The Onion

[drummer]

WILKES-BARRE, PA–Joan Pavlik, a 49-year-old Wilkes-Barre dental hygienist, is "completely in love with Brazil," despite the fact that she has only seen four square miles of land surrounding the Sol Rio Internacional Resort near Rio de Janeiro."

Brazil is just the most incredible country," Pavlik told friends Monday over lunch at Olive Garden. "The mountains, the beaches, the rainforest: It's like heaven on Earth."

Pavlik became captivated by the South American nation in early March, when she and husband Lou spent seven days at the Sol Rio resort in celebration of their 20th wedding anniversary.

"The Brazilian people are so warm and friendly," Pavlik said, "and almost all of them know how to speak English."

The Sol Rio resort, which offers 12 tennis courts, three 18-hole golf courses, an Olympic-sized indoor pool, and several authentic Brazilian-style restaurants, is located along a secluded stretch of beach 20 miles south of Rio de Janeiro. Except for the air-conditioned charter bus ride to and from the airport, Pavlik did not venture more than 5,011 feet from her "Iguaçu Suite" overlooking the sea.  ....

http://www.theonion.com/travel/travel_womanwho.html