Strange Farang Phenomenon

[Berkshire]

Does my querie about this subject really make me sound that needy? LOL

For sure.

Try some dating sites, many have area specific search options, find other farang there and send them a message asking if they would like to catch up.

Just explain that there is nothing sinister about your approach, but after your failures in the supermarkets and streets, you thought this might be a less invasive option.

Good luck.

Those are helpful suggestions. I'd also check out the website www.lonelyfarangNparadise.com, where like-minded individuals can share their tales of woe and criticize with impunity all the inconsiderate "farang sellouts" for ignoring their good-natured invitation to converse about all things farang. There's also a video game called "Smile Back or Else!" where you can blast strangers to smithereens if they fail to acknowledge your friendly gesture appropriately. And then there's the self-help group called "How to Win Friends and Convince Complete Strangers that You're Not a Psycho Creep." I think any or all of these suggestions would help you in your time of need.

i went to the link but it doesn't work?

Surely you jest...

[Moonrakers]

Does my querie about this subject really make me sound that needy? LOL

For sure.

Try some dating sites, many have area specific search options, find other farang there and send them a message asking if they would like to catch up.

Just explain that there is nothing sinister about your approach, but after your failures in the supermarkets and streets, you thought this might be a less invasive option.

Good luck.

Those are helpful suggestions. I'd also check out the website www.lonelyfarangNparadise.com, where like-minded individuals can share their tales of woe and criticize with impunity all the inconsiderate "farang sellouts" for ignoring their good-natured invitation to converse about all things farang. There's also a video game called "Smile Back or Else!" where you can blast strangers to smithereens if they fail to acknowledge your friendly gesture appropriately. And then there's the self-help group called "How to Win Friends and Convince Complete Strangers that You're Not a Psycho Creep." I think any or all of these suggestions would help you in your time of need.

i went to the link but it doesn't work?

Try .co.th

[bkkjames]

For fun (or self-inflicted brain damage) today for the first time in a decade I made an attempt to say hello to a farang walking down the street.

He looked at me and said, "Get Stuffed".

I said, "Not today dear I have already had one"

Experiment over.

Next topic please.

[NanLaew]

Would you say hello to every Farang that you saw on the street back home?

I think a more appropriate analogy would be, would a Thai visiting or living in the UK, US or wherever, try and make eye contact or acknowledge an Thai stranger in public?

The OP and others (in other similar threads) state that their Thai partner considers this lack of acknowledgement as unusual behaviour. However, they should consider if their Thai partner has ever been in a similar situation, ie. in a foreign country and seeing a Thai stranger in public.

Other claims about social one-upmanship or being rude are all in the mind of the claimant. Remember, most western kids were brought up on the mantra, 'Never talk to a stranger'.

Maybe they just need a hug.

[mstribling]

Would you say hello to every Farang that you saw on the street back home?

I think a more appropriate analogy would be, would a Thai visiting or living in the UK, US or wherever, try and make eye contact or acknowledge an Thai stranger in public?

The OP and others (in other similar threads) state that their Thai partner considers this lack of acknowledgement as unusual behaviour. However, they should consider if their Thai partner has ever been in a similar situation, ie. in a foreign country and seeing a Thai stranger in public.

Other claims about social one-upmanship or being rude are all in the mind of the claimant. Remember, most western kids were brought up on the mantra, 'Never talk to a stranger'.

Maybe they just need a hug.

I am almost certain a Thai would indeed talk to a stranger, if they were Thai. My wife will talk on the phone for 10 minutes about food to somebody who has called the wrong number.

[NanLaew]

... on the very odd occasion I will take the dog to the coffee shop ...

You said it, not me.

[NanLaew]

The Dreamer, landowner (3 Rais) with A Catfish Pool,called a Catfish Farm, and a few sticks of Rubber or Eucalyptus trees,called a Plantation, and not forgetting the Mansion they built for 300,000 baht.

49 rai actually... and I let the 5 fish ponds go after the floods so apart from some rice, it's all pigs all the time now. Two point two mill, 826 sq m, inside pool, 4 bed/bath on 3 floors to be precise. Oh... and the wine cellar too, don't forget that.

And they were probably anti social and boring,back in their own Country.

Did I mention the moat and drawbridge?

Dont worry about it,it's no great loss!

Don't worry... I don't.

[MAJIC]

The Dreamer, landowner (3 Rais) with A Catfish Pool,called a Catfish Farm, and a few sticks of Rubber or Eucalyptus trees,called a Plantation, and not forgetting the Mansion they built for 300,000 baht.

49 rai actually... and I let the 5 fish ponds go after the floods so apart from some rice, it's all pigs all the time now. Two point two mill, 826 sq m, inside pool, 4 bed/bath on 3 floors to be precise. Oh... and the wine cellar too, don't forget that.

And they were probably anti social and boring,back in their own Country.

Did I mention the moat and drawbridge?

Dont worry about it,it's no great loss!

Don't worry... I don't.

Darn,I should have remembered the Pig Farm.

Edited January 26, 2011 by MAJIC

[61guitarman61]

Having asked a simple question, and watching the three ring circus assemble as the result, has been quite enjoyable. All manner of responses, from constructive and insightful to mean spirited to ridiculous to plain old asinine. The most anti social coming from long timers who I would have thought to have shown how living in this utopian environment, (thats why you all came in the first place, right?), calmed your raw western nerves, smoothed away all your jackarse edges, and turned you more like those around you in the land of smiles. But dam_n... If this is your happy place, some of you must have been the most miserable cusses on whatever continent you came from. Remarks made in jest are cool as hell. Remarks that are never constructive but rather cynical and abusive and derisive and just plain negative, perpetually flowing from the same individuals as their common mantras in response to all topics, all the while telling everyone to chill out cuz it's all in fun, are most likely the same dill weeds who do all the snubbery discussed here. Your unsavory attitudes about EVERYTHING are just a freakin bummer. I would suggest steering away from the alcohol for a while and maybe check out something in the opiate family. God help us all if you were nice guys before you came here and it is this place that does this to people.....

[appropriate]

No wonder nobody wants to be your friend.

[iono]

Having asked a simple question, and watching the three ring circus assemble as the result, has been quite enjoyable. All manner of responses, from constructive and insightful to mean spirited to ridiculous to plain old asinine. The most anti social coming from long timers who I would have thought to have shown how living in this utopian environment, (thats why you all came in the first place, right?), calmed your raw western nerves, smoothed away all your jackarse edges, and turned you more like those around you in the land of smiles. But dam_n... If this is your happy place, some of you must have been the most miserable cusses on whatever continent you came from. Remarks made in jest are cool as hell. Remarks that are never constructive but rather cynical and abusive and derisive and just plain negative, perpetually flowing from the same individuals as their common mantras in response to all topics, all the while telling everyone to chill out cuz it's all in fun, are most likely the same dill weeds who do all the snubbery discussed here. Your unsavory attitudes about EVERYTHING are just a freakin bummer. I would suggest steering away from the alcohol for a while and maybe check out something in the opiate family. God help us all if you were nice guys before you came here and it is this place that does this to people.....

I've always asked my wife the same thing, what's up with these people...I don't see a lot of falangs and when I do pass by I give a smile or a nod or a how's it going, most of the time they are shocked as if they didn't think I could speak or that their cloak of invisibility slipped off...on that note, I have not live in Thailand that long, but I'm really becoming a bit of a prick.

[Chunky1]

So many of our members only associate with bottom feeding Thais in the entertainment industry and thus, rightly, view the word 'farang' as having a negative connotation.

Nice theory, but no cigar. I associate plenty with people who I suspect you (derogatorily and unnecessarily) call bottom feeders, and I think 'Farang' is the most sensible word out there for 'Westerner' in colloquial language. Farang is two syllables. The next best one would be something like 5 words/syllables. So if I can't be bothered to switch to the formal one then I sure as hell am not going to expect any Thai to do it when just chatting with me or anyone else.

Whether the word has a negative or positive connotation is dependent on the context and tone in which it is used, as is the case with any word. Whom one chooses to spend their time around will help shape their perception of the word.

I think that well educated Thais do not use the word farang too often because they realize that when their countrymen use the word it has a connotation to it that the user is not worldly. For example, when Thais are saying stuff like "Farang like/don't like this" or "Farang do/don't this" it tends to have a tone to it as though this individual has never spoken to or seen a farang before and is forming their opinion off of a film they read the subtitles on.

I am totally indifferent to all of this though to be honest. I can't remember the last I got offended by anything.

Edited January 26, 2011 by Chunky1

[SteeleJoe]

I think a more appropriate analogy would be, would a Thai visiting or living in the UK, US or wherever, try and make eye contact or acknowledge an Thai stranger in public?

After about 3 decades observing Thais here and abroad, I'm going to say, "Yes. Most likely".

[jdinasia]

Having asked a simple question, and watching the three ring circus assemble as the result, has been quite enjoyable. All manner of responses, from constructive and insightful to mean spirited to ridiculous to plain old asinine. The most anti social coming from long timers who I would have thought to have shown how living in this utopian environment, (thats why you all came in the first place, right?), calmed your raw western nerves, smoothed away all your jackarse edges, and turned you more like those around you in the land of smiles. But dam_n... If this is your happy place, some of you must have been the most miserable cusses on whatever continent you came from. Remarks made in jest are cool as hell. Remarks that are never constructive but rather cynical and abusive and derisive and just plain negative, perpetually flowing from the same individuals as their common mantras in response to all topics, all the while telling everyone to chill out cuz it's all in fun, are most likely the same dill weeds who do all the snubbery discussed here. Your unsavory attitudes about EVERYTHING are just a freakin bummer. I would suggest steering away from the alcohol for a while and maybe check out something in the opiate family. God help us all if you were nice guys before you came here and it is this place that does this to people.....

Perhaps your attitude shows on your face, and that causes people not to respond

Bitter, table for one? Your table is now ready

[DP25]

I think a more appropriate analogy would be, would a Thai visiting or living in the UK, US or wherever, try and make eye contact or acknowledge an Thai stranger in public?

How would they know the stranger is a Thai? Lots of Asians in the US, very few of them are Thai. I'm sure they'd figure that out quickly and stop trying to talk to strangers in public.

[jdinasia]

I think a more appropriate analogy would be, would a Thai visiting or living in the UK, US or wherever, try and make eye contact or acknowledge an Thai stranger in public?

How would they know the stranger is a Thai? Lots of Asians in the US, very few of them are Thai. I'm sure they'd figure that out quickly and stop trying to talk to strangers in public.

narrow it down to .... SEAsians (a more identifiable look maybe? ) and the answer would be .. No. Not likely.

[WarpSpeed]

Like others have said your skin color does not entitle you to a greeting. It would look foolish to go up to an unknown person and say hello. However if im fishing somewhere and i see an other farang i do try to say hello or communicate and most of the times i get acknowledged.(they got no where to run )

I dont pull the same stunt in the Big C or carefour, maybe if im behind them in the cue other then that going out of my way to say hello does look a bit strange to me.

This subject has been discussed in the past.

I think that people also have the tendency to overlook the fact that just because you're Caucasian or western looking does not mean you even speak English either and just acknowledging someone else could be an uncomfortable position if they can't have an actual conversation..

There are also numerous other nationalities here that come from only recently open societies and aren't used to socializing in such an open manner given the previously closed and restrictive nature of their origins. Many of the eastern block nations come to mind for example..

I can always try german or if im really lucky Dutch. But i think my thai already supasses my schoolbook french

I noticed you capitalized the "Dutch" but not "German" nor "French" and not speaking French is no loss anyways ...

[NanLaew]

I would suggest steering away from the alcohol for a while and maybe check out something in the opiate family.

Maybe some of the cynical old farts blethering away have a better grip on life in LOS because they avoid the weed.

Just a thought.

Now that you have made an off topic post on your own thread, suggested breaking the law and raised so many varied responses, don't you now feel just a little bit wanted?

[SteeleJoe]

I would suggest steering away from the alcohol for a while and maybe check out something in the opiate family.

Maybe some of the cynical old farts blethering away have a better grip on life in LOS because they avoid the weed.

Opiates: morphine, codeine, thebaine, papervine (byproducts of opium)

Weed: Cannabis (aka marijuana)

Would hate for you to buy the wrong drugs.

[StreetCowboy]

Having asked a simple question, and watching the three ring circus assemble as the result, has been quite enjoyable. All manner of responses, from constructive and insightful to mean spirited to ridiculous to plain old asinine. The most anti social coming from long timers who I would have thought to have shown how living in this utopian environment, (thats why you all came in the first place, right?), calmed your raw western nerves, smoothed away all your jackarse edges, and turned you more like those around you in the land of smiles. But dam_n... If this is your happy place, some of you must have been the most miserable cusses on whatever continent you came from. Remarks made in jest are cool as hell. Remarks that are never constructive but rather cynical and abusive and derisive and just plain negative, perpetually flowing from the same individuals as their common mantras in response to all topics, all the while telling everyone to chill out cuz it's all in fun, are most likely the same dill weeds who do all the snubbery discussed here. Your unsavory attitudes about EVERYTHING are just a freakin bummer. I would suggest steering away from the alcohol for a while and maybe check out something in the opiate family. God help us all if you were nice guys before you came here and it is this place that does this to people.....

I've always asked my wife the same thing, what's up with these people...I don't see a lot of falangs and when I do pass by I give a smile or a nod or a how's it going, most of the time they are shocked as if they didn't think I could speak or that their cloak of invisibility slipped off...on that note, I have not live in Thailand that long, but I'm really becoming a bit of a prick.

I'm delighted you're doing your bit to fit in. For some of us, it comes naturally, and for some of us, its the main reason we are here (not me, obviously !).

Very often, when I see a farang in the supermarket, I'll let my eyes linger a moment longer, thinking "do I know him from the bairns' school, or a work or social chance meeting" and if our eyes catch, I'll smile and nod, and I'll say 'hello' in whatever is my native tongue, and, if he does the same, try to say thanks or hello or something in his native tongue out of politenessl and if he doesn't notice then probably its because he's worried about his mortgage, or his divorce, or some obscure but life-threatening disease affecting his children or parents, or the permutations in the Littlewoods Pools, or something else of importance to him (or her, as appropriate) and I let it go. And sometimes I get distracted from tring to remember if 7 score draws is better than a leaking cold water pipe, and whether I emailed my dear old mother last week, and realise someone has just said hello, but I can't recognise them from the back...

Anyway, I figure, if he was bothered about it he would post on TV. So I really am sorry. I was momentarily distracted by trying to compare the price of beans in bangkok with morning glory in the east end, and I regret any offence caused.

But this thread has got me really worried now - if some people worry so much about the thoughtlessness or downright rudeness of others - what about the other personal failings of sttangers? How many people have I offended by my slothfulness, or lack of commitment? My poor personal dishabilement, or wanton use of pompous foreign phrases whose meaning I can only guess at? My grandiloquency and pomposity. Oh my word, I am transfigured with guilt and insincerity.

Imagine how much worse life would be if you took it seriously?

SC

[Flatouthruthefog]

<br />No wonder nobody wants to be your friend.<br />

<br /><br /><br />

Mmmm, no, not at all.

I like your point(s),OP,and the excellent last response from Street Cowboy. The OP's positive attitude is offering friendship (in a brief, informal, non committal way). What the 'hades' is wrong with that, half a planet away from our western homes?

I wasn't going to bother responding to this, apart from 2 superb experiences which happened to me just last evening.

I was sitting in a tiny Thai bar on their awful concrete furniture, enjoying a cheap beer and watching the world go by, waiting for a fellow convert to the smooth, cheap Archa (Red Horse) beer.

A tall farang wearing a hat and dark glasses walked past and glanced at me. I didn't know him from Adam (or Eve), but i just gave him a friendly nod as he walked by. About 15 seconds later he back-tracked, took off his glasses and shook my hand. He was a bright and fascinating retired American i had met at a Christmas party and regretted never getting his e-mail. A very happy and promising friendship was sealed!! He went on his way, equally happily, to another appointment.

Two minutes later, a small motorcycle roared up, ridden by a short squat,short-blond cut farang who was obviously aiming to park at the bar I was in. As he turned in he saw me and positively glared at me. Maybe I was in his seat? I smiled and nodded back, and as I did so he eased off the brakes and came in to park next door. A laundry. A closed laundry.

Having stopped (but not his engine), and obviously considered the situation, he turned back the way he had come and screeched away, never to be seen again.

The world is made up of these people. They walk among us. Let's offer friendship. And look at the possible rewards!! And if it's rejected, offer it again.

Why ever not?

[rott]

For fun (or self-inflicted brain damage) today for the first time in a decade I made an attempt to say hello to a farang walking down the street.

He looked at me and said, "Get Stuffed".

I said, "Not today dear I have already had one"

Experiment over.

Next topic please.

That was me and what I actually said (in the spirit of comradely farang bandinage) was '' Piss off you lonely and friendless looking, SGH, ManU supporting, Canuck gobshite, but on the other hand if you're getting the ale in I'll come and have a straightener with you''. But you just muttered something and walked straight past me.

Last time I offer the hand of friendship to a stranger.

[jackr]

This little nugget again is it. For the newbies; not all farang here are sound of mind, in fact there are some real screwballs knocking around and it may be in your interest to avoid being buddy-buddy with everyone.

[StreetCowboy]

This little nugget again is it. For the newbies; not all farang here are sound of mind, in fact there are some real screwballs knocking around and it may be in your interest to avoid being buddy-buddy with everyone.

Speak for yourself, mate...

I'm as sane as the next man, depending on who I am stood beside.

SC

[Berkshire]

Would you say hello to every Farang that you saw on the street back home?

I think a more appropriate analogy would be, would a Thai visiting or living in the UK, US or wherever, try and make eye contact or acknowledge an Thai stranger in public?

The OP and others (in other similar threads) state that their Thai partner considers this lack of acknowledgement as unusual behaviour. However, they should consider if their Thai partner has ever been in a similar situation, ie. in a foreign country and seeing a Thai stranger in public.

Other claims about social one-upmanship or being rude are all in the mind of the claimant. Remember, most western kids were brought up on the mantra, 'Never talk to a stranger'.

Maybe they just need a hug.

Sorry NanLaew, but you miss the mark. A MUCH better and appropriate analogy would be a Thai visiting or living in the UK/US and trying to make eye contact or acknowledge every stranger who LOOKED Thai (read Asian). It may not be received well and they'll find out pretty quick that most Asian expats in the west are not Thai and have very little in common. But I agree with your other points.

[mstribling]

Not sure about that. My wife, and this is only one Thai lady, not the entirety of Thailand, can ID most Asians nationality based upon their appearance and mannerisms.

She gets fooled by Koreans and Chinese at times.

I have NO doubt she could spot. Thai anywhere in the world.

Then they would soon be eating.

[Berkshire]

Not sure about that. My wife, and this is only one Thai lady, not the entirety of Thailand, can ID most Asians nationality based upon their appearance and mannerisms.

She gets fooled by Koreans and Chinese at times.

I have NO doubt she could spot. Thai anywhere in the world.

Then they would soon be eating.

Well that's an amazing skill. I would love to put her to the test. I knew Asians in the west who couldn't tell each other apart. Thais, Filipinos, Vietnamese, (basically all of SE Asia) and even Chinese, look very much the same. Thais in Thailand can't tell a Burmese apart from a Thai until they speak or display some other uniquely Burmese trait.

[mstribling]

I guess so. She can tell which baan people are from in our area with good results.

She can spot a Khmer out of the blue, but will speak Thai to the Mexican dude at sunrise. Funny.

As far as your test. Pm me when you get it set up.

[mstribling]

It would be easy to spot Thais out of a line-up of Asians. Just make that Knock, knock sound the old lady's make when making somtam and watch whose heads turn.

OP- I'm sure your perplexion is resolved now huh?

[61guitarman61]

<br />No wonder nobody wants to be your friend.<br />

<br /><br /><br />

Mmmm, no, not at all.

I like your point(s),OP,and the excellent last response from Street Cowboy. The OP's positive attitude is offering friendship (in a brief, informal, non committal way). What the 'hades' is wrong with that, half a planet away from our western homes?

I wasn't going to bother responding to this, apart from 2 superb experiences which happened to me just last evening.

I was sitting in a tiny Thai bar on their awful concrete furniture, enjoying a cheap beer and watching the world go by, waiting for a fellow convert to the smooth, cheap Archa (Red Horse) beer.

A tall farang wearing a hat and dark glasses walked past and glanced at me. I didn't know him from Adam (or Eve), but i just gave him a friendly nod as he walked by. About 15 seconds later he back-tracked, took off his glasses and shook my hand. He was a bright and fascinating retired American i had met at a Christmas party and regretted never getting his e-mail. A very happy and promising friendship was sealed!! He went on his way, equally happily, to another appointment.

Two minutes later, a small motorcycle roared up, ridden by a short squat,short-blond cut farang who was obviously aiming to park at the bar I was in. As he turned in he saw me and positively glared at me. Maybe I was in his seat? I smiled and nodded back, and as I did so he eased off the brakes and came in to park next door. A laundry. A closed laundry.

Having stopped (but not his engine), and obviously considered the situation, he turned back the way he had come and screeched away, never to be seen again.

The world is made up of these people. They walk among us. Let's offer friendship. And look at the possible rewards!! And if it's rejected, offer it again.

Why ever not?

This is really more the point I have tried to get across but apparently failed at miserably. I am not trying to make life long friendships with anyone but simply noticing, in my own friendly acknowledgment of another's existence, that there is this buffer zone around people, whether created deliberately or just through life's circumstances, that is sometimes so thick that they cannot even see another human being anymore unless it serves a purpose for them in some way. I've read some respondents say that they are just to busy and into their own lives too much to notice or care about anyone else around them. Thats fine. Your choice. I don't really care. Others have seemed to draw from what I've written that I am just hungry for the companionship of another westerner and lonely. I have said that I already know a plethora of western people from my life back in the states with whom I maintain correspondence, phone contact or even skype contact. Since moving here, I have a growing circle of friends and acquaintances, mostly Thai but also some western, whom I have met through many different circumstances, the least of which would be through a nod and smile on the street or while waiting in line at Tesco.

Let me be as clear as I can possibly be: I simply noticed a phenomena and thought I would ask if anyone else ever noticed it as well. Much like if one were to witness the Northern Lights on a dark winter night in northern Wisconsin. I am not passionate about the Northern Lights, upon having witnessed the phenomena, I am not affected either positively or negatively, and I do not wish that I could bring the Northern Lights home with me and have a relationship with them. Simply OBSERVATION. I am more disturbed by some of the drivel has been written here by other westerners that have come to this continent, for whatever private reason, who are seemingly quite unhappy, unbalanced, out of touch with humanity, and some who appear to be borderline sociopaths. Just another observation.

As for me, I will always greet other people as I would like to be greeted: open countenance, open hands, a smile, without any preconstructed wall around me. If that individual chooses to be anti-social, it does not affect me in the least. And if after snubbing my nod and smile, I noticed that person dropping to the floor clutching his/her chest gasping for air, I would most certainly lend my assistance with the same haste I would use with one of my closest friends. Life is too short to be so protective of one's own private little bubble in which they exist.

Those who rebuff their fellow man, for any reason, are truly the lonely ones and I pity them.