Getting Hitched

[bangbuathongben]

Just thought this may make a interesting thread seeing as there have been so many about Thai wifes just latley.

I have been married for nearly a year now, and was courting the missus for 5 years. But I hear alot of stories about fella's getting married very quick. Not that I am saying there's anything wrong with it. But was wondering whether you think Thai women want to get married faster than Farang women? Is this just there traditional values? Or does marriage, seem less important to a Farang girl now days?

Bang..........

[Ice Maiden]

Bit young for all this talk of marriage. But I'd say getting married is one of the many milestones in life and should be taken seriously and thought about IMO. But more and more couples are getting married after just a few months which I don't think is realistic. I believe marriage is losing it's meaning. Some people are getting married for reasons other than love such as a woman I knew got married to her man out of financial bother, also my Dad married his second wife just so she could get visa for England.

But I don't believe there is a right time or a wrong time to get married, if you are both happy then I guess thats all that matters at the end of the day. But I've heard of many couples that were deliriously happy, got married, and then a few years down the line after having children realised they were not happy after the honeymoon period leaves.

To me because I'm young the thought of marriage dosen't really plague my mind and I like to think I'm great with studying and being single for the moment. But later on in life if a boyfriend popped the question I wouldn't jump and say "Yes" without thinking through it seriously, I don't really think if by the time I reach my mid thirties and I'm not married I'm going to panic and marry anyone because that isn't my idea of happiness. But the meaning means alot to me.

[Ice Maiden]

Sorry, just one more point.

Why should marriage be rushed when being in a relationship is just the same except when you are married, it's official. Why carn't you settle for holding onto your relationship a little longer before you decide to sign the papers and make it official because there are people out there that are not married, they also have children and lead happy lives, they aren't rushing and are going are there own pace and may decide to marry on a later date.

Edited August 19, 2005 by Ice Maiden

[sas_cars]

I whole heartedly agree ICE.How old are you BTW? Don't take it personal.

[Ice Maiden]

I whole heartedly agree ICE.How old are you BTW? Don't take it personal.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Lol, I won't. I'm 17

[khall64au]

FOR THE ONE THOUSANDETH TIME.... Ice is 17!!!

[Ice Maiden]

FOR THE ONE THOUSANDETH TIME.... Ice is 17!!!   

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Lol, thanks Khall

[chownah]

Ice Maiden, could you lone Thaicoon your "kiss me" heart candy....I want to see what his avatar looks like holding it the same way yours does."

[Heng]

For myself (Thai - Thai wedding): dated for 3 years, (off topic) but also the two families also got to know each other for 2 years. A lot of guys who plan to live here seem to disregard this second part. I'd say that most Thai families like to get to know each other first. It helps for a firmer foundation to build a future on.

[Rigger]

I know a guy that came straight to our village never been or seen thailand before and was set up by a Thai co worker from the UK. Stayed for two weeks and returned a month later and married the girl. Each to there own but I feel someone must not be all there to do something like this but then I Realized he was British

I think that most Thai ladys do want to get married faster as I dont think they have as many options as there sisters in the west

I was told that in the village they still have shot gun weddings if you get caught de-flowering one of the pretty young Thai girls running around you will be forced to marry and pay the dowrey or you can just pay the dowrey and do a runner

Edited August 20, 2005 by Rigger

[Boo]

I suppose it depends on the situation but I was fortunate enough to be able to live with my (thai) hubby for over 1 1/2 year before we married, in that time we were only apart for 3 months (my trip back to the UK) & I think the time we spent getting to know each other was intregal in working out our cultural differences & also gave us time to establish what we both wanted out of our future & whether we were on the same lines.

There are too many variables in comparing this to in the west, as with western couples, they usually have the opportunity to see each other everyday if they want & a lot of men meeting thai women are on a limited time scale (holidays etc) so that may explain why some seem to jump the gun very quickly.

[donna]

I recently attended a wedding in Sakaew. I didn't know the couple, but my friend did. Apparently they met about 6 months prior. They did not see each other until one day the guy goes to my friends brothers home (the girls parents have both passed away) and said that he wanted to marry the girl. So my friends brother went to see the girl and told her that this bloke wanted to marry her.

She said OK.

They married two weeks later.

In another situation, my friends daughter, 15 years old, just married her boyfriend, 19 years old. I don't see the rush. Sure, they are nice kids and all, but to get married so young astounds me. I told my friend, and she just told me "This is Isaan. We can do what we want".

On the other hand, I know Thai couples who have been together for years and have no intention of getting married. They have no real reason for this, but why get married and spend all that money if everything is going great already?

At times I wonder: Do the Thais have it right? Do they grow to love each other and make it work out? Do us farang 'kid maak' and go looking for faults over a long period when we should just take the leap and go for it?

Questions I have been asking myself lately.

[Ricardo]

Old farang saying ... Marry in Haste - Repent at Your Leisure

[chownah]

I recently attended a wedding in Sakaew.  I didn't know the couple, but my friend did.  Apparently they met about 6 months prior.  They did not see each other until one day the guy goes to my friends brothers home (the girls parents have both passed away) and said that he wanted to marry the girl.  So my friends brother went to see the girl and told her that this bloke wanted to marry her. 

She said OK.

They married two weeks later. 

In another situation, my friends daughter, 15 years old, just married her boyfriend, 19 years old.  I don't see the rush.  Sure, they are nice kids and all, but to get married so young astounds me.  I told my friend, and she just told me "This is Isaan.  We can do what we want".

On the other hand, I know Thai couples who have been together for years and have no intention of getting married.  They have no real reason for this, but why get married and spend all that money if everything is going great already? 

At times I wonder:  Do the Thais have it right?  Do they grow to love each other and make it work out?  Do us farang 'kid maak' and go looking for faults over a long period when we should just take the leap and go for it? 

Questions I have been asking myself lately.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think that Thai's, especially village Thai's can make a successful match more quickly because, let's face it, the people all have nearly the same values system and familial cultures. You won't be surprised to discover that you spouse doen't like rice...for instance. There's not that much variety in villages and whoever you marry will not be very different from any of the other prospects....just to try to calm the impending flames let me say that I do know that there are still alot of difference between village people like temperament etc.etc.etc. but I'm saying that on the average...compared to western couples...etc.etc.etc. Also, the divorce rate around here seems to be very high. Also, it seems to me that village couples don't make such demands on each other as westerners do. For instance, the men all go socialize and the women all go and socialize and there's not much expectation that the husband will want to socialize with his wives friends or that she will even want him to...and visa versa for wives socializing with husbands friends. Also, around here many husbands will move to another town or even another country to find employment...and we all know that absence makes the heart grow fonder....and further more blah blah blah....Village marriages between Thais are a different arrangement than what most westerners are looking for...based on my limited experience.

[donna]

"absence makes the heart grow fonder"

Someone once translated that to me as "the less I see you the more I like you".

[penelope]

Just thought this may make a interesting thread seeing as there have been so many about Thai wifes just latley.

I have been married for nearly a year now, and was courting the missus for 5 years. But I hear alot of stories about fella's getting married very quick. Not that I am saying there's anything wrong with it. But was wondering whether you think Thai women want to get married faster than Farang women? Is this just there traditional values? Or does marriage, seem less important to a Farang girl now days?

Bang..........

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

depends on the thai women..we dated/lived together for 4 years before marriage.on the flipside some men come to thailand on tourist visas and marry hookers after 30 days.

[SiamOne]

Sorry, just one more point.

Why should marriage be rushed when being in a relationship is just the same except when you are married, it's official. Why carn't you settle for holding onto your relationship a little longer before you decide to sign the papers and make it official because there are people out there that are not married, they also have children and lead happy lives, they aren't rushing and are going are there own pace and may decide to marry on a later date.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I thought the same as you, until I got married.

suddenly our relationship seemed to move into different way, we both seemed more relaxed with each other, and more happy even.

maybe the "committment made us feel very secure, we no need to worry about each others love? not sure, but it is good!!