Wife

[travelmann]

Bring her over to the U.K. to join the growing number of thai ladies already here. Here you can keep an eye on her just in case she goes back to her old ways. (Not saying she would)

Then help her find work in a Thai resturant or some other type of work she can do.

Best of both world your mrs is with you in the U.K. and she will earn you a couple of quid for a pint Until you get back in work..

Good luck

Jam1e

I wouldnt bank on any work in the Uk for quite a while in the constrcution industry.

[EvilDrSomkid]

I had girlfreinds in my western past that I knew i couldnt ever marry, just something at the back of my head telling me this. they were great girlfriends at the time though and I was happy to know them, but could never of married any of them. when I met my Thai wife, it was a completly diferent feeling after a while of course. and I know deep in my heart I can trust her with everything, she backs me up 100% all of the time because I do the same for her. now after 8 years together and 5 years of marriage with a two year old, I feel this even more, it gets stronger as we go along.

It doesnt matter if your wife was a bar girl or a doctor when you met her! what matters is, if you dont trust her <deleted> did you get married in the first place?

I do trust her from my heart but my head is in a spin, i get married come home to no job, she is my wife i should be able to care for her, and i married cuz i love her and vise versa, and i hope that we to can have a long happy marriage likes yours.

Dude, what did you mean with going back to her old ways? A few have asked already.

How long have you known her? How long have you actually been together?

[payneo]

I had girlfreinds in my western past that I knew i couldnt ever marry, just something at the back of my head telling me this. they were great girlfriends at the time though and I was happy to know them, but could never of married any of them. when I met my Thai wife, it was a completly diferent feeling after a while of course. and I know deep in my heart I can trust her with everything, she backs me up 100% all of the time because I do the same for her. now after 8 years together and 5 years of marriage with a two year old, I feel this even more, it gets stronger as we go along.

It doesnt matter if your wife was a bar girl or a doctor when you met her! what matters is, if you dont trust her <deleted> did you get married in the first place?

I do trust her from my heart but my head is in a spin, i get married come home to no job, she is my wife i should be able to care for her, and i married cuz i love her and vise versa, and i hope that we to can have a long happy marriage likes yours.

Dude, what did you mean with going back to her old ways? A few have asked already.

How long have you known her? How long have you actually been together?

I have been with her for 12 months, yes she worked in bar, i have been back to thai 3 times in that period to be with her, all good no trouble, spend all time with her, she 33yrs old i am 45, we spoke about marriage becouse we get on so good with each other never a dull moment, not like here in uk, i have friends and family both thai and english who no my wife they all say she is nice girl, her english is very good sometimes better than mine lol, on this trip we got married stayed in village for 2 weeks i met all the family who excepted me instantly no cold shoulders, her parents understand i am not rich man and told me to not spend money to much even tho i bought them hot water tank mama some earrings and papa a nice watch, they done us nice party which i offered to pay for but they declined my offer every day had food in relatives house or drunk whisky with cuzins ect, my time there was brill and i was sorry to leave, ........ i trust my wife but like my post says i worry for the lack of work and money at this time. as we no in thai money speaks, but surely love has got to overwhelm this. like my wife says to me if i did not love you i would not marry you, but my heads in a whirl pool of thoughts at this time, purely through lack of work and not being able to care for her like i normally do.

[scorecard]

IMHO Thai ladies view sex in an entirely different way to us from the west.

As one Thai lady said to me, I eat, I drink, I sleep and I have sex. If my husband is around when I want sex, I have sex with him, if he isn't around, pretty much anyone else will do.

Mostly they don't understand our views on monogamy, if you want her to only have sex with you .... best to keep with her.

Once I met a Thai lady that managed to hold out for over 2 weeks when her husband was away, she was unusual.

Just my opinion, your wife may be different, but if she isn't, that doesn't mean she doesn't love you.

About 10% of this post has any credibility!

[scorecard]

What 'methods' have you used to try to find more back back home?

To get to the bottom line (and I must add that I know nothng about employment / finding employemnt in your industry):

- Have you checked newspapers?

- Or have you tried some networking with old work collleagues, old employers, companies who are known to have recently won construction contracts, etc?

[Birdman]

he believes what they tell him, 'cause he don't know more.

[nellyp]

I'm not being funny but you have not been looking for a job very long, give yourself some time. If your wife works in a restaraunt she won't earn a lot but enough to support yerself thai style. if you are worrying this soon after leaving her in Thailand you need to get her to the UK, you may find that she finds work quicker than you. if you do that and she does get a job you could take a less well paid job, but with her income as well would be ok on the income front. You may even be able to claim some support off the government. if I were you i would trust her for a while before panicing, if you love her give her some trust. You are married, you must have some trust or you should not have gotten married

[payneo]

I'm not being funny but you have not been looking for a job very long, give yourself some time. If your wife works in a restaraunt she won't earn a lot but enough to support yerself thai style. if you are worrying this soon after leaving her in Thailand you need to get her to the UK, you may find that she finds work quicker than you. if you do that and she does get a job you could take a less well paid job, but with her income as well would be ok on the income front. You may even be able to claim some support off the government. if I were you i would trust her for a while before panicing, if you love her give her some trust. You are married, you must have some trust or you should not have gotten married

Thank you ....nellyp.. one of the best replys, yes i do trust and love her i know im in panic mode at moment, but it was a shock to come to no job after haveing such a wonderfull time with my new wife and family and friends,to get her to uk i need to work so im hopeing that work will come my way soon im doing all the right things i.e papers net friends old firms, thanks again.

[F1fanatic]

I had girlfreinds in my western past that I knew i couldnt ever marry, just something at the back of my head telling me this. they were great girlfriends at the time though and I was happy to know them, but could never of married any of them. when I met my Thai wife, it was a completly diferent feeling after a while of course. and I know deep in my heart I can trust her with everything, she backs me up 100% all of the time because I do the same for her. now after 8 years together and 5 years of marriage with a two year old, I feel this even more, it gets stronger as we go along.

It doesnt matter if your wife was a bar girl or a doctor when you met her! what matters is, if you dont trust her <deleted> did you get married in the first place?

I do trust her from my heart but my head is in a spin, i get married come home to no job, she is my wife i should be able to care for her, and i married cuz i love her and vise versa, and i hope that we to can have a long happy marriage likes yours.

Dude, what did you mean with going back to her old ways? A few have asked already.

How long have you known her? How long have you actually been together?

I have been with her for 12 months, yes she worked in bar, i have been back to thai 3 times in that period to be with her, all good no trouble, spend all time with her, she 33yrs old i am 45, we spoke about marriage becouse we get on so good with each other never a dull moment, not like here in uk, i have friends and family both thai and english who no my wife they all say she is nice girl, her english is very good sometimes better than mine lol, on this trip we got married stayed in village for 2 weeks i met all the family who excepted me instantly no cold shoulders, her parents understand i am not rich man and told me to not spend money to much even tho i bought them hot water tank mama some earrings and papa a nice watch, they done us nice party which i offered to pay for but they declined my offer every day had food in relatives house or drunk whisky with cuzins ect, my time there was brill and i was sorry to leave, ........ i trust my wife but like my post says i worry for the lack of work and money at this time. as we no in thai money speaks, but surely love has got to overwhelm this. like my wife says to me if i did not love you i would not marry you, but my heads in a whirl pool of thoughts at this time, purely through lack of work and not being able to care for her like i normally do.

All poor Thais believe all farang are rich - and to be fair, we are in their terms.

Have to assume her family live in Issan and were overjoyed that their (incredibly old )daughter (in their eyes) had brought home a 'wealthy' farang. The daughter would also know that her time left working the bar was limited at 33 years of age.

Thais can be v patient to convince the stupid farang (and make no mistake - that's exactly what many think) that they are part of the family and they have no interest in their money.

This is obviously not always the case, but you may be lucky - especially as your wife is v old in Thai terms. She may well have decided that its far better to settle down with a poor farang (rich in their terms) for the rest of her life.

Don't forget to let us know in about a year's time how things worked out.

[anothertorres]

i really didn't read much of this thread, but i think they should keep the baby. worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

[frankylove]

hey dude sounds like your quite used to being away from her for long periods of time so you must be quite used to it.......

if she is a cheat or has old ways she prob has done it already when you have gone back to england so damage has prob already been done..

best thing is not worry about it if worst comes to worst she will dump you.....if this happens stay positive get a new bird plenty more fish in the sea....

yeah i know she is your wife but best keep most of your finance a secret until you get back with her because the more you say i have no money the more she will lose confidence in you and start looking else where... same with all girls not just thais but the distance dont help as well

good luck to you in this i do hope you do well.. dont read to many horror stories about bargirls you will become paranoid.....

only listen to yourself lots of people will tell you a load of shit keep positive...

[GaryLuumatic]

Sorry op. I think have bad luck for you and her. You can take a pig from the mud but its in nature of pig to get dirty.

[travelmann]

I do trust her from my heart but my head is in a spin, i get married come home to no job, she is my wife i should be able to care for her, and i married cuz i love her and vise versa, and i hope that we to can have a long happy marriage likes yours.

Dude, what did you mean with going back to her old ways? A few have asked already.

How long have you known her? How long have you actually been together?

I have been with her for 12 months, yes she worked in bar, i have been back to thai 3 times in that period to be with her, all good no trouble, spend all time with her, she 33yrs old i am 45, we spoke about marriage becouse we get on so good with each other never a dull moment, not like here in uk, i have friends and family both thai and english who no my wife they all say she is nice girl, her english is very good sometimes better than mine lol, on this trip we got married stayed in village for 2 weeks i met all the family who excepted me instantly no cold shoulders, her parents understand i am not rich man and told me to not spend money to much even tho i bought them hot water tank mama some earrings and papa a nice watch, they done us nice party which i offered to pay for but they declined my offer every day had food in relatives house or drunk whisky with cuzins ect, my time there was brill and i was sorry to leave, ........ i trust my wife but like my post says i worry for the lack of work and money at this time. as we no in thai money speaks, but surely love has got to overwhelm this. like my wife says to me if i did not love you i would not marry you, but my heads in a whirl pool of thoughts at this time, purely through lack of work and not being able to care for her like i normally do.

All poor Thais believe all farang are rich - and to be fair, we are in their terms.

Have to assume her family live in Issan and were overjoyed that their (incredibly old )daughter (in their eyes) had brought home a 'wealthy' farang. The daughter would also know that her time left working the bar was limited at 33 years of age.

Thais can be v patient to convince the stupid farang (and make no mistake - that's exactly what many think) that they are part of the family and they have no interest in their money.

This is obviously not always the case, but you may be lucky - especially as your wife is v old in Thai terms. She may well have decided that its far better to settle down with a poor farang (rich in their terms) for the rest of her life.

Don't forget to let us know in about a year's time how things worked out.

Betting she pops a sprog asap, hook line n sinker.

[rics21]

all the best, mate.

if u got to know her from a bar or some kinda pub providing sexual services to foreign men, u are right to be totally suspicious. it is common in such a situation that one will feel unsafe.

i hope u get the best out of all these shi*.

most thai girls can be trusted, but not most BAR GIRLS.

i know a few farang mates who had wives who used to work in bars, but they are all financially stabled with pensions and savings.

anyway who will get a stripper in vegas as a wife?

[p_brownstone]

At 33 years old she will be well aware that her chances of making money by going back to the Bar will be very limited - lots and lots of younger women getting into the "trade" every day - and if you find out she has, it will destroy the marriage.

If she is sensible - and thinks practically - she will decide that hanging on with you until you are able to sort out your job / financial situation is by far the better prospect for her future.

Patrick

[p_brownstone]

IMHO Thai ladies view sex in an entirely different way to us from the west.

As one Thai lady said to me, I eat, I drink, I sleep and I have sex. If my husband is around when I want sex, I have sex with him, if he isn't around, pretty much anyone else will do.

Mostly they don't understand our views on monogamy, if you want her to only have sex with you .... best to keep with her.

Once I met a Thai lady that managed to hold out for over 2 weeks when her husband was away, she was unusual.

Just my opinion, your wife may be different, but if she isn't, that doesn't mean she doesn't love you.

About 10% of this post has any credibility!

10% at the maximum!

Total tosh really - unless he mixes with very low class people.

Patrick

[samran]

IMHO Thai ladies view sex in an entirely different way to us from the west.

As one Thai lady said to me, I eat, I drink, I sleep and I have sex. If my husband is around when I want sex, I have sex with him, if he isn't around, pretty much anyone else will do.

Mostly they don't understand our views on monogamy, if you want her to only have sex with you .... best to keep with her.

Once I met a Thai lady that managed to hold out for over 2 weeks when her husband was away, she was unusual.

Just my opinion, your wife may be different, but if she isn't, that doesn't mean she doesn't love you.

About 10% of this post has any credibility!

10% at the maximum!

Total tosh really - unless he mixes with very low class people.

Patrick

Lets call a spade a spade. Of course he is hanging with them. Of course he will claim that he isn't - but I guess he doesn't know any better and his experience of Thailand is the people your find employed in, ahem, is a range of "tourist" strips, and perhaps the upcounty bumpkin town his 'friends' comes from.

[payneo]

IMHO Thai ladies view sex in an entirely different way to us from the west.

As one Thai lady said to me, I eat, I drink, I sleep and I have sex. If my husband is around when I want sex, I have sex with him, if he isn't around, pretty much anyone else will do.

Mostly they don't understand our views on monogamy, if you want her to only have sex with you .... best to keep with her.

Once I met a Thai lady that managed to hold out for over 2 weeks when her husband was away, she was unusual.

Just my opinion, your wife may be different, but if she isn't, that doesn't mean she doesn't love you.

About 10% of this post has any credibility!

10% at the maximum!

Total tosh really - unless he mixes with very low class people.

Patrick

Lets call a spade a spade. Of course he is hanging with them. Of course he will claim that he isn't - but I guess he doesn't know any better and his experience of Thailand is the people your find employed in, ahem, is a range of "tourist" strips, and perhaps the upcounty bumpkin town his 'friends' comes from.

<deleted> Samran you no nothing about me or my "friends" i came on here for some good avice or least sum reasurance of my situation, yes im new to thai yes i fell in love yes i got married my choice when i come i dont do the tourist sht i stay wife her i have many thai and english family there, i just worry about my lack of income at present to be able to look after wife.

[onnut]

Lets call a spade a spade. Of course he is hanging with them. Of course he will claim that he isn't - but I guess he doesn't know any better and his experience of Thailand is the people your find employed in, ahem, is a range of "tourist" strips, and perhaps the upcounty bumpkin town his 'friends' comes from.

<deleted> Samran you no nothing about me or my "friends" i came on here for some good avice or least sum reasurance of my situation, yes im new to thai yes i fell in love yes i got married my choice when i come i dont do the tourist sht i stay wife her i have many thai and english family there, i just worry about my lack of income at present to be able to look after wife.

Hold your horses, I think he was refering to Sarahsbloke!

[onnut]

As for construction work, try a Polish accent, never fails.

I like your way of thinking

[dansat]

IMHO Thai ladies view sex in an entirely different way to us from the west.

As one Thai lady said to me, I eat, I drink, I sleep and I have sex. If my husband is around when I want sex, I have sex with him, if he isn't around, pretty much anyone else will do.

Mostly they don't understand our views on monogamy, if you want her to only have sex with you .... best to keep with her.

Once I met a Thai lady that managed to hold out for over 2 weeks when her husband was away, she was unusual.

Just my opinion, your wife may be different, but if she isn't, that doesn't mean she doesn't love you.

About 10% of this post has any credibility!

10% at the maximum!

Total tosh really - unless he mixes with very low class people.

Patrick

Lets call a spade a spade. Of course he is hanging with them. Of course he will claim that he isn't - but I guess he doesn't know any better and his experience of Thailand is the people your find employed in, ahem, is a range of "tourist" strips, and perhaps the upcounty bumpkin town his 'friends' comes from.

Spot on ... Its nothing to do with being poor. Many Thai's who are born poor go on and work hard and make them self have a good life. My advice would not be dont marry a poor girl... There is nothing wrong with thai girls from poor back grounds. Alot of them leave there little villages and go to bangkok and work hard to make a better life for the self .

I would say never ever marry a bar girl. They work in a bar becuase they are to lazy to do any other real job. There only thought is to find a man with money. They will do anything and hurt anyone to get money. Bar girls are bad news and never really change. I wouldnt i wouldnt marry one ever. They are a waste of space outside a bar. Normal Thai people think nothing of them.

Bars should be made to put up warning signs 'Bar girls are for a couple of hours not for a life time'

Bar girls are a insult to Thailand and normal Thai people

But to the OP good luck with your life i hope it works.

[Ulysses G.]

Bar girls are a insult to Thailand and normal Thai people

there is nothing wrong with them. They are part of the culture here and have been for centuries. Just don't fall in love.

[dansat]

Bar girls are a insult to Thailand and normal Thai people

there is nothing wrong with them. They are part of the culture here and have been for centuries. Just don't fall in love.

There is alot wrong with them .. Ask the average Thai what they think of a bar girl. The answer wont be pretty . In Issan maybe its not such a big deal.But i dont know this i have never been to issan nor do i plan going. But other Thai's (I can only speak for Thai's i have spoken with from the South of Thailand and a few Bkk Thai's) In there thoughts Bar girls are the scum of the earth.

[onnut]

Bar girls are a insult to Thailand and normal Thai people

there is nothing wrong with them. They are part of the culture here and have been for centuries. Just don't fall in love.

There is alot wrong with them .. Ask the average Thai what they think of a bar girl. The answer wont be pretty . In Issan maybe its not such a big deal.But i dont know this i have never been to issan nor do i plan going. But other Thai's (I can only speak for Thai's i have spoken with from the South of Thailand and a few Bkk Thai's) In there thoughts Bar girls are the scum of the earth.

Just coz Thais think that doesnt make it right! Thais in General dont like anyone unless they were born next dorr to each other.

[dansat]

Bar girls are a insult to Thailand and normal Thai people

there is nothing wrong with them. They are part of the culture here and have been for centuries. Just don't fall in love.

There is alot wrong with them .. Ask the average Thai what they think of a bar girl. The answer wont be pretty . In Issan maybe its not such a big deal.But i dont know this i have never been to issan nor do i plan going. But other Thai's (I can only speak for Thai's i have spoken with from the South of Thailand and a few Bkk Thai's) In there thoughts Bar girls are the scum of the earth.

Just coz Thais think that doesnt make it right! Thais in General dont like anyone unless they were born next dorr to each other.

I understand where you are coming from, I am not saying everything thai people do or say in Thailand is right. Far from it. But the Thais are right on this one Bar Girls are a insult for Thai people becuase alot of people think ( wrongly) of bar girls/hookers when people say about Thailand. Thais who have traveled around the world know this. Bar girls are the scum of Thai society.

That is why many Thai people in goverment/offical posts will treat these girls like sh*t when they go to these places. Then there bfs come on here moaning about it. Just image how you treat hookers in your own country.... Like sh*t. So i dont know why people are so surprised when normal Thai people treat Thai hookers/bar girls like sh*t here.

It happens all over the world. Hookers are the scum and waste of space for nearly every country. Its the same here... Thai people just cant understand why some Farangs come to Thailand and marry them .. But again if you was in your own country and there was alot of asian guys coming and marrying hookers you would be shocked to. But they dont.

[Forethat]

There is alot wrong with them .. Ask the average Thai what they think of a bar girl. The answer wont be pretty . In Issan maybe its not such a big deal.But i dont know this i have never been to issan nor do i plan going. But other Thai's (I can only speak for Thai's i have spoken with from the South of Thailand and a few Bkk Thai's) In there thoughts Bar girls are the scum of the earth.

Funny you should mention this - in the western world it'll be the customer who's at the receiving end of the stick; that THEY are the scum of the earth.

[CaptainZero]

Just image how you treat hookers in your own country.... Like sh*t.

Maybe you do, but, I would treat them like the human beings that they are.

They are somebodies daughter / sister / mother.

Evan Johns

Edited November 23, 2010 by CaptainZero

[payneo]

Just image how you treat hookers in your own country.... Like sh*t.

Maybe you do, but, I would treat them like the human beings that they are.

They are somebodies daughter / sister / mother.

Evan Johns

some of of these replies are really helpfull and understanding but others kick a man when hes down, i wonder why some people who have replied are even in thailand, i met a girl i fell in love no matter where she from or wat she was i love her, and i married her, no shes not a stunner but in my eyes she is the best, i chose her she chose me knowing i was not a rich man,

[F1fanatic]

Just image how you treat hookers in your own country.... Like sh*t.

Maybe you do, but, I would treat them like the human beings that they are.

They are somebodies daughter / sister / mother.

Evan Johns

Have to agree. Prostitutes in the West are desperate and whilst nobody would actually invite them into their social circle, they have compassion that they have been forced into the 'last resort' to support themselves.

No different here, except that bar girls don't become prostitutes as a 'last resort' - it is an easy way to make far more money than they could in any other job - and they may be lucky enough to find a farang to marry them!

Most will fleece the farang, but others will decide to make the best of marrying a 'wealthy' man by their standards.

It's a lottery, most will lose - but some will win!

[dansat]

Just image how you treat hookers in your own country.... Like sh*t.

Maybe you do, but, I would treat them like the human beings that they are.

They are somebodies daughter / sister / mother.

Evan Johns

some of of these replies are really helpfull and understanding but others kick a man when hes down, i wonder why some people who have replied are even in thailand, i met a girl i fell in love no matter where she from or wat she was i love her, and i married her, no shes not a stunner but in my eyes she is the best, i chose her she chose me knowing i was not a rich man,

I am not trying to kick you when you are down, or anything peronsal agaist you. I do live in Thailand. These Bar girls are bad news. I am willing to guess you have mates from the UK who are also married to ex Bar Girls ? And it is them who are telling you your wife is a good girl. You are so far only married in Thailand. Which means nothing in the UK. My advice would be cut your loses. Come back to Thailand in a year or 2 and meet a normal thai girl not a ex bar girl. I know it sounds harsh and cold by western standards but things arent played out here the same in the west. You have to be more cold and look out for number 1 (yourself) more here.