Scared Of The Uk

[patongpanda]

I've spent most of my life outside of the UK, in various countries. My ageing parents haven't got long to live, so I have been planning to take my Thai Wife and two children there to experience it, and to get to know their Farang grandparents,

But I'm starting to look for excuses to back out... It would be cheaper for the oldies to meet us all in Phuket! The weather will be better!

To be honest the UK scares me, with stories of racist Chavs, lawlessness, xenophobia, petty mindedness... Don't attack me for saying this, it's what I've been thinking of since I hatched this plan to visit the UK.

I'm getting so stressed about it.

Tell me, is it as bad as I'm thinking?

Will my family be safe?

Is it worth the expense to actually go there?

It's only for two months (MAX) Just want to let the family know about their cultural heritage.

PP

[paully]

To be honest the UK scares me, with stories of racist Chavs, lawlessness, xenophobia, petty mindedness...

I'm getting so stressed about it.

Tell me, is it as bad as I'm thinking?

Will my family be safe? [/Quote]

Blimey, it's only for a visit for her - the country's not that bad. As long as your parents don't live in Bermondsey or Tower Hamlets, she should be fine. She may even enjoy it.

[snuggzzz]

It seems you are dreading moving out of your 'comfort zone'; let me reassure you that there is no breakdown of law and order in the UK. Like Thailand use common sense as to where you go and when in the UK. Your wife and children will be pleased to meet your parents and no doubt vice versa, so plan and enjoy your trip...!!!

[kennkate]

Yes it's cold and wet. Phuket is nicer Crime figures would depend where you are going to in the UK Like the other poster said . But the roads are safer.

[patongpanda]

Thankyou paully,

You're initially reassuring, but then you seem to imply that this Bermondsey and Tower Hamlets is like a poor Thai Hobbit entering Mordor!

I don't know where these places are, that's part of the problem, you know what to avoid I don't.

I remember last time I went to the UK just getting from the airport to the train station involved a little bit threatening environment. If I'm on my own I can just ignore, but I don't want to expose my family to it.

PP

[patongpanda]

It seems you are dreading moving out of your 'comfort zone'; let me reassure you that there is no breakdown of law and order in the UK. Like Thailand use common sense as to where you go and when in the UK. Your wife and children will be pleased to meet your parents and no doubt vice versa, so plan and enjoy your trip...!!!

Absolutely, I feel very comfortable, like no one is going to attack me or shout abuse at me. Not like I felt on the railway station in the UK. Never ever happened in Thailand or any other country.

I do feel like there's a veiled threat in what you say... stay out of the bad areas... avoid the Chavs... don't be outside when the pubs close. I don't have enough knowledge to use common sense because I have'nt lived there.

I know big city town centres are dangerous after dark, but what about local market towns, could we go out to a Thai restaurant than catch a late night bus back... that kind of thing...

Thanks for the reply,

PP

[MJP]

Getting back into the UK for a visit? Black Ops style, go in silent but go in heavy. Sub-200ft approach. Ghost recon around a real Tesco, the enemy wears hooded sweatshirts.

[7by7]

There are places in London and elsewhere that I would not want to out be alone in at night. (Bermondsey is in South East London, Tower Hamlets in East London; I know both places and the BNP attitude once common there is less than it was.)

There are places in Bangkok and elsewhere the same.

Many of the larger towns do have problems with drunks on Friday and Saturday nights, but the UK is not all falling down drunk chavs picking fights with passersby.

We could probably advise you more if you were to say where your parents lived.

[MAJIC]

Thankyou paully,

You're initially reassuring, but then you seem to imply that this Bermondsey and Tower Hamlets is like a poor Thai Hobbit entering Mordor!

I don't know where these places are, that's part of the problem, you know what to avoid I don't.

I remember last time I went to the UK just getting from the airport to the train station involved a little bit threatening environment. If I'm on my own I can just ignore, but I don't want to expose my family to it.

PP

I have to agree with Paully's summing up.

Don't believe all you hear about the UK,or worse read here on TV,its still a Safe Country, by any standards,but like anywhere some areas are below standard,usually created by the nere do wells of society,and get a bad name,like Bangkok in Thailand and Pattya, but it doesnt stop Thousands of Foreiners from living there,either.

There is virtually no bribery with the UK Police Force, (the tiny amount that are corrupt,get heavy Jail Sentances) Equality is the norm,with a strong sense of Justice.and the people are for the most part Friendly,and Responsive, like anywhere it relies on the individuals approach.

There is no need for concern, regarding your family, there are 30,000 Thais living permanently in the UK,who have made their homes there, they can't all be wrong and pining for Thailand,can they? and seem quite happy,just to go back for Holidays. There is also the quality of life to be considered far superior to Thailands general population standard of living,and poor Education ,Perhaps they know when they are well off ,living in a Democracy,with a real Welfare State,and a Good Health Service, instead of the pittance they receive in their own Country.

The UK is still a 1st World Country,....in spite of the many detractors on here,who would have you believe otherwise,with their obvious sour grapes posts,...the familiar pattern is: not to blame themselves when things went wrong for them in the UK, just cop out,and blame the system and the Country.

At the moment MSN have a survey of Safest / Unsafest Countries in the World,Thailand came 7th Unsafest Country in the World, I dont believe entirely in this kind of Survey/Poll,but it does make one think.....personally I have felt pretty safe in Thailand and the UK, but then I avoid Ghettos and bad areas, in both.

Have a nice trip,and fear not!

[MJP]

7th!!! I knew it was rough, but . . . . . . Linky pleasy!

I reckon the OP has perhaps become a little sessile in his ways, I know I have and no longer relish the thought of all that long haul nonsense, hell I can't even be bothered with stage 1, driving to the local airport.

It's all such a terrible bore!

Blighty Burnout, a known condition. Fear of form filling. Of ice falling from a gray sky. Of long (yet honest, wink, wink) faces shuffling around the BOGOF end of isle specials in Asda. Of the prices of basic necessities but not of the unnecessary. Of the Daily Mail, Richard Littlejohn and Liz Jones columns. Of questionable dress sense. Of traffic wardens and speed cameras. Of fuel stations where you actually have to fill the dam_n car yourself and pay 135 pence a litre for the privilege (an outrage, I mean you have to contaminate yourself with hydrocarbons in the process!) Of the droll Bland Biased Broadcasting Corporation's (one too many a bee there!) daily conditioning sessions. Of fish n' chips, which still to this day always seem like a good idea but without fail constitute a greasy culinary disappointment and indigestion and righteous indignation. Of bankers and bonuses and . . .

You get the idea.

Art of living in Blighty? Remain in your homes. Close all windows and doors. Duck n' cover! (Tesco home delivery, ebay, amazon . . . oh the joys of modern living).

Thing is, having been away so long, we only remember the good things. This country teaches us irreverence deep deep irreverence, a lesson I shall take back with me one day if I make it out of here alive. Reckon I could now quite happily exist in a state of perpetual irreverence in Blighty (never take the place seriously again, no more econobooms and associated 90 hour working weeks . . . HOO-F'ING-RAY!)

Fear not OP my dear. Remember this. Blighty is where they store all the Branston Pickle Original (in the big jars, with the big chunks!), a sizable block of proper mature cheddar and no bloody Som Tam!

Civilization!!!

[MrsExpat2B]

I live in Tower Hamlets and there is nothing wrong with it.

Alright there are some parts of London I wouldn't go to but same goes for Bangkok. If I'm honest I feel a lot safer in London.

[bifftastic]

Ok, I understand that looking from afar, it might appear to be a dangerous lawless shithole. But it's perfectly safe for a family to do what they like without fear.

On first visit London streets can, I suppose, appear a little intimidating, no-ones exactly beaming big smiles at each other and people getting on and off the trains can be a little...how shall I put it? Rude? But for the most part it's just on the surface.

As for the 'ghettos' well we don't really have any to be honest, particularly in London all areas have a mixture of nice and not-so-nice buildings and people.

I mean if you were to go wandering around some beat up housing estate at 2am, then you might come a cropper but why would you do that?

If you want to be in a small market town with your family and nip round the shops, go for something to eat, go to the pictures and get the bus home, you'll be fine. After all, that's what millions of people here do every day!

As for Bermondsey and Tower Hamlets, well I grew up near both of those places/areas. In fact Tower Hamlets is quite a large borough in East London, so it has some places that you might not feel comfortable walking around but, as I said before, you'd only be there in the first place if you lived there, which you don't. There's no way you could accidentally walk into a crack den or anything, just doesn't happen. Also in that borough there are some very desirable residencies. Tower Hamlets includes Canary Wharf and the Isle of Dogs, which could, in all honesty, have a better name but is one of the most developed and therefore expensive, parts of London.

Bermondsey's south of the river, includes Tower Bridge, Butlers Wharf, the design museum, all kinds of riverside up-market properties...it does indeed have some council estates but the same rule applies..why would you go there? Even if you did, you'd be surprised, I think, not everyone wants to kill you.

There will, of course, be some element of culture shock, but don't arrive with fear in your heart (we will smell it and eat you! ) just kidding

Really, don't worry, just use the normal caution you would anywhere, don't go into crack-dens, try not to buy guns in the street, avoid going to prison, that kind of thing.

Hope this helps,

Biff

[fredtitmus]

Op you had the balls to come to bangkok and travel round other countries so believe me dont worry about going home(unless you live in bradford),but seriously i do understand your concern regards to your wife and kids im going back in march and my tgf is going to follow but i will be working so i am quietly concerned about how people will treat her cos i have never been in this position before.

I dont know if you have noticed but we always think things are worse than they actually are,i blame the media for that.I wouldnt be worried about chavs etc the big shocker for you will be the price differance but i say think positive

think fish n chips

think meat and potatoe pie

think...the good old bbc

think bruce forsyth,jimmy saville,lionel blair,paul daniels,noel edmonds,michael barrymore,jimmy cricket,boy george,cliff richard,anthea turner,geoffrey(off rainbow)

[soihok]

Thing that scares me most is the weather.

I had not been back for about 6 years until 2009, had 3 weeks back there visiting family.

It was July but so cold that the wife didn't speak to me for a week ( not so bad thinking about it ).

End of the day, we were glad to get out of the place. Immigration at Manchester airport ( and the s**t hole airport it is, ripped carpets and scruffy seats, never mind an obstacle course of staircases and corridors ) is an embarrasment, stupid questions and comments from officials--- "How long is she stopping for?" ( She (!) had a six months visa ), " Is the child yours sir ? ", same family name in the childs British passport. S**theads.

Look what this thread has done to me now, I'm off on a rant. The feeling was of a country in decline really, glad I got out years ago.

Just as well I have no need to go back there.

My advice would be ,,,,meet them at somewhere nice ,,, like Spain.

[Castor83]

dont believe the newspapers. england is a very safe place. its an odds game really. and you greatly increase your chances of not being that guy, by doin a few, or rather not doin few things.

as others have said, you dont have to live here. i imagine its the same in bangkok. dont venture too far from the beaten track. dont walk around poor places late at night counting out your money or playin games on you iphone youl be fine.

i live in what seems to be considered an undesirable area in a big city. and i had tons of problems when i was younger, braver and stupider. but not had a single issue since my family been with me. in fact even the local winos outside the shops are very polite and friendly to my wife, haha. i also work nights and travel around alot after dark. its not as bad as they make out. although id be lying if i said id never walked "the scenic route" to avoid a group of drunks on their way home from a nightclub.

anyway enjoy it. real sausages. beer without ice in! proper size pool tables and only fools and horses

[bifftastic]

Thing that scares me most is the weather.

I had not been back for about 6 years until 2009, had 3 weeks back there visiting family.

It was July but so cold that the wife didn't speak to me for a week ( not so bad thinking about it ).

End of the day, we were glad to get out of the place. Immigration at Manchester airport ( and the s**t hole airport it is, ripped carpets and scruffy seats, never mind an obstacle course of staircases and corridors ) is an embarrasment, stupid questions and comments from officials--- "How long is she stopping for?" ( She (!) had a six months visa ), " Is the child yours sir ? ", same family name in the childs British passport. S**theads.

Look what this thread has done to me now, I'm off on a rant. The feeling was of a country in decline really, glad I got out years ago.

Just as well I have no need to go back there.

My advice would be ,,,,meet them at somewhere nice ,,, like Spain.

If it makes you feel any better, we all feel the same about Manchester

[theoldgit]

I have just come back from nine days in the UK, Eastbourne and Watford with trips into London, I certainly didn't feel scared, even staying in nine quid a night Travelodge hotels, but I suspect my trips will be less and less frequent, Thailand is now my home and I have no wish to keep going back.

I met a number of friends and former colleagues and I listened to their views of the decline of good old blighty, the poor economy, the prices and the concerns about their future job, but in all honesty things hadn't changed much, and as I say I didn't feel scared at all.

Travelling around London on the buses, tubes and trains I couldn't help feeling that everything was the same, everyone was rushing about, it was packed solid and very uncomfortable, I did think that was exactly what I was doing a few years ago, how soon we forget. I heard many horror stories about how the economy and increased prices was ruining everything, but the West End, Eastbourne and Watford were still busy, the pubs, restaurants and shops were packed and this was mid-week in January.

Clearly there were differences between Thailand and the UK, there was courtesy on the roads in the UK but when I was in a supermarket as I stood idly buy as the lady, who could barely speak English, scanned my goods allowing them to heap up whilst I stood idly by waiting for her to pack them, I forgot that I had to pack them as quickly as I could to avoid her wrath, and of course pay 5p each for the flimsy bags, the list could go on, how quickly we forget.

I remember a couple of years ago taking my girlfriend to the UK, she was really looking forward to it though she has no desire to go back anytime soon, she thought it was too cold even during a very pleasant couple of weeks in August, she would have died last month, I nearly did.

But to get onto the OP's question, there is nothing to be scared about in England, like everywhere in the world you have to screw your loaf when out and about, I think your girlfriend would enjoy it and your parents appreciate it.

[Basil B]

I think you are worrying about nothing, as pointed out you have spent time in many countries and you should know the ropes by now.

To be honest I do not know why you are worried, but really the UK is a lot safer than many other countries including Thailand.

As you say your parents are getting old and you fear they do not have long to live, do you not owe it to them the opportunity to meet your wife and children and also owe it to your wife and children the opportunity to meet them?

Maybe it is the fact that you intend to stay 2 months and fear it could be a long time if family relationships do not gel, maybe you should be thinking of the option to cut short your stay by having tickets that have a degree of flexibility if you need to change the return dates and a story with some degree of creditability that you can use as an excuse to return to Thailand without causing offense.

[steve187]

where in the uk are your family?

[patongpanda]

where in the uk are your family?

West Yorkshire, near Huddersfield.

My itinerary would be something like:

Manchester Airport, parent's house in W.Yorks, sister's house in W.Yorks, friends near Gloucester, uncle near Monmouth, friends in Swindon, perhaps a day trip to London to see the sights, and a trip to Cornwall.

BasilB is somehow reading my mind via the Internet... you are spot on.

theoldgit, what/where/how is a 9pound per night Travelodge?

Yes, I do kind of have a filial duty to go. They are paying for it too!

PP

[theoldgit]

theoldgit, what/where/how is a 9pound per night Travelodge?

They have occasional offers on their website where they have a few rooms at 9, 12, 15 and then 19 quid, you have to pounce as soon as they go on sale, easier from here as they go on sale at 06.00 UK time, in fact usually a little before.

I was just lucky that there was a sale announced just after I booked my flights and managed to book ten nights for £90, that included keeping the room for an extra night so I could have a shower and freshen up before leaving for my late night flight.

[steve187]

PP

All the places you are visiting are amongst the nicest/safest in the UK. you should not have problems, have your family arrange a car to collect from the airport,

Travelodge are a cheapish motel group, cheap rooms suitable for 2+2children are available, the earlier you book the cheaper they are.

have a great time and don't worry,the UK is safe, just be aware of what is going on around you, same as most places in the world.

evaair are doing open returns about 33,000baht 3 month open.

[patongpanda]

I seem to have done some weird psychological projection. I do have fears; about moving in with my parents, about the wife and kids hating everything, about being dependent on other people, about leaving my comfort zone for a semi-unknown, about returning to the places in my not always pleasant memories.

Sorry everyone! I'll stop reading the Daily Mail from now on.

PP

[MJP]

I seem to have done some weird psychological projection. I do have fears; about moving in with my parents, about the wife and kids hating everything, about being dependent on other people, about leaving my comfort zone for a semi-unknown, about returning to the places in my not always pleasant memories.

Sorry everyone! I'll stop reading the Daily Mail from now on.

PP

Oh good, you're going! I'll get my order in then.

4kgs of extra mature cheddar.

5 x 1kgs jars of Branston Original, large chunk, not that silly sandwich spread.

5 x large jars of Asda's Own Yeast Extract.

If you could stop by the old chaps place, I've a few bits and pieces that I could do with over here too. I'll prepare a list.

[SantiSuk]

Worry about threatening situations in the UK reminds me of the time I had to bus it from my City office back to Bromley. A bunch of big colourful youths in their hoodies got on at Lewisham and sat behind me at the back of the bus and were getting a bit worrisomely boisterous. I was feeling like a sitting duck, sat there in my city suit and polished brogues. And then came the tap on my shoulder - I froze in terror.

'Excuse me mate your wallet's dropped on the floor, here it is.'

Don't fall for the stereotype traps.

[H2oDunc]

I'm sorry but the OP needs to grow a set of balls for crying out loud. You would think the guy was going to visit family in Iraq or Afghanistan the way he is talking. Even reading the DM every day doesn't paint the picture that the OP is painting. Especially in the place he is going.

Huddersfield isn't exactly Dodge city or Harlem

You will be perfectly safe there and even getting to and from it will be sound without the need for a personal bodyguard.

[Thongkorn]

Getting back into the UK for a visit? Black Ops style, go in silent but go in heavy. Sub-200ft approach. Ghost recon around a real Tesco, the enemy wears hooded sweatshirts.

Topical American . British SBS , by steal and guile SAS Knowledge dispels fear.

[soihok]

If it makes you feel any better, we all feel the same about Manchester

Good. At least I'm not on my own................

[soihok]

where in the uk are your family?

West Yorkshire, near Huddersfield.

My itinerary would be something like:

Manchester Airport, parent's house in W.Yorks, sister's house in W.Yorks, friends near Gloucester, uncle near Monmouth, friends in Swindon, perhaps a day trip to London to see the sights, and a trip to Cornwall.

BasilB is somehow reading my mind via the Internet... you are spot on.

theoldgit, what/where/how is a 9pound per night Travelodge?

Yes, I do kind of have a filial duty to go. They are paying for it too!

PP

Oh gawd.

Manchester airport is where it starts, don't say you haven't been warned.

Actually the train trip between Sheffield and Manchester airport was great.......especially the one on the way out to the airport to catch a plane out of the place to warmer places closer to heart.

Have a good trip .

[paully]

West Yorkshire, near Huddersfield.

My itinerary would be something like:

Manchester Airport, parent's house in W.Yorks, sister's house in W.Yorks, friends near Gloucester, uncle near Monmouth, friends in Swindon, perhaps a day trip to London to see the sights, and a trip to Cornwall.

You and her should be absolutely fine going where you propose!

Of course I didn't mean to malign Bermonsey or Tower Hamlets, merely to illustrate that not all of Britain is an inner-city 'problem' area where people are terrified to go outdoors.