Anyone Having Trouble Finding A Relationship Here?

[pjclark1]

right on the money, young thai girls from good families are not interested in older falangs

Old, low class uneducated foreigners giving advice on finding young high class, educated Thai ladies.

Just settle for a farm (shop/office/etc) girl, you know it makes sense!

Edited January 24, 2011 by pjclark1

[mark45y]

If you are over 30, forget about the young ones... you are stuck with a divorcee, a bar fly with tattoos or some woman with a few kids as

the Thai men will never go near them. If you are under 30 and decent looking, the Thai girl world is yours.

Even if you manage to land your dream girl, be prepared to dish out some serious money for her family or she will

move on to the next victim in which case, she becomes your nightmare and you scram back to which ever country you came from

broken heart and broken bank account.

Stay single and only have 30 minute relationships.

right on the money, young thai girls from good families are not interested in older falangs

I know a young educated (PhD) Thai woman from a good family. She owns among other things a business in my small town that has a fax machine. My fax was giving me problems. I was switching computer systems and I had to fax my bank in another country some instructions. They demand fax confirmation of emails. The currency I was exchanging was not a common currency and the amount looked incredibly large if one was used to dealing in dollars. The young lady knowing I am an American assumed the amount in the fax was dollars. I knew her socially but not personally. She is the VP of a large Bangkok company that her family owns an interest in.

I knew this lady for two years and had said nothing to her except casual conversation and helped her on a couple of business proposals that she was writing to American oil companies.

After she saw the fax amount in the millions she asked me out to dinner and introduced me to her parents. Dumb as I am I didn't put two and two together. One night over dinner she was asking what interest I earned on my account. I told her and she was surprised an account in the tens of millions only earned a small percent of interest. I told her it was only $120,000 in US dollars. I have never seen a woman eat so fast and exit so quickly. Before disclosure and after was like night and day. She moved away from me, wolfed down her food and made an excuse and left. Draw your own conclusions.

[balhamred]

If you are over 30, forget about the young ones... you are stuck with a divorcee, a bar fly with tattoos or some woman with a few kids as

the Thai men will never go near them. If you are under 30 and decent looking, the Thai girl world is yours.

Even if you manage to land your dream girl, be prepared to dish out some serious money for her family or she will

move on to the next victim in which case, she becomes your nightmare and you scram back to which ever country you came from

broken heart and broken bank account.

Stay single and only have 30 minute relationships.

right on the money, young thai girls from good families are not interested in older falangs

I know a young educated (PhD) Thai woman from a good family. She owns among other things a business in my small town that has a fax machine. My fax was giving me problems. I was switching computer systems and I had to fax my bank in another country some instructions. They demand fax confirmation of emails. The currency I was exchanging was not a common currency and the amount looked incredibly large if one was used to dealing in dollars. The young lady knowing I am an American assumed the amount in the fax was dollars. I knew her socially but not personally. She is the VP of a large Bangkok company that her family owns an interest in.

I knew this lady for two years and had said nothing to her except casual conversation and helped her on a couple of business proposals that she was writing to American oil companies.

After she saw the fax amount in the millions she asked me out to dinner and introduced me to her parents. Dumb as I am I didn't put two and two together. One night over dinner she was asking what interest I earned on my account. I told her and she was surprised an account in the tens of millions only earned a small percent of interest. I told her it was only $120,000 in US dollars. I have never seen a woman eat so fast and exit so quickly. Before disclosure and after was like night and day. She moved away from me, wolfed down her food and made an excuse and left. Draw your own conclusions.

Well obviously, the logical conclusion would therefore be that ALL young thai women from good families are only after farang with money. i mean, that would be the only conclusion from a sample size of one, surely ?!

[mark45y]

If you are over 30, forget about the young ones... you are stuck with a divorcee, a bar fly with tattoos or some woman with a few kids as

the Thai men will never go near them. If you are under 30 and decent looking, the Thai girl world is yours.

Even if you manage to land your dream girl, be prepared to dish out some serious money for her family or she will

move on to the next victim in which case, she becomes your nightmare and you scram back to which ever country you came from

broken heart and broken bank account.

Stay single and only have 30 minute relationships.

right on the money, young thai girls from good families are not interested in older falangs

I know a young educated (PhD) Thai woman from a good family. She owns among other things a business in my small town that has a fax machine. My fax was giving me problems. I was switching computer systems and I had to fax my bank in another country some instructions. They demand fax confirmation of emails. The currency I was exchanging was not a common currency and the amount looked incredibly large if one was used to dealing in dollars. The young lady knowing I am an American assumed the amount in the fax was dollars. I knew her socially but not personally. She is the VP of a large Bangkok company that her family owns an interest in.

I knew this lady for two years and had said nothing to her except casual conversation and helped her on a couple of business proposals that she was writing to American oil companies.

After she saw the fax amount in the millions she asked me out to dinner and introduced me to her parents. Dumb as I am I didn't put two and two together. One night over dinner she was asking what interest I earned on my account. I told her and she was surprised an account in the tens of millions only earned a small percent of interest. I told her it was only $120,000 in US dollars. I have never seen a woman eat so fast and exit so quickly. Before disclosure and after was like night and day. She moved away from me, wolfed down her food and made an excuse and left. Draw your own conclusions.

Well obviously, the logical conclusion would therefore be that ALL young thai women from good families are only after farang with money. i mean, that would be the only conclusion from a sample size of one, surely ?!

That certainly was not what I was saying. I was saying that generalizations about Thai young hi so women never being attracted to older men are nonsense.

I don't have 10 million in the bank but if I did and I came to Thailand I would do quite well with young hi so Thai women.

Along with my considerable charm and good looks the 10 million would not hurt my chances.

I do OK with hi so women as it is but I will admit none are under 30.

Are young hi so Thai women more available than women of other countries? I don't know. I am saying don't sell yourself short in Thailand. I met a guy a few months ago who was 40 good looking and made big bucks. Really big bucks at a legitimate, legal job in Thailand. He was with an ill mannered low so Thai woman. I think he was with her because he thought he could not do any better.

Me, I am not looking for marriage. If I was you can bet I would have more attractive and in general more acceptable companions than I do. I don't wish to subject a Thai family to my whims about life and love.

[mstribling]

Hi So, Lo So. You guys crack me up.

[balhamred]

Hi So, Lo So. You guys crack me up.

i don't like the terminology, but its undeniable that they exist. the class divide is like 2 different worlds.

[somchai69]

This may be the case in the bar and prostitution scene which makes up about 2 % of the countries women

I wonder where you found that figure?

IMHE the prositution that farangs see is only the tip of the iceberg, say 10%.

Have you tried nightclubs?

Getting back to your question, do you speak Thai, do you mix in Thai society?

Go and live out in the sticks and meet real Thai people, not the anonymous world of Bangkok.

[jfchandler]

She wasn't interested in you for your body???

Draw your own conclusions.

[mark45y]

Hi So, Lo So. You guys crack me up.

They have the same thing in the West. Momma tells daughter, honey it is just as easy to fall in love with a rich guy.

[Atmos]

I originally came to Thailand for off-season triathlon training; after a few months decided to make a go of it here, got involved in water safety training, sports coaching, lifeguards, cycling group.

Same as I would if I'd moved to any new place, meet the locals with at least one common interest; I don't drink/bars and neither did they.

Great way to create a social life, worst thing was the 'arranged introductions' I had to carefully and politely extract myself from. I think for some of the women it became a 'sport' - in a good-natured way.

My 3rd year in Thailand will involve new territory - off to Chanthaburi, already made contact with a cycling group there, it's a start and 'someone will know someone' for my other interests.

Through friends here I have met so many single women not in the least interested in a farang - sorry if that damages some egos.

[mark45y]

I originally came to Thailand for off-season triathlon training; after a few months decided to make a go of it here, got involved in water safety training, sports coaching, lifeguards, cycling group.

Same as I would if I'd moved to any new place, meet the locals with at least one common interest; I don't drink/bars and neither did they.

Great way to create a social life, worst thing was the 'arranged introductions' I had to carefully and politely extract myself from. I think for some of the women it became a 'sport' - in a good-natured way.

My 3rd year in Thailand will involve new territory - off to Chanthaburi, already made contact with a cycling group there, it's a start and 'someone will know someone' for my other interests.

Through friends here I have met so many single women not in the least interested in a farang - sorry if that damages some egos.

There are only 23,304,793 women in Thailand. If 90% don't want to be with a Falang that only leaves 2,330,479 who do.

What will I do. What will I do. Woe is me. My ego is shattered!

[wolf5370]

I originally came to Thailand for off-season triathlon training; after a few months decided to make a go of it here, got involved in water safety training, sports coaching, lifeguards, cycling group.

Same as I would if I'd moved to any new place, meet the locals with at least one common interest; I don't drink/bars and neither did they.

Great way to create a social life, worst thing was the 'arranged introductions' I had to carefully and politely extract myself from. I think for some of the women it became a 'sport' - in a good-natured way.

My 3rd year in Thailand will involve new territory - off to Chanthaburi, already made contact with a cycling group there, it's a start and 'someone will know someone' for my other interests.

Through friends here I have met so many single women not in the least interested in a farang - sorry if that damages some egos.

Why should it hurt anyone's ego? Somepoeple are OK with mixed coupling, some are not. I knew a black guy who only dated black women - his sister dated both black and white. I know many white people back home that would never consider an Asian girl. So, why would it be strange that some Thia women are not attracted to white men? Same, same. The sheer amount of Thai women actively seeking white men (whether for gold digging, loneliness or simple preference) shows this not to be a particular problem.

[drronnie]

Depends on your definition of "normal women?"

Do you speak Thai? Makes all the difference in the world. Or at least in Thailand.

normal women are the 98 percent who are not prositutes, who work in offices, department stores, nurses etc...

Depending how you will define the word "prostitute"?

To my knowledge and what I have been told by (a lot of) Thai girls, the (only) interest for a farang is, to get a better (finacial) life: "To move up".

A farang dating a mid- or upper class Thai lady is quite outstanding - not completely impossible, but requires a lot of patience - whilst the lower class ladies (and their families) benefits from moving up with farang-money. That be the farmer girls from Isaan, many university students, ladies working in office etc. or even selfemployed with some fairly good business. They all dream about "moving up" the easy and fast way, like winning in the Lottery: Finding a farang. I know (friendly) quite a few nice and respectable ladies with that dream - some of them even manage to find and marry a farang.

Take a look at the profiles at dating sites. Not all, but many young girls (18-25 yo) looks for a man (farang), any age. Only few looks for a man, around their own age.

In other words - "Money number one" - they do it for the financial benefits and for a better life, often including a better life for their family back home in the village.

The traditional Thai culture is quite the same. The man pays "sin sot" (dowry) - he is buying his wife. The girls are tought, that a man, who can take good care, is number one - then love will come later. Often young girls are married to quite older men (not really old) - which is possible at a (unregistered) village marriage - fx. I have experienced 13-15 yo girls getting married to men around 30, because they (or their family) could pay a good "sin sot" - arranged by the families, so kind of "arranged marriage" (however, some times, because a young girl get pregnant, and the families do not want to "lose face"). I know Thai men in their sixties, getting married to girls around 20.

In Western terms and culture, we normally connect prostitution with money - a paid for service. However, in South East Asian culture, the financial status is very (the most) important. In the book "Thailand Fever", it is told, that the paid for service continues during a marriage (page 182): "...what is the difference between courting a Thai woman and puchasing a Thai prostitute/bar girl? After all, in both cases, you pay money and then she reciprocates with company and sex."

Many women, looking for a farang, have been married (once or twice) to a Thai man - or younger girls have had a Thai boyfriend - and found out, that it did not work. The commen story is money (not enough), drinking, butterflying (the man having a mistress or several), the man being rude, the man leaving when a baby comes (especially a baby girl). Not because the Thai ladies suddently loves farangs - even they say so - but they find the farang being a better option with more financial support and the impression of, that the farang normally takes good care of his family. Some farmer families up in Isaan, even send their dougters off to find a farang, as soon as the girl is old enough. Often I've been told by many (all) ladies I know: "If some girls says, they don't do it for the money, they lie!"

So - in Western terms - that makes all Thai women (propably apart from the elite class and the upper mid class) prositutes.

And I must add, that I know of many girls - who have had a past period in the nightlife - being honest, nice, good and respectable girlfrinds and wifes.

However the girls form the upper class marry up too. Have a look at many high society and celebrity weddings.

[annamargarita]

It all goes down to your intention.

- If you're in Thailand to have fun, then fun will come to you...in all forms and sizes!

- If you're here to work and make a living, then you will see Thailand in a much more corporate way...and will meet career-oriented Thai girls who dont need foreigners money because they have more than them

- If you are here for vacation and enjoy serene places, then you will see Thailand in a different lens and will meet sweet, loving Thai girls. And boy, you will be amazed and say "you are the luckiest"!

I promise you, like attract like...so its all up to you!

best of luck and hope you find the happiness you deserve

xoxo

[Beardog]

Can't see why you are having problems unless you are an introvert type .If your not shy just strike up a conversation with a Thai girl anywhere. It sure doesn't have to be in a bar & there are plenty of gals that either are learning English or have already mastered a bit of English to talk with. After a short while ask them if they would like to go out for lunch or dinner. Lunch better if it is too awkward you can skate out early.

More girls will say yes than no. The hardest part is getting OUT of the relationship not getting into one.Maybe you are defeating yourself before you start.

No matter what the situation is Thailand is much easier to get the ball rolling than either of our home countries. The hard part is once your into the relationship ......But that is a whole nother post!

Try being yourself & calm down if your not skint that is a plus, because Thailand like all countries women always look for security . It's just cheaper here if you don't lose your head.

Good luck & happy hunting.

[TAWP]

In the West it is always rumored that it is easy to pickup women in Thailand. This may be the case in the bar and prostitution scene which makes up about 2 % of the countries women. However the normal women are quite hard to get a relationship with as I have experienced in the last 7 years I have been living in LOS. However many Farangs are quite sucessful and happy with their Thai girlfriends / wives. I wonder how they do that.

It is easy amongst office-workers too, if you are looking decent, have a job and know how to dress. I had more than I could handle at times (I remember one time when two girls that did not know each-other came to my office, both wanting to take me out...one gave me a quicky in the bathroom while the other waited in the office kitchen) and most of them one's I meet was office girls, students, a teacher, a famous event organizer regularly in the newspapers - and so on...

I'm not sure what the OP is doing wrong...approaching them at the food court asking 'bai naaiiiii?'. *shudders*

[jfchandler]

The approach described above is certainly a sociable, friendly one...

But I've never done it with a female total stranger in pursuit of a date, and I can't quite understand those who do.... (The workplace setting, though, where people are around the same office day in and day out is a different deal, since there's going to be at least some familiarity involved).

Reason being.... you have no idea what the status of the woman in question is, other than that you find her physically attractive.

She may be happily married with children...she may have a serious BF, she may not be interested in meeting a farang, and/or she has no idea who this person is who's suddenly begun talking to her and isn't keen on chit-chatting with a total stranger, a farang nonetheless.... Or, on the worse side, she could be a total B**** or a loon....once one gets to know her, appearances notwithstanding.

If one were to pick 10 urban Thai women at random (and I said women...not school girls or bar girls or such), I'm just wondering what the likely proportion would be who'd fit into the "not interested" category for one of the reasons above or others.

If I was inclined to start chit chatting with someone I don't know out at the mall or Skytrain or wherever, at least, I'd like to have something that tells me she's at least available and/or interested.... and not the one who was in the newspaper last week for stabbing her husband to death...

[mark45y]

The approach described above is certainly a sociable, friendly one...

But I've never done it with a female total stranger in pursuit of a date, and I can't quite understand those who do.... (The workplace setting, though, where people are around the same office day in and day out is a different deal, since there's going to be at least some familiarity involved).

Reason being.... you have no idea what the status of the woman in question is, other than that you find her physically attractive.

She may be happily married with children...she may have a serious BF, she may not be interested in meeting a farang, and/or she has no idea who this person is who's suddenly begun talking to her and isn't keen on chit-chatting with a total stranger, a farang nonetheless.... Or, on the worse side, she could be a total B**** or a loon....once one gets to know her, appearances notwithstanding.

If one were to pick 10 urban Thai women at random (and I said women...not school girls or bar girls or such), I'm just wondering what the likely proportion would be who'd fit into the "not interested" category for one of the reasons above or others.

If I was inclined to start chit chatting with someone I don't know out at the mall or Skytrain or wherever, at least, I'd like to have something that tells me she's at least available and/or interested.... and not the one who was in the newspaper last week for stabbing her husband to death...

It is kind of fun doing it with a total stranger although I always hate that uncomfortable moment after when dropping her off at her home when you have to ask, "Oh, by the way, what's your name."

[jfchandler]

Mark, certainly, no woman would ever say you're not a gentleman of the highest order...

[Ulysses G.]

It is kind of fun doing it with a total stranger although I always hate that uncomfortable moment after when dropping her off at her home when you have to ask, "Oh, by the way, what's your name."

I just give them 10 baht for a songteaw.

[mca]

It is kind of fun doing it with a total stranger although I always hate that uncomfortable moment after when dropping her off at her home when you have to ask, "Oh, by the way, what's your name."

I would have thought at your age Mark you'd have been asking " Oh, by the way, what's my name?"

[richard10365]

Make a list of the qualities you would like a potential partner to have and stick to that list.

For example, this is the list I made.

1. Speaks English
   
2. Single (No BF, Gik, or Husband)
   
3. Has an education (Bachelors/Masters degree)
   
4. Has a job
   
5. Pretty
   
6. Lives in the city I live in
   
7. Likes me
   

It's very easy to meet a girl with just any qualifications. But to meet the girl that I think is right for me, I need to find someone with qualities that I think are important for a relationship with me.

Other people will probably have a different list but to find what you truly want, the list really helps.

Before I made the list (and stuck to it), I met many "wrong" women that didn't fit right for my life. Now I am in a relationship with the girl of my dreams. (and my list)

It did work for me. I hope it works for whoever tries it as well.

[Ulysses G.]

1) Really hot!

2) Enthusiastic about being violated by a fat, old farang.

[jfchandler]

Richard, that's a good list, and comparable to my own....

I'd add two more items...

8. Not looking to find a farang husband/BF to become her/her family's personal ATM machine...

In my experience, all of the items in your list still could be true, I mean apply, to a particular woman...

But she still could have the dreaded "ATM disease." Back in my single days, I ran into a lot of regularly, normally employed women who still had that fever...

And then...

9. No connection past or present with the farang bar scene.

Applying #9, of course, would mean a lot of lonely nights for Mark and a few others around these parts...

Edited January 27, 2011 by jfchandler

[mark45y]

Richard, that's a good list, and comparable to my own....

I'd add two more items...

8. Not looking to find a farang husband/BF to become her/her family's personal ATM machine...

In my experience, all of the items in your list still could be true, I mean apply, to a particular woman...

But she still could have the dreaded "ATM disease." Back in my single days, I ran into a lot of regularly, normally employed women who still had that fever...

And then...

9. No connection past or present with the farang bar scene.

Applying #9, of course, would mean a lot of lonely nights for Mark and a few others around these parts...

Actually I haven't lived with a bar girl for the past three years unless you count the uni students who may or may have not ever worked in a bar. Me, I don't know. I give everyone an equal shot. I am a pretty liberal guy. I dated a lady in Bangkok who owned a bar. Does that count? Of the list, #2. is highly unlikely but likely that a Falang would not be made aware of the situation if it does exist. #4. Makes sense if a male has a low sense of self esteem. I never really had to impress anyone with my wife's education, mine is impressive enough for two. #4. I am an old fashioned guy. I pay the bills and I want my wife at home taking care of the kids. I don't like day care here or in the West. If she wants to get a job after the kids are out of school fine. I did notice that there is not a number for “Respects me.” Pretty is OK beautiful is scary. I would add smells good and snug. I would add another number for first hand rose if I was getting married. I always got second hand roses.

[Wallaby]

1) Really hot!

2) Enthusiastic about being violated by a fat, old farang.

Yep, they are the only 2 I need worry about.

I have very low standards and consistently fail to achieve them.

[SteeleJoe]

This may be the case in the bar and prostitution scene which makes up about 2 % of the countries women

I wonder where you found that figure?

IMHE the prositution that farangs see is only the tip of the iceberg, say 10%.

Have you tried nightclubs?

Getting back to your question, do you speak Thai, do you mix in Thai society?

Go and live out in the sticks and meet real Thai people, not the anonymous world of Bangkok.

Research (Thai NGOs, the UN, ) and other evidence has suggested it's significantly less. Perhaps as little as 2%.

[mark45y]

This may be the case in the bar and prostitution scene which makes up about 2 % of the countries women

I wonder where you found that figure?

IMHE the prositution that farangs see is only the tip of the iceberg, say 10%.

Have you tried nightclubs?

Getting back to your question, do you speak Thai, do you mix in Thai society?

Go and live out in the sticks and meet real Thai people, not the anonymous world of Bangkok.

Research (Thai NGOs, the UN, ) and other evidence has suggested it's significantly less. Perhaps as little as 2%.

Gee, don't get into that argument again. No one even knows how many bars there are in Pattaya let alone trying to figure out who is working and who is not.

About the most intelligent thing that can be said is Thailand has had a reputation for that sort of thing for at least 600 years and it doesn't appear to be changing anytime soon.

[SteeleJoe]

Gee, don't get into that argument again. No one even knows how many bars there are in Pattaya let alone trying to figure out who is working and who is not.

No, but there's LOADS of evidence that the sector caters to foriegners could not be any more than quite a small portion of the total trade.

About the most intelligent thing that can be said is Thailand has had a reputation for that sort of thing for at least 600 years and it doesn't appear to be changing anytime soon.

Uhmmmm...yeah. How does that negate anything said in any way?

[pjclark1]

Make a list of the qualities you would like a potential partner to have and stick to that list.

For example, this is the list I made.

1. Speaks English
2. Single (No BF, Gik, or Husband)
3. Has an education (Bachelors/Masters degree)
4. Has a job
5. Pretty
6. Lives in the city I live in
7. Likes me

I would have to disagree with choice 1), looking for a Thai girl that speaks English is just asking for trouble.

They will have had English speaking boyfriends before and very high expectations of the money you can provide for them.

Might as well look for sharks in a swimming pool!