Useful Quotes For Daily Life

[johntou]

Think, then post

Think twice, then don't post

SC

Done that several times...

[Hawkup2000]

"You don't have to be good to succeed. You just gotta be the least shitty option. Example: We're eating at Sunrise tacos."

[seedy]

By three methods we may learn wisdom:

First, by reflection, which is noblest;

Second, by imitation, which is easiest;

Third by experience, which is the bitterest.

Confucius

[Antathome]

How about, "I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up!"

[Gladiator]

Paraprosdokian - speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase

is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous

dramatic effect.

Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Ø If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

Ø War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire

Ø I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paycheques.

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR."

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hel_l in such a way that you will look forward to the trip

Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Ø I always take life with a grain of salt... plus a slice of lemon... and a shot of tequila.

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Ø If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

[whybother]

There are two things to worry about: Things you can do something about, and things you can't do anything about.

If you can do something about it, then there is no reason to worry.

If you can't do anything about it, then there is no point in worrying.

Don't worry.

[domprz]

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't.

[MAJIC]

Never run after a woman or a Bus,there will be another one along shortly.

Don't be a Prat all your life,have a day off once in a while.

Your good name is your Passport in life.

[Thaddeus]

Life without you is like a broken pencil..... pointless.

Edmund Blackadder

[deejah]

THESE ARE PRICELESS!!!

cheers

Paraprosdokian - speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase

is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous

dramatic effect.

Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Ø If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

Ø War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire

Ø I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paycheques.

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR."

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hel_l in such a way that you will look forward to the trip

Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Ø I always take life with a grain of salt... plus a slice of lemon... and a shot of tequila.

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Ø If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

[bkkjames]

Confusedus said, "Man who makes love near graveyard is f***ing near dead." "Man and mouse alike - both end up in Pu**y"

[Stan42]

My favorite quote has always been

"If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the night sky that would be like the splendor of the Mighty One... I am become Death, the Shatterer of Worlds."

That's Oppenheimer misquoting the Bhagavad Gita... Though, this isn't really a useful everyday quote. A more suitable one woulde be from Charles Dederich: "Today is the first day of the rest of your life."

Then there's this really good quote by a really smart fellow... me: "You have a one in seven chance of dying on a Saturday."

I doubt my name will ever appear in a book of quotes though.

[phaethon]

Proprium humani ingenii est odisse quem laeseris

[StreetCowboy]

Wash your boots, then your hands.

Pay attention, or you'll wash the wrong boots

(that's avoiding-fighting-talk, where I come from)

Do you think you're as stupid as I look?

(should give you time for a sharp exit...)

SC

"...but I shall be sober in the morning"

Hope springs eternal!

Speculation!

SC