What Servants To Have

[harrry]

after all, living in Thailand wouldn't it be appropriate to convert to Buddhism, believe in ghosts and demons, eat Som Tam and fermented fish garnished with a helping of roaches and wooly spiders for dinner, getting drunk on Lao Khao and Chang, divorce the ol' farang wife, marry a Thai lady less than half her age and perhaps half her weight, add a mia noi (or two) who could be your granddaughters...

next!

Lots of that sound like fun

[JurgenG]

Although the spirit of the thread has turned to smug tongue in cheek attempts at humour, the coment that "naturally there will be always some unfortunate ones who can't afford staff and who will bitch enviously and repeatedly about it with the saliva running down their chins and no butler to wipe it off" is annoying. On the contrary, those that have the experience of live in help know the burdens of maintaining such staff and are more likely to avoid the situation.

Don't really agree with you. It's people not being used of having live-in "helpers" that may find difficult to handle the situation. It's just a problem of setting boundaries. Which rooms are available for the helpers to enter, when and under which circumstances. What is the proper attitude to maintain with someone who quickly becomes a family member but is still an employee.

Until I came to Asia I never had the experience of live-in staff. My first experience was with my dad and his chinese gf in Singapore, not a great example, or a great example of what not to do. It actually helped to create a great bond between the maid and I as we both hated the b_tch so much. It was only later with my gf that I learned the right balance, they are not family, they are not your friends, but if you find the right balance you can develop a good and lasting relation.

[Naam]

discussing pros and cons of employing domestic staff with people who do not possess years of experience is as useless as discussing juicy steaks, crisp pork roasts or pata negra ham with fundamentalist vegans. that too applies partly when people with relevant experience exchange views because the individual perspectives and situations might be completely different.

but then there are also people who claim that they have experience but present utter derogatory rubbish such as

"Those that have live in staff are either families with young children or are the elderly requiring assistance with tasks such as their daily bath or bowel movement. Some may need help with the changing of the adult incontinence diaper."

which just proves that they <snip>

[Boo]

i should like a daily, a women who comes & cleans up, irons, does the laundry & cooks a family meal at the end of the day. 4-5 hrs a day should cover it. the idea of a live in isn't for me, I like my privacy & the "upstairs/downstairs" dynamic of a large household staff would annoy me. But a general woman that does, would be a great help & free up alot of time for me to enjoy my family more without worrying that the school uniforms need ironing or cleaning the bath.

Good on you if you can cope without one but for this girl, who works full time & has a small child, a daily would be a blessing. Not a option at the moment but I am outsourcing the ironing & will be looking into a cleaner to come in a couple of times a week, probably cost me in UK the same as a daily would in thailand too but for the pleasure of coming home to a house already done is well worth it. Once we move back in a few years my longed for daily will be the first thing on my list of "purchases"

Why shouldn't naam have staff if he can afford it. he is creating jobs & if his staff weren't happy they would surely move on when the opportunity presented itself.

[Naam]

the idea of a live in isn't for me, I like my privacy & the "upstairs/downstairs" dynamic of a large household staff would annoy me.

there are live-ins and there are live-ins Boo. it's all a matter of logistics and organisation and of course there is no privacy if the house/flat is too small. in other words, the fundamentals must exist. ideal is the solution which i saw in other countries and copied it, i.e. a separate servants quarter and dedicated entrances to the home.

a cook preparing food in the kitchen for you and your family does not invade the privacy of your bedroom, study or living room or any part of the house. the same applies to a gardener or driver who only enter the house when they perform some handyman services but this "invasion of privacy" is preferable to some unknown people who run barefeet through your house cleaning aircon filters or doing some small repairs.

and in case the cook invades any privacy when serving breakfast, lunch or dinner in the dining room it is very easy to avoid this by laying the table and carrying whatever food was prepared from the kitchen yourself.

[Naam]

Personally, I would strongly recommend against a romantic dalliance with any of the domestic staff, since they will generally be closer to the lady of the house than one might expect.

that goes without saying.

Edited April 23, 2011 by Naam

[Naam]

...those that have the experience of live in help know the burdens of maintaining such staff and are more likely to avoid the situation.

strongly reminds me of the parabel "The Fox and the sour Grapes"

[Naam]

It is incredibly bad form to refer to domestic help as "servants". This is an expression used primarily by the nouveau riche. Proper folk always refer to the staff as the help.

quite correct because the cook does not serve the food but he helps the food prepare itself and then helps it to jump on the dining table. the gardener does not mow the lawn but he helps the grass to stay short and the hedge to stay trimmed. the driver does not actually drive a car but he helps the backseat passenger(s) to navigate the traffic.

by the way, the context how you used the expression "nouveau riche" demands the plural which is "nouveaux riches" :jap:

[Forethat]

there is nothing to brag about how many languages the domestic staff masters.

And still there are unfortunate souls who can't seem to grasp this basic concept.

I guess it's a matter of class, really.

[Naam]

Fortunately, we also seemed to have the ugliest of women workers. My mother was quite wise in that respect. A healthy marital relationship does not allow for beautiful help.

not exactly a compliment for your father. but your mother must have acted "wisely" based on her experience.

[Naam]

The missus can't sunbathe topless by the pool, if BooBoo the gardener is going to be about leering.

correct! but the Lady and the Master of the house can swim 'nekkid' in the pool, stay 'nekkid' in the pool area and perhaps even 'frolic' if they have an indoor pool like the one i planned, built and use every day.

[Naam]

Those that have live in staff are either families with young children or are the elderly requiring assistance with tasks such as their daily bath or bowel movement. Some may need help with the changing of the adult incontinence diaper.

that might indeed apply to those who (nomen est omen) use "geriatric Kid" as a handle

[geriatrickid]

The missus can't sunbathe topless by the pool, if BooBoo the gardener is going to be about leering.

correct! but the Lady and the Master of the house can swim 'nekkid' in the pool, stay 'nekkid' in the pool area and perhaps even 'frolic' if they have an indoor pool like the one i planned, built and use every day.

Well then, having a full complement of house staff will come in handy when the indoor pool leaks or floods the rest of the house. The humidity that will give rise to mold problems might be managed by distributing brushes to the staff and instructing them to scrub the mold off. As well, the staff can check the ventilation system to ensure that the humidity is managed. As well, once you have ensured that your staff can read and follow chemcial application instructions properly, you might be able to trust them with the oversight of the water quality. it would be a bit of a pickle if Somchai dropped in too much chlorine. However, a man of your distinction most likely opts for a natural salt water pool.

[geriatrickid]

there is nothing to brag about how many languages the domestic staff masters.

And still there are unfortunate souls who can't seem to grasp this basic concept.

I guess it's a matter of class, really.

Well, I never was too keen on learning the dialects of some of my friends household staff. I never saw much use for Ukranian, Polish or Central American spanish dialects when I was a kid. I do note that a common complaint of some parents is that their children pick up Philippino accents from their nannies.

[Forethat]

I do note that a common complaint of some parents is that their children pick up Philippino accents from their nannies.

Tell me about it - I suspect there's at least one example here on TV where the bilingu...trilingu....multilingual gardener has influenced the employer to pick up a Gibberish accent. Edited April 23, 2011 by Forethat

[cdnmatt]

I have the boyfriend's mama and little sister living here, and that seems to be all I need. I can't remember the last time I did laundry, cleaned a single dish, cooked food, or did anything. They'll even wait for me to go into town, then rush up, and clean my office for me.

And best part is, it's free. Call it rent payment, I guess. I never asked them to do any of this, but I'm definitely not going to tell them not to, lol

[Naam]

Well then, having a full complement of house staff will come in handy when the indoor pool leaks or floods the rest of the house. The humidity that will give rise to mold problems might be managed by distributing brushes to the staff and instructing them to scrub the mold off. As well, the staff can check the ventilation system to ensure that the humidity is managed. As well, once you have ensured that your staff can read and follow chemcial application instructions properly, you might be able to trust them with the oversight of the water quality. it would be a bit of a pickle if Somchai dropped in too much chlorine. However, a man of your distinction most likely opts for a natural salt water pool.

only technical idiots would build a pool who's leakage could flood the house. only technical idiots will build a pool that adds humidity to the house. only <snip> pool owners would leave the water quality unchecked and Somchai in charge of any required chemicals. a "man of distinction" uses "täcknolotchy" to keep the water of his pool at drinking water quality such as the little gadget in the picture below which can be bought and installed for the peanuts amount of 150,000 Baht.

pool apocalypse case closed...

next case perhaps a spicy story with details of siblings having sex with domestic employees? or a detailed description how ugly the selected female employees were in order to maintain a healthy marriage?

[rubin]

a humble servant

[zzaa09]

I have the boyfriend's mama and little sister living here, and that seems to be all I need. I can't remember the last time I did laundry, cleaned a single dish, cooked food, or did anything. They'll even wait for me to go into town, then rush up, and clean my office for me.

And best part is, it's free. Call it rent payment, I guess. I never asked them to do any of this, but I'm definitely not going to tell them not to, lol

Extended family pleasures!!!!!:jap:

[Forethat]

Naam + thereäs no limit

only <snip> pool owners would leave the water quality unchecked and Somchai in charge of any required chemicals. a "man of distinction" uses "täcknolotchy" to keep the water of his pool at drinking water quality such as the little gadget in the picture below which can be bought and installed for the peanuts amount of 150,000 Baht.

wooow!!!!

Naam - you are the coolest!!

Edited April 23, 2011 by Forethat

[Naam]

I have the boyfriend's mama and little sister living here, and that seems to be all I need. I can't remember the last time I did laundry, cleaned a single dish, cooked food, or did anything. They'll even wait for me to go into town, then rush up, and clean my office for me.

And best part is, it's free. Call it rent payment, I guess. I never asked them to do any of this, but I'm definitely not going to tell them not to, lol

Extended family pleasures!!!!!:jap:

and not the usual boring ménage à trois but ménage à quatre!