Have You Ever Felt 'Kreng Jai' Towards The Seller/Salesperson/Vendor

[wednes]

My American advisor is interested to learn that Thais often feel kreng jai towards the salesperson and often end up buying things they do not want or holding themselves not to bother the salesperson. He was wondering whether people in other countries have ever felt that way and what causes them to feel kreng jai even though the salesperson do nothing to them.

Anyone has experiences. Please relate your story. Do you feel kreng jai because you expect the salesperson to feel bad? Do you feel kreng jai towards the salesperson in your home country?

[ukrules]

What does 'kreng jai' mean ?

[wednes]

What does 'kreng jai' mean ?

Kreng jai basically means considerate, don't want to bother people. That is, a kreng jai person is concerned with the others' feelings & ego and tries not to make others feel bad. So Thais often feel kreng jai if a salesperson is helpful to them such that they buy products that they may not want to buy or are afraid to bother the salesperson, to complain.

[DP25]

I mostly see Thai people buying things they don't want out of pity, like from an elderly or crippled person selling some food or trinket. I'll do the same with food.

[JurgenG]

I'm not sure I really grasp the "Kreng jai" meaning but one thing that really bother me in Thailand is the inability of Thai to challenge vendors. Thai people don't like to ask question, it seems it means they are stupid, they don't understand what the other guy is talking about. So they accept very bad deal because they can't challenge the vendor.

To answer the OP, it's not about making the other side uncomfortable, it's more about being shy to ask question. It's an asian thing but Thai are really the worse

[Pontare]

A good salesman in any country will make you feel Kreng Jai to buy their products. It is one of their sales techniques. So for me, yes, probably more times than I like to admit to myself.

[zzaa09]

Kreng Jai is apart of us all.

[Mirth]

I'm not sure I really grasp the "Kreng jai" meaning but one thing that really bother me in Thailand is the inability of Thai to challenge vendors. Thai people don't like to ask question, it seems it means they are stupid, they don't understand what the other guy is talking about. So they accept very bad deal because they can't challenge the vendor.

To answer the OP, it's not about making the other side uncomfortable, it's more about being shy to ask question. It's an asian thing but Thai are really the worse

It's not an asian thing, more like gullibilty. It's hard to acknowledge or advise cos they feel superior when purchasing even if it's a bad deal. Some sales people use this superior complex of the buyer to sell their wares. See it for yourself, the culprits are the one inflating the egos of the buyer so much that the buyer feels that they have to buy the item even if it means paying double through financing.

[IMA_FARANG]

If that includes accepting those "free" lemon scented towelettes they hand you from a foodseller with your food...when you know perfectly well that "free" towelette will end up on your bill...then most tourists that have been to Thailand have been in that situation.

And yes, I've bought things from vendors I knew I didn't really need...and been critcized for that fact from my Thai wife. On the other hand I've seen my Thai wife buy things from vendors she knew she didn't really need...mainly from children who were selling small items that weren't expensive. I'm sure that is precisely why the children were selling those items and not their parents. I'm sure she suspected that too.

For Thais also this ties into the "face" question. If you are in a reasonably good situation, you wuuld lose "face" if you quibbled about a few baht over an inexpensive item...especially if the person selling that item was a apparently poor and possibly hungry child.

At the same time I've seen my wife get very angry about paying an extra 5 baht per kilo for fruit she bought in a market for 40 baht when she could have bought the same item on the other side of Bangkok for 35 baht. The fact that she would have to take 30 minutes to get there, and spend possibly 50 baht in gas to get to that market didn't mean anything. She still thought she was being "cheated" by having to pay 40 baht, rather than the 35 baht she could have paid someplace else.

That's just human nature, I guess.

[happyrobert]

What does 'kreng jai' mean ?

Kreng jai basically means considerate, don't want to bother people. That is, a kreng jai person is concerned with the others' feelings & ego and tries not to make others feel bad. So Thais often feel kreng jai if a salesperson is helpful to them such that they buy products that they may not want to buy or are afraid to bother the salesperson, to complain.

Heck, no. I want them to feel all kreng-jai'd.

It drives me crazy at Home Pro when they puppy dog me everywhere.

Unless she's really cute.

Then it bothers my girlfriend.

[petedk]

I discussed this topic with my friend last night.

Apparently a colleague left her company to start his own business selling artificial flowers. My friend is the purchasing manager of the company and she told me that she now buys his products as gifts to suppliers "even though they are not the best available". When I asked her why she did that she replied "gren jai". "To help him with his business". She then told me that the company pays more for his products per month than he received in salary!!!! TIT.

Another example she gave me was the fact that she bought some kind of insurance from her friend to the tune of several hundred thousand baht over a few years. It wasn't even a form of saving like most insurances.

I think Thai people find it very difficult to say no to friends and people in less fortunate situations.

[IanForbes]

I used to feel kerng Jai for all those pretty, young women in Pattaya who were offering their services. I felt I was obliged to buy what they were offering because I didn't want to upset them. I can't say it was a bad experience, even though it became expensive after a while. But, it always pleased me that they seemed to be happy afterwards.

[sarahsbloke]

What does 'kreng jai' mean ?

Kreng jai basically means considerate, don't want to bother people. That is, a kreng jai person is concerned with the others' feelings & ego and tries not to make others feel bad. So Thais often feel kreng jai if a salesperson is helpful to them such that they buy products that they may not want to buy or are afraid to bother the salesperson, to complain.

greng jai = fear of offending (เกรงใจ)

Being a western person, I am more than happy to offend anyone!

Including those who hand out incorrect definitions of Thai words and concepts.

(although in this case it might be excusable as the online dictionaries also have it wrong, google translate suggests 'thoughtful')

[a51mas]

What the OP described is more like a pity rather than greng jai, ....what greng jai really means is that .... you don't want to take advantage of the situation and impose on someone for you own benefit.:jap:

[Tywais]

A flame and responses to it have been removed.

[PattayaParent]

What does 'kreng jai' mean ?

Kreng jai basically means considerate, don't want to bother people. That is, a kreng jai person is concerned with the others' feelings & ego and tries not to make others feel bad. So Thais often feel kreng jai if a salesperson is helpful to them such that they buy products that they may not want to buy or are afraid to bother the salesperson, to complain.

greng jai = fear of offending (เกรงใจ)

Being a western person, I am more than happy to offend anyone!

Including those who hand out incorrect definitions of Thai words and concepts.

(although in this case it might be excusable as the online dictionaries also have it wrong, google translate suggests 'thoughtful')

Then you must find yourself offensive.

[Heng]

It's not an asian thing, more like gullibilty.

Yeah, those Girls Scouts selling cookies and band nerds trying to raise funds for their misc. trips washing cars really had my number in terms of gullibility back in the day. It exists in all cultures to some degree, even if they don't have a specific term for it.

[wednes]

What does 'kreng jai' mean ?

Kreng jai basically means considerate, don't want to bother people. That is, a kreng jai person is concerned with the others' feelings & ego and tries not to make others feel bad. So Thais often feel kreng jai if a salesperson is helpful to them such that they buy products that they may not want to buy or are afraid to bother the salesperson, to complain.

greng jai = fear of offending (เกรงใจ)

Being a western person, I am more than happy to offend anyone!

Including those who hand out incorrect definitions of Thai words and concepts.

(although in this case it might be excusable as the online dictionaries also have it wrong, google translate suggests 'thoughtful')

Thanks all of you for your responses.

I gave the general definition because I just did not want to list all dimensions of kreng jai and want to hear from respondents' understanding.

Being a Thai, I would say that greng jai does not only mean fear of offending. It is just one part of it. Perhaps fear of offending maybe a more common implication in the organizational and interpersonal context when an employee fears to comment a boss's statement, or a friend feel kreng jai to give a true comment for her friend . Well, when arguing this term, you might have to be aware of the context in question. I'm interested in a shopping context. In fact, the underlying construct is the same. When one fears of offending people because one cares about their feelings. Actually, I often spend some time contemplating what I should write when I answer anybody's thread online since I'm afraid that it may hurt someone's feelings. Honestly, no offense and sarcasm.

Also, kreng jai does not mean only not want to take advantage, there are many situations when kreng jai put a person feeling kreng jai a disadvantage.

Kreng Jai is a feeling that we are afraid that our action would bother and hurt the other persons' feeling. You do not want to bother, offend people, or take advantage of them because you take that person's perspective and expect them to feel bad. Having talked with a number of Thais, some said that they felt kreng jai to buy only a piece of food from the street vendor so they bought more than they need. Another mentioned he knew that he won't buy so he felt kreng jai when a seller put effort in helping him. A common situation is a nice seller makes a customer feel kreng jai. It is not only about fear to offend or take advantage. Often we do sacrifice our own interest e.g. buy more/unwanted good because we expect that the seller may feel bad and we do not want them to feel that way. That is, we consider the seller's feeling especially when we perceived or expect that the seller put effort for us.

I just want to hear stories and experiences if you have ever had such a feeling especially when you are in your home country. I want to know similarities and differences between eastern and western way and if it is a unique Thai trait.

Thanks again and being a non native English speaker, I'm sorry in advance for my English and in case people argue about using k instead g(reng jai). I just use what seems to be more common although I think it better pronounces with G.