Dependancy - Are You Doing Your Bit?

[craigt3365]

Ok guys, calm down. Let's keep this thread "above the belt", OK? Back to the topic at hand...

Edit: I cleaned up a few posts. Please stay on topic or warnings will be given.

[jazzbo]

The Topic is Dependency -- Are You Doing Your Bit -- as in are your actions contributing to dependency? ... My actions in many cases are to end dependency whether it is assisting disabled persons to attend university here in Thailand or on scholarship in other countries ... by providing printed materials in alternative formats Braille or otherwise ... and for contributing the tuition so that two Thai women can attend school and -- being that one of them is not yet 4 -- I can only enjoy currently the benefit of one of them.

On the ' What Have You Done for Thailand ...' topic someone derisively wrote (#55) ' You are quite obviously a saint..' Who knew? ... it can sometimes go a long way...

[craigt3365]

The Topic is Dependency -- Are You Doing Your Bit -- as in are your actions contributing to dependency? ... My actions in many cases are to end dependency whether it is assisting disabled persons to attend university here in Thailand or on scholarship in other countries ... by providing printed materials in alternative formats Braille or otherwise ... and for contributing the tuition so that two Thai women can attend school and -- being that one of them is not yet 4 -- I can only enjoy currently the benefit of one of them.

On the ' What Have You Done for Thailand ...' topic someone derisively wrote (#55) ' You are quite obviously a saint..' Who knew? ... it can sometimes go a long way...

Helping Thai's with their education is fantastic. I'm about to help my wife's niece. She is only 15 now, but wants to be a doctor. I figure it's a great thing to do so when I start developing age related illnesses...as we all eventually do...I've got somebody I can trust!!!

You are obviously doing a lot. Good for you! But even the little things we can do go a long way...

:jap:

[MJP]

I could be wrong, but I thought the average Thai wage was around 8,000 baht p.m.?

It's a bit higher in Bangkok.

So if you and your wife's siblings (you didn't say how many) are all paying these amounts - they are v wealthy by Thai standards and have no need to work - they are lucky to get lots of money from the in-laws.

I certainly hope you are right about that. The parents are both too old to work now.

By the way, my wife has 2 siblings who also give money to their parents. Frankly, I'm not sure about the exact amounts, but they are in the same order of magnitude as what I send.

This is an issue. I put the foot down a couple of years ago and made it clear that, whilst I'll build infrastructure and help with basics, no one was to become dependent on me. I could drop dead. I could grow a brain and get on a plane, anything could happen. It's about stability.

Whilst poor old mother-in-law has six adult children, they're either barmy, selfish or just plain lazy and hopeless. What to do? Well, hopefully they have enough going on and can get enough day labour to continuing farming. I will do what I can, which ain't much in this economic climate, but then looking at it I live on less than 5000 Baht a month myself, quite comfortably so you do wonder what the problem is.

[phil2]

You may find this guide useful:

Pretty much all the women with farang men fall in column 3, but none will admit it .

Thoroughly enjoying everyone explaining why this is not the case in 'their' case.

I actually saw that document some months ago, and it helped me to realize that my ex was in column 2.

[Derifo]

I dont drink I never go to bars, is that so hard to believe? Ive never been to Nana either or most of the other local holes.

Yeah right, and I'm from a minor planet Zargh 14.71 in the outer reaches of the great spiral galaxy you know as M31 in the constellation Andromeda. I also know nothing of these "bars" and who is "Nana" but I do know a local "hole", black it is and composed of superdense matter.

Welcome to the internet where you are what you say and nobody believes you nor gives a flying <deleted>.

Don't be cruel. There could be people like travelmann walking the earth amongst us; its like an alternate universe an arm's length away from our own...

SC

I've been here ( BKK ) for 8 yrs. I don't go to Nana, I don't go to Pat Pong, or any other bar for that matter..

[IanForbes]

There are some differences between you and I because of age.

I see the end of my life very clearly. I know I am finite. I can see the end.

I think, I could be wrong but you are much younger than I. I believe you think you are indestructible. I am not saying that in a bad way I used to feel that way too.

I do many things differently now that I am older. I have sex with more women because it would not surprise me if I had a heart attack tomorrow. I don't expect one but it would not be a surprise to anyone. I live a little fast for an old guy.

The first thing I gave up for sex was alcohol. It was difficult. I really liked beer. I especially liked English beer. The doctor told me I could not have both.

The second thing I gave up for sex was food. I have physical relationships with women on an empty stomach. My plumbing does not work as well on a full stomach. A big meal at a pub and all I am good for is a night watching, old war movies on TV.

When I walk down the street and see Lek and Pet and Dow I don't look at them the same way you do. I see them as perhaps my last fling, my last Tango on Paris.

I keep thinking of Willie Nelson and Willie said, "I outlived my pecker." Willie is not that much older than I. Scary thought so I may work a little quicker tonight and maybe get in two if I'm lucky.

Too true, Mark. I've got a couple years on you and also know I'm finite. If I'm lucky I have another 10 years of living... rather than just being alive. When I'm too old to perform like a man I want to have good memories while I sit in my rocking chair. I'd hate to think I missed out on something that I MIGHT have had if I had changed my life style. There's nothing worse than regrets about NOT doing something that you COULD have done.

But, back on the OP's original topic of encouraging dependancy by providing too much to the locals. It's a double edged sword that has two obviously different conclusions. On one side you can choose to NOT provide anything and let the locals struggle anyway they wish. The other side is to hand out big wads of money so they DON'T HAVE TO WORK.

I think the answer to the question is somewhere in between... as it always is. That is what a good parent does for their children. If you examine what really happens you need look no further than North America. The people with the most problems are either the very poor or the children of the very rich. The middle class seems the most well adjusted, They struggle along, work the hardest and get most things done of any value. The poor don't work because they've been born into a world of dependancy. The children of the very rich often turn into misfits. That is because they've never had to struggle and work to get ahead. They haven't learned the values and pleasure of doing it yourself in getting ahead.

The wellfare system doesn't really work in the western world and just maintains dependancy. But, it's far better than leaving people to die in the streets like India.

Some people who are given a bit of help at the right time actually take it and put it to good use. They get an education and learn to succeed. But, it DOES take a bit of guidance.

[jazzbo]

Scary thought so I may work a little quicker tonight and maybe get in two if I'm lucky... Nelson Rockefeller maybe thought the same... maybe you should start thinking in terms of quality not quantity as no one is really keeping score.

[jan1van1hooten]

nobody wants to work if that means taking orders from somebody else

even people who work for themselves might not do it if they did not have to, in order to get money.

the purpose of "work" is not to avoid something called "dependency," but just to get money.

the purpose of life is to be happy.

If one is happy doing something called work, fine, if not, the lack of work need not be disparaged as being "dependency."

we should not be in the business of saving other people from what we call dependency or any other psychological state. What looks like dependency from the outside may in fact be the best choice for spending one's time.

if someone does not want to give money to someone, he should not do it. He does not have to use ten-dollar words to justify it.

[StreetCowboy]

I dont drink I never go to bars, is that so hard to believe? Ive never been to Nana either or most of the other local holes.

Yeah right, and I'm from a minor planet Zargh 14.71 in the outer reaches of the great spiral galaxy you know as M31 in the constellation Andromeda. I also know nothing of these "bars" and who is "Nana" but I do know a local "hole", black it is and composed of superdense matter.

Welcome to the internet where you are what you say and nobody believes you nor gives a flying <deleted>.

Don't be cruel. There could be people like travelmann walking the earth amongst us; its like an alternate universe an arm's length away from our own...

SC

I've been here ( BKK ) for 8 yrs. I don't go to Nana, I don't go to Pat Pong, or any other bar for that matter..

Crivvens! They're like cockroaches... first one, then another one, and before you know it, you're finding them everywhere!

SC