An Irish Joke...or Three

[EastSaxCol]

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle

They head to the bird

section and Gerry says to Paddy,

Dat's dem."

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

"Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies

in dat cage up dere," says Gerry.

The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag.

Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds,

leave the shop and get into

Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.

At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000' foot drop

and says;

"Dis looks like a grand place."

He takes two birds out of the bag,

puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as Gerry falls all the way to the bottom,

killing himself stone dead.

Looking down at the remains of his best pal,

Paddy shakes his head and says,

"<deleted> dat. Dis budgie jumping is too <deleted>'n dangerous for me!"

THERE'S MORE

The next minute, Seamus pulls up in his truck at Connor Pass.

He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff

carrying another paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

"Hi, Paddy. Watch dis," Seamus says. He takes a parrot from the bag

and throws himself over the edge of the cliff.

Paddy watches as half way down,

Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.

Seamus continues to plummet down and down

until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone

in his body.

Paddy shakes his head and says," And I'm never trying dat

parrotshooting either!"

TIS NOT OVER YET:

Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends

when Sean Og appears.

He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a paper bag

out of which he pulls a chicken.

Sean Og then hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and

down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.

Once more Paddy shakes his head.

"<deleted> dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping,

den Seamus parrotshooting

and now Sean Og and his <deleted>'n hengliding!"

Edited July 26, 2005 by Happy Hammer