She Took Everything..

[Penkoprod]

Thanks for the advice guys - knew I was gonna get a bit of "you should have known better" too so no worries! Part and parcel of posting on an internet forum. None the less some good feedback.

The person in mention is my dad and not me. In case anyone wants to know the plan of action it is as follows: Money has been sent to see him through til August and then I will go out to Thailand and meet him in BKK - I like the idea from ChristopherWilliamsBKK "Stuff as many things as you can in your pockets (preferably gold), Say you have to go buy a paper. Never turn round - never look back."

We'll stay in Bangkok for a couple of weeks and set him up for going back to the UK to stay with some family there. Who knows potentially move back to Thailand in a few years a little wiser!

I do have some other questions though relating to this post for my Dad:

When he returns to the UK he will have no money, can he sign on straight away? Technically he is going back to no fixed abode either and will probably have to stay with his mother to begin with. Here's the problem though, he hasn't lived in the UK for over 30 years and has been working abroad since he got married (first time) so I don't know what that makes him eligible for? He is a British citizen with a British passport. Does anyone know how I would go about inquiring about this?

He also suffers from epilepsy and is in extremely poor health generally (smokes and drinks a lot and very malnutrutioned), all his teeth are pretty much gone too.. Can he just walk into a hospital and basically say "help me" and they will?

Once again any help would be appreciated - I myself have never really lived in the UK so I am not aware of the above..

Thanks again.

Regarding the health issues The hospitals would probably fettle him to the degree where he isnt in danger of popping his clogs. And then he goes to the back of a long queue for any treatment. This is true for anyone......returning expat or someone who has never been out of the country. Whether they apply the letter of the law in his case is another thing, though. What that "letter of the law" is, is a matter of conjecture. You (he) will probably know more as he gets his feet back under the table.

As for any State Benefits he might get, you should know, by reading the UK press how much they are cutting back on this, so you might need to get someone to tell his story to some agency that will give you some advice that can be passed onto him. CAB, Age Concern, Saga or some other organisation. One thing i DO know is he will need an address in UK ASAP to get ANYTHING.

Like all (some) other posters have said, my sympathies go out to him, and thank you for sharing the tale with us. If it helps only one person to not make the same mistakes then all is not lost

Penkoprod

[MSingh]

Its going to have to be a walk away affair I think. Potentially a divorce if its going to be as easy as just signing some papers if they are both in Bangkok.

I was wondering do the British embassy offer any help to British expats who have been taken for everything they have got and physically cannot afford to renew their visa and/or leave the country? Do they offer repatriation in such circumstances?

I would say walk away..

It doesn't sound as if the Female in charge is a very mice Person & make no mistake, she ccould start to get really annoyed with it all & if she starts to lose face somehow, or even just decides she's losing face for no particular reason, it could turn really nasty for the Male in all this..

From 5k to top soemone here you know, i'd imagine they'd all get caught afterwards but that doesn't do any favours for the Male who would prbably be 6ft under by that stage..

It happens too, make no mistake about that.

[StreetCowboy]

Its going to have to be a walk away affair I think. Potentially a divorce if its going to be as easy as just signing some papers if they are both in Bangkok.

I was wondering do the British embassy offer any help to British expats who have been taken for everything they have got and physically cannot afford to renew their visa and/or leave the country? Do they offer repatriation in such circumstances?

I would say walk away..

It doesn't sound as if the Female in charge is a very mice Person & make no mistake, she ccould start to get really annoyed with it all & if she starts to lose face somehow, or even just decides she's losing face for no particular reason, it could turn really nasty for the Male in all this..

From 5k to top soemone here you know, i'd imagine they'd all get caught afterwards but that doesn't do any favours for the Male who would prbably be 6ft under by that stage..

It happens too, make no mistake about that.

I suppose melodramatic is better than squalid or disillusioned.

Better to think about starting again...I'm often reminded, at times like these, of the King Kurt words - Hup da diddle a hoo wa hey wa hoo! wa hoo!

SC

[MSingh]

Its going to have to be a walk away affair I think. Potentially a divorce if its going to be as easy as just signing some papers if they are both in Bangkok.

I was wondering do the British embassy offer any help to British expats who have been taken for everything they have got and physically cannot afford to renew their visa and/or leave the country? Do they offer repatriation in such circumstances?

I would say walk away..

It doesn't sound as if the Female in charge is a very nice Person & make no mistake, she ccould start to get really annoyed with it all & if she starts to lose face somehow, or even just decides she's losing face for no particular reason, it could turn really nasty for the Male in all this..

From 5k to top soemone here you know, i'd imagine they'd all get caught afterwards but that doesn't do any favours for the Male who would prbably be 6ft under by that stage..

It happens too, make no mistake about that.

I suppose melodramatic is better than squalid or disillusioned.

Better to think about starting again...I'm often reminded, at times like these, of the King Kurt words - Hup da diddle a hoo wa hey wa hoo! wa hoo!

SC

Or alternatively, living your life with your head up your a*se & thinking that the subject was actually a Marraige based on love for each other as opposed to seeing things for what they are/could be..

Edited April 25, 2011 by MSingh

[StreetCowboy]

Its going to have to be a walk away affair I think. Potentially a divorce if its going to be as easy as just signing some papers if they are both in Bangkok.

I was wondering do the British embassy offer any help to British expats who have been taken for everything they have got and physically cannot afford to renew their visa and/or leave the country? Do they offer repatriation in such circumstances?

I would say walk away..

It doesn't sound as if the Female in charge is a very nice Person & make no mistake, she ccould start to get really annoyed with it all & if she starts to lose face somehow, or even just decides she's losing face for no particular reason, it could turn really nasty for the Male in all this..

From 5k to top soemone here you know, i'd imagine they'd all get caught afterwards but that doesn't do any favours for the Male who would prbably be 6ft under by that stage..

It happens too, make no mistake about that.

I suppose melodramatic is better than squalid or disillusioned.

Better to think about starting again...I'm often reminded, at times like these, of the King Kurt words - Hup da diddle a hoo wa hey wa hoo! wa hoo!

SC

Or alternatively, living your life with your head up your a*se & thinking that the subject was actually a Marraige based on love for each other as opposed to seeing things for what they are/could be..

I think we see things from our own perspective. I look on the bright side. If you choose to look from your head up your arse, I can't imagine the view is that great...

If the marriage was based on the gentlemans love for the lady concerned, then I would say it was better value than a marriage based on harsh negotiated economical prudence.

But then, I am a sweet romantic who enjoys being in love, not a streeetwise market trader who treats my own emotions as a marketable commodity.

SC

[nocturn]

she didn't take everything. She was given it.

[NaChiangMai]

this story made me frown i hope it won't happen to a friend of mine who is married to a thai lady.

[seriouseats]

this story made me frown i hope it won't happen to a friend of mine who is married to a thai lady.

OP just said his dad was a heavy drinker, smoker with no teeths... even the most lovable woman in the world can't stay with a pure chav forever.

[IanForbes]

this story made me frown i hope it won't happen to a friend of mine who is married to a thai lady.

OP just said his dad was a heavy drinker, smoker with no teeths... even the most lovable woman in the world can't stay with a pure chav forever.

True. A man has to bring more to the marriage than a partially filled wallet. Even the best of marriages between couples of similar background fail at more than a 50% rate. It takes two to tango.

[ratcatcher]

she didn't take everything. She was given it.

In a Nutshell!

A fool and his money are soon parted.

And the other maxim: How to make a small fortune in Thailand?

Start off with a large fortune.

If she looks too good to be true, she probably is.

[theoldgit]

What I will say is that the guy involved is very lucky to have his son standing by him, full credit to the son.

Lets just hope Dad can turn his life around and and put this sorry episode behind him.

[Nawtier]

OP just said his dad was a heavy drinker, smoker with no teeths... even the most lovable woman in the world can't stay with a pure chav forever.

If she looks too good to be true, she probably is.

Got my doubts here somehow

Edited April 26, 2011 by Nawtier

[Schooner]

"she didn't take everything. She was given it." Well said!

We are ignoring the fact that whatever this guy came here looking for he did find. There is a reason that we take these risks and expose ourselves to this sort of outcome. For many of us the bliss of experencing these intense feelings is what draws us in. It is what I love about the place. During my first year I fell in love about three times a week and I loved the emotional rollercoaster ride. I was also well aware of the risks.

Most of my life I have enjoyed risktaking, it is a rush knowing that I can go and do what most cannot. I am well aware that it can go tits up at any time and accept the responsibility if I loose. I want to believe that I am fortified against failure because of my experence and learning about the risks involved, but I never know for sure and that is what makes it so compelling.

Most guys I know would never think of experimenting with opiates at this stage of life, but they jump right in to get the exact same "drug" induced high from women. They underestimate the power of it all. In Korat there is a statue in the center of town of a woman who gathered a bunch of her girlfriends togather and went to the camp of the Burma forces with booze and charm and did what women do so well. Burma was defeated in that battle because of it.

I hope that at the end of my life I will reflect and decide that it was worth it. I hope that this gentleman, after the wound has healed can crack a grin for the lady who gave him bliss.

[StreetCowboy]

this story made me frown i hope it won't happen to a friend of mine who is married to a thai lady.

OP just said his dad was a heavy drinker, smoker with no teeths... even the most lovable woman in the world can't stay with a pure chav forever.

True. A man has to bring more to the marriage than a partially filled wallet. Even the best of marriages between couples of similar background fail at more than a 50% rate. It takes two to tango.

and eight to reel. Personally, I prefer to form up into a threesome for the dashing white sergeant

SC

I know its not strictly ballroom, but she can scarcely waltz off on her own...

[supaprik]

try this...tell the "wife" you want to do some extra improvements around the place, i.e. new euro kitchen, pool etc etc etc, convince her you have some extra money tucked away in euroland but you can't get it for a few months, then go to a bank and borrow on the existing house/land, a friend talls me the bank will do a low doc loan at slightly higher interest rate than normal but will lend about 70% of value.

This requires her to be in full agreeance and of course the land must be Chanote title and owned by your wife. Borrow the money and have deposited into your joint account then DRAIN the sucker and leave, worry about the divorce later.... this actually works and in some cases you can get back more than your "investment" that is if you didn't actually buy the land....Good luck

[thaimate]

I dont believe in God ,but whoever is up there looking out for me ,thank you for sending me such a good wife.

PS. (the others wernt bad either )

[StreetCowboy]

try this...tell the "wife" you want to do some extra improvements around the place, i.e. new euro kitchen, pool etc etc etc, convince her you have some extra money tucked away in euroland but you can't get it for a few months, then go to a bank and borrow on the existing house/land, a friend talls me the bank will do a low doc loan at slightly higher interest rate than normal but will lend about 70% of value.

This requires her to be in full agreeance and of course the land must be Chanote title and owned by your wife. Borrow the money and have deposited into your joint account then DRAIN the sucker and leave, worry about the divorce later.... this actually works and in some cases you can get back more than your "investment" that is if you didn't actually buy the land....Good luck

What an unpleasant suggestion; any woman would be ashamed to have married someone who would do such a thing.

I am surprised that so many people on this forum value their money higher than their wives. I suppose that is why they attract the gold diggers.

SC

[Nawtier]

What an unpleasant suggestion; any woman would be ashamed to have married someone who would do such a thing.

Reap what ye sow.....why would you care what she thought of you if she was ripping you off in the first instance ??

or are you a believer of 'just suck it and move on' principles ??

[StreetCowboy]

"she didn't take everything. She was given it." Well said!

We are ignoring the fact that whatever this guy came here looking for he did find. There is a reason that we take these risks and expose ourselves to this sort of outcome. For many of us the bliss of experencing these intense feelings is what draws us in. It is what I love about the place. During my first year I fell in love about three times a week and I loved the emotional rollercoaster ride. I was also well aware of the risks.

Most of my life I have enjoyed risktaking, it is a rush knowing that I can go and do what most cannot. I am well aware that it can go tits up at any time and accept the responsibility if I loose. I want to believe that I am fortified against failure because of my experence and learning about the risks involved, but I never know for sure and that is what makes it so compelling.

Most guys I know would never think of experimenting with opiates at this stage of life, but they jump right in to get the exact same "drug" induced high from women. They underestimate the power of it all. In Korat there is a statue in the center of town of a woman who gathered a bunch of her girlfriends togather and went to the camp of the Burma forces with booze and charm and did what women do so well. Burma was defeated in that battle because of it.

I hope that at the end of my life I will reflect and decide that it was worth it. I hope that this gentleman, after the wound has healed can crack a grin for the lady who gave him bliss.

For the sake of being argumentative, opium is an old man's drug. In Chinese culture, it is an alternative to a pension, and allows people who are beyond useful work to have a happy and short retirement.

Unfortunately, it is stigmatised and proscribed by law, so pensioners have to come here and fill their lives with meaningless and unproductive sexual excesses; in itself, not necessarily a bad thing, but sadly less concisely fatal than opium, and in appearance more offensive in the sight of our fellow bigots and pruritans than the prematurely wizened and sunken cheeks of the opium addict.

SC

[andrewbkk]

I am surprised that so many people on this forum value their money higher than their wives. I suppose that is why they attract the gold diggers.

Sounds to me like you're lucky enough to be married to a woman you love and trust. Bravo.

I too was equally lucky. My son's mother and I had ten and a half years together. It was great. She was the only woman in Thailand who would never cheat. Seriously. She would never cheat. Never.

She's a restaurant manager at one of the tourist hotels here in BKK. She manages 32 staff. She earns good money.

One day last Summer a 63 year-old Belgian guy went into the hotel. He was the manager (or coach) of what last year was the top football team here in Thailand.

He smiled at her; and she smiled at him. And you can work out for yourself what happened next.

I lost a lot, but I didn't lose it all.

And I can assure you that henceforth I will value my money much more highly than a woman.

[StreetCowboy]

I am surprised that so many people on this forum value their money higher than their wives. I suppose that is why they attract the gold diggers.

Sounds to me like you're lucky enough to be married to a woman you love and trust. Bravo.

I too was equally lucky. My son's mother and I had ten and a half years together. It was great. She was the only woman in Thailand who would never cheat. Seriously. She would never cheat. Never.

She's a restaurant manager at one of the tourist hotels here in BKK. She manages 32 staff. She earns good money.

One day last Summer a 63 year-old Belgian guy went into the hotel. He was the manager (or coach) of what last year was the top football team here in Thailand.

He smiled at her; and she smiled at him. And you can work out for yourself what happened next.

I lost a lot, but I didn't lose it all.

And I can assure you that henceforth I will value my money much more highly than a woman.

You'll enjoy the company of the money less than the company of a good woman. Or a bad woman.

If I were you, I would seek to exchange the money for something of more intrinsic value, even if it is only transient.

I am surprised at the number of people who are upset about losing houses rather than losing wives. A house with no wife in it is of no real value in any case; it is just a ball and chain around one's ankle, though I suppose it is nice to have assets to fall back upon (sounds a bit three stooges, falling back on one's assets...)

Anyway, onwards and upwards; its all part of growing up and being british...

SC

[ableguy]

Why dont you retire to a sleepy town on the south coast like Bournemouth or Eastbourne? The woman there a less cut-throat. In the summer you can sit on a deckchair by the beach and lick an ice cream with a Hankercheif over your head.

Maybe in the evening you could go to the Bingo hall, then a cup of Horlicks, a read, then bed.

How does one get to this paradise, can one volunteer to be a pooper scooper on the sea front ?

[alexth]

Seen this all the times in my 6 years here. My friendly advice is cut your losses and move on

[seriouseats]

I am surprised that so many people on this forum value their money higher than their wives. I suppose that is why they attract the gold diggers.

Sounds to me like you're lucky enough to be married to a woman you love and trust. Bravo.

I too was equally lucky. My son's mother and I had ten and a half years together. It was great. She was the only woman in Thailand who would never cheat. Seriously. She would never cheat. Never.

She's a restaurant manager at one of the tourist hotels here in BKK. She manages 32 staff. She earns good money.

One day last Summer a 63 year-old Belgian guy went into the hotel. He was the manager (or coach) of what last year was the top football team here in Thailand.

He smiled at her; and she smiled at him. And you can work out for yourself what happened next.

I lost a lot, but I didn't lose it all.

And I can assure you that henceforth I will value my money much more highly than a woman.

I dont know where you get your standards, but in the west.. The cute girls working the desk and moving up in hotel business are the same girls you'll find at 4am hooking up left and right untill their 45.

Then they hit the early hours to get the little baby boys.

[Loz]

When I say older ladies, I'm talking 50+ I'm prepared to be ridiculed but I haven't found more than a couple women younger than this who talk about the things that matter to me (family, upbringing, genuinely caring for people - which I like to be reminded of) in any kind of meaningful way. I don't want to hear how if I can lend them some money they can buy an Iphone 4 I want to hear about what the world will or has gained from their existence and what (non superficial) dreams and hopes they have. How they've been hurt and learned the value of trust the hard way. In other words. A grown up. I don't mind crows feet and the odd grey hair. I'd rather have that and good conversation than a set of fake double Ds and having to hear about Korean soap stars and other tosh that doesn't engage me at all.

[Loz]

I think if you've even lost a good woman, you look for a substitute to protect yourself from that loss and its usually material things. If you've ever lost material wealth, you look for a good woman to distract you from the misery of being broke. Flip sides of the same coin?

Maybe the happiest man in town is the Buddist who knows that you never really own anything or anyone and should treat every moment of happiness as a gift with no strings.

Nothing lasts forever. Not even Life. So it is up to us to establish values we can live with and try to live by them. I for one have changed my values in my 30's quite a bit. I dare say my 40's might see more changes. But I know I'm happier expecting less than more.

Who was it who said, "Live like your dying"? They have a good point.

[IanForbes]

When I say older ladies, I'm talking 50+ I'm prepared to be ridiculed but I haven't found more than a couple women younger than this who talk about the things that matter to me (family, upbringing, genuinely caring for people - which I like to be reminded of) in any kind of meaningful way. I don't want to hear how if I can lend them some money they can buy an Iphone 4 I want to hear about what the world will or has gained from their existence and what (non superficial) dreams and hopes they have. How they've been hurt and learned the value of trust the hard way. In other words. A grown up. I don't mind crows feet and the odd grey hair. I'd rather have that and good conversation than a set of fake double Ds and having to hear about Korean soap stars and other tosh that doesn't engage me at all.

I know what you are talking about, Loz. Interesting people usually have a few years on their bodies. I have lots of lady friends in their late 40s and older. But, they are not sexual partners. In some past topic I mentioned having women friends interested in the outdoors, the arts field, writing and photography. If you join a club in one of those fields the chances are you will meet interesting people of both sexes. People who have similar interests are more likely to have a better chance at a long term relationship. However, as I am NOT looking for a long term intimate relationship I'll stick to my rentals who know the score. We still enjoy each others company, but for a shorter period of time.

[welsh1]

sorry forgot to mention. if she agrees to a divorce it is a very straight forward thing to end. just go into the amphur office where the marriage took place or was registered and tell them you want to get divorced. some id and a few signatures here and there and thats it. family member of mine got one and we waited for them only 15 minutes to completion.

+1.

just been through it recently.

me to took 15mins local amphur office cost me all of 40baht

[sarahsbloke]

I am surprised that so many people on this forum value their money higher than their wives. I suppose that is why they attract the gold diggers.

SC

I've always found it much easier to acquire a wife than to accumulate money.

To attract a gold digger, one must first have gold.

[maprao]

she didn't take everything. She was given it.

In a Nutshell!

A fool and his money are soon parted.

And the other maxim: How to make a small fortune in Thailand?

Start off with a large fortune.

If she looks too good to be true, she probably is.

very true all of it! but I hope you are happier in reality than in your post!