Thai Wives

[gerrryuk]

..................... I tried to introduce her to lots of other Thais in the same situation - big mistake! Let her find her own friends and preferrably NOT Thai ones! There is so much gossiping going on amongst them. It causes a lot of trouble................

..................I believe they are a people totally unsuited to assimilation to other cultures. They will always stay Thai! ...............................

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My wife has been in England for about 10 days now & after 3 or 4 days thought that she thought she had made a big mistake. She seemed very unhappy, fidgetty, pessismistic and that Thai smile had gone, but as all Thai's would not speak her mind.

Took her to the Temple in Aston Birmingham & after talking to my mentor monk her attitude & outlook immediately changed and she is far happier. BUT ..... listen to this ........... he advised her NOT to make friends with Thai girls which surprised me enormously. Seems he thinks, that they are to catty, over jealous, to gossipy and cause trouble.

I think a job is important, love, support and trust and trying to get inside her mind, we also make a point of talking over the day for at least an hour each evening is helping. I think though that we are winning

[siamsam]

My Thai wife and I came to live in the uk three years ago. We return to see her folks and fix up her abode once a year. She says that if it wasn't for her family, and of course the food, she would never return to Thailand again. She thinks it is a corrupt, lawless shithole.............................Pretty much weighs up the uk IMO

[chonabot]

outlook immediately changed and she is far happier. BUT ..... listen to this ........... he advised her NOT to make friends with Thai girls which surprised me enormously. Seems he thinks, that they are to catty, over jealous, to gossipy and cause trouble.

I think a job is important, love, support and trust and trying to get inside her mind, we also make a point of talking over the day for at least an hour each evening is helping. I think though that we are winning[/b]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Mate you have a long way to go but seem to have the right attitude , hope it all works out for you 2. The Ajarn spoke wisely about other Thai ladies but you/she will meet some nice ones along the way. When I spent 3 years in Thailand , before meeting my wife I would say that 70% of the farang I met were pr1cks , and this was in various parts of the country. The ones I got along best with , apart from Thai, were usually not from my home country. Regards getting into the Thai way of thinking , I believe that you both can find a middle path of reasoning , a little give and take and a few years down the line work wonders.

[chonabot]

She thinks it is a corrupt, lawless shithole.............................Pretty much weighs up the uk IMO

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Spot on!

[meadish_sweetball]

It depends on what status she had before as well. Low status in local society means she will probably be more appreciative of the more equal treatment government affords in the west... If she has enjoyed a high status in Thailand though, I can see how it will be difficult for her to go to language classes with immigrants and asylum seekers from other countries and, as many do, end up with a job on the lower rung of the social ladder.

Since most Thai girls in the West seem to be from the Northeast, it is probably easier for Northeastern girls to feel at home and make friends with their countrywomen. I think my GF would have a hard time fitting in with some of the Isaan ladies I know from back home, and would be more likely to find farang lady friends. Same same, but different.

[siamsam]

Spot on! about the Uk or Thailand chonabot?.......................Me hope's you mean the uk

[chonabot]

Spot on! about the Uk or Thailand chonabot?.......................Me hope's you mean the uk

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh the UK , absolutely !

[siamsam]

Thought you did! Problem is, some of us have to live here

[a2396]

After my experience I would not take an Asian woman to live in my country (USA). This is from my experience of 7 years of marriage (now divorced) and living there with my previous wife (Malaysian Chinese). She was highly educated and spoke fluent English, but did not like the culture and the general lifestyles there. From my perspective, it is like going to another planet for some people. Anything generally goes in western countries and the standards and rules of behavior that may have applied in Thailand are no longer a factor. If she has hitched up with you for a ticket to "dreamland" (your country) - watch out she may not be around long. There are many temptations - younger, richer, and more handsome men than you, that can talk a good BS story. If she is young, niaeve and has poor language skills, she will be "ripe for pickin" from many negative factors.

[siamsam]

Not sure the o/p mentioned his girl hitching up with him for a ticket to "dreamland".........sounds like you had a bad experience. You're not old poor and ugly are you?

[Neeranam]

Casinos and Pokies are your biggest danger....seen many a marriage bust over this.

I'll second that, especially in Australia. I was there last week and saw a heap of Thais/Asians at the casino. I had trouble getting the wife to leave, after I forced myself to.

[donx]

My wife was excited at first when she moved to the US with me. Then after a while, she was bored and missed Thailand very much. Having a child to take care of made a big difference. Being able to drive was also a big help. Now that she has become friends with so many Thais here, she is much happier. As for Thai TV, we used to rent tapes. Now she watches doozija.com. Better than live Thai TV or Thai tapes. She recently returned from a 2 and a half month trip back home (with our kids) and I was surprised to hear her say that she has no desire for us to retire in Thailand as we have been planning to do.

[TRIPxCORE]

Casinos and Pokies are your biggest danger....seen many a marriage bust over this.

I'll second that, especially in Australia. I was there last week and saw a heap of Thais/Asians at the casino. I had trouble getting the wife to leave, after I forced myself to.

Well, I guess I'm glad I am not the only one that has this problem. Living in Las Vegas, it's inevitable that you will visit the casino every now and then. For my wife though, every free moment she has she wants to be in there gambling. She is like an addict. Buddha says gambling is bad right? Why do they so blantantly disregard this lesson but adhere to all the other ones? It makes no sense. If your going to follow a certain philosophy, i.e Buddhism, you don't get to pick and choose what you will obey or not. Before we moved here all I did was remind her that people that live in Vegas can't spend all their time in the casino. Of course she "yes dear" me to death and now doesnt listen. When I complain about it, she makes an argument about me wanting to prevent her from doing what makes her happy. I always counter with "Let's ask your father and the local monks back home how they feel about it". Her father is a good man and would be upset about it. Of course, when I say this, she gets really mad! What to do???????????

[donx]

Casinos and Pokies are your biggest danger....seen many a marriage bust over this.

I'll second that, especially in Australia. I was there last week and saw a heap of Thais/Asians at the casino. I had trouble getting the wife to leave, after I forced myself to.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, I guess I'm glad I am not the only one that has this problem. Living in Las Vegas, it's inevitable that you will visit the casino every now and then. For my wife though, every free moment she has she wants to be in there gambling. She is like an addict. Buddha says gambling is bad right? Why do they so blantantly disregard this lesson but adhere to all the other ones? It makes no sense. If your going to follow a certain philosophy, i.e Buddhism, you don't get to pick and choose what you will obey or not. Before we moved here all I did was remind her that people that live in Vegas can't spend all their time in the casino. Of course she "yes dear" me to death and now doesnt listen. When I complain about it, she makes an argument about me wanting to prevent her from doing what makes her happy. I always counter with "Let's ask your father and the local monks back home how they feel about it". Her father is a good man and would be upset about it. Of course, when I say this, she gets really mad! What to do???????????

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Tell her you lost her in a poker game? Maybe that would get her thinking.

[Kathe]

Just wondering......for all those married to a Thai lady that you have taken back to your homeland either to live or long holiday, how did they cope?  Did you have to come back?  Did it end your relationship?  What were the pros and cons?

I ask as I've got to start thinking seriously about my girl.  After nearly 2 years, I can't see myself living in Thailand for more than 2 more years, but when I think about it realistically, I don't reckon my girl could cope or be happy in OZ.  I can't bare the thought of going through both the expense and hassles of getting her in to the country, setting up a new life etc, for her to turn around and say "I want to go home!"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have been living in Europe for more than 20 years now, and I love to live there. It was really hard at the first years, culture shocked, weather, climate, eating, language and the feeling of being second citizen and most of all, being an exotic woman. Eventhough I did learn the third language before I came here, did learn the culture of my mr. and was very eager to know everything about this new country. I needed to adapt my life here.

If your girlfriend is educated, then I am sure she will get along easier and your language is English, not too differcult for her to communicate. There are many asian and thai people living in your country. She will feel at home if she has some contact with the same folks. And she must be very homesick if she doesnt have thai food. Many thais dream about getting a job and earning (lots of) money. They have mostly no idea how life is it, after walking out of the airport and nobody talks thai. Or living in a very quiet and small place, no thai at all , no thai food. The same as European living in thailand , without western convenient or food, nothing.

It's easier nowaday to live in Western country. Calling home isnt that expensive at all, and if she is able to use the PC, she shall enjoy and has less homesick. If she knows some thais, then she might like to live there. Give her more support and welcome from your relations too.

But too many thais, bring many problems too. Too many thais, too many nosey of course. Depending on character, which friend would she pick.

I used to help many thais when they have problems, but now I am trying to stay away, the more you help, the little you live in peace. That is the reason why I have many other nationalities friends, but few thai friends here.

If you really love your girlfriend and she's really loves you, she will always love to stay with you, nomatter where, on the desert or smallest and quiest town. Good luck kha.

[AmeriThai]

Where we live, sometimes it seems we have as many Thai people as there is in Thailand.

There's a Thai grocery market close to us.

My wife likes watching Thai soaps on CD or video.

There are loads of Thai style parties and get-togethers.

She's made tons of Thai and Lao friends here.

The inside of our house is decorated with things from Thailand.

There's a Thai wat close by.

She works at a Thai restaurant where we live.

And we make frequent phone calls to family and friends in Thailand.

However, she does miss the physical closeness with her family and friends, as well as everything else that's typical of Thailand. However, what we do is make frequent trips, at least once a year, to spend a month in Thailand. That really seems to help. The hardest part about going to Thailand, is when we have to leave Thailand. She seems to deal with that better than I do. But those trips back to LOS seems to work wonders for both of us. For her, because she doesn't feel like she's stuck away from family with no idea when she'll be able to see them again.

[dclaryjr]

Next February will mark the 30th anniversary of my wife's arrival in the U.S. Unlike what a lot of posters have said, she has had very few Thai friends other than one close friend that she used to work with in Thailand. She doesn't care for gambling. What she did was work at assimilating into her new surroundings. She went to work almost immediately which was a challenge because of her limited language skills. But I worked with her and refused to speak to her in that broken, BG style. To this day I correct her and she's eager to add to her vocabulary. She spent ten years waiting on tables at Denny's and made much more than her coworkers in tips because she realized good customer service got rewarded. She's always had a love of sports so she became a fan of American football (Emmitt Smith was her boy ). She also started running and working out and now, at the age of 60, she teaches several spinning (stationary cycling)classes a week. I guess it basically came down to attitude. She saw her new home as a land of opportunity and decided to make the best of it.

The tables will be turned in a few years when we retire in Thailand. I will be the Stranger in a Strange Land. I only hope I do half as well as adapting as she did.

[daleyboy]

Initially my wife found it very difficult when she came to the U.K. She was very lonely and got bored very quickly being stuck at home on her own.

I suggested to her she should go to the local college and get on a English course. She started this course 3 months after she arrived here. Within a couple of weeks she had made 5 or 6 friends, and since then she hasnt looked back. She now works full time as a chef has loads of friends goes out shopping on her own, jumping on buses and going into town and to see friends.

We have several Asian supermarkets in town so its easy for her to get all the food she likes.

Even after 3 1/2 years she still complains almost constantly about being cold, but hey you cant have everything in life.

I am very proud and have full respect for my wife, for coming to a foreign country on her own and not knowing anyone but me and getting on with it.

Imho it is alot easier for westeners travelling roung the world because we have been brought up like this. We are used to travelling and seeing differnt cultures, but for Thai people it is very hard for them to travel without visas etc. So anybody that makes thsi transition i have total repsect for them.

[the scouser]

Just wondering......for all those married to a Thai lady that you have taken back to your homeland either to live or long holiday, how did they cope?  Did you have to come back?  Did it end your relationship?  What were the pros and cons?

I ask as I've got to start thinking seriously about my girl.   After nearly 2 years, I can't see myself living in Thailand for more than 2 more years, but when I think about it realistically, I don't reckon my girl could cope or be happy in OZ.  I can't bare the thought of going through both the expense and hassles of getting her in to the country, setting up a new life etc, for her to turn around and say "I want to go home!"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have been living in Europe for more than 20 years now, and I love to live there. It was really hard at the first years, culture shocked, weather, climate, eating, language and the feeling of being second citizen and most of all, being an exotic woman. Eventhough I did learn the third language before I came here, did learn the culture of my mr. and was very eager to know everything about this new country. I needed to adapt my life here.

If your girlfriend is educated, then I am sure she will get along easier and your language is English, not too differcult for her to communicate. There are many asian and thai people living in your country. She will feel at home if she has some contact with the same folks. And she must be very homesick if she doesnt have thai food. Many thais dream about getting a job and earning (lots of) money. They have mostly no idea how life is it, after walking out of the airport and nobody talks thai. Or living in a very quiet and small place, no thai at all , no thai food. The same as European living in thailand , without western convenient or food, nothing.

It's easier nowaday to live in Western country. Calling home isnt that expensive at all, and if she is able to use the PC, she shall enjoy and has less homesick. If she knows some thais, then she might like to live there. Give her more support and welcome from your relations too.

But too many thais, bring many problems too. Too many thais, too many nosey of course. Depending on character, which friend would she pick.

I used to help many thais when they have problems, but now I am trying to stay away, the more you help, the little you live in peace. That is the reason why I have many other nationalities friends, but few thai friends here.

If you really love your girlfriend and she's really loves you, she will always love to stay with you, nomatter where, on the desert or smallest and quiest town. Good luck kha.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What a lovely post, Saothai, and so true, too.

Scouse.

[DavieA]

Just wondering......for all those married to a Thai lady that you have taken back to your homeland either to live or long holiday, how did they cope?  Did you have to come back?  Did it end your relationship?  What were the pros and cons?

I ask as I've got to start thinking seriously about my girl.   After nearly 2 years, I can't see myself living in Thailand for more than 2 more years, but when I think about it realistically, I don't reckon my girl could cope or be happy in OZ.  I can't bare the thought of going through both the expense and hassles of getting her in to the country, setting up a new life etc, for her to turn around and say "I want to go home!"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have been living in Europe for more than 20 years now, and I love to live there. It was really hard at the first years, culture shocked, weather, climate, eating, language and the feeling of being second citizen and most of all, being an exotic woman. Eventhough I did learn the third language before I came here, did learn the culture of my mr. and was very eager to know everything about this new country. I needed to adapt my life here.

If your girlfriend is educated, then I am sure she will get along easier and your language is English, not too differcult for her to communicate. There are many asian and thai people living in your country. She will feel at home if she has some contact with the same folks. And she must be very homesick if she doesnt have thai food. Many thais dream about getting a job and earning (lots of) money. They have mostly no idea how life is it, after walking out of the airport and nobody talks thai. Or living in a very quiet and small place, no thai at all , no thai food. The same as European living in thailand , without western convenient or food, nothing.

It's easier nowaday to live in Western country. Calling home isnt that expensive at all, and if she is able to use the PC, she shall enjoy and has less homesick. If she knows some thais, then she might like to live there. Give her more support and welcome from your relations too.

But too many thais, bring many problems too. Too many thais, too many nosey of course. Depending on character, which friend would she pick.

I used to help many thais when they have problems, but now I am trying to stay away, the more you help, the little you live in peace. That is the reason why I have many other nationalities friends, but few thai friends here.

If you really love your girlfriend and she's really loves you, she will always love to stay with you, nomatter where, on the desert or smallest and quiest town. Good luck kha.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What a lovely post, Saothai, and so true, too.

Scouse.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree Scouse.

Thanks for your feedback Saothai.....geng jung loy!

Where do you live now SaoThai?

[DavieA]

After my experience I would not take an Asian woman to live in my country (USA). This is from my experience of 7 years of marriage (now divorced) and living there with my previous wife (Malaysian Chinese). She was highly educated and spoke fluent English, but did not like the culture and the general lifestyles there. From my perspective, it is like going to another planet for some people. Anything generally goes in western countries and the standards and rules of behavior that may have applied in Thailand are no longer a factor. If she has hitched up with you for a ticket to "dreamland" (your country) - watch out she may not be around long. There are many temptations - younger, richer, and more handsome men than you, that can talk a good BS story. If she is young, niaeve and has poor language skills, she will be "ripe for pickin" from many negative factors.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sounds like you had a bad ride dude!

1/ I don't like American culture and lifestyle either dude!

2/ America is like another planet to anyone....not just Thais..dude.

3/ Anything goes....maybe in America dude! I live in Australia, it's far better...dude!

4/ Where not going to "Dreamland", that's in Queensland. I live in South Australia....dude!

5/ Temptations...Younger, richer, more handsome?.....I'm young (30), own my own house by the beach, and stunningly handsome dude! keke.

6/ Yes she is young (30), naive, average language skills.......but you know what? Our situation is different to yours, you know why?

I'm not a &lt;deleted&gt;, and my girlfriend has a heart of gold.......dude!

Thanks for your reply anyway

To all the other Americans that read this...don't pay attention please.

Edited August 27, 2005 by DavieA

[a2396]

After my experience I would not take an Asian woman to live in my country (USA). This is from my experience of 7 years of marriage (now divorced) and living there with my previous wife (Malaysian Chinese). She was highly educated and spoke fluent English, but did not like the culture and the general lifestyles there. From my perspective, it is like going to another planet for some people. Anything generally goes in western countries and the standards and rules of behavior that may have applied in Thailand are no longer a factor. If she has hitched up with you for a ticket to "dreamland" (your country) - watch out she may not be around long. There are many temptations - younger, richer, and more handsome men than you, that can talk a good BS story. If she is young, niaeve and has poor language skills, she will be "ripe for pickin" from many negative factors.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sounds like you had a bad ride dude!

1/ I don't like American culture and lifestyle either dude!

2/ America is like another planet to anyone....not just Thais..dude.

3/ Anything goes....maybe in America dude! I live in Australia, it's far better...dude!

4/ Where not going to "Dreamland", that's in Queensland. I live in South Australia....dude!

5/ Temptations...Younger, richer, more handsome?.....I'm young (30), own my own house by the beach, and stunningly handsome dude! keke.

6/ Yes she is young (30), naive, average language skills.......but you know what? Our situation is different to yours, you know why?

I'm not a &lt;deleted&gt;, and my girlfriend has a heart of gold.......dude!

Thanks for your reply anyway

To all the other Americans that read this...don't pay attention please.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes, I woiuld say I had a "bad ride". I just posted my experience for information and have no knowledge of your personal situation. Sounds like you don't have to worry about more handsome or richer dude and you are close in age. As for good ole USA, I don't particularly like the culture or lifestyle there either. That is one reason I don't live there any longer. However, many Chinese refer to it (America) as the "gold mountain", ie. dreamland. This may have been true in the past, but I think will be evolving downward, due many negative economic factors. It is no picnic living there, but most Asians, who have not been there, do not understand all the realities. As for "another planet", I have never been to Australia, but I think Europe is also another planet compared to Thailand or other SE Asian countries.

[brubo1]

The gambling talk in this discussion is a very valid point. My GF really couldn't get enough of it after the first taste. She learnt quickly. I told her no more money for gambling (pokies). She started picking strawberries for something to do and suddenly realised how much it takes to earn 50 dollars!

Only the occasional little fling now. There are still quite a few Thai girls that I know here that really are addicted to gambling - very sad scene.

[craigt3365]

We lived together in Thailand for about a year before moving to NYC. I have to say, it was tough at first. Very tough. My wife is not a BG, she is 24 now (much younger than me), and was living and working in Bangkok. So, somewhat use to the big city.

Initial problems? Language was #1. Not only with me (I call them lost in translation moments) but also in dealing with life here. BE PATIENT!!! She was initially too shy to go anywhere on her own. Just holed up in my apartment and watched reruns of old tv shows. Which actually kept her quite happy. I quickly enrolled her in an English class. And she met a ton of Asian girl friends. Strangely, she does not really want to meet other Thais. And I somewhat understand. They are very judgemental. And one turned out to be a bar girl who was a bit crazy. Her Japanese friends are her best friends. They get together a lot. And have a blast!

Food was #2, but we got that solved quickly by finding a local Thai store. I am amazed that you can get almost everything here! Comic books, food, videos, etc. So, she can cook her food, and she became very happy. Don't even think she will get use to farang food. Even after a year here, she still won't eat it. Though she does love Italian and we have sushi at least once a week. That BG won't eat anything but Issan food. Nothing! A real problem for her hubby.

House cleaning was #3. We take so much for granted here in the West. Saran wrap, tin foil, vacuum cleaners, comet, baggies, paper towels, handi wipes...all of these were foreign to her. It took a lot of patience to understand she knew nothing about what to use...and how to use it. I had to explain what each one was and how to use it. Now, everything is cool.

Probably the biggest issue was dealing with the shy Thai girl BS. Not wanting to ask questions, not wanting to say what she wants to do, going quiet when she is mad and not wanting to tell you why, etc. Drives ya crazy! Especially when everything is followed by "up to you". Ugghh!

The fact that you are a man, and older, and she is a woman, and younger. You make the decisions, and she will abide by them. Yes, she may get pissed off, but will just go quiet. When you ask what is wrong, you won't get the true answer.

And like you said about your GF, mine is not really motivated. She does not want to work and is very happy being a housewife. She is an AWESOME cook! I work at home most of the time and get great food for lunch and dinner every day. Man, what a hoot teaching her farang food. Even making a sandwich was funnier than ######. She can't understand why I eat them!

But with her not being motivated, a lot falls on me to be the activity planner. And since she won't take the lead, that puts a lot of pressure on me! I get tired of asking "tilac, what do you want to do today?" Tilac: "up to you". Me: "no, really, I want to do something for you". Tilac: "I loves you honey, up to you". Me: "Tilac. Tell me what you want to do!" Tilac: tears start to form in her eyes and she goes quiet. Ugghh!!!!

But, I have to say, I am an incredibly happy man. Especially after getting over this BS. I can't imagine being married, again, to a western woman. Just no way. And luckily, she does want to move back to Thailand. So, we are here for about a year more and then we move back.

Someone else commented about the phone calls back to Thailand. It is cheap! Do some research and you can find a service that is very inexpensive. She calls home at least once a week, for about an hour at a time. Perfect.

Best of luck!!!!!!

P.S. You are way off base on your comments regarding America. You obviously have not traveled much. Please don't generalize like that. I am not 100% happy with America either, but it is easy to dig up dirt on every country in the world. America is just an easy target right now.

[Totster]

.  My wife is not a BG,

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

How is this relevent to the topic..?

totster

[mrbojangles]

.  My wife is not a BG,

How is this relevent to the topic..?

totster

Yeah, it really annoys me too, when people open up with that line

[craigt3365]

Good point fellas. I guess the reason I mentioned it was due to the shyness factor. My wife is really very shy. My friends wife is not at all. She is out meeting other girls, taking the subway on her own, found the local temple on her own and adjusting much quicker than my wife.

My wife is outgoing, but only after you have been with her for some time. Otherwise, she is very, very quiet. Not independent. And does not like to go out of the house alone.

That is the only reason I pointed it out...sorry...

[chonabot]

Forgiven , my wife was a BG , now she's Mrs Chon.

[Totster]

Good point fellas.  I guess the reason I mentioned it was due to the shyness factor.  My wife is really very shy.  My friends wife is not at all.  She is out meeting other girls, taking the subway on her own, found the local temple on her own and adjusting much quicker than my wife. 

My wife is outgoing, but only after you have been with her for some time.  Otherwise, she is very, very quiet.  Not independent.  And does not like to go out of the house alone.

That is the only reason I pointed it out...sorry...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nope.. sorry... still can't see why it needed to be said..

Never mind, on with the topic..

totster

[DavieA]

We lived together in Thailand for about a year before moving to NYC.  I have to say, it was tough at first.  Very tough.  My wife is not a BG, she is 24 now (much younger than me), and was living and working in Bangkok.  So, somewhat use to the big city.

Initial problems? Language was #1. Not only with me (I call them lost in translation moments) but also in dealing with life here.  BE PATIENT!!!  She was initially too shy to go anywhere on her own.  Just holed up in my apartment and watched reruns of old tv shows. Which actually kept her quite happy.  I quickly enrolled her in an English class.  And she met a ton of Asian girl friends.  Strangely, she does not really want to meet other Thais.  And I somewhat understand.  They are very judgemental.  And one turned out to be a bar girl who was a bit crazy.  Her Japanese friends are her best friends.  They get together a lot.  And have a blast!

Food was #2, but we got that solved quickly by finding a local Thai store.  I am amazed that you can get almost everything here!  Comic books, food, videos, etc.  So, she can cook her food, and she became very happy.  Don't even think she will get use to farang food.  Even after a year here, she still won't eat it.  Though she does love Italian and we have sushi at least once a week.  That BG won't eat anything but Issan food.  Nothing! A real problem for her hubby.

House cleaning was #3.  We take so much for granted here in the West.  Saran wrap, tin foil, vacuum cleaners, comet, baggies, paper towels, handi wipes...all of these were foreign to her.  It took a lot of patience to understand she knew nothing about what to use...and how to use it.  I had to explain what each one was and how to use it.  Now, everything is cool.

Probably the biggest issue was dealing with the shy Thai girl BS.  Not wanting to ask questions, not wanting to say what she wants to do, going quiet when she is mad and not wanting to tell you why, etc.  Drives ya crazy!  Especially when everything is followed by "up to you".  Ugghh!

The fact that you are a man, and older, and she is a woman, and younger.  You make the decisions, and she will abide by them.  Yes, she may get pissed off, but will just go quiet.  When you ask what is wrong, you won't get the true answer.

And like you said about your GF, mine is not really motivated.  She does not want to work and is very happy being a housewife.  She is an AWESOME cook!  I work at home most of the time and get great food for lunch and dinner every day.  Man, what a hoot teaching her farang food.  Even making a sandwich was funnier than ######.  She can't understand why I eat them!

But with her not being motivated, a lot falls on me to be the activity planner.  And since she won't take the lead, that puts a lot of pressure on me!  I get tired of asking "tilac, what do you want to do today?"  Tilac: "up to you".  Me: "no, really, I want to do something for you".  Tilac: "I loves you honey, up to you".  Me: "Tilac.  Tell me what you want to do!"  Tilac: tears start to form in her eyes and she goes quiet.  Ugghh!!!!

But, I have to say, I am an incredibly happy man.  Especially after getting over this BS.  I can't imagine being married, again, to a western woman.  Just no way.  And luckily, she does want to move back to Thailand.  So, we are here for about a year more and then we move back.

Someone else commented about the phone calls back to Thailand.  It is cheap!  Do some research and you can find a service that is very inexpensive.  She calls home at least once a week, for about an hour at a time.  Perfect.

Best of luck!!!!!!

P.S. You are way off base on your comments regarding America.  You obviously have not traveled much.  Please don't generalize like that.  I am not 100% happy with America either, but it is easy to dig up dirt on every country in the world.  America is just an easy target right now.

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Thanks Craig...thoughtful post. Sounds like my gals alot like yours in many ways.

Sorry about the comments earlier about USA, maybe was a little harsh. To a3296, my appologies to, but don't let that 1 bad ride spoil it for your future. There are some really nice girls in LOS. Your points taken.