The Art Of Gift

[JurgenG]

This morning I arrived to the car park next to the office. Typical Thai car park, an empty lot with a booth at the entrance. Full ! Major inconvenience, the next closest one is two blocks away and the daily rate is double. Fortunately I know quite well the parking attendant there. At the office we have plenty of goodies, they are nice people, so I always bring them caps, umbrellas, pens , t-shirts ... it fosters good relationship. So the guy recognizes me, smiles, waives at me, moves a barrier in front of the "VIP" section, I park my car and I'm on my way . Then first thing I did when I arrived this morning in the office was pack a bag of all the stuff I found in our marketing department to thank my "friends" tonight when I'll go back to take my car.

That something I really learned in Asia, the Art of Gift. Everywhere we go, we have something for everybody. At the beginning, I didn't get it. Before going back to Thailand my gf was always packing all sort of things, gifts for the relative of course, but also packs of crackers, k chain, hand lotion (!?) .... What does she need all that for ? Then in Thailand we put everything in the back of the car and everywhere we stop, we have something for everybody : t shirt for the son of the maid, Chinese delicacy for Kamnan, hand lotion for the wife of the neighbor, everybody gets something.

Then when we need something, they're happy to oblige ... My last remark is bit cynical, produce of a western mind, but that's the way it is. The Art of Gift, still better than the Art of War.

Edited April 22, 2011 by JurgenG

[Soutpeel]

<deleted> are you talking about. ?...

[JurgenG]

^ Like Oscar Wilde I would answer you that I am so clever that I sometimes don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

[Soutpeel]

^ Like Oscar Wilde I would answer you that I am so clever that I sometimes don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

Good answer...

[lovelomsak]

I always have enjoyed giving gifts and I find here people appreciate them and give back in kind. Example I started bringing fruit and things to the people who wash my car and motorcycle. Yesterday I went to get my motorcycle washed . There was a hugh line up of pickups waiting to be washed. I was ushered to the side an attendant took my bike and drove it directly to get washed. At my bank I come in the security quard or another worker meets me helps me with my paperwork and takes it to be done no line up nothing. Gifts here creat a bond.

[Soutpeel]

Gifts here creat a bond.

Its called "bribery".....

[lovetotravel]

Great approach. We usually give workers at our home a drink or a snack. When we need help, they are right there. It's not a bribe...just something nice being done for them and it goes a long way.

[Soutpeel]

Great approach. We usually give workers at our home a drink or a snack. When we need help, they are right there. It's not a bribe...just something nice being done for them and it goes a long way.

Ah.... but you are expecting something in return, therefore is a "bribe" not a gift.....

[WAYNEandAEI]

Great approach. We usually give workers at our home a drink or a snack. When we need help, they are right there. It's not a bribe...just something nice being done for them and it goes a long way.

Ah.... but you are expecting something in return, therefore is a "bribe" not a gift.....

There is a saying... "If you scratch my back I will scratch yours" and... "A good turn deserves another"

[IanForbes]

I know EXACTLY what Jurgen is talking about. I do it all the time and expect nothing in return. But, something always seems to return in my favour, and not in the way I would first expect. More often than not I will help out with a bit of cash, or a toy for someone's child. I get pleasure in giving and somewhere down the road I get kindness in return.

[yermanee]

I know EXACTLY what Jurgen is talking about. I do it all the time and expect nothing in return. But, something always seems to return in my favour, and not in the way I would first expect. More often than not I will help out with a bit of cash, or a toy for someone's child. I get pleasure in giving and somewhere down the road I get kindness in return.

My sentiments exactly.

But I guess " pearls to the swine" here on ThaiVisa.

Yermanee

[jazzbo]

From post #10: I know EXACTLY what Jurgen is talking about. I do it all the time and expect nothing in return.

From the screenplay of Alfred Hitchcock's To Catch A Thief .. Jewel thief John Robie -Cary Grant / Francie's Mother(Francie - Grace Kelly)

Mom - Would you mind if I had you investigated?

JR -- Not at all. With what object?

Mom - If I were Francie's age, you'd sound too good to be true.

JR -- Thank you

Edited April 22, 2011 by jazzbo

[Pacificperson]

My wife does it also. She loves to shop and the proper choice in buying these little gifts somehow adds to her sense of self worth. Her friends like that she is thinking of them. Sometimes I feel like a pack mule and sometimes I get hit with excess weight charges.

[473geo]

On the family side, to bring a gift is a simple way of showing you still think of people when you are not around........

In the case of the security guard/auto cleaner and gifts.............you are showing that their efforts are appreciated...............

why not?

Edit: don't forget, if you tip well, you are not only paying for the service you just had.........

Edited April 22, 2011 by 473geo

[jazzbo]

Such a load of treacle today ... time for the Pepto-Bismol.

[IanForbes]

It's not a bribe and it's the thought that counts. My son often brings a case of beer into the guys at the lumber shop and gives it to the staff on Friday nights near quitting time.. When they have a sale, or Matt needs a special item then they will let him know and give him a good deal.

A young lady friend of mine spent a few days knitting me a sweater because I was going back to cold Canada. There was no ulterior reason for her doing it but she did it anyway. It was the thought that counted to me more than the sweater. I often take photos of Thai neighbour's children and I give them prints of the photos later. The average Thai seldom spends the money on photos, but they appreciate them when I give them pictures. Random acts of kindness go a long way in smoothing out the wrinkles in life. And, what goes round usually comes round.

[WAYNEandAEI]

Good Karma to all = the gift for giving...

[mario299]

The average Thai seldom spends the money on photos, but they appreciate them when I give them pictures. Random acts of kindness go a long way in smoothing out the wrinkles in life. And, what goes round usually comes round.

A good point Ian, regarding pictures. Many of our village friends don't take or have pictures. I have a lot of tools around, miter saw...staple guns, etc, plus bits and scraps of wood casings and trims, so I'm prone to taking digital pictures, printing them out on the computer then putting them into a frame and giving them away. Cannot believe how much this is appreciated, and it does come back around in some of the nicest ways. Keeps me busy and having fun as well.

mario299

[Hssl]

nice to be nice......................................................

[JurgenG]

Good Karma to all = the gift for giving...

If you want a better life, you need to be a better person.

Earl.

I think I'm really watching too much TV

Edited April 22, 2011 by JurgenG

[jazzbo]

You certainly are a swell bunch of fellows if you do say so yourselves ... kinda like the ' Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smalley':

"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."

[473geo]

Such a load of treacle today ... time for the Pepto-Bismol.

I understand a good relief for acidity and diarrhea.........................better take another one......

[JurgenG]

In your life expect some trouble

But when you worry

You make it double

Don't worry, be happy......

Don't worry don't do it, be happy

Put a smile on your face

Don't bring everybody down like this

Don't worry, it will soon past

Whatever it is

Don't worry, be happy

. Bobby McFerrin

Edited April 22, 2011 by JurgenG

[jazzbo]

Kaopectate is for diarrhea ... but on doctor's orders i should minimally dwell in maudlin sentimentality so I guess I'll take a rest from here.

[weary]

Wow, somebody dares break the trend of miserable, misogynistic, anti-Thai culture, anti-farang, anti-feminist, anti-USA, anti-backpacker, anti-poor people, anti-Chinese Thai, anti-Jew, anti-religion, anti-rich people trend. Amazing.

Hats off to Jurgen.

[Loz]

Is good to give. I've never found it necessary to give a gift greater than 7". Its a paradox: the gift that keeps on giving, but at the same time, you can't keep it.

[zzaa09]

^ Like Oscar Wilde I would answer you that I am so clever that I sometimes don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

Unfortunately, this stands too true amongst the disconnected circle. Good on ya anyway, Jurgen!!:jap:

[JurgenG]

Wow, somebody dares break the trend of miserable, misogynistic, anti-Thai culture, anti-farang, anti-feminist, anti-USA, anti-backpacker, anti-poor people, anti-Chinese Thai, anti-Jew, anti-religion, anti-rich people trend. Amazing.

Mostly it's a problem of expectation. A number of posters believe, because they are westerners, their place is a the top of the Thai society. They are wrong. But unfortunately for some it's the end of the road, they're running out of option. So they get bitter.

Of course, in Thailand, like everywhere else, you will run into problems from time to time. But as the song goes, if you confront them with a negative mindset, you just make them double.

I prefer to focus on solution because nowhere it's written I should live a miserable life and just want to share with others little things that can make our life in Thailand more enjoyable. That's it.

[noise]

Great approach. We usually give workers at our home a drink or a snack. When we need help, they are right there. It's not a bribe...just something nice being done for them and it goes a long way.

Ah.... but you are expecting something in return, therefore is a "bribe" not a gift.....

I would say Lovetotravel is really just acknowledging these are (1) real people and (2) that they are employees of sorts. Most of us know that it is not the pay that makes us happy in a job. Once we earn enough to survive, it is the sense of self satisfaction of doing a good job and of being appreciated for doing that job. So Lovetotravel understands that.

We tip the trashmen/women on New Years for those reasons (plus knowing they work for very little). All we get out of it are greetings and smiles when they see us.

[lovetotravel]

Great approach. We usually give workers at our home a drink or a snack. When we need help, they are right there. It's not a bribe...just something nice being done for them and it goes a long way.

Ah.... but you are expecting something in return, therefore is a "bribe" not a gift.....

I would say Lovetotravel is really just acknowledging these are (1) real people and (2) that they are employees of sorts. Most of us know that it is not the pay that makes us happy in a job. Once we earn enough to survive, it is the sense of self satisfaction of doing a good job and of being appreciated for doing that job. So Lovetotravel understands that.

We tip the trashmen/women on New Years for those reasons (plus knowing they work for very little). All we get out of it are greetings and smiles when they see us.

Exactly. We give our trash guys a bottle of M50 every now and then...they love it! Give us a wai, and a fantastic attempt at "thanks you" in English. Perfect. Makes life just that much better, and for sure they appreciate it.