10 Years After

[govoner]

" -- the OP may have a wife but he is totally alone; he is just a pathetic, miserable old man, who has not for one instant thought (or cared) about the happiness or emotional well being of his wife, and he will continue to wallow in that misery till the end -- a just reward for his behavior.

what about all all the pathetic , miserable old men who have cared for their wives and girlfriends

and brought houses etc and still been shafted

congrats to the op, there are a lot of real green guys here

[Travel2003]

what about all all the pathetic , miserable old men who have cared for their wives and girlfriends

and brought houses etc and still been shafted

congrats to the op, there are a lot of real green guys here

So you think it's ok only because other men have been shafted by other women?

How old are you?

I strongly disagree with the OP behavor, but he has the right to do whatever he wants.

[govoner]

So you think it's ok only because other men have been shafted by other women?

How old are you?

I strongly disagree with the OP behavor, but he has the right to do whatever he wants.

no i think its ok because he told her the deal from the start and she accepted it .

thailand is full of guys sobbing into their beers because they did not lay down any rules from the start, and got walked all over

age has nothing to do with it

[JurgenG]

Actually...not to be a downer, yes, if you are talking about the semi-attractive or regularly cute, than there is loads of them out there that haven't sold themselves. When it comes to the real attractive ones that also would be open to interacting with a foreigner...you would be hard-pressed to ever find anyone that is pure as snow...even if that only includes sleeping with a guy and then asking him for a loan the next morning and never pay it back...

Real attractive to who ?

If you ask a Thai, he usually doesn't understand falang's taste in woman, and, honestly, me neither.

[Thailaw]

what about all all the pathetic , miserable old men who have cared for their wives and girlfriends

and brought houses etc and still been shafted

congrats to the op, there are a lot of real green guys here

You are absolutely right, there are a lot of lonely, desperate men from the west that have come to Thailand and thought that they could "buy" love, only to find that they were just renting it (and at a very high rent indeed) -- live and learn. It sounds like you may have been one of them, and are delighting in "the payback" one Thai woman is getting for the shafting given by others (maybe yours). No doubt that men need to be careful with their emotions and their money -- never give what you cannot afford to lose ( a good lesson for the "green" guys here). But the OP's actions are the "shafting" in reverse, and it is equally wrong either way.....

[LazarusEffect]

what about all all the pathetic , miserable old men who have cared for their wives and girlfriends

and brought houses etc and still been shafted

congrats to the op, there are a lot of real green guys here

You are absolutely right, there are a lot of lonely, desperate men from the west that have come to Thailand and thought that they could "buy" love, only to find that they were just renting it (and at a very high rent indeed) -- live and learn. It sounds like you may have been one of them, and are delighting in "the payback" one Thai woman is getting for the shafting given by others (maybe yours). No doubt that men need to be careful with their emotions and their money -- never give what you cannot afford to lose ( a good lesson for the "green" guys here). But the OP's actions are the "shafting" in reverse, and it is equally wrong either way.....

The OP isn't "Shafting" anyone, his wife is lucky to have what she dose considering she brings 2 kids from another man to the table.

[WhingeingMoaners]

I don't see many pearls among male farangs either; usually I see plenty of ordinary stones. The sheer desperation of some Thai women from a certain group must be such that they have to resort to picking mediocre gravel as their beloved precious. Then again creatures from the same category will always mate with one another.

[Thailaw]

The OP isn't "Shafting" anyone, his wife is lucky to have what she dose considering she brings 2 kids from another man to the table.

Your body may have experienced the "Lararus effect", but your brain is still waiting -- "flat wave" all the way............

[Travel2003]

no i think its ok because he told her the deal from the start and she accepted it .

thailand is full of guys sobbing into their beers because they did not lay down any rules from the start, and got walked all over

age has nothing to do with it

Once again, OP's life and relationship has absolutely nothing to do with what other people experience.

The age thing was just an expression to say you seem immature when you think its ok to do something just because other people have done it.

[Travel2003]

..........considering she brings 2 kids from another man to the table.

Is she?

I thought OP proudly announced his wife paid everything for her kids.

Even if she did bring the kids to the table, what is actually so special about that?

Considering that almost 50% of all marriages in the world fails, there are probably a lot of single mothers whom re-marries.

They all bring something with them.

It is almost unbelievable that so many members here seem to think it is so bad when single mothers re-marry and bring their children from the previous marriage with them.

I guess we all can't come from a strong Christian home where mom and dad stays together forever, only because the scripts say so.

[dumball]

Well , in all fairness to both of the individuals in the OP's post , every individual has the choice to make thier own decision in what they would like to do in thier life and how acceptable any agreement is to them in regards to the future and the future of any children involved . This lady was not 'Shanghied nor was she dragged forcibly to some foriegn land by a skinflint (by whos definition?), she made a choice which has turned out good for all concerned , how many Thai children have the chance of a good university education ? .

Her future life is assured as is that of her children , no thanks to the misserable excuse of a husband who indiscrinately abandoned her and her children for whatever reason , he simply 'Threw her to the wolves ' .The Swiss man should be commended for giving her the oportunity that many , many Thai ladies would appreciate , so why all of the caustic comments toward a man none of you know or how in fact he has actualy treated her in the years they have co-habited ?

With all of the men I have talked to or read about in thier liasons with Thai ladies , most has been a sob story of how the Thai lady ripped them off of all thier savings and left them destitute or at least in desparate straights . Those were the fortunate ones , others were disposed of in not so glorious a manner , for what , a few sheckles they had not the patience to wait for .

Congratulations Swissy , you gave your wife the chance of her lifetime , I am sure she appreciates what you have enabled both her and her 2 children to achieve in thier lives whilst connected to you , shame on the jealosies and falabilities of the rest .

[Wallaby]

..........considering she brings 2 kids from another man to the table.

Is she?

I thought OP proudly announced his wife paid everything for her kids.

This is the thing that gets me most. I don't like the way the OP is basically boasting that he has a great girl that is doing everything the way he wants it and the kids are left with someone else. Where is your sense of responsibility man?

If you find the girl you love and marry her, you not only get her but you get everything, all the bells and whistles. Kids aren't chattels and it is disgusting you are treating them as such. You have her, you have her kids as well. I just can't believe you can live with yourself knowing the person you love is seperated from her children because you are too tight arsed and smug.

It isn't too late, why not step up to the plate and be a man. If you aren't willing to take on ALL responsibilities then perhaps it is best that you found a wife that didn't have children. Set her free, let her have the next 10 years catching up on the lost years of her childrens lives.

Here endeth the rant.

[dumball]

'Wallaby' timestamp='1295102602' post='4153720']

Travel2003' timestamp='1295099399' post='4153640']timestamp='1295091031' post='4153446']

..........considering she brings 2 kids from another man to the table.

Is she?

I thought OP proudly announced his wife paid everything for her kids.

This is the thing that gets me most. I don't like the way the OP is basically boasting that he has a great girl that is doing everything the way he wants it and the kids are left with someone else. Where is your sense of responsibility man?

If you find the girl you love and marry her, you not only get her but you get everything, all the bells and whistles. Kids aren't chattels and it is disgusting you are treating them as such. You have her, you have her kids as well. I just can't believe you can live with yourself knowing the person you love is seperated from her children because you are too tight arsed and smug.

It isn't too late, why not step up to the plate and be a man. If you aren't willing to take on ALL responsibilities then perhaps it is best that you found a wife that didn't have children. Set her free, let her have the next 10 years catching up on the lost years of her childrens lives.

Here endeth the rant.

Why not tell that to the person who fathered her children , the irrisponsible Atypical THAI husband , knonw of many such as he .

[TAWP]

Actually...not to be a downer, yes, if you are talking about the semi-attractive or regularly cute, than there is loads of them out there that haven't sold themselves. When it comes to the real attractive ones that also would be open to interacting with a foreigner...you would be hard-pressed to ever find anyone that is pure as snow...even if that only includes sleeping with a guy and then asking him for a loan the next morning and never pay it back...

Real attractive to who ?

If you ask a Thai, he usually doesn't understand falang's taste in woman, and, honestly, me neither.

That is because most farangs are together with not attractive women.

I am talking about attractive that truly is - i.e. where both Thai, Indian, Japanese and farang men will agree in unison that, yes, that girl is indeed attractive.

[old wanderer]

..........considering she brings 2 kids from another man to the table.

Is she?

I thought OP proudly announced his wife paid everything for her kids.

This is the thing that gets me most. I don't like the way the OP is basically boasting that he has a great girl that is doing everything the way he wants it and the kids are left with someone else. Where is your sense of responsibility man?

If you find the girl you love and marry her, you not only get her but you get everything, all the bells and whistles. Kids aren't chattels and it is disgusting you are treating them as such. You have her, you have her kids as well. I just can't believe you can live with yourself knowing the person you love is seperated from her children because you are too tight arsed and smug.

It isn't too late, why not step up to the plate and be a man. If you aren't willing to take on ALL responsibilities then perhaps it is best that you found a wife that didn't have children. Set her free, let her have the next 10 years catching up on the lost years of her childrens lives.

Here endeth the rant.

Well let us not be too harsh....I have already stated these kind of threads really disgust me. However maybe my primary basis is wrong.....that basis is.

"You can't take it with you"

Maybe the Swiss miser has found a way???

And for all of you Farang's that have been or have friends that have been "shafted". Maybe you failed to communicate.

Early on in my marriage, I took time to open the wife's eye's about "family and friends". Who is who and how to judge them. Just last week I saw her using these lessons. After a group of 6 Thai ladies were at our house for food and talk, my wife came downstairs and sat next to me.

"Nok no good. She told Pa she would never pay anything for me as I have too much money. I already buy her food, candy, and even some cloths when we went shopping" In my lessons I showed her how real friends share and do what they can within their means. People that are just user will use. She sees this clearly now, and applies these observations to both family and friends.

Many years ago we went to her tiny village from America. She brought almost 70 pounds of clothing. She had always brought some clothing to her village even before we met. I told her to observe and see how many of the people taking things bothered to even thank her....Maybe 30 people were there, only 2 thanked her. Now when she takes clothing, she gives each piece to someone she selects, gone are the days of just dumping a bunch of stuff out on a table and have people grab whatever they think is expensive or they can sell.

It is a responsibility each of us have, if we wish to judge by our standards, then we much teach those standards to our mate and have them see the value in hose standards, or change our standards and adopt another that we find better.

[needforspeed]

So after 10 years of marraige to a skingy guy who didnt have the decency to even help her out with her kids, who incidently you left in Thailand

you offer her about 5000 Euros.

Deep inside she resents you buster! thats for sure.

Oh and a message to you you sanctimonious tip of a needle............

Wherever a girl comes from or what she has done to survive dont relate

to the quality of person she is and there are many ex-bargirls that i know of

that make beautiful wives and partners , and many even care for their

husbands kids from a previous marraige(UNLIKE YOU)!!

You understand little of Thailand so better you keep your assets

in Swiss..... even better, stay there yourself Richard Head!

What a load of B.S

Why should the OP help out with anything for her Kids ? They are nothing to do with him and he doesnt have to do anything . I would never help raise some elses kids ( unless they were related to me by blood ) . I have a kid and i would never expect anyone else to provide for them.

As for understanding Thailand he doesnt need to he lives in Europe.

I am willing to guess you support your wifes family.. all her ' brothers ' her sisters Mum Dad and the whole village... wake up not everyone is that scared of losing there woman that they have to pay to keep her. If the OPs Wife doesnt like what she has , she knows there the door is.

Adopted a child not my blood but happy to raise it.

[pjclark1]

Her future life is assured as is that of her children , no thanks to the misserable excuse of a husband who indiscrinately abandoned her and her children for whatever reason , he simply 'Threw her to the wolves ' .The Swiss man should be commended for giving her the oportunity that many , many Thai ladies would appreciate , so why all of the caustic comments toward a man none of you know or how in fact he has actualy treated her in the years they have co-habited ?

How do you know she ever had a (Thai) husband? If there was information posted on that I didn't notice it.

For all we know she was a working girl (no insult intended, but most of the ladies I know who leave their kids with random relatives are pros)

I am totally happy to take care of my girls daughter and pay for her upbringing.

Edited January 16, 2011 by pjclark1

[old wanderer]

Does Karma exist???? Or maybe something else that is the same but by a different name.

How self-righteous so many sound here. On and on about how a woman's children by somebody else should not be your concern.

Now I am an old geezer, and had the pleasure of passing through the 60's with money and a free spirit. It was a life where aids was unknown, and the sex was just a pleasant pastime.

One of the few things I do regret is my lack of personal responsibility back in those days, as I was none to careful in where I spilled my seeds. I was pretty much a silver-tongue-devil, that took delight in winning the hearts of pretty young ladies. Only to leave for the next challenge. There is no doubt in my mind I have heirs that I have never known about. Worse, when I would sometimes get letters, or a word from a friend of a friend, I would just ignore it, as it was 8000 miles away.

I am sure that my background is not unique, so I would find it extremely difficult to pass judgment of how some woman ends up with a few kids. The least I could do now, is to try and pay some of my debt burden I have accumulated in my irresponsible life style some years ago. While I leave a lot of this to my wife, (just so I do not get tempted) we do have people that work for us, that for what ever reason have children without fathers. To give some employment, and provide education for their children is a small price to pay.

[JurgenG]

That is because most farangs are together with not attractive women.

I am talking about attractive that truly is - i.e. where both Thai, Indian, Japanese and farang men will agree in unison that, yes, that girl is indeed attractive.

You assume a lot ...

Then to have everybody to agree, it's not so obvious. There was this Thai supermodel who is not doing so well lately, you can ask Thais, a lot of them don't really understand what people found in this girl ...

Then in beauty there is much more than the physical appearance otherwise you're just talking of a sexual object (try google realdoll). Some of us (I hope most ...) prefer more "human" person.

Just to finish, plastic beauty is not what is most important in a super model, a good make-up artist can correct a lot of things, and then there is Photoshop ....

[longballlarry]

well done you're brilliant

[TAWP]

That is because most farangs are together with not attractive women.

I am talking about attractive that truly is - i.e. where both Thai, Indian, Japanese and farang men will agree in unison that, yes, that girl is indeed attractive.

You assume a lot ...

Then to have everybody to agree, it's not so obvious. There was this Thai supermodel who is not doing so well lately, you can ask Thais, a lot of them don't really understand what people found in this girl ...

Then in beauty there is much more than the physical appearance otherwise you're just talking of a sexual object (try google realdoll). Some of us (I hope most ...) prefer more "human" person.

Just to finish, plastic beauty is not what is most important in a super model, a good make-up artist can correct a lot of things, and then there is Photoshop ....

Oh, don't worry, I know of several Thai 'movie stars' that are not attractive - hence they do not fall into my definition as both local and foreign people [in general] should find them attractive to fall under the definition.

If anyone think they have such a lady - and that has a pure background - step forward and share. But the fact remains...I know a lot of attractive girls [via friend of friend from the beginning] and while several of them are married to wealthy foreigners almost all of them have some baggage that would make some users here label them in some way. Not that they are bad people (ok, I know some that are too, but that is true for 'not the top-attractive' too) but some choices in life might not run in perfect sync with some western 'purity' that some posters advocate.

Flaws and a history can be found in almost all - sometimes even more so when it comes to the top 5% in terms of beauty.

But yes, when it comes to the not so attractive one can find good ones [that have never had a chance to do thew wrong thing] - making it even worse when some pick non-attractive that is just bad...falling in love with the first smile when we get off the plane on a vacation? Tsk tsk.

[JurgenG]

^ From the Bible : "Let him among you who is without sin be the first to send a stone at her."

What I'm saying is your "stunner" is not everybody's cup of tea.

You seem to think that your criteria for a "stunner" are universal. What I'm saying is there are not.

Can we agree to disagree ?

[TheWalkingMan]

^ From the Bible : "Let him among you who is without sin be the first to send a stone at her."

What I'm saying is your "stunner" is not everybody's cup of tea.

You seem to think that your criteria for a "stunner" are universal. What I'm saying is there are not.

Can we agree to disagree ?

JurgenG - correct. Everyone has different tastes in women.

I learn this fact about 30 years ago when a call girl company got busted in California. The report said that all sizes, shapes and colors were there for a price.

I have seen some pics of "stunners" posted on other nightlife boards and I cringe! But that is OK as we all have various ideas of what is hot and what is not. Thank the gods for that.

TheWalkingMan

[dumball]

'pjclark1' timestamp='1295141105' post='4154156']

dumball' timestamp='1295102159' post='4153709']

Her future life is assured as is that of her children , no thanks to the misserable excuse of a husband who indiscrinately abandoned her and her children for whatever reason , he simply 'Threw her to the wolves ' .The Swiss man should be commended for giving her the oportunity that many , many Thai ladies would appreciate , so why all of the caustic comments toward a man none of you know or how in fact he has actualy treated her in the years they have co-habited ?

How do you know she ever had a (Thai) husband? If there was information posted on that I didn't notice it.

For all we know she was a working girl (no insult intended, but most of the ladies I know who leave their kids with random relatives are pros)

I am totally happy to take care of my girls daughter and pay for her upbringing.

" He gave us eyes to see them and lips that we may tell ", Thy eyes are dim you cannot see , thou doth not bring thy specs with thee . Right there in his first post the OP stated "her two children from a previous marriage " .

Have you a plan to assure your 'girls ' daughter a university education and a good pension to assure the future lives of your 'girl' and her daughter are successfully taken care of when your ashes blow away in the morning breeze ? .

It is far , far easier to critisize than to achieve what many seek , the proof of the pudding is always in the eating , good luck in your endeavors .

[Thailaw]

Following is a post by Xerostar earlier today in a thread in the Family and Children sub-forum -- note the parts in bold and the enlarged font (added by me) and how different (and refreshingly correct) they are in comparison to the words of the OP and his warped sympathizers:

I retired to Thailand in 2008 aged 65 and I was going to apply for the Australain pension.

I did not have a lot of savings at that time, although I'd established a nice home and farm

for my wife and her extended family.

In February 2009 my wife unexpectedly became pregnant with our daughter, now aged 17 months.

We have now been married for 5 years.

I have two Thai stepsons aged 16 and 11.

I have had to return to Australia to get employment.

I need to save as much as I can while I'm still able to work.

I have a duty to give my children a good education.

The 16 year old wasn't interested in school but he is now helping on the family farm.

We brought the 11 year old boy with us and he attends a primary school in Perth and he loves it.

He will be finished high school by the time our daughter is of school age so we intend

to move back to Thailand then.

I'm keen to buy a house in Nakhon Sawan which is about 85 Km from the farm.

We hope to give our daughter an education at an international school there if we can afford it.

I don't want her to attend a Thai country school where corporal punishment

and bullying is rife, as well as the poor education system and unhygienic conditions.

Depending on his achievments our 11 year old may hopefully be ready for university by then.

Eventually if all goes well, our daughter could attend high school or university in Thailand or Australia.

It's a tough job at my age, but I have to do my best for them or at least die trying.

I don't want to have any regrets about opportunities they should have had, when I'm on my death bed.

One thing is for sure, our daughter has given me the motivation I need.

We are very proud of her and she is the light of our life!

Read Xerostar's story carefully and think about what he is saying -- he is a man with compassion and love in his heart. In comparison, the Op's story makes me want to vomit! I wonder what the Op will be thinking on his death bed.

[pjclark1]

Have you a plan to assure your 'girls ' daughter a university education and a good pension to assure the future lives of your 'girl' and her daughter are successfully taken care of when your ashes blow away in the morning breeze ? .

It is far , far easier to critisize than to achieve what many seek , the proof of the pudding is always in the eating , good luck in your endeavors .

Yes, I have, funding is already in place (although I expect to not be dead at that time).

Daughter will be trained as a doctor, if she can do well enough in high school.

She doesn't actually have to do well in high school as bribe money is available, but no point in telling her that.

I'm going to give her the chance to do it by herself first.

Edited January 16, 2011 by pjclark1

[JurgenG]

Yes, I have, funding is already in place (although I expect to not be dead at that time).

Daughter will be trained as a doctor, if she can do well enough in high school.

She doesn't actually have to do well in high school as bribe money is available, but no point in telling her that.

I'm going to give her the chance to do it by herself first.

Me I sponsor kids to join the police. IMO, on the long term, it's more profitable.

And honestly, a bad policeman can't make as much damage as a bad doctor, can he ?

[TAWP]

^ From the Bible : "Let him among you who is without sin be the first to send a stone at her."

What I'm saying is your "stunner" is not everybody's cup of tea.

You seem to think that your criteria for a "stunner" are universal. What I'm saying is there are not.

Can we agree to disagree ?

Ofc taste is individual, but if you take 100 men and ask...you get a decent approximation per woman.

In anyway, yes, there could be a case that some guys that are with the non-attractive ones I have seen are infact finding them attractive. That would explain why so many here on the board seem to be happy to find 'good' ones that also look 'good'...

[Straight8]

So after 10 years of marraige to a skingy guy who didnt have the decency to even help her out with her kids, who incidently you left in Thailand

you offer her about 5000 Euros.

Deep inside she resents you buster! thats for sure.

Oh and a message to you you sanctimonious tip of a needle............

Wherever a girl comes from or what she has done to survive dont relate

to the quality of person she is and there are many ex-bargirls that i know of

that make beautiful wives and partners , and many even care for their

husbands kids from a previous marraige(UNLIKE YOU)!!

You understand little of Thailand so better you keep your assets

in Swiss..... even better, stay there yourself Richard Head!

On the contrary he may know more than you davey.

Well done to the OP for not being another stat in this wonderful country and being taking in the milking pen and bleached daily.

Many ex-bargirls... must the joke of the day, you nearly had me there.

[Straight8]

I really do not understand why people are jumping on the OP. He laid out exactly how he felt about providing support and that he was not going to make any significant investments in Thailand. The gentlemen who have already lost significant monies would have been wise to follow his lead.

As far as his wife insisting on paying 50% of the monthly expenses.... Fantastic! How many guys would kill to have a Thai woman who wants to work, send her own money home AND contribute 50% to the household expenses. Most of the stories I have heard are of the woman working and keeping the money while the husband still provides her support. If she loves you, can cook, floats your boat, is a great conversationalist and has her own money??!!... Jackpot, f'ng Jackpot!

Of course there are the monied up thaivisa.com members who are rolling in the stuff and are able to provide monies to her family back home for land, houses, holidays, university education, medical expenses, food, parties, cars, motorbikes etc. Good for you.

I tip my hat to the OP as he made sure that everything was done fairly.

TheWalkingMan

Well said Walking.

Couldn't agree more.