A Little Thread About Cats..

[eek]

To kick off...

The Cat's Bill Of rights.

I am the cat, and I have certain inalienable rights.

I have the right to walk over your face anytime I wish, day or night.

I have the right to observe and comment on any and all bathroom behaviour. Further, I have the right to be highly offended by any closed door.

I have the right to smell your shoes to determine if you have been fraternizing or cavorting or frolicking with any highly questionable animals.

I have the right to assist in any food preparation, cooking, cleaning or eating event that may occur in the home.

I have the right to wake you at three in the morning if I find my food dish is not to my satisfaction.

I have the right to tip over any water container I deem unsuitable for consumption.

I have the right to curse at squirrels and birds that may dare to pass my windows.

I have the right to inspect any grocery items that come into the home. Further, I have the right to inhabit any paper bag or cardboard box that you bring home for as long as I wish.

I have the right to nap at any time and place I darn well please, without the distraction of being called or moved just because you want to sit down, wash your hands or use your computer keyboard.

I have the right to sleep on top of any appliance that is warm.

I have the right to assist in any changing of bed linens and to chase the phantom creatures that hide beneath the sheets.

I have the right to look aloof when scolded for mistaking your toes for one of those pesky phantom creatures that hide beneath the sheets.

I have the right to kill paper-towel rolls that otherwise might sneak up on you at night.

I have the right to your complete attention anytime you sit down to read or work.

And, finally, I have the right to be loved, petted, pampered and entertained, for, as you know, the best things in life... purr.

And, should you err in your ways, I will graciously forgive. After all, you are only human, but I love you anyway.

Signed,

The Cat.

source: Chicken Soup for the Soul Loving Our Cats. By: Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen.

[thequaife]

I love cat's meat. Specially live cat and place them in microwave. Wave them a live.

Come to my home and i'll let my dog have you.

cat = dam_n stupid animal.

[eek]

Right, thanks for your garbled utterly nonconstructive rant post. Do you feel better now?

[thequaife]

Right, thanks for your garbled utterly nonconstructive rant post. Do you feel better now?

I am so sorry Eek. My neighbour's cat keep on Shi#@ng at my home. It so stinks.

Apologize for ruining your nice threads. But i can't help it to kill another car when it enters my home.

Love them cat untill they SH!t at my lawn.

[Patsycat]

All boxes ticked in this household!!

Thanks for that, Eek!!

[Thules]

My cat's English comprehension is improving as long as I couple it with Thai tones....

His favourate words are:

his name (falling)

Foood (falling)

Fish (high)

Least favourates are:

Out (high)

Off (high)

Eh ! (low)

He also believes he has the right to the majority of my cheese (and the stinkier the better as far as he's concerned )

[Peterbigeyes]

Awww.. that is sweet

[Patsycat]

Right, sweet.

When the wee rascal tries to drag a pigeon through the cat flap

or

Half dead vermin, which i threw outside, to be returned half an hour later.

or

When you are a bit tipsy and go to bed, to be walked over just on the "tickly spot" of your side.

or

how can a cat in Switzerland find a lizard in January?

But then,

When Jimmy disappeared a few years ago to reappear 8 months later the joy on my face was one to see!!!

I guess we just have to put up with it...

[msg362]

I love cat's meat. Specially live cat and place them in microwave. Wave them a live.

Come to my home and i'll let my dog have you.

cat = dam_n stupid animal.

I think I've just about understood some of what you are saying. You like to eat cat food ( cat's meat), you like to wave at cats but i'm not sure what with but I think it's a live something or other! !

[Tywais]

I love cat's meat. Specially live cat and place them in microwave. Wave them a live.

Come to my home and i'll let my dog have you.

cat = dam_n stupid animal.

Suspect a cat could write a more intelligent post then the above.

[Tywais]

Didn't see anything in the list about "clingy" I like cats but can't be around them for too long, especially long hairs, as my body objects. You know, itching skin, watery eyes, scratchy throat, etc. Still, I can't seem to resist petting any that gets near me. That usually brings the clingy part into play as they won't let me go and weave in and out between my feet endangering them and me.

Especially for eek - eek in the morning.

http://il.youtube.com/watch?v=pDfjjNjkVD4

[Tywais]

A little cat humor.

http://il.youtube.com/watch?v=nTasT5h0LEg

[eek]

Haha..thanks Tywais!

[Crossy]

Not new, but it always makes me smile:-

Comparison of a Dog's and a Cat's Diary

1 Excerpts From A Dog's Diary

Day number 181

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

2 Excerpts From A Cat's Diary

Day 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Day 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured.

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

Source Unknown

[Patsycat]

I still don't understand how jimmijoe found a lizard in the middle of the winter in Switzerland.

I had to get rid of it.

Crossy, they move in and they stay.

And we put up with them and love them. And in their funny feline ways, they love us back. I love purrs.

[Crossy]

And we put up with them and love them. And in their funny feline ways, they love us back. I love purrs.

IIRC the Tiger is the only Big Cat that purrs. The one I got close to at a tiger temple sounded like a freight train.

A really big purr for Patsy

[Patsycat]

That place is on my list for a visit the next time I am in Thailand.

[sbk]

[Sheryl]

Love it!

A few additional rights the Cat who owns me has :

- the right to wake me up at 3 or 4 AM becase she is bored and wants to be played with. (That I have never, ever gotten up at that hour played with her has no deterrent effect)

- the right to wake me up at 5 AM or 6 AM (especially on weekends) to ask to go outside.

- the right to have doors opened and closed for her on demand, 24/7

- the right to be helped down from any high place she has gone up to without bothering to think first about how she'll get down. Including places I can't reach and must stand uncomfortably extending a ladder up until Her Highness deigns to walk down it.

- the right to meow loudly into my ear if I am so impudent as to be asleep when service is desired

- the right to receive periodic treats of exactly the type she fancies, in addition to unlimited amounts of the regular food of her choice

And, of course, the right to terrorize the dog(s).

it's all fine with me, of course, because she is PURR-fect!!

[sbk]

[Patsycat]

Mine does that when I open the door for him to go out. Usually during a crucial moment in a movie!!

[Patsycat]

[sbk]

What your cat may be doing while you are gone

[Thules]

Brillaint Pussycat & sbk :) Thanks for sharing.

[sbk]

Just thought it fit in with Patsy's video nicely

And in a similar vein

[sbk]

This one just gave me a smile

[sbk]

I can't help myself, every time I see a funny cat pic, I think of this thread