Thai Private Eye Lifts Curtain On Cheating Spouses

[landofthefree]

We're talking about men, NOT women. Women are designed to be monogomous, men aren't. There is a huge difference between men and women.

its the same every where......humans are not meant to be monogamous...tell me another mammal that is... some of us try but its always a test

What utter nonsense Bangers!

For every man that strays,it takes the new woman to know and agree with the affair,

before it even gets started.

Well, it's true that women are usually knowingly complicit in the offense, but occasionally the fact that the man has a partner already is successfully concealed -- just as women sometimes conceal if from men!

And to go along with a guy cheating on his girl may be unethical (and maybe just as bad as the guy who is cheating) but it's not the same as cheating on her partner: so Bangers posit (though a generalized and possibly a bit simplistic) isn't negated by your observation.

Jeez. I bore myself --I can't imagine what it's like for someone who reads me.

Steel Joe if it makes you feel any better you haven't bored me!

[skybluestu]

its the same every where......humans are not meant to be monogamous...tell me another mammal that is... some of us try but its always a test

Marmosets

Beavers

Gibbons

Bats

[bristolgeoff]

i know many cases in thailand when the other person is not in town,their partner will find someone else for a short time.this will never stop all round the world

[reason1]

its the same every where......humans are not meant to be monogamous...tell me another mammal that is... some of us try but its always a test

Marmosets

Beavers

Gibbons

Bats

Oh Dear back in the Zoo

More than a quarter of all U.S. mothers with more than one child had some of those kids with different men, according to a new study.

Among African-American women with several children, that figure rises to more than half; among Hispanics, it's more than a third, and among whites it's 22%.

Multiple partner fertility, as the phenomenon is called in academic circles, is a cause of concern among many sociologists, since studies have shown that growing up in a home in which different men cycle in and out is not good for a child's health or well being. Think of these families as having domino dads, with each one's departure putting pressure on the next.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2011/04/01/the-prevalence-of-the-domino-dad-family/#ixzz1IRczFpQd

[SteeleJoe]

Landofthefree:

My girlfriend doesnt have a Thai boyfriend or husband but then she also has a real job and I didnt meet her in a bar. I was told many years ago not to look for love in a bar, it is so obvious to outsiders but so many farrang do and end up with a cheating prostitute who is married or a girlfriend to someone else. I believe that this would be the same for prostitutes all around the world who keep their working lives and personal lives separate. There are many many Thai women that would love to have a Farrang boyfriend ( I am frequently asked by my girlfriend's cooworkers if I have any free honest farrang friends) and would not cheat on them but they have real jobs in my case nurses in a hospital.

I have no reason to doubt your girlfriend's honesty or loyalty. I know for a fact that there are Thai women worthy of trust. And believe me, few are more qualified than I to know how well the odds are stacked against those who find their partner in a bar (there are some successes but they are of course relatively rare).

But with all due respect it's ridiculous to think that someone who doesn't work in bar won't cheat because they are nurses -- or office workers, or teachers or anything else. I've known some honest bargirls (well, a few -- relatively speaking) and I've known some dishonest "good girls". And really, common sense would tell us that this would be the case, no?

Of course you are absolutely right, I think that it comes down to probabilities for example if I were to leave a fox in charge of the chickens I would think there would be more probability of the chickens being eaten than if I let a farmer look after them. I accept also that there probably are some honest bar workers but the anecdotal evidence would suggest that there are a lot that are not. I just think that if these farrangs were in their home countries they would probably be less likely to look for their partner in a red light area than they are in Thailand why it changes when they are in Thailand remains one of life's great mysteries to me.

Oh, no doubt - I totally agree about probabilities (I think pretty much said so already). Actually, I was more interested in pointing out that while bargirls should be viewed with greater skepticism, "good girls" (nurses or otherwise) can't be assumed to be trustworthy just because they aren't bargirls.

And thanks for the reassurance!

Oh, and I don't want to ramble way off topic for too long but while I do agree with you, there are reasons why a falang would be involved with a prostitute here but not at home: among them is that the nature of prostitution here (in particular that tiny percentage that caters to foreign customers) and the people who work in it, are in many ways different than in western countries...which is why so many falang travel here to patronize commercial sex venues -- it's not all down to the relative cost or the perceived beauty of the girls.

[metisdead]

A post made in all caps has been removed. It is possible to state your opinion without shouting, kindly turn off the all caps button when posting.

[reason1]

Boys and Girls will screw around and can at times be faithful - so whats new? Apart from some dumb ideas here. PIs making loot out it goes back further than my parents in my personal experience, as one was used in their divorce Nobody read Marlowe?

Who thinks a Tart in New York or a window in Amsterdam is the same as a semi-pro/pro Asian?

[tonglen]

Go to a massage club in Thailand and watch all the married men walk in with wedding rings still on.

Then...

Go to the bank and offer one of the female staff a dinner at an upmarket restaurant. Watch them pull the ring off there finger and hand you there mobile number.

Good giveaway's are...

2+ Mobile phones, Passwords on iPhones. Software on smart phones to delete all messages. Watch the phone bills stop coming and yet the phone remains connected. SMS messages after 11pm at night. Mobiles being turned off when they get home. Free holidays suddenly won and or supplied by work to Pattaya! New brand name clothing and or gifts that seem to be out of reach considering there income level. Also the soap used in short time hotels and or any hotels in Thailand are all cheap and easy to spot.

And the best one yet is the sudden arrival of condoms in there wallet and or bag.... when you know you have enough in the bedside draw! Why would you need this in your bag and or wallet at work or not at home?

Monogamy is not natural..

Some good points to your post but I must find fault with the massage/married man/ring finger implication.

I get frequent massages and have NEVER received anything in addition to the massage including a "happy ending." Never.

And no, I do not go to "soapies."

[WarpSpeed]

tell me another mammal that is... some of us try but its always a test

There are a few, Marmosets, Beavers, Gibbons and bats for starters.

Edited April 4, 2011 by WarpSpeed

[WarpSpeed]

What kinda gets me, is the guys who are fed up with cheating girlfriends and want an honest girl..and when they finally do get an honest trustworthy girl, they cant keep their own hands out of the cookie jar.

Cookies taste good!!

[mark45y]

Guys..in reality (in general), do you actually want a gf/wife who doesnt mind if you cheat? If she was blase' about it, wouldnt it make you a bit paranoid? (Be honest now! No right or wrong answer )

To be completely honest I find sex with one partner at a time boring. I also find affairs or a mia noi tiresome and fraught with problems. Having a mia noi is just like having an extra wife, not my cup of tea.

However I don't find one partner boring. I like the same face every morning and at night as a companion and friend. I like being used to her habits and knowing what to expect.

I don't want to go off with another woman. I don't want to frequent bars or engage in risky behavior.

I don't want to live with anyone else or love more than one person. One is fine. Except for sex and then the more the merrier. Yahoo ride em cowboy.

If my lady wants a muscular hunk out of playgirl, OK by me as long as he brings along a female equivalent for me. Everybody safe and happy and honest.

Did I answer your question?

[crazydrummerpauly]

Stephen Leather's book "Private Dancer" - the book answers (and exposes) some of the tricks. The expose's in the book and the Private Eye industry is rife in Thailand but mostly many of them are scammers as well. There are rummers a film is due to be shot and released this year by Christmas. Local company supposed to be Location Thailand Co Limited. Anyway, this woman seems to be a professional but not so sure about the tradition American Indian get up. That can't be too covert LOL.

For those whose first language is not English - a 'rummer' is a large drinking glass from the Northern European region ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rummer ) ;

an unsubstantiated story is a 'rumour'.

On the topic - infidelity is world-wide of course, but in Thailand and some other self-obsessed cultures, it is a virulent malignancy which is responsible for massive social dysfunction and personal anguish. When the pain gets to an unbearable level, great violence often ensues with physical injury stretching all the way to lethal 'crimes of passion'. I don't agree at all with those who have brushed this topic aside as another piece of advertising-related tabloid-type muckraking - on the contrary, I would argue that mendacious and immoral personal relations are way up towards the top end of Thailand's talents for shooting itself in the foot vis a vis 'progress' in general. One day in the distant future, people will look back in utter amazement at the scurilous behaviour towards women that millions of 'normal' Thai males take for granted as their culturally-legtimised role in the social-system. It will take so long to change to any significant degree, that I know 100% I'll not even be alive and kicking. To go back into the history of my own homeland (UK), a journey into the past of more than a century would be required to find the level of sexism. chauvinism. andro-centrism, patriarchalism, and staight-forward lascivious behaviour that passes for normal, day-to-day male behaviour in the LOS. What really puzzles me about gender-relations in Thailand, is that in the 1920s and 1930s, there was a kind of highly satirical nascent 'feminism' which attacked Thai male behaviour through the pages of newly-created women's magazines and papers - read only by the smallish group of 'middle-class' educated mostly Bangkok-based women. The stories and cartoons in these publications were aggressively critical of Thai males - the whole story is in Scot Barme's : "WOMAN, MAN, BANGKOK" - a must read for anyone seriously interested in Thai life and modern history. Read it and be amazed at how the whole Male-Female dynamic simply failed to be shifted by the output of the early feminists, and seems to have marched back-to-the-future as if the women's critique had simply never happened nearly a century ago. Father's abandoning wives for girls their daughter's age; abandoning children en masse; and (at that time) polygamy as the norm - all exposed, ridiculed, analysed and berated by early Thai women-progressives in the those decades in the early 20th century, but after that flowering which is well-documented in Barme's book, what...what happened ? Male retrenchment, big-time. Fools. I'll say it from personal experience: We reap what we sow ( Christianity ), and Karma also has its earthly dynamic. A gaudily-lit riotous present is often a down-payment on a dark and lonely future in old age. Still, never mind eh ?

[reason1]

Monogamy is a choice. Some couples do well on a spoken (or unspoken) decision to have encounters outside their relationship. If its clear that monogamy is desired in a relationship, then breaking that would be breaking your partners faith and trust (even if unbeknown to them). Its up to each individual if breaking their partners trust (and the pain that will cause their partner if they find out) is worth it, and if they feel no guilt about it. Im not trying to sound sanctimonious. Everyone has different values. Those values can shift and change. For me though, i do value monogamy..however, nothing in life is set in stone, communication is the key. Id rather have a discussion on possibilities and try come to some mutual agreement, or just break up, than have my trust and faith in a partner broken from them doing something behind my back. Maybe im naive, but i have my own personal values, and one can hope..

I find this interesting as having fallen in love and wishing to break from a kinky obsession I found it very hard to return to the straight and narrow;

I had become addicted to taking home pairs and parking them one lady face up with the other lady on top face down for the ensuing entertainment - absolute heaven - gals liked too - it took awhile but I succeeded in tearing myself away regrettably

[VictorOne]

I was told 25 years ago, never trust a smiling Asian. I said BUT they all smile.

The response was that, YES! and don't ever forget it.

To my cost I did (forget it)

[gregb]

This is not limited to men. I always said to the Frangs, beaware of your Thai GF and wives, especially when you leave them alone inThailand and go back home

i have never met a thai woman married to or dating a farang man who doesn't also have a thai husband/boyfriend. these thai woman often support their thai husbands... and the thai husband's mia noi and gigs as well.. all with the farang man's money. i'm sure there are some lovely thai women married to farang men out there... i just haven't personally met any.

FarangGirlinKorat - After many years in Thailand I agree with you one hundred percent. No offence to any reader who is in a happy and lovely relationship. We all know there are exceptions to the rule, but they are very, very few.

Well, for both of you I am happy to burst your bubbles! I am absolutely happily married to the most wonderful woman I have ever met. The most important thing in her life is myself and our two children. She is a dedicated Mother, a truly inspirational wife, my best friend, sensational lover and could get a Michelin star for her cooking. If I were to cheat on her, it would devastate her to the core, and I would never ever threaten the most precious thing I have found for 20 mins inside the pants of some bar girl. She is similar and would never ever even contemplate going with another person. I am absolutely sure there are many many other guys out there in the same position as myself who are truly happy, and a 'bit on the side' is just not on the agenda either for themselves or their wives. Some couples here did find love you know, and not everyones wife was a bar girl focused on dollar signs. Thailand has a real problem with divorce rates and 'playing around', and I have a theory as to why, but not all marriages are bad and not all Thai men/women are bad, come to that matter, not all farang are bad either.

Ditto for me. I love my Thai wife with all my heart. She feels the same about me. There are no Thai boyfriends/husbands secreted away somewhere. Married for 10 years. We have 2 beautiful children that are the joy of our lives. Neither one of us would ever consider straying. Just not on the agenda. I have all I could ever want...why would I even consider risking that for some slut who just wants to make a quick 1000 baht?

The whole concept is just completely ridiculous. Many men, Thai and Farang, are faithful. Many women, Thai and Farang, are faithful. Sadly, this forum seems to be filled with old curmudgeons and sex tourists who don't value the sanctity of marriage, have no desire for a loving family, and just don't want to go to the effort to find a Thai partner with similar values.

The stereotypes just get old. Yes, I understand there are people out there who cheat, might even be a majority of them for all I know. But the point is all my friends are happy and monogamous. This lifestyle is also quite common if you care to look for it. Here's a hint though...you won't find it at a gogo bar. Try broadening your horizons.

[7by7]

Several posts have been removed for being too over the top, as have responses to them.

[Thaddeus]

I like the same face every morning and at night as a companion and friend.

Can't beat a good mirror can you

[Macmundi]

Geez, as if women don't cheat. Humans alike, they do cheat too. Due to the ratio of women to men, it surely does look like ALL men cheat.

[dunkin2012]

Yep..........

not all Thai girls/women/boys......... can be trusted. ................

[oops]

It seems like every country in the world has a goody two shoes trying to weed out those who have sex with multiple partners yet in America women walk around half nude in someplace and do everything they can to get you to look at their breast or ass, then chastise you when you do…It is really none of Governments or Religions business what two people do in private?

Throughout history governments and religion s have criminalized sex, why...? For the government, it is about power and money, sex breakers give them the power and the America naughty boy….never the women ends up paying out hefty fines. For religion it is about control, by siding with women and saying that having more than one partner is evil the churches gain a lot of female followers which empowers the church

Sweden brags about getting rid of all the hookers by arresting…you guessed it (the men ) Now you know why so many Scandinavian men are here

America does the same thing. They arrest the men, take their cars and post their pictures in the paper

That's why so many men have gone to Mexico or countries where men can be men….dogs that we are. The bottom line is, men where made to have sex…we were given a predator instinct for a reason, and just because women, government and religion, think men shouldn't have more control over this instink ( Which I think for the most part we have shown control better than women ) people in these groups believe we should only have one women for the rest of there life they want to impose their beliefs and laws against nature

These laws make the wealthy men happy because they are not subjected, nor do they obide by them. These laws make Governments more Wealthy while giving religion more power

I believe this whole thing was thought up by a very wealthy man in the early times because he had his dick trained on someone in normal situations couldn't possibly have….so he wrote these passages into scriptures which changed history…This whole thing about sex is nothing more than BS

Government and Religion should stay out of our business or bring in the Sharia law and make women cover up that thing we men so desire

.America so much that they now lock men who have the mental capacity of a child and usually end up dating a girl or girls under age. they lock these men up and call them sexual predators.

This worked so well that they now lock up young boys in their early twenties for dating girls in their late teens and call them sexual preditors which ruins their life...forever

This worked so well that now if a girl says she was raped by you then the prosecuting attorneys ignore all evidence in your favor knowing that the women doesn't even have to show up in court( in some cases I can understand), but this crap has gone to far.For all the men that who subscribes to this kind BS, you are most likely the worst offenders.

How many times are male solicited by women in your emails.....on your skype....on your messenger all by very sexy messages and women wanting to take all your money for a peak at their !!!!#$$)#* there are a lot of stupid men who fall for it...it's billion dollar a year business. How many women jump at the chance to do wet T-shirt contest...then they don't want you to touch them How many women take off their tops on the beach and expect you not to glare at them and expect you to be a man and not touch them.. How many women claim to be a stripper so they can go to college,only then to impose laws against the morons that pay them tips and make you a preditor forgetting what they did to luwer you in.. How many exscort agencies are there where the feminest groups used to say it's the mens fault that these agencies even exist...arrest them all the men who use this agency and they will go away....now they say women should be able to do what they want with their bodies and that it is freedom of speach Yet none of this is conisdered to be preditorial, because they are women Isn't it freedom speach when a man wants to express his love for a beautiful women...?BOTTOM LINE IS WOMEN SHOULD BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR WHAT THEY DO AS WELL AS when they solicit us online or on our phones...even in magazine ad's.

Let's take Monica Lewinsky...for instance...she should of be arrested for being a preditor and trying to infaltrate the United States President oval office.....or least for handling classified dicuments....LOL

Edited April 5, 2011 by oops

[techno]

Wish l could afford one or two but l do know that some caddies cheat on their spouses with the golfers and golfers do likewise. Its a money issue

[Thakkar]

to the person who said they'd never seen any siamese cats here,i reckon,when you think about it,they're all siamese cats ???

Like the old joke about Chinese food -- in China it's just called food.

I was once stopped in HK by a tourist who wanted to know where Chinatown was. I replied that the whole city was Chinatown.

[Thakkar]

[q<snip> I find Thai women more aggressive sexually than any other society I have been exposed to. That is not to say they aren't shy and modest but along with that is an always open invitation to play.

I have found this the case in 20 year old Thai women and 60 year old Thai woman. My first Thai language instructor was in her 70's, MA from an American university and even she hit on me.

I think you are right. Yet Thai women are able to keep up the appearance of being delightfully demure, which in itself is an endearing skill.

[Thakkar]

The problem is for every cheating man there is a cheating woman (whether she herself is single or not is immaterial as a consenting partner, for whatever reason, she is duplicitous), unless of course if he is gay, and then it is two men but this made up for by cheating women who are lesbian (happens far more often than you would believe). Thus to say the only man you can trust is a dead one (I would agree generally) but exactly the same must be said of women (generally).

I don't think my wife has ever cheated on me. Does that mean someone else's wife is cheating twice, to make up?

I can't believe that someone else's wife is cheating on me to compensate for my wife - that just doesn't seem right...

SC

You're over thinking this.

Since neither you nor your wife are cheating, clearly someone else's wife is cheating with woman who is yet another man's wife. Thus all is in balance. You or your wife are not in the picture.

I on the other hand, I am—as someone who watched the foregoing proceedings (in an amateur video). Does that make me a cheater? I don't think so, though I do feel sheepish.

[Thakkar]

No, I'm talking about the psychological make-up of men and women. We ARE different, certainly not the same at all. For a start men see sex as a physical need, women see it as an emotional need. Sorry to burst your PC bubble.

We're talking about men, NOT women. Women are designed to be monogomous, men aren't. There is a huge difference between men and women.

its the same every where......humans are not meant to be monogamous...tell me another mammal that is... some of us try but its always a test

The OP was talking about both men and women to be accurate. Also, one of the major differences between men and women went out the window with the introduction of birth control pills.

A woman now has control (at least in theory) over her reproductive rights.

I also think the reason more women cheat in Thailand is because so few have cats as pets.

Hi Sausage ! i am not so sure about that, as i read somewhere that its all about instinct and the female is the controller, unknown to her, she needs to reproduce and she will look for the male whom she feels is the right one to impregnate her . After the deed is done, and her natural instincts have been satisfied. She might well just want to be rid of him but she cannot as she will need to be supported. Then the trouble starts, he wants more sex, but she is not interested, so he has to look further a field for his needs ! Who is to blame for his infidelity. Lucky for us they are not equipped like the Praying Mantis female who just bites his head off after

There are more fake anthropologists on this thread than in an Indiana Jones movie.

[Thakkar]

Monogamy is a choice. Some couples do well on a spoken (or unspoken) decision to have encounters outside their relationship. If its clear that monogamy is desired in a relationship, then breaking that would be breaking your partners faith and trust (even if unbeknown to them). Its up to each individual if breaking their partners trust (and the pain that will cause their partner if they find out) is worth it, and if they feel no guilt about it. Im not trying to sound sanctimonious. Everyone has different values. Those values can shift and change. For me though, i do value monogamy..however, nothing in life is set in stone, communication is the key. Id rather have a discussion on possibilities and try come to some mutual agreement, or just break up, than have my trust and faith in a partner broken from them doing something behind my back. Maybe im naive, but i have my own personal values, and one can hope..

Nothing wrong with a little sanctimony, as long as it's heartfelt!

Nice to hear from a female perspective. Not surprisingly, it turns out to be no different from the male perspective, which is that no one likes being cheated on. Besides, marriage vows (as in promises made) need to be more than just words.

No doubt cheaters will have wonderfully elaborate justifications, anthropological theories and 'woe is me' sob stories that sound coherent and worthy of sympathy—but only in their own heads.

[Thakkar]

Landofthefree:

My girlfriend doesnt have a Thai boyfriend or husband but then she also has a real job and I didnt meet her in a bar. I was told many years ago not to look for love in a bar, it is so obvious to outsiders but so many farrang do and end up with a cheating prostitute who is married or a girlfriend to someone else. I believe that this would be the same for prostitutes all around the world who keep their working lives and personal lives separate. There are many many Thai women that would love to have a Farrang boyfriend ( I am frequently asked by my girlfriend's cooworkers if I have any free honest farrang friends) and would not cheat on them but they have real jobs in my case nurses in a hospital.

I've been trying to convince Mrs. T to buy a nurse's uniform but she refuses, saying that would be slutty. Thanks for this post. Now I can go tell her I have proof positive that nurses aren't slutty.

[sirchai]

Why does Admin. continually run these ridiculous stories? When do I ever see anything positive come to my e-mail account. Nothing but crap.

But it's not just Thai men who are tempted to stray.

Here's a positive one.....:jap:

[Bagwan]

I also think the reason more women cheat in Thailand is because so few have cats as pets.

Having two pussies keeps you on the straight and narrow?

[Bagwan]

No, I'm talking about the psychological make-up of men and women. We ARE different, certainly not the same at all. For a start men see sex as a physical need, women see it as an emotional need. Sorry to burst your PC bubble.

A woman is only a part of a man's life. A man is ALL of a woman's. Same same,but different.