A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many

kinds of boobies are there?

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of

breasts. In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and

firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but

hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mom, how

many kins of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes

through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree,

mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible

but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."

An old one that I had forgotten about but now archived - thank you!

http://www.anetizer.com/index.php?joke=332

Another one from the same dinner table?

A dinner conversation that went wrong

WIFE: "If I died first, would you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: - - - silence - - -

HUSBAND: "Shit."

Edited October 10, 200520 yr by John_Betong

An oldie but a goldie