Thai Men + Farang Women

[Berkshire]

The simple explanation is that Farang women have much higher standards than Farang men. This is not a slight against Farang men because part of it is biological. Simply put:

Farang men will date Thai women who speaks little to almost no English. Farang women would not date Thai men whom they can't communicate with fluently.

Farang men will date dirt poor Thai women with little to no prospects. Farang women would prefer someone of the same socioeconomic background or higher.

Farang men will date uneducated Thai women. Farang women prefer someone of the same educational background or higher.

Farang men seem to date pretty much any Thai woman who's younger, regardless of how attractive she is (attractive in the Thai sense). Farang women will prefer a guy around her age or slightly older who's relatively attractive.

The kinds of Thai men, therefore, that Farang women are looking for are successful, attractive, English-speaking/western educated, intelligent, and closer to in age, i.e., top notch Thai men. The bad news for Farang women is that these Thai guys are in high demand amongst the best and brightest (read hottest) Thai women in Thailand. Unless the guy has a serious farang-fetish, you're going to be hardpressed to land the top tier guys. They simply have too much to choose from.

Your post will be much more accurate if you add "Some" before "Farang men"

It's a generalization, and a fairly accurate one I might add. Now if I had the word "All" before "Farang men," then I'd see your point.

[mark45y]

I was 22 or so living in and around Thailand from 1968 to 1970 (50,000 plus Americans in Thailand at the time). The rich/high status American/European guys went out with American/European women. The guys like me went out with Thai women. I dated a school teacher who's father was a University professor. I tried to date the American women but they wouldn't give me a second look. It was like I was an insect or something not worthy of talking to. The American women were clerical or medical personnel not particularly well educated. I had a BA and most of a masters finished at the time. I also had money. But I was a NCO in the Army. My non field grade officer status finished any chance I might have had to date an American woman.

I'm not talking about anyone else only me. In 1968 I never saw an American/European woman date a Thai man regardless of his status.

This situation created a couple of conditions in my young life at the time. I talked to a lot of Thai women and found out that the stereotype at the time among soldiers was not correct. They were nice ladies. I didn't talk to any American/European women because they wouldn't talk to me. And this created a lifelong impression too.

[CheGuava]

Tell me, when was the last time anyone met a Western woman who has been happily living in Thailand for 10 years or so, and married to a Thai with a decent corporate career?

You just described some of my friends. If you run in the right circles you tend to meet them more often.

555 I was totally not expecting someone to come up with an exception. Note that I already mentioned that any generalization or stereotype will have many exceptions. Just like not every Farang male marries a bargirl or other person from lower class background.

I was at a totally mainstream lunch restaurant in a non-tourist area in Chiang Mai last weekend, and for some reason there were quite a few Western-female-Thai-male couples there. Quite a few with children.

Afterwards, my wife asked: Why is it that Farang women like hilltribe people and reggae types?

Again, that is a generalisation. I am *certain* that somewhere there exists a Farang woman who married a bank manager. I'm not seeing that as a trend yet, though.

Edited January 20, 2011 by CheGuava

[moe666]

Western women are more worried about being called a looser than western men, when they cannot have a relationship with a western man. HOHO

[inmysights]

Western women are more worried about being called a looser than western men, when they cannot have a relationship with a western man. HOHO

You're bloody kidding, RIGHT?

[cdnvic]

I used to think it was tied to latent racist stereotypes, that for many Caucasians, who were at the top of the socio-economic scale, it was considered marrying "under" their station to marry someone of another race. As men were expected to be the breadwinners it was less important for them to marry at or above their station, and they would have less trouble finding acceptance than a woman who did the same.

Now, if you look at North America though, it's clear that the above isn't the case because it's almost as uncommon to see a Black woman with a Caucasian man as it is to see an Asian man with a Caucasian woman, yet statistically Asian men tend to be much more affluent. Things are changing, but it's far from being balanced.

I'm guessing that while modern western women are determined to take an equal place in the relationship, that many of them still want a man that's confident, and able to handle himself, and Asian men by and large tend to be rather reserved, just as a Caucasian man would seem to many Black women. There are exceptions for sure, but if this personality mis-match is even partly true it could explain a lot.

[sbk]

Actually, years ago when my husband and I first married and went to the US we found the typical redneck ignorant types to have just the attitude that white women shouldn't be with a brown man. sullying the purity of the race perhaps. Fortunately for me, I do not know people like that and don't give a toss what some ignorant fool thinks anyway so just ignored their rude behavior to us.

The idea that Thai men aren't successful and won't marry a farang just goes to show that people who think that don't really know anything beyond their own little circle and prejudices. Its no different than the prejudices that people have against Thai women and western guys. Pity that.

[F1fanatic]

Actually, years ago when my husband and I first married and went to the US we found the typical redneck ignorant types to have just the attitude that white women shouldn't be with a brown man. sullying the purity of the race perhaps. Fortunately for me, I do not know people like that and don't give a toss what some ignorant fool thinks anyway so just ignored their rude behavior to us.

The idea that Thai men aren't successful and won't marry a farang just goes to show that people who think that don't really know anything beyond their own little circle and prejudices. Its no different than the prejudices that people have against Thai women and western guys. Pity that.

Whilst I agree with your comments about the rednecks, the end of your post is ludicrous.

Western women marry for love 99% of the time (IMO). Those of us who have been here for a few years realise that Thai women have a different priority.

To blame this on people having "prejudices" or "people who... don't really know anything beyond their own little circle" is clearly ridiculous.

Your final comment "the prejudices that people have against Thai women and western guys. Pity that." is even more laughable.

Yes, some people need to be pitied, but its not those to whom you refer....

[sbk]

Um, yes I agree with your final sentence but unlike you, I know many Thai women with western husbands who are NOT marrying for money. In fact, some are far wealthier than their husbands.

But regardless, this thread is NOT about that particular prejudice, is it and perhaps its best to not hijack it.

[JurgenG]

The simple explanation is that Farang women have much higher standards than Farang men. This is not a slight against Farang men because part of it is biological. Simply put:

Farang men will date Thai women who speaks little to almost no English. Farang women would not date Thai men whom they can't communicate with fluently.

Farang men will date dirt poor Thai women with little to no prospects. Farang women would prefer someone of the same socioeconomic background or higher.

Farang men will date uneducated Thai women. Farang women prefer someone of the same educational background or higher.

Farang men seem to date pretty much any Thai woman who's younger, regardless of how attractive she is (attractive in the Thai sense). Farang women will prefer a guy around her age or slightly older who's relatively attractive.

The kinds of Thai men, therefore, that Farang women are looking for are successful, attractive, English-speaking/western educated, intelligent, and closer to in age, i.e., top notch Thai men. The bad news for Farang women is that these Thai guys are in high demand amongst the best and brightest (read hottest) Thai women in Thailand. Unless the guy has a serious farang-fetish, you're going to be hardpressed to land the top tier guys. They simply have too much to choose from.

Your post will be much more accurate if you add "Some" before "Farang men"

It's a generalization, and a fairly accurate one I might add. Now if I had the word "All" before "Farang men," then I'd see your point.

My point is I don't agree with your generalization.

I actually believe that for your first three statements, using "most" with a negative would be more accurate.

Then maybe we would have to agree on the meaning of "date". For me a two hours paid relation is not a date ... "most" men are weak, especially after a few glass of alcohol, that I will agree.

Edited January 20, 2011 by JurgenG

[F1fanatic]

In response to the OP, as a Western female I find v few Thai men attractive.

They are generally too short and not my idea of attractive anyway.

Those that I do consider attractive are younger than me, so there is not a chance in hell that I would consider them as a potential partner - its a case of 'enjoy, but that's as far as it could possibly go.

Western women here aren't normally stupid, so realise that younger Thai men (with a profession) would not find an older farang woman attractive....

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Actually, years ago when my husband and I first married and went to the US we found the typical redneck ignorant types to have just the attitude that white women shouldn't be with a brown man. sullying the purity of the race perhaps. Fortunately for me, I do not know people like that and don't give a toss what some ignorant fool thinks anyway so just ignored their rude behavior to us.

The idea that Thai men aren't successful and won't marry a farang just goes to show that people who think that don't really know anything beyond their own little circle and prejudices. Its no different than the prejudices that people have against Thai women and western guys. Pity that.

Whilst I agree with your comments about the rednecks, the end of your post is ludicrous.

Western women marry for love 99% of the time (IMO). Those of us who have been here for a few years realise that Thai women have a different priority.

To blame this on people having "prejudices" or "people who... don't really know anything beyond their own little circle" is clearly ridiculous.

Your final comment "the prejudices that people have against Thai women and western guys. Pity that." is even more laughable.

Yes, some people need to be pitied, but its not those to whom you refer....

Huh.. did you run out of coins before the end of you post? You mentioned in no uncertain terms that you disagree with SBK. But what actually is your opinion on the matter?

[F1fanatic]

Actually, years ago when my husband and I first married and went to the US we found the typical redneck ignorant types to have just the attitude that white women shouldn't be with a brown man. sullying the purity of the race perhaps. Fortunately for me, I do not know people like that and don't give a toss what some ignorant fool thinks anyway so just ignored their rude behavior to us.

The idea that Thai men aren't successful and won't marry a farang just goes to show that people who think that don't really know anything beyond their own little circle and prejudices. Its no different than the prejudices that people have against Thai women and western guys. Pity that.

Whilst I agree with your comments about the rednecks, the end of your post is ludicrous.

Western women marry for love 99% of the time (IMO). Those of us who have been here for a few years realise that Thai women have a different priority.

To blame this on people having "prejudices" or "people who... don't really know anything beyond their own little circle" is clearly ridiculous.

Your final comment "the prejudices that people have against Thai women and western guys. Pity that." is even more laughable.

Yes, some people need to be pitied, but its not those to whom you refer....

Huh.. did you run out of coins before the end of you post? You mentioned in no uncertain terms that you disagree with SBK. But what actually is your opinion on the matter?

Umm, try reading the post to the OP after my response to SBK.

[aridion]

^ As there are a number of teachers posting here, I'm sure a lot of us (me included) could benefit to have a few basic words explained and more specifically it seems what is the difference between all, most and some, and fact, opinion, bias and prejudice.

Here, here Jurgen. Agree.

Edited January 20, 2011 by aridion

[aridion]

This would make a great Thesis subject. I wonder if there are any books written on the subject?

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Huh.. did you run out of coins before the end of you post? You mentioned in no uncertain terms that you disagree with SBK. But what actually is your opinion on the matter?

Umm, try reading the post to the OP after my response to SBK.

Thanks; we posted at roughly the same time. That makes sense.

Still, there are Western women who DO get into relationships with Thai men. It may also be a case of Thai men just being the most abundant species out there; when a Western woman has decided for whatever reason to spend a longer time in Thailand, her options I guess are pretty limited :

1. Single Western men visiting Thaland as tourists/backpackers : the trouble is that they don't stick around long enough for an actual relationship.

2. Western expats : yeah, right.

3. Thai men : tend to not view Western women as prospects for whatever reasons. With the clear exception of those working the tourist industry, the afore mentioned diving instructors, beach boys, trekking guides, guest house staff and so on. These also have a financial motivation, more often than not; it's not like these guys are making any proper money in their jobs, and they sure as heck aren't going to land a wealthy Thai woman.

So there you go. Western women fishing in essentially the same pond (demographic) as older Western men: Poor folks from the provinces, fringe characters, freaks, and prostitutes / hustlers / wannabe gigolos.

[ Cue: Some dude claiming he married into minor aristocracy or a lady claiming she married a wealthy, tall, funny, considerate and athletic Thai business man. Yes, it happens. ]

Edited January 20, 2011 by WinnieTheKhwai

[Chonburiram]

Natalie & Paradon anyone?

[sbk]

Indeed, and I guess anecdotal evidence by me and Boo would not suffice for WTK since it doesn't suit his ideas of these relationships.

Fact is, I married quite young and did not come "fishing" for a man, in fact none of the quite a few western women I know married to Thai men were "fishing" for a man. And many of these women are actually married to professional or otherwise fairly successful men.

But hey, what the heck does my experience of over 20 years in contact with many farang women through various means (not just online) have to do with WTK since he clearly knows?

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Indeed, and I guess anecdotal evidence by me and Boo would not suffice for WTK since it doesn't suit his ideas of these relationships.

Fact is, I married quite young and did not come "fishing" for a man, in fact none of the quite a few western women I know married to Thai men were "fishing" for a man. And many of these women are actually married to professional or otherwise fairly successful men.

But hey, what the heck does my experience of over 20 years in contact with many farang women through various means (not just online) have to do with WTK since he clearly knows?

Point well taken. The only clarification I would like to make is that I did not mean to insinuate that anyone comes here 'fishing' for a man. Just that when you live somewhere long time, people (not just women) often want to be in a relationship and possible start a family as well.

Ok, maybe one more clarification: nobody should take this personal. I don't take it personal when someone makes a blanket statement about what motivates Western men to marry Thai women, and the type of women they marry. I know that statistically it may be a fairly accurate statement, without taking it to mean that it covers absolutely everyone out there including myself. I know who I married. I also know what kind of demographic a typical Western male marries. I can agree with the latter without feeling included in the statistic/generalization.

(I realize the above may not be clear.. it's late. )

Finally to Sbk: You still live on Ko Pha Ngan right? You must see a pattern when looking at most (no, not all) Western girl - Thai guy couples? Boat/Beach/Bar/Travel-agent/Bungalow-Guys versus Bank Employee-Guys or Systems Analyst-Guys? Throw me a bone, I'm not talking about you personally.. but you do see a trend right, just like I see one with Western men when I'm in Samui ?

Edited January 20, 2011 by WinnieTheKhwai

[thaiman]

It's really not that hard of a question to answer.

There are very few young attractive white women floating around in Thailand. MOST of the ones you see here are overweight, older, and not very attractive (might be harsh, but it's true). There are so many young attractive slim Thai women around. Thai men would prefer to have the obvious.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Thank you thaiman.. Not because I agree, but because I now feel considerably more 'off the hook' from any further flak against my own blunt analysis..

[sbk]

Whatever.

I have always found it interesting when western guys trot out that tired old cliche when its pretty clear to anyone who chooses to look that there are plenty of young attractive western women travelling, just as there also plenty of older, unattractive and overweight Thai women around. I guess its much easier if you live your life with blinkers on seeing only the things you want to see. But please, do not then go ahead and pretend that its fact, thanks.

[thaiman]

Whatever.

I have always found it interesting when western guys trot out that tired old cliche when its pretty clear to anyone who chooses to look that there are plenty of young attractive western women travelling, just as there also plenty of older, unattractive and overweight Thai women around. I guess its much easier if you live your life with blinkers on seeing only the things you want to see. But please, do not then go ahead and pretend that its fact, thanks.

Blah blah blah. Yawn.

The only attractive western women I ever see are with their western boyfriends. Just have a look around. There are far more attractive Thai women around then there are western women. WAKE UP! Don't get angry just because Thailand is a mans' world not a womans'

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Whatever.

I have always found it interesting when western guys trot out that tired old cliche when its pretty clear to anyone who chooses to look that there are plenty of young attractive western women travelling, just as there also plenty of older, unattractive and overweight Thai women around. I guess its much easier if you live your life with blinkers on seeing only the things you want to see. But please, do not then go ahead and pretend that its fact, thanks.

Agreed; and let's also agree to ignore Thaiman's statement which I really don't agree with, to put it mildly.

Back on topic: You were about to claim that most Western women (as opposed to typical Western men) do actually marry successful middle class Thai people. And not the cliche of the boat/bar/bungalow/tattoo artist/long-haired-guitar-dude type.

I will actually take your word for it; like you said, you're a lot closer to the topic at hand than I am. Promise.

Edited January 20, 2011 by WinnieTheKhwai

[sbk]

Back on topic: You were about to claim that most Western women (as opposed to typical Western men) do actually marry successful middle class Thai people. And not the cliche of the boat/bar/bungalow/tattoo artist/long-haired-guitar-dude type.

Thanks for letting me know what I was about to say Winnie. Guess I wouldn't know my own mind if I didn't have your help with it

But, you know, I have had this tired old argument with men on this forum since I first joined and well, frankly, after 8 years, its tiring. It doesn't really matter what I say or what I do, those with preconceived notions and closed minds will forever stay that way.

Suggest you get out and about more, meet people and get out of the circles that you are comfortable with and you might find a great big world of all sorts of interesting people living lives you never knew about existed out there. Including, gasp, attractive western women with gasp non beachboy/guitar playing/tattood dudes.

Note to self: be sure to tell husband he's got to get out of working the business, grow his hair, get a tattoo and learn to play the guitar.

[aridion]

Whatever.

I have always found it interesting when western guys trot out that tired old cliche when its pretty clear to anyone who chooses to look that there are plenty of young attractive western women travelling, just as there also plenty of older, unattractive and overweight Thai women around. I guess its much easier if you live your life with blinkers on seeing only the things you want to see. But please, do not then go ahead and pretend that its fact, thanks.

Yes there are plenty of young attractive western women travelling. However there aren't that many young attractive western women living in Thailand for any significant lenght of time. There are some that do live here, but from the Western men I know, they would rather thai women.

[aridion]

Back on topic: You were about to claim that most Western women (as opposed to typical Western men) do actually marry successful middle class Thai people. And not the cliche of the boat/bar/bungalow/tattoo artist/long-haired-guitar-dude type.

Thanks for letting me know what I was about to say Winnie. Guess I wouldn't know my own mind if I didn't have your help with it

But, you know, I have had this tired old argument with men on this forum since I first joined and well, frankly, after 8 years, its tiring. It doesn't really matter what I say or what I do, those with preconceived notions and closed minds will forever stay that way.

Suggest you get out and about more, meet people and get out of the circles that you are comfortable with and you might find a great big world of all sorts of interesting people living lives you never knew about existed out there. Including, gasp, attractive western women with gasp non beachboy/guitar playing/tattood dudes.

Note to self: be sure to tell husband he's got to get out of working the business, grow his hair, get a tattoo and learn to play the guitar.

Agree with this wholeheartedly. Tarring and feathering everyone that lives here with the same brush is skewed and misinformed.

[sbk]

Whatever.

I have always found it interesting when western guys trot out that tired old cliche when its pretty clear to anyone who chooses to look that there are plenty of young attractive western women travelling, just as there also plenty of older, unattractive and overweight Thai women around. I guess its much easier if you live your life with blinkers on seeing only the things you want to see. But please, do not then go ahead and pretend that its fact, thanks.

Yes there are plenty of young attractive western women travelling. However there aren't that many young attractive western women living in Thailand for any significant lenght of time. There are some that do live here, but from the Western men I know, they would rather thai women.

Great, good for your friends, but this topic is not about western women and western men, last I looked.

[aridion]

I know that sbk. I was just refering to a point you made. I thought it a good point. Okay with that?

[Boo]

WTK, I have never dated a guy of any nationality who wore a suit for a living & quite honestly would rather poke myself in the eye with a fork than do so, boring for me. I've always been attracted to the arty/music types. so I married the long haired, tattooed musician/tattoo artist from issan. and he looks goooood on it too.

does that make my husband low class? well lets see, he comes from a nice family, was catholic school educated, started uni then quit to play music full time, is a hard working man who voluntarily hands over his pay check to his wife, stays home every night & thinks men who go to pubs/out with their mates all the time, leaving their family alone are mental & is a better father to our son in terms of actually taking care of him than 99% of the men I see here anywhere. To me he is a man, the best kind. So if some people think that the most important trait in a man is how he looks & what he does for living, then I pity them, you never know what is under the surface & some of the biggest cheaters, scammers & hypocrites I ever met in my life maintained a "respectable" veneer.

Oh & this women makes more than enough money to support herself, I never needed nor looked for a cash cow & married someone who wasn't looking for one either