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Glitterman Speaks About 'The Banjo Player And The Two Sea Serpents'.

glitterman

By glitterman
in Pattaya

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glitterman Senior Member

glitterman

Posted
Posted (edited)

Thank you for choosing this 'Glitterman' product. [As seen on T.V.] Used correctly this 'Glitterman' product should give you hours of enjoyment.

The Almighty and Powerful Wizard is back yet again and gives you;

PARABLE 759498574563247898210847665647935493475667505848756732163745057064756, Parable of the Cheese from the Moon, yet again.

........................And so, slowly cycling along beach road one day the Great Golden Glitterman did happen to see a policeman come running up towards him shouting,

"Save us O Gleat Golden Glitterman fowa evelyday about dis time two huge sea serpents wiv many heads comes out of da sea, and slithers up Soi S.Pattaya Land 2. Dis city is tellefied, please help us."

Then the Policeman held up a mirror for the Golden One to look into and kiss repeatedly. Then Policeman the said,

"Behold fowa you are legend."

Then the Policeman did drop to his knees and did grab hold of the Golden Ones feet and did worship the Golden One.

"Fear not Mr Policeman," Replied the Golden One, "For as you know I am the Great Golden Glitterman, and I will rid you of these scary slimy slimeball serpents."

.........................So the Golden One hid in Soi S.Pattaya Land 2 and waited for the sea serpents to arrive.

"Oh! Nothing yet.....Maybe Mr policeman was just having a laugh." thought the Golden One.

Suddenly from a nearby Beer bar music did emerge. Not the overplayed rubbish of 'Hotel California' but instead a single solitary string instument. The Golden One listened for a few seconds and said,

"Why, its a banjo, played by a ferang. How refreshing to hear the happy melodic 'twang' of a banjo, rather than the usual dark ominous sounds of a lead guitar. Although I am a member of the British Royal family, I shall go and put in a request for that George Fawnby banjo classic 'My old mans a dustman."

So the Golden One walked with a warm friendly smile towards the Beer bar. But upon approaching the music suddenly stopped, and everyone inside the Beer bar turned towards the Golden One, screamed and ran away with their hands held high in the air. All except the banjo player who ran away with his banjo held high in the air.

"The drinks are on me!" Shouted the Golden One.

They all stopped running, turned, and ran back to the Beer bar, with their hands held high in the air. All except the banjo player who ran back playing a rather cheerful ditty on his banjo. After they had all sat down, they all changed their minds, and ran away again, with their hands held high in the air. All except the banjo player who ran banging his banjo on the head of a man running in front of him because that man was not running fast enough.

"the drinks are on me!" Shouted the grinning Golden One again.

They all ran back to the Beer bar again with their hands held high in the air. All except the banjo player who ran back playing another cheerful ditty and also singing.

When seated they all changed their minds again, and ran away again with their hands held high in the air. All except the banjo player who cleverly decided to sit it out and play a suitable fast 'Hill Billy' type music tune for the runners.

The Golden One sat outside the Beer bar watching the running show and listening to the music. After one hour of this they all finally ran away. All except the banjo player who ran away forgetting his banjo.

"Oh! They must of decided to finally run away because its started to rain." Said the Golden One.

Looking up towards the sky the Golden One froze in terror as the many heads of two sea Serpents gazed down upon him. The sea Serpents then turned and quickly slithered back down towards the sea.

The Golden One said, "Oh! that is why the sea Serpents come up hear. Its for the unique banjo music. Rather like the cobras in India hypnotized by the Indian snake charmer. It also appears that I am still alive, so the sea Serpents are not dangerous.

The Golden One then ran after the sea Serpents shouting,

"Wait! Wait! I want to communicate with you both. You, me and wacko Jacko are all misunderstood freaks....er.....misunderstood legends, waaaaaaaiiiiiiit!"

Watching the sea Serpents slide into the sea the Golden One ran onto the sand. A large Thai man approached the Golden One saying,

"Hello Jetski, hello Jetski"

"No!" The Golden One replied angrily, "How many more times do I have to tell you, my name is not Jetski, it is Glitterman, GLITTERMAN. Now here is some Moon Cheese for the rent of your baby boat."

Leaving the happy Thai man sitting on the sand eating his cheese from the Moon, the Golden One zoomed off on the Jetski and soon caught up with the two sea Serpents.

"Hello! Said the Golden One, "I am the Great Golden Glitterman, superhero of Pattaya."

"We know." Replied one of the sea Serpents, "We also know you only usually wear clothes with the sea Serpent symbol on it. We are aware of everything here in Pattaya. With our many eyes we are watching everything, but you nobody ever sees us. Climb aboard O Great One, come into our world my friend."

And the Golden One did climb aboard one of the sea serpents backs, and they slipped through the water at speed. Then passing one of the large floating sea food restaurant the sea Serpents looked sad and said.

"It saddens us underwater life that you humans only see us as brainless sea food."

'BOOM!' Suddenly a harpoon from one of the floating sea food restaurants hit the tail of the sea Serpent, and the Golden One flew fast through the air, and landed on Beach Road. Stunned he staggered to his feet.

"Nooooo!" Shouted the Golden One seeing the two sea Serpents being dragged on board the floating restaurant and getting chopped up for Thai sea food.

Suddenly a speeding Pitza delivery moped hit the Golden One hard, causing the Golden One to fly through the air, far above the clouds, and land on top of the Buddha mountain. Getting to his feet the Golden One noticed that he had landed at the bottom of the steps to the large seated Golden Buddha. Looking at the two golden handrails that were carved into the shapes of two multi headed sea Serpents the Golden One sadly said,

"I will never forget you my friends."

And a tear did run down the sea Serpents face.

AMEN.

MORAL OF THE PARABLE IS; The things in life that can make you VERY happy, can also make you VERY sad.

Coming sooner or later another one.

The Royal Glitterman hath spoken.

.

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Edited by glitterman
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mindabenda Senior Member

mindabenda

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Posted

Insane in the membrain

Wait a moment and allow the subliminal messages to permeate. Oh, and I believe a more appropriate bango request might have been, "I'm going to be in the TT Races" by George Formby. George was a gangbuster ukelele player(should there be such a thing). Beginning, middle and the end (thankfully for some). Glitter on.

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soihok Platinum Member

soihok

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Took a risk taking the jetski there.

No mention of returning it, so could be wanted by the famous Beach Road Jetski Mob, yikes.

It would be good to hear of GM turning the mob into upstanding citizens, or frogs and snails.

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Wavefloater Silver Member

Wavefloater

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Posted (edited)

Oh my!!!

This "Glitter" person seems deeply disturbed.

Why? There's nothing in any way offensive about the OP.....why 'disturbed'?

I read some of the other posts by this person. They are very bizarre.

Besides anyone, who refers to himself as "The Almighty and Powerful Wizard" has some serious problems with delusional behaviour.

Edited by Wavefloater
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smokie36 Star Member

smokie36

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Posted

Oh my!!!

This "Glitter" person seems deeply disturbed.

Why? There's nothing in any way offensive about the OP.....why 'disturbed'?

I read some of the other posts by this person. They are very bizarre.

Besides anyone, who refers to himself as "The Almighty and Powerful Wizard" has some serious problems with delusional behaviour.

Seems more like an active imagination combined with a sense of self deprecating humour to me....

But then who am I to judge.....!

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Soutpeel Star Member

Soutpeel

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Besides anyone, who refers to himself as "The Almighty and Powerful Wizard" has some serious problems with delusional behaviour.

So he fits in very well with the majority of farangs in Pattaya then....delusional.

The guy is harmless, some of his posts are quite witty.

The one thing he can do, which the vast majority of Pattaya falangs in Pattaya cant do,........ he can string more than two coherant sentances together.

All bow down to the Almighty and Poweful Wizard....:jap:

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