Lies, Excuses And Sneakiness.

[Mighty Mouse]

What are some of the best excuses you have used or heard. If you get caught out doing something that you shouldn't have done, how do you handle it?

One of the best 'getting out of trouble' methods I have heard, belongs to a mate of mine.

He is business man, married with an Australian wife and young child. His job takes him to various countries and he usually travels alone.

On one such trip he was flying home from Europe but decided to break the flight with a two day stopover in Bangkok. After dinner and a few drinks, he was approached by a bar girl and one thing led to another. She stayed with him for the two days.

Upon arriving home in Australia, he fitted back into his normal home life routine.

It was some days later that he noticed all was not well. The bar girl had given him more than he asked for.

(I should point out here that this story happened long before AIDS, in a time when condoms were seldom used.)

He was in a fix. Had he now infected his wife as well? Would his unfaithfulness be revealed?

He telephoned his family doctor for advise. The doctor advised him to stay in bed the next day, feign illness and get his wife to phone the surgery and arrange for a home visit.

He did as suggested, the wife called the doctor and the doctor arrived with his bag of tricks.

The doctor immediately injected him with a strong dose of penicillin. He then spoke with his wife telling her that her husband had picked up a highly infectious bug and that as a safeguard, both she and her son would need similar treatment.

The doctor injected an equally strong dose of penicillan into the wife and an injection of water into the kid.

The husband was then advised to rest. There was no sex until the all clear had been given.

Thanks to his smart thinking doctor, his marriage was saved. He learned a valuable lesson from the experience.

What are the best lies, excuses or methods you have heard or used to avoid trouble?

[mbkudu]

I'll say, your doctor is brilliant.

[Totster]

I'll say, your doctor is brilliant.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

totster

[Thaipwriter]

are your plums still itchy?

[LivinLOS]

Thats better than bupa..

[Nickerelastic]

What are some of the best excuses you have used or heard. If you get caught out doing something that you shouldn't have done, how do you handle it?

One of the best 'getting out of trouble' methods I have heard, belongs to a mate of mine.

He is business man, married with an Australian wife and young child. His job takes him to various countries and he usually travels alone.

On one such trip he was flying home from Europe but decided to break the flight with a two day stopover in Bangkok. After dinner and a few drinks, he was approached by a bar girl and one thing led to another. She stayed with him for the two days.

Upon arriving home in Australia, he fitted back into his normal home life routine.

It was some days later that he noticed all was not well. The bar girl had given him more than he asked for.

(I should point out here that this story happened long before AIDS, in a time when condoms were seldom used.)

He was in a fix. Had he now infected his wife as well? Would his unfaithfulness be revealed?

He telephoned his family doctor for advise. The doctor advised him to stay in bed the next day, feign illness and get his wife to phone the surgery and arrange for a home visit.

He did as suggested, the wife called the doctor and the doctor arrived with his bag of tricks.

The doctor immediately injected him with a strong dose of penicillin. He then spoke with his wife telling her that her husband had picked up a highly infectious bug and that as a safeguard, both she and her son would need similar treatment.

The doctor injected an equally strong dose of penicillan into the wife and an injection of water into the kid.

The husband was then advised to rest. There was no sex until the all clear had been given.

Thanks to his smart thinking doctor, his marriage was saved. He learned a valuable lesson from the experience.

What are the best lies, excuses or methods you have heard or used to avoid trouble?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I bet he ended up a lonely old sot

[geronimo]

What are some of the best excuses you have used or heard. If you get caught out doing something that you shouldn't have done, how do you handle it?

One of the best 'getting out of trouble' methods I have heard, belongs to a mate of mine.

He is business man, married with an Australian wife and young child. His job takes him to various countries and he usually travels alone.

On one such trip he was flying home from Europe but decided to break the flight with a two day stopover in Bangkok. After dinner and a few drinks, he was approached by a bar girl and one thing led to another. She stayed with him for the two days.

Upon arriving home in Australia, he fitted back into his normal home life routine.

It was some days later that he noticed all was not well. The bar girl had given him more than he asked for.

(I should point out here that this story happened long before AIDS, in a time when condoms were seldom used.)

He was in a fix. Had he now infected his wife as well? Would his unfaithfulness be revealed?

He telephoned his family doctor for advise. The doctor advised him to stay in bed the next day, feign illness and get his wife to phone the surgery and arrange for a home visit.

He did as suggested, the wife called the doctor and the doctor arrived with his bag of tricks.

The doctor immediately injected him with a strong dose of penicillin. He then spoke with his wife telling her that her husband had picked up a highly infectious bug and that as a safeguard, both she and her son would need similar treatment.

The doctor injected an equally strong dose of penicillan into the wife and an injection of water into the kid.

The husband was then advised to rest. There was no sex until the all clear had been given.

Thanks to his smart thinking doctor, his marriage was saved. He learned a valuable lesson from the experience.

What are the best lies, excuses or methods you have heard or used to avoid trouble?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

A friend of mine was driving home from work one evening when he stopped to help a stranded motorist, who happened to be a gorgeous female. Having repaired her car she invited him back to her house for a drink. As it turned out she lived in a palacial mansion (hubby was out of the country) and after a few more drinks one thing led to another and before he knew what had happened it was morning. He hurriedly dressed and on his way out collected a couple of snooker cue chalks and stuffed them in his trouser pocket.

He finally arrived home to find a very unhappy wife who demanded to know what happened and being an honest chap he told her the whole truth, just as it had occurred.

Shortly after his wife rummaged through his trouser pockets and found the snooker chalk and she knew he'd been out all night playing snooker!!

[cdnvic]

I'll say, your doctor is brilliant.

I'd say that this is either a phoney story or the doc is lacking in ethics giving fake treatments to two people (including sticking a needle in a child) to facilitate a lie.

cv

[pnustedt]

A friend of mine was driving home from work one evening when he stopped to help a stranded motorist, who happened to be a gorgeous female.

A friend of mine was going out with her daughter and they were planning to marry.

One evening he called round the house to pick up the daughter but mother answered the door - daughter was delayed at work. Then a call, daughter would be a couple of hours. Anyway, my mate went in to wait.

The mother was a real stunner - she sat next to him on the sofa and started stroking his leg, then massaging and generally getting heavy. She started nibbling his ear and whispered - I'll just slip into something more comfortable and went to her bedroom.

He dashed out to his car - he was just putting his hand in the glove box when the mother, daughter and father ran out of the house, exclaiming excitedly - we were just testing you, to make sure you were suitable for our daughter - you passed with flying colours!

And the moral of this story - always keep your condoms in the glove box

[mrbojangles]

One of the best 'getting out of trouble' methods I have heard, belongs to a mate of mine.

A friend of mine was driving home

A friend of mine was

Have you noticed how all of these are starting with "A Friend of mine"

P.S. - pnustedt, that's an oldie but still a goodie

[SiamOne]

A friend of mine....

honest, I didn't find it on the internet, it's true, it really, really happened

anyway, as I was saying

[Boo]

I'd say I agree with cdnvic

[Boo]

better to not do anything that would need a lie to save you ass

[britmaveric]

Doubt any Dr would do this, unethical and against the nature of a doctor.

[Nam Kao]

I used "Girl put magic on me". It worked perfect, no problems

Edited September 15, 2005 by Nam Kao

[Thaipwriter]

better to not do anything that would need a lie to save you ass

here here...no need to lie...just smile blankly and repeat ma bpen rai

[TRIPxCORE]

A friend of mine was going out with her daughter and they were planning to marry.

No offense PNU, but this line sounds right incestuous. "A friend of mine was going out with her daughter and they were planning to marry."

[pnustedt]

No offense PNU, but this line sounds right incestuous.

Yes, because by omitting Geronimo's quote (referring to "a gorgeous female") you are quoting out of context.