Bad Thai Parenting

[TimeBandit2]

Why do Thais insist on being lousy parents? Everyone has seen the kids with their parents running wild in the supermarkets - why is this tolerated? One thinks, "where are their parents" oh....."standing right there smiling while little Somchai tears the place apart." If you do something about this, like react to the disruption, they hate you. It is a science experiment to see how messed up they can raise a kid?

[needforspeed]

They don't like being bad parents, they just been raised themselfs like this and never been learn anything after.

[RakJungTorlae]

Correct me if I’m wrong but UK children are running around wild and are some of the naughty children I’ve ever seen. Thai children are quite docile in my books but I’m sure there are a few lose cannons but if he or she is not raining to much havoc then Thai people think it’s quite lovely to see a kid with a bit of energy. As for the parents there are lousy ass parents all over the world. As there are more westerners then Thais!

[bermondburi]

Interesting that you mention supermarkets. My wife and I now shop separately with our children because it used to be such a nightmare. We have two boys aged three and four and things would get very hectic. They might be both in the trolley and throwing things out of the trolley or fighting each other whilst my wife takes ages to decide what brand of rice to get. Meanwhile I am getting more and more pissed off with her taking so long because it's me who is trying to control the children. I don't really want to have to give them a smack in the middle of the store because then everyone is looking at me like I'm the big bad foreigner who doesn't love his kids and my wife gets embarrassed but sometimes it would happen. The other thing that would happen is that they wouldn't be in the trolley but running around in the aisles and again I'm trying to push the trolley and watch to see what they are doing. I think for them it is exciting to be out somewhere so they like to have fun and play with each other. We noticed though that things were fine when they weren't with each other, it was only when they were together that it used to be a nightmare. Our solution: we go to Big C together and my wife takes the oldest with her, I go across the road to Big King by Carrefour with the youngest because he's more of a handful where I have a few cans of beer. My wife then calls me when she is at the checkout and I then cross back over to help her and the stuff into the taxi. Problem solved and I've had a few beers as well. To the OP I would say give people a break. It's not easy for people with kids and it depends on what you mean when you say running wild. Generally speaking I very rarely see any kids worse than mine so I know what I'm talking about. In an ideal world we would have a babysitter who could look after them whilst we went shopping but that isn't going to happen. Children will be children at the end of the day. Lighten up.

[WhingeingMoaners]

"When it comes to behaving badly, Britain's teenagers are the best in Europe, according to a report by the Institute of Public Policy Research (IPPR)."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2006/nov/02/drugsandalcohol.britishidentityandsociety

[Englander]

"When it comes to behaving badly, Britain's teenagers are the best in Europe, according to a report by the Institute of Public Policy Research (IPPR)."

http://www.guardian....ntityandsociety

Thats what happens when government decides to take the role of the father.

Edited January 27, 2011 by Englander

[canuckamuck]

Very few cultures fail parenting like the Arabs and the Chinese do in regards to male children without boundaries.

But I am frequently horrified by the lack of parental control in Asia and North America.

[WhingeingMoaners]

"When it comes to behaving badly, Britain's teenagers are the best in Europe, according to a report by the Institute of Public Policy Research (IPPR)."

http://www.guardian....ntityandsociety

Thats what happens when government decides to take the role of the father.

British parents ignorant about their children

"The breakdown of the family was last night blamed for the shocking numbers of

teenagers abusing hard drugs, alcohol and cigarettes.

Britain was revealed to have the worst record in Europe for youngsters trying

addictive substances, according to an authoritative survey.

But equally shocking was the standard of parenting compared to other nations

revealed by the study. Fewer than half of British parents always knew where

their children were on a Saturday night."

http://www.dailymail...t-children.html

[Heng]

Surely not as bad as the myriad # of parents who aren't even around to even practice poor parenting.

[61guitarman61]

The Thai way with children is to give them anything they want and cater to their whims. A crying baby = a bad mom. ANYTHING to stop the baby from crying. I've had this discussion with my wife pertaining to our baby. (This one, by the way, is number four for me - three with western wife and now with my Thai bride.) If she had it her way the baby would never cry at all, which on the surface sounds utopian, but is not realistic nor necessarily healthy for the baby's developing lungs. This is not unique in the universe either with clear examples in the USA in the Hispanic community, another culture which caters to their children in an exaggerated manner. Not meaning to sound like blowing my own horn in any way, but my first three were never allowed to run wild, taught to have indoor voices, taught to respect other people's things, expected to eat the meals served them, (with certain exceptions for foods one or all really disliked or were allergic to of course), expected to do chores around the house, not allowed to disrespect adults, taught by example to be helpful and aware and concerned about others, and expected to interact socially. I was a spanking parent, but judiciously and NOT belt buckle beatings or otherwise abusive forms of corporal punishment. The few times they actually got spankings seemed to stick in their minds I guess and 99% of the time there was not even a need for using a spanking as a deterrent threat. I have seen the Dr Spock methodology in action and quite frankly don't quite understand how these kids can function properly in society as they grow up. Getting back to the Thai way, I have found that I need to have a very open mind as some of the traditional things that are done, with both the baby and the mother in the time surrounding birth, are superstitious and sometimes downright weird. So child rearing will most certainly be different as well. I keep putting in my two cents worth but it is a battle to try and interject some of my western ways, like using a pacifier for instance. Strange as can be to the Thais.

[Ulysses G.]

I always notice how much more pleasant and polite most Thai children are compared to most Western children - not sure what the OP is on about.

[nocturn]

these generalizations are idiotic.

I have farang friends who are such lousy parents that i would not let them take care of my cat, let alone my daughter. Likewise i know some very conscientious Thais.

Poor parenting isn't Thai specific, nor, as the OP certainly demonstrates, is a sneering sense of cultural superiority.

[Berkshire]

I'm sorry, Timebandit, but what an incredibly ignorant attitude. Have you never seen kids running around supermarkets in the west? In restaurants? Etc, etc. Geez man, you see some kids running around the Big C doing what kids the world over do, and you immediately come to the conclusion that Thais are bad parents? The whole premise of this thread is absurd beyond words.

[nocturn]

Interesting that you mention supermarkets. My wife and I now shop separately with our children because it used to be such a nightmare. We have two boys aged three and four and things would get very hectic. They might be both in the trolley and throwing things out of the trolley or fighting each other whilst my wife takes ages to decide what brand of rice to get. Meanwhile I am getting more and more pissed off with her taking so long because it's me who is trying to control the children. I don't really want to have to give them a smack in the middle of the store because then everyone is looking at me like I'm the big bad foreigner who doesn't love his kids and my wife gets embarrassed but sometimes it would happen. The other thing that would happen is that they wouldn't be in the trolley but running around in the aisles and again I'm trying to push the trolley and watch to see what they are doing. I think for them it is exciting to be out somewhere so they like to have fun and play with each other. We noticed though that things were fine when they weren't with each other, it was only when they were together that it used to be a nightmare. Our solution: we go to Big C together and my wife takes the oldest with her, I go across the road to Big King by Carrefour with the youngest because he's more of a handful where I have a few cans of beer. My wife then calls me when she is at the checkout and I then cross back over to help her and the stuff into the taxi. Problem solved and I've had a few beers as well. To the OP I would say give people a break. It's not easy for people with kids and it depends on what you mean when you say running wild. Generally speaking I very rarely see any kids worse than mine so I know what I'm talking about. In an ideal world we would have a babysitter who could look after them whilst we went shopping but that isn't going to happen. Children will be children at the end of the day. Lighten up.

excellent solution! You get quietly pissed before driving the whole family home.

[bifftastic]

Well, I reckon there's some kids who are well behaved and some who aren't, in just about any place you go in the world.

My g/f's two girls are very well behaved, because she takes the time to make them that way.

Sure, they have their moments but are soon brought back in line with a few choice words, often not a scolding, but they know it's not going to be long before 'por leaw, nang dee dee na' turns into something much less desirable!

There's plenty of opportunity for them to run about and go crazy at home or in the neighbourhood but when we go to the market or out somewhere in public, they're well mannered, polite and well behaved. I must say, I'm very impressed with how she's brought them up.

I don't think it's anything to do with one nationality or another, it's down to individuals. I see kids here at home in England exhibiting behaviour from both ends of the spectrum, from well-behaved to little monkeys you just want to slap.

Same everywhere else I've been, Europe, the US, New Zealand, the Caribbean.

[TheWalkingMan]

Bad kid...

TheWalkingMan

[onnut]

Interesting that you mention supermarkets. My wife and I now shop separately with our children because it used to be such a nightmare. We have two boys aged three and four and things would get very hectic. They might be both in the trolley and throwing things out of the trolley or fighting each other whilst my wife takes ages to decide what brand of rice to get. Meanwhile I am getting more and more pissed off with her taking so long because it's me who is trying to control the children. I don't really want to have to give them a smack in the middle of the store because then everyone is looking at me like I'm the big bad foreigner who doesn't love his kids and my wife gets embarrassed but sometimes it would happen. The other thing that would happen is that they wouldn't be in the trolley but running around in the aisles and again I'm trying to push the trolley and watch to see what they are doing. I think for them it is exciting to be out somewhere so they like to have fun and play with each other. We noticed though that things were fine when they weren't with each other, it was only when they were together that it used to be a nightmare. Our solution: we go to Big C together and my wife takes the oldest with her, I go across the road to Big King by Carrefour with the youngest because he's more of a handful where I have a few cans of beer. My wife then calls me when she is at the checkout and I then cross back over to help her and the stuff into the taxi. Problem solved and I've had a few beers as well. To the OP I would say give people a break. It's not easy for people with kids and it depends on what you mean when you say running wild. Generally speaking I very rarely see any kids worse than mine so I know what I'm talking about. In an ideal world we would have a babysitter who could look after them whilst we went shopping but that isn't going to happen. Children will be children at the end of the day. Lighten up.

excellent solution! You get quietly pissed before driving the whole family home.

read it again! there is a taxi mentioned.

[bermondburi]

Interesting that you mention supermarkets. My wife and I now shop separately with our children because it used to be such a nightmare. We have two boys aged three and four and things would get very hectic. They might be both in the trolley and throwing things out of the trolley or fighting each other whilst my wife takes ages to decide what brand of rice to get. Meanwhile I am getting more and more pissed off with her taking so long because it's me who is trying to control the children. I don't really want to have to give them a smack in the middle of the store because then everyone is looking at me like I'm the big bad foreigner who doesn't love his kids and my wife gets embarrassed but sometimes it would happen. The other thing that would happen is that they wouldn't be in the trolley but running around in the aisles and again I'm trying to push the trolley and watch to see what they are doing. I think for them it is exciting to be out somewhere so they like to have fun and play with each other. We noticed though that things were fine when they weren't with each other, it was only when they were together that it used to be a nightmare. Our solution: we go to Big C together and my wife takes the oldest with her, I go across the road to Big King by Carrefour with the youngest because he's more of a handful where I have a few cans of beer. My wife then calls me when she is at the checkout and I then cross back over to help her and the stuff into the taxi. Problem solved and I've had a few beers as well. To the OP I would say give people a break. It's not easy for people with kids and it depends on what you mean when you say running wild. Generally speaking I very rarely see any kids worse than mine so I know what I'm talking about. In an ideal world we would have a babysitter who could look after them whilst we went shopping but that isn't going to happen. Children will be children at the end of the day. Lighten up.

excellent solution! You get quietly pissed before driving the whole family home.

I hope this was a joke but if you had read what I had said " My wife then calls me when she is at the checkout and I then cross back over to help her and the stuff into the taxi " .

[robblok]

beromundi,

Good solution i know how kids can be. My wife has a sister with 3 of them and all are different. The middle one is a regular menace doesnt listen to what is being said only responds to punishment. They are all raised badly because mom and dad both work and grandma takes the kids. If i ever get kids.. i hope for girls easier to handle. Anyway long ago i had 2 stephkids girls they were easy to handle.. hard to get them to clean their room but otherwise easy.

[MJP]

I always notice how much more pleasant and polite most Thai children are compared to most Western children - not sure what the OP is on about.

+1

Thai childrens behavior is incomparable to that of the feral offspring of the Insel Affen.

[mickylonster]

Interesting that you mention supermarkets. My wife and I now shop separately with our children because it used to be such a nightmare. We have two boys aged three and four and things would get very hectic. They might be both in the trolley and throwing things out of the trolley or fighting each other whilst my wife takes ages to decide what brand of rice to get. Meanwhile I am getting more and more pissed off with her taking so long because it's me who is trying to control the children. I don't really want to have to give them a smack in the middle of the store because then everyone is looking at me like I'm the big bad foreigner who doesn't love his kids and my wife gets embarrassed but sometimes it would happen. The other thing that would happen is that they wouldn't be in the trolley but running around in the aisles and again I'm trying to push the trolley and watch to see what they are doing. I think for them it is exciting to be out somewhere so they like to have fun and play with each other. We noticed though that things were fine when they weren't with each other, it was only when they were together that it used to be a nightmare. Our solution: we go to Big C together and my wife takes the oldest with her, I go across the road to Big King by Carrefour with the youngest because he's more of a handful where I have a few cans of beer. My wife then calls me when she is at the checkout and I then cross back over to help her and the stuff into the taxi. Problem solved and I've had a few beers as well. To the OP I would say give people a break. It's not easy for people with kids and it depends on what you mean when you say running wild. Generally speaking I very rarely see any kids worse than mine so I know what I'm talking about. In an ideal world we would have a babysitter who could look after them whilst we went shopping but that isn't going to happen. Children will be children at the end of the day. Lighten up.

excellent solution! You get quietly pissed before driving the whole family home.

You should perhaps read the post again , he states `I then cross back over to help her and the stuff into a taxi ` lol

[isanbirder]

Why should Thai parents have the same concept of parenting you do? We do it our way, they do it theirs. You've decided to live in the middle of a country which does it the Thai way.

[bermondburi]

beromundi,

Good solution i know how kids can be. My wife has a sister with 3 of them and all are different. The middle one is a regular menace doesnt listen to what is being said only responds to punishment. They are all raised badly because mom and dad both work and grandma takes the kids. If i ever get kids.. i hope for girls easier to handle. Anyway long ago i had 2 stephkids girls they were easy to handle.. hard to get them to clean their room but otherwise easy.

I reckon girls are easier when they are younger because they are taught to be obedient in Thai tradition, see the differences between the sexes in Thai schools, but when they get older it could get tricky. Think of not just one, time a month but two or three. All those hormones running around. Also you don't have to worry about girls getting pregnant. Wear a condom boys and off you go, that's pretty much it for boys. I feel sorry for my sons' future girlfriends of whom I'm sure there will be many.

[beano2274]

I always notice how much more pleasant and polite most Thai children are compared to most Western children - not sure what the OP is on about.

+1

Thai childrens behavior is incomparable to that of the feral offspring of the Insel Affen.

Thanks we might be Insel Affen to you, but by the rules of the forum that is flaming.

[JurgenG]

Very few cultures fail parenting like the Arabs and the Chinese do in regards to male children without boundaries.

But I am frequently horrified by the lack of parental control in Asia and North America.

This is the cover of Time magazine this week (or maybe last), if you go to a bookstore, you can't miss it :

'Tiger Mother': Are Chinese Moms Really So Different?

"Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior,"

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,2042535,00.html#ixzz1CConen91

Asian kids rank first in almost all disciplines in all recent international tests.

[afarang]

Interesting that you mention supermarkets. My wife and I now shop separately with our children because it used to be such a nightmare. We have two boys aged three and four and things would get very hectic. They might be both in the trolley and throwing things out of the trolley or fighting each other whilst my wife takes ages to decide what brand of rice to get. Meanwhile I am getting more and more pissed off with her taking so long because it's me who is trying to control the children. I don't really want to have to give them a smack in the middle of the store because then everyone is looking at me like I'm the big bad foreigner who doesn't love his kids and my wife gets embarrassed but sometimes it would happen. The other thing that would happen is that they wouldn't be in the trolley but running around in the aisles and again I'm trying to push the trolley and watch to see what they are doing. I think for them it is exciting to be out somewhere so they like to have fun and play with each other. We noticed though that things were fine when they weren't with each other, it was only when they were together that it used to be a nightmare. Our solution: we go to Big C together and my wife takes the oldest with her, I go across the road to Big King by Carrefour with the youngest because he's more of a handful where I have a few cans of beer. My wife then calls me when she is at the checkout and I then cross back over to help her and the stuff into the taxi. Problem solved and I've had a few beers as well. To the OP I would say give people a break. It's not easy for people with kids and it depends on what you mean when you say running wild. Generally speaking I very rarely see any kids worse than mine so I know what I'm talking about. In an ideal world we would have a babysitter who could look after them whilst we went shopping but that isn't going to happen. Children will be children at the end of the day. Lighten up.

excellent solution! You get quietly pissed before driving the whole family home.

Ummmm., You didn't see the word "TAXI"?

[wolf5370]

"When it comes to behaving badly, Britain's teenagers are the best in Europe, according to a report by the Institute of Public Policy Research (IPPR)."

http://www.guardian....ntityandsociety

Thats what happens when government decides to take the role of the father.

British parents ignorant about their children

"The breakdown of the family was last night blamed for the shocking numbers of

teenagers abusing hard drugs, alcohol and cigarettes.

Britain was revealed to have the worst record in Europe for youngsters trying

addictive substances, according to an authoritative survey.

But equally shocking was the standard of parenting compared to other nations

revealed by the study. Fewer than half of British parents always knew where

their children were on a Saturday night."

http://www.dailymail...t-children.html

I never put any stock into such polls - as House says, "Everyone lies". I always find that Britain gets low scores on almost any such nation vs national poll because then tend to tell the truth while others blatantly lie - some polls this is so obvious its laughable. Its like the EU, set of rules and only Britain and Germany seem to follow them - France has to be continually forced to allow British good through (they extended the foot and mouth crisis - and mad cow - banning relevent meat products - including crisps! - for years after the ban was lifted - then even lied about their own outbreaks!), SPain continues to fish in waters they have been told not too, to use larger vessels and take more stock. Some countries are just more honest and that kills polls like these.

How many parents KNOW where their teenage kids are at night? Kids lie - I did, every teen I knew did. Its all just garbage. Kids are kids are kids the world over - they do stupid things, lie about it, lie to their parents which ends up getting them into issues in the first place, and so on. There is no country on earth that does not have a section of society (the under class) where there are semi-ferral kids that have gone off the rails - there always was (ever seen Oliver Twist?) - and there always will be. In fact, in the UK there are more teens going to university than ever before - most kids are worried about their education in a way that never was when I was a kid there.

The other thing is that these polls are always done with an agenda in hand - therefore the results model the required conclusion as is always the way. Disraeli said: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

[dansat]

To the OP... how dare you even question the great people of Thailand. You should know by now it is against the law in the eyes of some people to question anything a Thai person does becuase after all this is the greatest nation on earth with the greatest people on earth. You should always do it the Thai way there way is best so never question it. We are only human farangs and we are know where near are superhuman Thai hosts we should just smile and wish we where that great.. Well that is how alot of the ' thai wannabe ' Farangs here on TV think anyway.

Really to answer your question OP . It is becuase quite a alot ( No not all ) of Thais have children not so much becuase they want them but rather they have children for a future investment thinking the more children they have the more money they get sent to them when the children are of working age. Thats the very sad but ture answer.

This reason alone can make perents become very lazy and uncaring to what the child/children do.

This is not about all thai people or even half of Thai people with children. But this is common with quite a few Thai's and how they think..... Money.

[cmsally]

Not easy to generalise, but seeing as a lot of talk about supermarkets, did bring back a memory of something I saw in the UK a couple of years ago. A mother who was probably in her early 30's with her small son of max. 8yrs., seeing as the mother quite tall, son could easily have been 6-7yrs. The mother was carrying one of the sticks which the sight impaired carry, ie not totally blind but pretty close. Her son was guiding her around when she needed it and picking things off the shelf and reading out the labels to her, to check it was the right item , then putting in the trolley. They were behind me at check out so it was definitely just the 2 of them. He also helped with the money/paying etc.

Really brought a lump to your throat, what a great little guy!

[MJP]

I always notice how much more pleasant and polite most Thai children are compared to most Western children - not sure what the OP is on about.

+1

Thai childrens behavior is incomparable to that of the feral offspring of the Insel Affen.

Thanks we might be Insel Affen to you, but by the rules of the forum that is flaming.

The British do love their rules and they simply love to queue.