' mate, ya wifey got much younger sisters left?

I'm not worried about the sisters, how about me and the MIL

[mca]

A heartwarming tale mallyrd but isn't it a sad state of affairs ( and please there's no disrespect intended here at all) that a story such as yours, which should be commonplace and normal, is worthy of being posted as an example of a good family and marriage.

Edited August 27, 2010 by mca

[mallyrd]

A heartwarming tale mallyrd but isn't it a sad state of affairs ( and please there's no disrespect intended here at all) that a story such as yours, which should be commonplace and normal, is worthy of being posted as an example of a good family and marriage.

Seeing something on the forum that generally gives credit to Thai people is about as rare as "rocking horse sh-t". For this reason I thought my own personal experience is a good example of the good that exists within Thai/Expat family ties.

[mca]

My hats off to you.

[Pacificperson]

I'd say that you are a lucky man, but often one make his own luck. Congratulations!

[F1fanatic]

The story makes no sense

OK the wife's parents gave you 2 months of the monthly amount you'd been giving them for 18 years, without ever feeling the need to give you a 'rebate' previously

I've no doubt this makes them FAR better than the average in-laws, but its not exactly incredibly generous behaviour.

Edited August 27, 2010 by F1fanatic

[Forethat]

Yo' mate, ya wifey got much younger sisters left?

I'm not worried about the sisters, how about me and the MIL

I thought it was spelled M-I-L-F..? Yes?

[mallyrd]

The story makes no sense

OK the wife's parents gave you 2 months of the monthly amount you'd been giving them for 18 years, without ever feeling the need to give you a 'rebate' previously

I've no doubt this makes them FAR better than the average in-laws, but its not exactly incredibly generous behaviour.

This story is not about credits and rebates. It is exactly people like you that can only find fault with expats or others who happen to have had a good experience living in Thailand. I guess you have been ripped off so may times that you are full of angst.

[F1fanatic]

The story makes no sense

OK the wife's parents gave you 2 months of the monthly amount you'd been giving them for 18 years, without ever feeling the need to give you a 'rebate' previously

I've no doubt this makes them FAR better than the average in-laws, but its not exactly incredibly generous behaviour.

This story is not about credits and rebates. It is exactly people like you that can only find fault with expats or others who happen to have had a good experience living in Thailand. I guess you have been ripped off so may times that you are full of angst.

Quite right. As I pointed out before, your in-laws gave you precisely 2 months of the amount you'd been giving them each month for 18 years .

YOU were the one trying to point this out as something incredibly generous and wonderful - I'm merely pointing out its nothing of the sort. SO, according to you, I must be full of angst and ripped off many times for pointing out the blindingly obvious .

[Forethat]

The story makes no sense

OK the wife's parents gave you 2 months of the monthly amount you'd been giving them for 18 years, without ever feeling the need to give you a 'rebate' previously

I've no doubt this makes them FAR better than the average in-laws, but its not exactly incredibly generous behaviour.

This story is not about credits and rebates. It is exactly people like you that can only find fault with expats or others who happen to have had a good experience living in Thailand. I guess you have been ripped off so may times that you are full of angst.

Trust me, dont even try to explain. Just enjoy your situation.

BTW, thanks for sharing - I totally understand!

[lovelomsak]

This was well worth reading. When I read it I got the feeling that your mother in law and family not only like you but respect the effort you make as a family member and recognise the sacrifices you made and wish to acknowledge it. To quote an old saying "it is not the gift that counts but the thought behind it",

[F1fanatic]

Its heartwarming to read posters encouraging the OP in believing this was an incredibly generous gift.

[mallyrd]

Its heartwarming to read posters encouraging the OP in believing this was an incredibly generous gift.

I guess this just about sums you up;

Cynical - 3. harming other people to get an advantage. willing to let other people be harmed so that you can get an advantage

[MSingh]

Lovely story but one Swallow.........................

[Thakkar]

Congratulations to the OP for well and truly being a part of a family.

This is what families do, they look out for each other and are there for each other in times of need.

[TAWP]

Good story - there are many dec3ent people out there.

If you don't need the 10,000 baht can I have it please?

I second that question...

[surayu]

Mallyrd surely you are a very generous man and that's a nice thing nowadays, you have taken your loved one with you around the world, probably you have build up your home with the money YOU earned and allowed her family & friends to have some good time at your expenses, they just come and occupy your whole house and you also pay 5000 to your mother in law every month, i am sure we will ALL be "loved & liked" by whoever as long as we can all provide the same privileges to them, there are a few things you can experiment to see if the "love" is real or they are just taking advantages of you, try to stop giving away your free money and also make sure you can receive the same things you are giving them when they are your guest, if they are "unwilling" perhaps there is something more to it, anyway, if you are happy with your personal situation and don't mind if they are really being honest toward you or not, might be better to just stick to this for obvious reasons, good luck to you :jap:

[chantorn]

I am touched.

[surayu]

I am touched.

if they touch you then you must to be handsome

[mallyrd]

Lovely story but one Swallow.........................

Please elaborate.

[473geo]

The ability of some posters to turn a precious moment into a negative is beyond belief!!!......sad people!!!!.........I can only guess one has to experience such close family affection to fully understand the true message in this story. This sincere gesture of thanks and display of appreciation/affection to the Op from his mother-in-law is extremely meaningful for him........there are people here who need to learn one simple fact in life...........you earn respect........you earn it by your actions....by your whole attitude to your extended family....make no mistake they see you for what you are.

For the ignorant among you, try to understand that that any monthly sum will simply not cut it......this is about giving emotional and unconditional support to your family when it is required, the story is about earning respect by personal unselfish actions, but more importantly without major effort, other than just being you............some people have this ability......many don't!!

[spud1]

The ability of some posters to turn a precious moment into a negative is beyond belief!!!......sad people!!!!.........I can only guess one has to experience such close family affection to fully understand the true message in this story. This sincere gesture of thanks and display of appreciation/affection to the Op from his mother-in-law is extremely meaningful for him........there are people here who need to learn one simple fact in life...........you earn respect........you earn it by your actions....by your whole attitude to your extended family....make no mistake they see you for what you are.

For the ignorant among you, try to understand that that any monthly sum will simply not cut it......this is about giving emotional and unconditional support to your family when it is required, the story is about earning respect by personal unselfish actions, but more importantly without major effort, other than just being you............some people have this ability......many don't!!

It's took 18 years and a small fortune for the family of the OP to return some generosity.Hardly worth shouting from the rooftops about.