Being Single In Thailand

[MJP]

Sorry Lovelomsak

What my Thai ladies wanted to do for me (assuming a relationship of 3+ days/dates/purchases)

Cook, clean, wash clothes, wash me, cut my toe and fingernails, clean my earwax, extract my nasal hairs.

Not going into details about sex but most of them I have encountered also seem to be keen at least once a day.

I don't know where you have been finding ones that think the house cleans itself, food arrives in plakky bags, or washing should be sent out.

I just hate it when they attack with scissors, wanting to trim my bits!

The first 3 months are always insane in this aspect, they will do anything you ask and don't ask of them. After that, well...you made the mistake of falling for them, now it is your turn to pay back - for life.

In conclusion, I love my gf and if she reads this: hny, I didn't mean you, you are always great. Don't hit me!

This is correct.

I've had years of pain which I've suffered until tonight, when my soon to be cheating thieving lying vile ex-wife killed my dog.

I adored that dog.

Now I'm going to turn the pain right up and coincidentally had a long meeting with my lawyer just last night.

Like I say. Great country to be single in, very single.

[pjclark1]

The first 3 months are always insane in this aspect, they will do anything you ask and don't ask of them. After that, well...you made the mistake of falling for them, now it is your turn to pay back - for life.

In conclusion, I love my gf and if she reads this: hny, I didn't mean you, you are always great. Don't hit me!

It's been 12 months with my current lady now, no reduction in the service or attention.

[Thongkorn]

You only get out of a relationship what you put in, you are deluding yourself if you pay for a woman /lady that includes buying things for her and keeping her like a pet. just feeding them . there is a lot more to life . companionship for one.

[sunholidaysun1]

Being married is great , being single is also great , do what I do and have a bit of both , im married when im with her , single when im not

[IanForbes]

I was a single man in Thailand in the 80's. Rode the ragged edge, been there, did that, gave away the t-shirts. Then I got married, then separated and finally divorced before I left. Stayed single in other countries like Australia, Cuba, Brazil and the US (plenty girlfriends and one fiancée) but was very, very happy being single.

However, before I left the US, I found my self in an age group that was racing towards terminal loneliness. You know how it goes, you have hundreds of 'friends' but in reality, they are people you only know by first name who happen to hang in the same bars, clubs and sports venues as you. Valentine's loses it's allure when you don't have a real date. When you dine by yourself, why is it the maitre'd seats you in the far corner beside the shithouse whilst the nice comfy booths get given to love struck, good looking young couples? Now that could just be the city I was living in (for over 10 years) or lack of real distractions and hobbies. I had three real good buddies back there, me being the middle-aged of the group. Out drinking together one night at the height of our 'happy bachelorhood', the oldest one, an avowed bachelor for life, claimed this was the best way to live for most of the reasons stated by lovelomsak (before he lost the plot about Thai women). One guy the same age as me agreed with him. Since I was the only one that had been married before, the guys said my opinion didn't really count for much. The youngest took one look at us and said there was no way that he wanted to be just like us in ten more years, ie. four old lonely guys in a bar.

Move on ten years and I relocated back to Thailand. I observed lots of lonely older guys having a whale of a time, be it 7-year itch, male menopause, finally divorcing that b*tch (but I'm not bitter) or simple mid-life crisis. But my (younger) buddy's comment was always in the back of my mind. I popped back to the US for a visit and arranged to hook up for beers with my buddies. There they were, 10 years on, older and more lonely but only three of them. The other one, closer to my age, had been going to Brazil on business, relocated to his employers office there and married the girl he had been dating off and on for a year. Sure the oldest was still happy but the youngest was pretty upset when I reminded him of what he said 10 years earlier. He was even more upset when I said I had met someone special in Thailand and marriage may be on the cards. Three months later, when my Thai girlfriend said she would like to have a baby, we got married. My son will be three come April; just 3 months older than my mates Brazilian baby boy.

As it stands now, the old geezer is still married to the bar in the US, the guy in Brazil, like myself, is working on another baby (man, that's fun!) and the youngest one is casting around mercilessly for Mrs Right instead of Miss Right Now. He is also my son's Godfather.

Don't let bachelorhood have too much fun with you and leave you standing gasping for breath, alone on the platform as the last train of emotional fulfillment, true unconditional love and everlasting happiness pulls away.

(Ooooh... that last bit's good eh?)

Good post, NanLaew. Take it as it comes, ride it for as long as possible, and if you have to leave then do so with no regrets.

Here is a poem I wrote on the subject.

Shed no tears

Shed no tears for me my friend

I’ve lived the life I chose

And the prickly pear I left behind

I once thought was a rose

Memories of a distant past

Haunt me occasionally

Then I look around and realize

I’m were I want to be

There’s much to learn and understand

Life’s messages are taught

With hurts and pains, and sometimes gains

It’s never done for naught

All I ask is one more ride

And reach the count of eight

Then I will smile and thank the Lord

For making the specter wait.

.

[jazzbo]

I’m were I want to be ... I will smile and thank the Lord ... and say please send me a professional editor... NB the 'poet' has said many times that he is a professional writer.

I used to spend time in Sumatra where I would say there is no fooling around with the young women ... you have to first marry them ... but you can marry three.

[joorakee]

Having been single in Canada for 57 years I am 200% in agreement with the OP. Life for a single man is great in Thailand.

Being single can be great - no matter which country you live in - but, as it has already been said, not for everyone. Some people cannot stand loneliness and the lack of stability. Some are worried about their future when they get old, etc.

For me it's very convenient to have no obligations/commitments. I divide my time between three countries (my home country=Poland, Japan and Thailand) what would be much more difficult if I had a girlfriend, let alone a wife.

I don't live in the LOS permanently (not yet...), I spend here only (a part of) the winter, and I can't imagine myself leaving my GF back home saying to her "See ya in March when it's already warm in Europe". I think I couldn't be such a scoundrel.

There is one more thing: I like both European and Asian girls and living on both continents alternately enables me to enjoy the two worlds.

[IanForbes]

I'm were I want to be ... I will smile and thank the Lord ... and say please send me a professional editor... NB the 'poet' has said many times that he is a professional writer.

I used to spend time in Sumatra where I would say there is no fooling around with the young women ... you have to first marry them ... but you can marry three.

Thanks for searching for mistakes, jazzbo. As I've said many times... I can write, but I'm not a good typist. I make typos all the time. Some I catch and some I miss, but that is what editors are for.

As the old saying goes... Those that can, do. Those that can't, search for other peoples mistakes. It makes a good balance.

Edited January 19, 2011 by IanForbes

[mrbkk]

lol you have picked it like a dirty nose

Now that you have got this off your chest - you will get over her soon enough.

You know the old saying, better to have loved and lost, than have loved and lost big time.

[mrbkk]

sounds like someones going to die a lonely old man

Having been single in Canada for 57 years I am 200% in agreement with the OP. Life for a single man is great in Thailand. A man can have a maid to do the cleaning ,a woman to wash his clothes, eat all his meals in restaurants. And date available women as long as he has disposable income. I came to Thailand tried marriage what a waste of time and money. Also if a man really wants a good woman who will take care of him and can clean a house properly and cook and is a good lover,then he should look at Philippinas or Vietnam women. Thai women seem to think the house cleans itself and meals should be brought home in plastic bags or eaten in restaurants and of course anyone with a foreign husband doesnot do laundry but sends it out. So why bother being a patsy. I think to be truly happy in thailand a man should stay single.

[jazzbo]

As the old saying goes... Those that can, do...(etc.) I most certainly can do and do quite often ... I just choose to do it some place other than George's inconsequential playground ...

Courtesy of David Mamet's script for The Verdict:

Listen to me. Listen to me ...listen to me, Frank, 'cause I'm done fuc_kin' with you. I can't do it any more. But I'm through.... I'm sorry, Frank, this is the end. (beat) Life is too short, and I'm too old. (Beat)

Edited January 19, 2011 by jazzbo

[happyrobert]

Sorry Lovelomsak

What my Thai ladies wanted to do for me (assuming a relationship of 3+ days/dates/purchases)

Cook, clean, wash clothes, wash me, cut my toe and fingernails, clean my earwax, extract my nasal hairs.

Not going into details about sex but most of them I have encountered also seem to be keen at least once a day.

I don't know where you have been finding ones that think the house cleans itself, food arrives in plakky bags, or washing should be sent out.

I just hate it when they attack with scissors, wanting to trim my bits!

The first 3 months are always insane in this aspect, they will do anything you ask and don't ask of them. After that, well...you made the mistake of falling for them, now it is your turn to pay back - for life.

In conclusion, I love my gf and if she reads this: hny, I didn't mean you, you are always great. Don't hit me!

The first three months? Absolutely correct! This is why the puchai at Thai immigration made visa runs for every 90 days for long-term guests! THEY KNOW! Thanks, immigration, for a way out. And it is why you will never hear me complain about a run - (even if my visa doesn't require one - sshhhh!)

I am definitely single-minded. The only thing I can think of is: so many almond-eyed lovlies, so little time....

[NanLaew]

Sorry Lovelomsak

What my Thai ladies wanted to do for me (assuming a relationship of 3+ days/dates/purchases)

Cook, clean, wash clothes, wash me, cut my toe and fingernails, clean my earwax, extract my nasal hairs.

Not going into details about sex but most of them I have encountered also seem to be keen at least once a day.

I don't know where you have been finding ones that think the house cleans itself, food arrives in plakky bags, or washing should be sent out.

I just hate it when they attack with scissors, wanting to trim my bits!

The first 3 months are always insane in this aspect, they will do anything you ask and don't ask of them. After that, well...you made the mistake of falling for them, now it is your turn to pay back - for life.

In conclusion, I love my gf and if she reads this: hny, I didn't mean you, you are always great. Don't hit me!

Ooooh... domestic violence. I have mostly managed to escape that. However, in retrospect, when I wasn't in a relationship here, I always had to look up the price of gold.

[Loz]

Single Life rocks but after a while I find myself missing the dating game. Not the Thai version. But british version. The one where being black doesn't make you a scary monster. The one where smart women judge you on your looks, manners, intellect and position in society. The one where women try and impress you or show thier compatibility with you by being able to discuss your interests (dare I say sharing your interests?) and all this while maintaining a degree of independence because they like to feel they don't need you, but they may "want" you. kind of like who men were raised since the year dot.

The thai version which seems to largly comprise versions of "your as interested in money as I am" is less interesting to me.

[bermondburi]

I've been married now for about six years and I've got two kids. For me married life has got better and better the longer we have been together. We argue a lot less than we used to do, partly because our situation now is a lot better financially so that makes a difference to things , but also I feel because we understand each other a lot better and know how to live together. My wife is a fantastic mum, she looks after me very well, is a great cook, and she looks good too. I'm very happy.

However this doesn't mean that single life is shit. I had a fuc_king great time when I was single. I even had five odd years in Thailand single before I met my wife which were fantastic. But at the same time there came a time for me when I realised that I couldn't go on the same way for ever. For one thing I was killing myself with alcohol and substance abuse that would have killed a lot of other people. Many of my friends from this time in my life have fallen by the wayside , literally or metaphorically and you have to move on.

I think I stopped at the right time ( for me anyway ). I'm 33 now and my kids are 3 and 4. I don't want to be an old dad and I still want to be fairly young when my kids are grown up, and to have the energy to take care of them right now. Now if my wife goes away with the kids I go and get drunk for about two days but it all gets very boring very quickly and I would much rather get back into the family routine . It's more wholesome and after having it and being used to it , it does get lonely being on your own. I never thought I would be a " family man " but I guess that is the same for most people. You don't plan this stuff it just sort of happens to you. Or it did to me anyway. What is it they say :

" if you want to give God a laugh, tell him your plans "

So we'll see what happens, but so far so good.

[IanForbes]

I think I stopped at the right time ( for me anyway ). I'm 33 now and my kids are 3 and 4. I don't want to be an old dad and I still want to be fairly young when my kids are grown up, and to have the energy to take care of them right now.

Good post bermondburi. Telling your age and ambitions in life explains a lot. As I've said many times there are always extenuating circumstances that guide each of us. I'm 71, I don't WANT to raise another family. I've already done that and I'm happy with the results. If I was your age I would also be looking at someone to settle down with. There are many things that I miss about not being married, but I love my freedom too much to be tied down again. It is a full time job raising youngsters into adults, and a good male image goes a long way in helping children adjust well in this world.

[Bagwan]

I have always thought that all women should marry, and no man.

The recipe for a perfect marriage - a deaf man and a blind woman.

[IanForbes]

I have always thought that all women should marry, and no man.

The recipe for a perfect marriage - a deaf man and a blind woman.

[dmax]

happier without one ? then simple, stay single !! gets boring for me in thailand if i havent got a long term companion to talk to and spend day with , each to there own

[deejah]

I have always thought that all women should marry, and no man.

The recipe for a perfect marriage - a deaf man and a blind woman.

yes yes yes and yes

why get married?

why have children?

(rhetorical questions)

i can think of numerous reasons not to

SLAM ON

Edited January 19, 2011 by deejah

[Mossfinn]

Thai women seem to think the house cleans itself and meals should be brought home in plastic bags or eaten in restaurants and of course anyone with a foreign husband doesnot do laundry but sends it out. So why bother being a patsy. I think to be truly happy in thailand a man should stay single.

If you swim with Sharks you will get eaten, if you dance with Dolphins..........

[geriatrickid]

Hi so women do not clean the house, unless mummy is coming over. Nor do they do laundry unless it's the lingerie they bought in Paris. This is what the Burmese & Isaan slaves staff is for. Nor do Hiso women trim your nose hairs, cut your toenails or touch anything remotely icky. That's what the girls in the salons are for. I had to go for some stupid "executive" face treatment at that Japanese chain where they rub goop on your face. 1000 baht for what? You have wrinkles, look old. We are going, you be quiet and don't make trouble or else. Hiso girls do not leave dirty dishes in the sink, but put them in the Miele dishwasher and run it even when only 1/4 full.

Sheesh. I can see some of you do not have the benefits of a hiso wife (1/2 chinese component, optional).

[TAWP]

The first 3 months are always insane in this aspect, they will do anything you ask and don't ask of them. After that, well...you made the mistake of falling for them, now it is your turn to pay back - for life.

In conclusion, I love my gf and if she reads this: hny, I didn't mean you, you are always great. Don't hit me!

This is correct.

I've had years of pain which I've suffered until tonight, when my soon to be cheating thieving lying vile ex-wife killed my dog.

I adored that dog.

Now I'm going to turn the pain right up and coincidentally had a long meeting with my lawyer just last night.

Like I say. Great country to be single in, very single.

Holy f*cking shit...that is when you know someone has turned evil, when they attack your dog. I'm serious.

[TAWP]

Hi so women do not clean the house, unless mummy is coming over. Nor do they do laundry unless it's the lingerie they bought in Paris. This is what the Burmese & Isaan slaves staff is for. Nor do Hiso women trim your nose hairs, cut your toenails or touch anything remotely icky. That's what the girls in the salons are for. I had to go for some stupid "executive" face treatment at that Japanese chain where they rub goop on your face. 1000 baht for what? You have wrinkles, look old. We are going, you be quiet and don't make trouble or else. Hiso girls do not leave dirty dishes in the sink, but put them in the Miele dishwasher and run it even when only 1/4 full.

Sheesh. I can see some of you do not have the benefits of a hiso wife (1/2 chinese component, optional).

You just described several 'acquaintances' wife's. They are all high-paid game. Expensive habits does not make class.

[Old Croc]

Go to Hollywood, Franky.

[inmysights]

I'm were I want to be ... I will smile and thank the Lord ... and say please send me a professional editor... NB the 'poet' has said many times that he is a professional writer.

I used to spend time in Sumatra where I would say there is no fooling around with the young women ... you have to first marry them ... but you can marry three.

Thanks for searching for mistakes, jazzbo. As I've said many times... I can write, but I'm not a good typist. I make typos all the time. Some I catch and some I miss, but that is what editors are for.

As the old saying goes... Those that can, do. Those that can't, search for other peoples mistakes. It makes a good balance.

I've seen many of your posts and, No. You can't 'write'. Same as the other 'writers' here. Christopher Bore, and all the others' obsession with bar girls.

Where are the new Orwells (Burmese days) and the plethora of contemporary Indian/Chinese writers here in Disney/No talent Land?

Try something else.

[IanForbes]

I've seen many of your posts and, No. You can't 'write'. Same as the other 'writers' here. Christopher Bore, and all the others' obsession with bar girls.

Where are the new Orwells (Burmese days) and the plethora of contemporary Indian/Chinese writers here in Disney/No talent Land?

Try something else.

And you are a book editor, magazine editor, or just a self syled critic? Critics are the worst kind of people. They have no talent themselves so they spend their time criticizing others. Many editors I've met couldn't put an interesting article together if they tried. But, they were very good at grammar and spelling.

Having had a few thousand essays published in countless magazines and newspapers would make me somewhat of a writer. Or, at least a journalist if you want to get picky. Writing little tidbits on a forum full of bickering children is hardly up to the standard needed for writing. You have to dumb it down a notch.

Anything longer than two or three paragraphs won't get read on most forums.

I had to correct one of my many typos before jazzbo made a federal case over it.

Edited January 19, 2011 by IanForbes

[MiG16]

are you guys already bored with the single versus married/in partnership debate that you have now turned to spellings and grammar?

lets discuss only the topic shall we

cheers