Winners And Losers

[drronnie]

During this research I also found out what women want in a man. You can forget about looking at that one. Financial security comes in at 8th place. Obviously no women from Thailand were asked. I would buy second or third for the overwhelming majority of TV posters who have hi so wives with big money jobs but not 8th place. Portugal, Ireland, Greece, Spain maybe. But not Thailand.

What woman want in a man or what women SAY they want in a man? I have heard all sorts of women say what they want in a man and to fit that description the only one they should choose would be a flaming gay fruitcake. Of course, that is NOT what they keep choosing. They keep choosing the hunky womanizer and ignore the nice nerdy guy who works hard at his job and tries to be a good man.

That is so true

[F1fanatic]

I see lots of response to what makes a man a loser, but I haven't seen ANY response to what makes a man a winner... and WHY he is a winner. I'd like to see a few definitions of the winners and maybe we can discuss that civilly.

Those who are happy with their lives and women are the winners.

Those who make denigrating comments on happy people certainly aren't winners.

I think the problem is that many people pretending they are happy with their partners in Thailand are nothing of the sort, but they're too ashamed to admit it and instead pretend to everyone around them they're incredibly happy....

[Forethat]

I see lots of response to what makes a man a loser, but I haven't seen ANY response to what makes a man a winner... and WHY he is a winner. I'd like to see a few definitions of the winners and maybe we can discuss that civilly.

Those who are happy with their lives and women are the winners.

Those who make denigrating comments on happy people certainly aren't winners.

I think the problem is that many people pretending they are happy with their partners in Thailand are nothing of the sort, but they're too ashamed to admit it and instead pretend to everyone around them they're incredibly happy....

Hear hear!

[F1fanatic]

During this research I also found out what women want in a man. You can forget about looking at that one. Financial security comes in at 8th place. Obviously no women from Thailand were asked. I would buy second or third for the overwhelming majority of TV posters who have hi so wives with big money jobs but not 8th place. Portugal, Ireland, Greece, Spain maybe. But not Thailand.

What woman want in a man or what women SAY they want in a man? I have heard all sorts of women say what they want in a man and to fit that description the only one they should choose would be a flaming gay fruitcake. Of course, that is NOT what they keep choosing. They keep choosing the hunky womanizer and ignore the nice nerdy guy who works hard at his job and tries to be a good man.

That is so true

As a woman I have to agree that it is v true. Young women are not interested in nice, nerdy guys v often. We have to get older to look back and realise how much better off we would have been with the nice, nerdy guys who were in love with us - but we were not interested . We all learn our lessons the hard way....

[F1fanatic]

I see lots of response to what makes a man a loser, but I haven't seen ANY response to what makes a man a winner... and WHY he is a winner. I'd like to see a few definitions of the winners and maybe we can discuss that civilly.

Those who are happy with their lives and women are the winners.

Those who make denigrating comments on happy people certainly aren't winners.

I think the problem is that many people pretending they are happy with their partners in Thailand are nothing of the sort, but they're too ashamed to admit it and instead pretend to everyone around them they're incredibly happy....

Hear hear!

I learnt that from my ex-hubby. He was desperately trying to stay close to me (and telling me how untrustworthy Thai women were etc. etc. - even though he was now living with a Thai g/f!). But meanwhile he was telling everyone else how much he loved his g/f.

He sent me emails attaching videos of Presley songs (Always on my mind etc.), trying to come round for a drink of an evening etc. etc., and when he had to go back to the UK for health reasons, gave me Power of Attorney over all of his financial matters, even though he was telling everyone else how much he loved his live-in g/f.....

V sad.

[Ulysses G.]

As a woman I have to agree that it is v true. Young women are not interested in nice, nerdy guys v often. We have to get older to look back and realise how much better off we would have been with the nice, nerdy guys who were in love with us - but we were not interested . We all learn our lessons the hard way....

There would be a lot less Western men in Thailand if more women back home thought this way.

[IanForbes]

As a woman I have to agree that it is v true. Young women are not interested in nice, nerdy guys v often. We have to get older to look back and realise how much better off we would have been with the nice, nerdy guys who were in love with us - but we were not interested . We all learn our lessons the hard way....

There would be a lot less Western men in Thailand if more women back home thought this way.

As the old saying goes... Too soon old, too late smart

[F1fanatic]

As a woman I have to agree that it is v true. Young women are not interested in nice, nerdy guys v often. We have to get older to look back and realise how much better off we would have been with the nice, nerdy guys who were in love with us - but we were not interested . We all learn our lessons the hard way....

There would be a lot less Western men in Thailand if more women back home thought this way.

As the old saying goes... Too soon old, too late smart

Couldn't agree more. Not sure whether to add a smiley or sad emoticon....

[siamamerican]

Winners: Men with women that love them.

Losers: Men with women that put up with them because they feel it is the best option at the moment.

Extraordinary losers: Men who disrespect their partners that they bought.

Oh and the last few post regarding the western women that don't settle for nerdy men are wrong. Hmm, a little hypocritical considering this audience.

[torasap]

As a woman I have to agree that it is v true. Young women are not interested in nice, nerdy guys v often. We have to get older to look back and realise how much better off we would have been with the nice, nerdy guys who were in love with us - but we were not interested . We all learn our lessons the hard way....

Of course young women want alpha-males. Those who play football well and bully the nerdy guys, are more suitable for producing a physically strong, healthy offspring. And due to their semi-sociopathic nature, these males later become business-men, police-officers or jailbirds, depending on their background. Who cares about a narrow-shouldered four-eye whose main interests are maths, physics and computer science?

I wouldn't be surprised if there is a significantly larger share of mathematicians and software engineers (including programmers) on this forum, than what's average in society. That is my experience from other SEA-related forums.

[mark45y]

If you say no you will be right the majority of the time. It is safer to be an accountant than an entrepreneur. It is safer to be a pimp than a hooker.

Alpha males and alpha females take risks. They are people of action. They are noticeable and the first ones to get arrested in the crowd.

Alpha males even old ones come to Thailand. They can exist in Thailand. They are used to risk. They don't have to get married. They can exist alone in a foreign and sometimes inhospitable environment.

I can tell you who the alpha males are on TV. It's easy to see.

Alpha males are going to fail a lot. It is the odds. Take more risks, more chance of failure.

You can stay home collect a pension and live a quiet life of security.

Or you can come to Thailand and get used to lilting voices saying, “I never do that before.”

The great majority of posters on TV are not alpha males and will react negatively. They have made a life in Thailand that is like back home except with slanty eyes and spicy food. Taking Western values and culture and superimposing them on Thai thoughts and drawing Western answers to Thai questions.

Is it being a winner in Thailand to have recreated a Western life here? I think my kids expected me to find a wife in Thailand. I have not.

I think Ian is an Alpha male. He tries to hide it sometimes and waxes sentimental and may even convince some people.

Deep down inside all of that fluffy exterior I think he is tough as nails. I don't think he scares easily. I think women realize this. When he walks in a new environment women can smell the absence of fear and they react to it. So you wonder why, a 20 year old woman would be attracted to a man three times her age? Ask Ian. Non alpha males will resoundingly respond, “it's the money.” Young women are after old men for the money only. Ask Ian, he'll give you a more balanced and probably correct answer.

[Ulysses G.]

Oh and the last few post regarding the western women that don't settle for nerdy men are wrong. Hmm, a little hypocritical considering this audience.

That last poster IS a Western woman. That shows how much you know.

[ozzieovaseas]

Marky, just my opinion, but i fail to see how you could possibly class IanForbes as an alphamale personality.

Given that in torosaps post he classes them as being those who bully the nerds at school, who then go on to have somewhat dominant but dubious careers that rely (to some degree) on being able to dominate and lorde it over everyone and eveybody..and also noted that many of these so called alpha males who lived by the sword eventually die by it as well.

You seem to be attributing this observation to Ian as if it were a compliment. I wonder if Ian feels that way?

Of course alpha males are absolute magnets to certain females, but in my opinion these females are not usually the sharpest pencils in the pack and a sensible (albeit) nerd guy would know that they are not worth having anyway. In my observations the females whom are initially attracted to alpha males usually die by their own sword long before there ex alphamales do.

As far as winners and loosers go, i think the so called alphamale and his equivalent alphafemale are the loosers in the long run. Often they want more and more and are never satisfied with their lot, until eventually the whole scene breaks down and becomes and living endless nighmare of loosing battles.

I think the loosers (or as classed by many) are in fact the winners in many ways. They can live on the basics that life provides, are happy and gracious for what comes their way and can still draw some positive attitudes and sense of humour even when tradgedy occurs.

Being a reader of many of Ians posts i would consider him one of the biggest winners on Thaivisa, if not only for his positive attitude AND his ability not to get lulled into the bickering that goes on. (sorry Ian, not trying to embarrass or p7ss in your pocket, just an observation.

Also there are many who get a bit of entertainment (i am also guilty) of taking the piss out of Marky but if i had to choose whether he was on the winner or looser side i would have no hesitation declaring him also a winner...after all he takes a lot of crap from us and keeps coming back!!!

Talking about winners and loosers reminds me of that saying some of my older friends used to quip...

" I may be a silly old fool, but you, my young friend, are yet to reach that stage"

In the case of a lot of thaivisas "alphamales" i would hazzard a guess that not all of them will make it to markys age and be able to tell the tales

[Tonto21]

I like to think of myself as an average Joe when it comes to looks and personality, (if there is such a thing) As for meeting and dating in the UK, I like most men, if there honest find themselves either in the frying pan or the fire with UK women. It's a battle ground out there, in general women expectations are far higher and there check list is a lot longer for a potential mate than 50 years ago.

I think some of the problem with the dating game in the UK is that women are developing faster, than men (on an evolutionary scale) the days of a man being a good father and having a job is just not not enough, he has to be; spontaneous and predictable, he has to be; sensitive and manly, funny, and good looking, (in a rugged sort of cute way??) cry at the right times in a soppy film, (cry at the wrong time and he's a pussy) and have a degree in ESP and feeling! Women's expectations are higher and they are demanding more from a standing start. Then there's the kick in the marble sack, you get into a relationship, great! This is where some women now go to town and start changing all your bad point; get you away from your friends, stop that night out with the boys, make you eat the healthy shit she likes, make you wear the cloths she likes, then after she's got rid of all your friends and turned you into a "yes" man, who now likes soft furnishings!.................She ditches your ass because your boring....No fun any more, she'll say "You used to be fun" A lot of men just can't keep up with the demands of today's dating game. Man hasn't moved on emotional since he lived in a cave. Couple all this with men in the west being emasculated at every turn. Well I think you know what I mean.I don't hold the view that any man coming to Thailand primarily for sex has to be a loser, why?Women are not the only ones with a biological clock, (mine still rings at 6am every morning on its own) I think as single men get older they just get frigging sick of the dating game, the getting a date, the date, the cost, and endless bullshit, you have to go though...........just to get told at the end of the date; "I've had a great time..............we must do it again sometime.....goodnight" Goodnight?Not even a knee trembler!

I don't think I need to list the reasons why western men like Thai women. A lot settle for bar girls, the more they go with a the bar girls the less likely they will ever find a non-bar girlfriend. The ability to relate with women in general gets slowly lost. I try not to judge western men in Thailand or the women back in the old countries for not understanding there men. Girls please understand we men are simple folk. We do not come fitted, (as standard) with the human equivalent of an enigma decoder, if your trying to convey something....Open your frigging Pie holes and tell us.

There is one hidden drawback I feel for the men who opt for easy shagging in Thailand, I'm talking about the men that struggled to have or maintain a relationship with a female other than there mother or sister in there home country. Spend any time in the "Stud zone" in Thailand and what little ability they had to communicate on a equal footing with women will be gone. I have a friend, now living in Pattaya, he falls into this category, He's embarrassing, he now talks to all women, including, another friend of mines wife, who speaks good English, she is an intelligent and educated woman, he talks to her like she's a bar girl. When talking to a woman, be they waitress, shop assistant, someone's wife or girlfriend he starts to talk pigeon Thaiglish and is just rude, (He thinks all women want him now!) his giving them money is, well, just helping them out, what a stud!

Op, to answer the question, my mate "Thaiglish" is single is getting more poontang than you can shake a stick at, but is desperately lonely, me, I'm up to me ass in Rich Tea........and could really go a Bourbon! Frying pan or Fire!

Edited December 4, 2010 by Tonto21

[F1fanatic]

I like to think of myself as an average Joe when it comes to looks and personality, (if there is such a thing) As for meeting and dating in the UK, I like most men, if there honest find themselves either in the frying pan or the fire with UK women. It's a battle ground out there, in general women expectations are far higher and there check list is a lot longer for a potential mate than 50 years ago.

I think some of the problem with the dating game in the UK is that women are developing faster, than men (on an evolutionary scale) the days of a man being a good father and having a job is just not not enough, he has to be; spontaneous and predictable, he has to be; sensitive and manly, funny, and good looking, (in a rugged sort of cute way??) cry at the right times in a soppy film, (cry at the wrong time and he's a pussy) and have a degree in ESP and feeling! Women's expectations are higher and they are demanding more from a standing start. Then there's the kick in the marble sack, you get into a relationship, great! This is where some women now go to town and start changing all your bad point; get you away from your friends, stop that night out with the boys, make you eat the healthy shit she likes, make you wear the cloths she likes, then after she's got rid of all your friends and turned you into a "yes" man, who now likes soft furnishings!.................She ditches your ass because your boring....No fun any more, she'll say "You used to be fun" A lot of men just can't keep up with the demands of today's dating game. Man hasn't moved on emotional since he lived in a cave. Couple all this with men in the west being emasculated at every turn. Well I think you know what I mean.I don't hold the view that any man coming to Thailand primarily for sex has to be a loser, why?Women are not the only ones with a biological clock, (mine still rings at 6am every morning on its own) I think as single men get older they just get frigging sick of the dating game, the getting a date, the date, the cost, and endless bullshit, you have to go though...........just to get told at the end of the date; "I've had a great time..............we must do it again sometime.....goodnight" Goodnight?Not even a knee trembler!

I don't think I need to list the reasons why western men like Thai women. A lot settle for bar girls, the more they go with a the bar girls the less likely they will ever find a non-bar girlfriend. The ability to relate with women in general gets slowly lost. I try not to judge western men in Thailand or the women back in the old countries for not understanding there men. Girls please understand we men are simple folk. We do not come fitted, (as standard) with the human equivalent of an enigma decoder, if your trying to convey something....Open your frigging Pie holes and tell us.

There is one hidden drawback I feel for the men who opt for easy shagging in Thailand, I'm talking about the men that struggled to have or maintain a relationship with a female other than there mother or sister in there home country. Spend any time in the "Stud zone" in Thailand and what little ability they had to communicate on a equal footing with women will be gone. I have a friend, now living in Pattaya, he falls into this category, He's embarrassing, he now talks to all women, including, another friend of mines wife, who speaks good English, she is an intelligent and educated woman, he talks to her like she's a bar girl. When talking to a woman, be they waitress, shop assistant, someone's wife or girlfriend he starts to talk pigeon Thaiglish and is just rude, (He thinks all women want him now!) his giving them money is, well, just helping them out, what a stud!

Op, to answer the question, my mate "Thaiglish" is single is getting more poontang than you can shake a stick at, but is desperately lonely, me, I'm up to me ass in Rich Tea........and could really go a Bourbon! Frying pan or Fire!

I agree with a lot of what you say in your first two paragraphs, but not all.

Most Western women (depending on where you come from), encourage their husband to have male friends - women enjoy spending time with other women so have little problem with their husband doing the same (unless they're v young and insecure).

Had to laugh about the 'healthy shit' comment - I was guilty of this (and my husband complained about it). The funny thing is that when we separated for a few years, after we got back together I was amazed to discover that my husband had continued with the 'healthy shit' !

You're right about the clothes though.... I only allowed my husband to wear his leather trousers when he was on stage (playing with his band) - he loved them, I hated them. Having said that, he always loved the clothes I bought him and wore them to death.

Other than that I (and my friends) never dreamed of changing our husbands. Why would we? He was not about to change us so why on earth would we think we could change him?

More women than men in the West accept being bored with their marriage, as women normally take marriage more seriously.

Reasonably attractive women have men 'coming on' to them all the time and whilst enjoying the attention, don't take it seriously. Men find it more difficult and are therefore more excited when it happens....

Men (who can't attract women easily in the West) come to Thailand and it goes to their head that so many women suddenly find them incredibly attractive.... Not only that, but the women appear to be subservient and happy to serve their every need. What more could anybody want? At least for a short period of time - after which the reality of not being able to communicate properly, not having someone you can rely on, having different outlooks on life, becomes obvious.

[canuckamuck]

I agree with a lot of what you say in your first two paragraphs, but not all.

Most Western women (depending on where you come from), encourage their husband to have male friends - women enjoy spending time with other women so have little problem with their husband doing the same (unless they're v young and insecure).

Had to laugh about the 'healthy shit' comment - I was guilty of this (and my husband complained about it). The funny thing is that when we separated for a few years, after we got back together I was amazed to discover that my husband had continued with the 'healthy shit' !

You're right about the clothes though.... I only allowed my husband to wear his leather trousers when he was on stage (playing with his band) - he loved them, I hated them. Having said that, he always loved the clothes I bought him and wore them to death.

Other than that I (and my friends) never dreamed of changing our husbands. Why would we? He was not about to change us so why on earth would we think we could change him?

More women than men in the West accept being bored with their marriage, as women normally take marriage more seriously.

Reasonably attractive women have men 'coming on' to them all the time and whilst enjoying the attention, don't take it seriously. Men find it more difficult and are therefore more excited when it happens....

Men (who can't attract women easily in the West) come to Thailand and it goes to their head that so many women suddenly find them incredibly attractive.... Not only that, but the women appear to be subservient and happy to serve their every need. What more could anybody want? At least for a short period of time - after which the reality of not being able to communicate properly, not having someone you can rely on, having different outlooks on life, becomes obvious.

Nicely stated

[mark45y]

I like to think of myself as an average Joe when it comes to looks and personality, (if there is such a thing) As for meeting and dating in the UK, I like most men, if there honest find themselves either in the frying pan or the fire with UK women. It's a battle ground out there, in general women expectations are far higher and there check list is a lot longer for a potential mate than 50 years ago.

I think some of the problem with the dating game in the UK is that women are developing faster, than men (on an evolutionary scale) the days of a man being a good father and having a job is just not not enough, he has to be; spontaneous and predictable, he has to be; sensitive and manly, funny, and good looking, (in a rugged sort of cute way??) cry at the right times in a soppy film, (cry at the wrong time and he's a pussy) and have a degree in ESP and feeling! Women's expectations are higher and they are demanding more from a standing start. Then there's the kick in the marble sack, you get into a relationship, great! This is where some women now go to town and start changing all your bad point; get you away from your friends, stop that night out with the boys, make you eat the healthy shit she likes, make you wear the cloths she likes, then after she's got rid of all your friends and turned you into a "yes" man, who now likes soft furnishings!.................She ditches your ass because your boring....No fun any more, she'll say "You used to be fun" A lot of men just can't keep up with the demands of today's dating game. Man hasn't moved on emotional since he lived in a cave. Couple all this with men in the west being emasculated at every turn. Well I think you know what I mean.I don't hold the view that any man coming to Thailand primarily for sex has to be a loser, why?Women are not the only ones with a biological clock, (mine still rings at 6am every morning on its own) I think as single men get older they just get frigging sick of the dating game, the getting a date, the date, the cost, and endless bullshit, you have to go though...........just to get told at the end of the date; "I've had a great time..............we must do it again sometime.....goodnight" Goodnight?Not even a knee trembler!

I don't think I need to list the reasons why western men like Thai women. A lot settle for bar girls, the more they go with a the bar girls the less likely they will ever find a non-bar girlfriend. The ability to relate with women in general gets slowly lost. I try not to judge western men in Thailand or the women back in the old countries for not understanding there men. Girls please understand we men are simple folk. We do not come fitted, (as standard) with the human equivalent of an enigma decoder, if your trying to convey something....Open your frigging Pie holes and tell us.

There is one hidden drawback I feel for the men who opt for easy shagging in Thailand, I'm talking about the men that struggled to have or maintain a relationship with a female other than there mother or sister in there home country. Spend any time in the "Stud zone" in Thailand and what little ability they had to communicate on a equal footing with women will be gone. I have a friend, now living in Pattaya, he falls into this category, He's embarrassing, he now talks to all women, including, another friend of mines wife, who speaks good English, she is an intelligent and educated woman, he talks to her like she's a bar girl. When talking to a woman, be they waitress, shop assistant, someone's wife or girlfriend he starts to talk pigeon Thaiglish and is just rude, (He thinks all women want him now!) his giving them money is, well, just helping them out, what a stud!

Op, to answer the question, my mate "Thaiglish" is single is getting more poontang than you can shake a stick at, but is desperately lonely, me, I'm up to me ass in Rich Tea........and could really go a Bourbon! Frying pan or Fire!

I see where you are coming from. I am lonely sometimes. Not every night is a winner. I never really got into the bar scene as I was only alone in Thailand for a few days. I am more into serial monogamy. I didn't do that to hone my ability to adapt to different relationships. I would rather both parties be tested and live together 24/7 and be sure there are no STD issues. If I stray I cover up but I don't like to do that every day, hence serial monogamy.

I was never the kind of guy that talks to ladies of the night like ladies of the night. So I don't fear my speech or language patterns changing. I never learned how to speak bar English. It is either my bad attempt at Thai or English spoken well and without accent.

I do worry that I would ever be able to establish a relationship with anything but a very liberal woman. My choices were very narrow in the States before I got here.

I've been lucky so far in Thailand. My two long term relationships were up for some fun. I may have freaked out the last one a bit when we took a tour of late night Pattaya. The Castle tends to frighten some people as does that club on LK Metro.

I have no idea where to look for a mate nor am I trying.

If I run into to someone I please and who pleases me fine she can stay for as long as she wants.

I wouldn't suggest my path for a young man. I wouldn't suggest Thailand for a young man. I have had my family and the loves of my life. I didn't come here to find them although I did know about the place for the past 40 years.

Are people who are in love winners? I think that is the stereotype. Some are, some are not. Is being in love basic to human nature? I don't think so. Women nest and provide for children and men are driven to provide children. I think that is more basic. In the history of man I think the love thing is pretty recent and has not really withstood the test of time.

[IanForbes]

Alpha males aren't all boors who pick on the nerds. Only a small percentage do that. Alpha males are just capable men with self confidence, that won't take any BS from anyone else. Even men of small stature can be alpha males if they have confidence and the smarts to go with it. Nerds is a degrogatory term used for the more studious types who don't like physical confrontation. But, later in life they might far exceed that of the alpha male. But, again I'm only speaking in generalization. People change... and some a great deal. Many alpha males are handsome, but some are not. What they DO have is confidence in their own abilities. That is what makes them attractive to females.

If we want to go back in history to the caveman days then yes, the alpha male would be the biggest, strongest and smartest man in the tribe. He would have the pick of the women and take them physically with no cerimony... not unlike the alpha male in the wild kingdom. There are still a few traits of that in modern man, but thankfully we've evolved a bit since then.

I wouldn't really call myself an alpha male. I'm more of a loner who is self confident in my own abilities. I don't back down from anyone, but I'm not aggressive either. I've learned most everything the hard way, but I've retained what I've learned and seldom make the same mistake twice... except when in the presence of a beautiful woman... then my brain seems to get a bit fuzzy.

[F1fanatic]

Alpha males aren't all boors who pick on the nerds. Only a small percentage do that. Alpha males are just capable men with self confidence, that won't take any BS from anyone else. Even men of small stature can be alpha males if they have confidence and the smarts to go with it. Nerds is a degrogatory term used for the more studious types who don't like physical confrontation. But, later in life they might far exceed that of the alpha male. But, again I'm only speaking in generalization. People change... and some a great deal. Many alpha males are handsome, but some are not. What they DO have is confidence in their own abilities. That is what makes them attractive to females.

If we want to go back in history to the caveman days then yes, the alpha male would be the biggest, strongest and smartest man in the tribe. He would have the pick of the women and take them physically with no cerimony... not unlike the alpha male in the wild kingdom. There are still a few traits of that in modern man, but thankfully we've evolved a bit since then.

I wouldn't really call myself an alpha male. I'm more of a loner who is self confident in my own abilities. I don't back down from anyone, but I'm not aggressive either. I've learned most everything the hard way, but I've retained what I've learned and seldom make the same mistake twice... except when in the presence of a beautiful woman... then my brain seems to get a bit fuzzy.

Couldn't agree more. Alpha males are never bullies who need to 'prove' their virility by picking on weaker people.

[siamamerican]

Oh and the last few post regarding the western women that don't settle for nerdy men are wrong. Hmm, a little hypocritical considering this audience.

That last poster IS a Western woman. That shows how much you know.

Yes I knew she was a women. Why would you feel they aren't part of the audience or are you making some mysterious point. Strange response

[siamamerican]

Couldn't agree more. Alpha males are never bullies who need to 'prove' their virility by picking on weaker people.

Many are bullies and even more are well rounded winners. Being an Alpha male isn't the same as being a winner. From my personal experience, A-males are more focussed at the task at hand and at times hurt others in their pursuit.

[Ulysses G.]

Oh and the last few post regarding the western women that don't settle for nerdy men are wrong. Hmm, a little hypocritical considering this audience.

That last poster IS a Western woman. That shows how much you know.

are you making some mysterious point.

The point is not so mysterious.

[torasap]

Alpha males aren't all boors who pick on the nerds. Only a small percentage do that.

A small percentage of the males? Or of the alpha-males? In the former case, I would surely agree with you.

Couldn't agree more. Alpha males are never bullies who need to 'prove' their virility by picking on weaker people.

Of course they don't "need" to do all this excessive cruelty to prove what everybody knows. All I've said however, is that it's what they often actually do anyway - probably to demonstrate power. Not that it applies to all of them (it for sure does not), but take a look at all the tyrants throughout history - from Phalaris of Sicily who in the end got roasted in his own brazen bull, to Stalin, Pol-Pot and Kim Jong-Il. Those were all alpha-males, strong leaders of their respective domains.

[mark45y]

Chacma baboons have a despotic social structure in which a single alpha male can almost completely monopolise mating opportunities by guarding females during their oestrus periods. Yet Barrett found that subordinate males in the De Hoop troop fathered 23 of 64 offspring during that time.

Closer analysis showed that this was not because the alpha male was too tired, too busy, or too inexperienced to guard the females. Instead, he appeared to be willingly ceding copulations to subordinate males

The alpha male's apparent generosity may be a strategy for protecting his young after he is no longer around. When an alpha male dies or wanders off, new alpha males – usually from an outside group – move in, and tend to try to kill infants from the previous regime. Having "spare dads" in the troop may help ensure that these infants receive protection, says Barrett.

You are probably wondering why I quote this study and what does it have to do with Thailand.

Thailand serves two purposes. Non alpha males who have a hard time finding mating partners in the West stand a better chance in Thailand.

And two, if you read the above study it mentions that Alpha males wander off. Why would they wander off? Where would they go? Monkeys men like people get tired of the same females day after day. An alpha male can come to Thailand had still have his covey of ladies without the responsibility of maintaining a homestead or fighting off the non alpha males (except on Thai Visa). In Thailand you never lose your lady , to quote the old saying, you only lose your turn.

[Forethat]

Couldn't agree more. Alpha males are never bullies who need to 'prove' their virility by picking on weaker people.

From a biological and evolutional standpoint I couldn't disagree more.

[Forethat]

Chacma baboons have a despotic social structure in which a single alpha male can almost completely monopolise mating opportunities by guarding females during their oestrus periods. Yet Barrett found that subordinate males in the De Hoop troop fathered 23 of 64 offspring during that time.

Closer analysis showed that this was not because the alpha male was too tired, too busy, or too inexperienced to guard the females. Instead, he appeared to be willingly ceding copulations to subordinate males

The alpha male's apparent generosity may be a strategy for protecting his young after he is no longer around. When an alpha male dies or wanders off, new alpha males – usually from an outside group – move in, and tend to try to kill infants from the previous regime. Having "spare dads" in the troop may help ensure that these infants receive protection, says Barrett.

You are probably wondering why I quote this study and what does it have to do with Thailand.

Thailand serves two purposes. Non alpha males who have a hard time finding mating partners in the West stand a better chance in Thailand.

And two, if you read the above study it mentions that Alpha males wander off. Why would they wander off? Where would they go? Monkeys men like people get tired of the same females day after day. An alpha male can come to Thailand had still have his covey of ladies without the responsibility of maintaining a homestead or fighting off the non alpha males (except on Thai Visa). In Thailand you never lose your lady , to quote the old saying, you only lose your turn.

And please feel free to include references to the source of the text

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn18366-why-alphamale-baboons-allow-subordinates-sex-treats.html

[siamamerican]

Oh and the last few post regarding the western women that don't settle for nerdy men are wrong. Hmm, a little hypocritical considering this audience.

That last poster IS a Western woman. That shows how much you know.

are you making some mysterious point.

The point is not so mysterious.

Please tell then. If a baboon made the comment, I would think it was hilarious considering this forums audience. Just like the more recent post she made stating all Alpha males were nice to others. She is pandering to the likes of members like yourself that will comment on her wisdom, even though it flies in the face of reality.

The honest truth is that most Farangs are losers in regards to relationships. They are searching for something that is beyond their grasp. Love and friendship are not easily found in this world. Purchasing a partner and then treating her like an asset in most cases is going to end poorly.

I have met men in Thailand that purchased their wifes but dedicated themselves to creating a relationship not based on dominance. Some of these men seem to be very happy and I would consider them winners.

[saakura]

The Grass is always greener marky....always.

That's true. I want to play on the other side though :/

Perhaps you did not understand.....what he meant was that when you are on the 'other side', the grass on 'this side' will then look greener.

[saakura]

I don't agree with you. I am not here for 6 month per year, gone 2 month each time for work. I am married to a lovely girl, we have a 1 year boy. I just know that she don't butterfly, it is not in her nature. She wants to fell "warm" before doing any of that. I think I should mention that she is 31 and I am 48 so age difference not too big. I seen some of my "friends" having 20 year old GF's and they are +60 themselves and oh boy have they been shafted big time.

I see many lonely expats in Pattaya and I fell sorry for them. Some of them will properly end off from a balcony/roof one day. OK that said, some just love to have a new girl every night and they have a very good time here (if they can afford it)

My advice is: if you don't fell to old to start a family and you got the right woman, go for it and you will be well awarded.

Age difference of 2-5yrs is most ideal for life partners. May be stretched max upto 10yrs if both partners are equally well educated. More than that depends on individual merits and cannot be generalised. In the long term, common interests, education level of both partners, ability to communicate and parity in social standing of both partners is the key to success.

[mark45y]

Age difference of 2-5yrs is most ideal for life partners. May be stretched max upto 10yrs if both partners are equally well educated. More than that depends on individual merits and cannot be generalised. In the long term, common interests, education level of both partners, ability to communicate and parity in social standing of both partners is the key to success.

If you look at the recent studies you will find that there is no clear link between age gap and divorce.

The guidelines that you suggest are only in your head.

Whatever the age difference you have only about a 50% chance of remaining married. Remaining happily married? I can't tell you exactly but it is less than 50%.