Do You Know A More Messed Up Thai Girl Than This ?

[anterian]

Thais play out similar stories in their lives, it just seems strange to us when farangs are involved. Watching the marital and extra-marital goings on in my village are quite entertaining, what is surprising is how openly they occur. My partner gives me daily updates on the latest events just in case I don't notice myself. For the kids, grandmother seems to be the stabilising force, they have three homes, either father plus new woman or mother with new man, or grandmother, all in the same village.

[ToffeEFCpower]

I would love to get some opinions on a good friend of mine and his long suffering relationship.

He met her about 10 yrs ago, and while he works away, a month at a time earning good money, she's lived the high life. After he built her a house here, bought a car, they had they first child. When my friend was at work, his 'wife' was seen on a regular basis in the main town of a Thai resort where they lived. She would be out drinking in bars and clubs until all hours getting p1ssed, with their daughter being taken care of by a nanny. This was going on for months, and when my friend returned home from work for his months stay, she would constantly break his balls if he was ever away from home for more than a few hours. Invariably, he would sheepishly answer his phone, and have to run off back home.

After a short while, she started having an affair with another european she met in a bar, and would openly parade around with him when my friend was at work. This went on for about 6 months, resulting in my friend selling their new car, so she would not get her hands on the cash sale. After a few months her new relationship dissolved, he took her back, they sold their house, and moved to a different resort to try and patch up their relationship, with my friend calling her a ' silly girl '.

After a couple of months settled in this new resort, he bought her a new house, bought a new truck, and shortly after she gave birth to their second child. They were then legally married. It wasn't long before she was up to her old tricks. Once he was at work, she was out drinking in karaoke bars till all hours. She even started to do this when he was at home. He would be left looking after the kids, and at least twice a week, she would roll in, usually the next day, about 7 am. My friend just shrugged it off. I once attended her birthday party at his house. After my friend took her a cake with their daughter, she said she wanted to go into Town. At 11 pm she started shouting at him until he handed over his ATM card. She wasn't seen again until 8 am the next day.

Over the next yr or so, he paid for her to have new breasts, a nose job, and extensive dental work. You wouldn't see her with the same haircut for more than 2 weeks. She would go from a crop, to extensions, a frizzy ginger bob, back to a crop. She had a tattoo done that covered her entire back ! She said she wanted to be a nurse. He paid for her to attend college and after 2 weeks she threw in the towel. She wanted to have her own salon, so he paid for her to go to beauty school. She lasted about a 10 days. A little while later she moved out of their house because she had met someone else. A new european guy, and was trying to get her Visa to move to his home country. She moved above a bar/restaurant and worked downstairs. This lasted for about 6 months, while my mate took care of the kids himself. Her various visa applications were refused and the relationship ended. During this time, they got divorced by the way.

Not to be outdone, within weeks, she started a new relationship with an Ozzie guy, and they moved into a new rental house a few miles from my friend and his kids. Although she was only round the corner, she rarely visited them, and spent a lot of time in BKK, where she now worked in a factory. After about 9 months the Ozzie guy gave her the elbow and she was left alone. When my friend had returned from work, he found that his ex-wife had dismissed the nanny, and moved back in. She stayed there for about 2 months. When he returned from another trip, she had relocated with the kids, to her village in the north. My mate now comes home from work to an empty house, and has to visit the kids on every trip home. She has been provided with a substantial monthly income by him..I really expect her to be back soon, when she's bored of this chapter of her fruitcake life.

This is a massively condensed version of what has been probably the most mental relationship i have ever witnessed. Many times i have tried to tell him to get a grip, and sometimes i just want to grab him by the shoulders, shake him for about 3hrs , and slap him about until he wakes up from this self imposed nightmare. Anyone else's views would be good should he read this. Not that they'll make any difference by the way. Cheers.

[ToffeEFCpower]

Hate to say it but your friend is a total deluded nob head lol.

You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl.

[wombat]

her skills must be legend

[rotary]

I have had almost the same thing.....I suggest you pick a good time then tell your mate there is something you need to talk to him about and it involves that GF. Now ask him if he wants to listen. If he says no just drop it, if he says yes then ask him how much does he want to hear then proceed according to his wishes. Its a hard spot to be in but I have seen this many times in the 20 plus years I have been in Thailand.

I have a friend right now who met a girl less than 6 months ago and now he is buying expensive stuff and putting in her name.....I warned him but he proceeds. Gosh.......................................................................

Good Luck.

He will have to practice two words , Bye Bye.

I know of a man who lives in Pattaya, he has a room there and has for about 4 years , He had a good lady that lived with him, honest and trust worthy, he has finished with her, He now has a new lady. younger and more attractive , Her Thai Brother comes and visits her every day, It is common knowledge that it is her Thai husband. Should I tell him and would he believe me. so there are two sides to every story and should you get involved. the Thais have a saying , UP to you.its there life .

Edited June 19, 2011 by rotary

[rotary]

My guess is he is "throwing" lots of money at her to "support" the kids. Cut the cash right off right now down to baht 3000 per kid per month then when he goes to see the kids he can take clothes, toys,even food but cut her cash now. She will not be spending money on the kids anyway but using that money on running around and showing off to boyfriends. Maybe when she see's the kids are not "cash cows" she will just give the kids back to him. I feel sorry for the kids the most.

<br />

<br />Most women rich or poor, pretty or ugly, educated or not have no idea what is making them unhappy, bored and to over think. When times are good they think it can never last and they worry when times are bad they tend to over thing and worry and freak out by watching drama on tv, creating drama with the people around them or looking for a hero. If a man starts listening to her demands or worries then in her eyes he lost and she will lose all attraction to him and see him as fool for listening to her. From a man who him self was a house husband and now a working husband never support a woman, girl friend and especially a wife. she has to stand on her own 2 feet and she has to work and pay her half. neever treat a woman as a helpless daughter no matter how beautiful she is no matter what nice words she chooses to use. BR<br />

<br /><br />In my experience it is men who "have no idea what is making them, unhappy, bored" etc.... But, will always blame it on someone else, its never anything to do with them....<br /><br />Western women are far more self-analytical, and realise exactly what the are feeling and why.<br />

<br /><br /><br />

I agree with both assessments in general. If you move somewhere unhappy, uncertain, bored etc it is most likely not going to do a 180 and be the dream world when you land. The individual may have ran but the reality followed them. Flying over the ocean does not clear your conscience. In fact I believe most foreigners moving here believe that the answer to their unhappiness resides with a young Thai woman and a lot of booze. That these subtle beauties can't wait to meet a foreigner man to love, cherish and take care of them. As we read on TV and other forums this, in many cases, is the farthest from the truth and reality.

Generally speaking most the foreigner men who stay in these cheating relationships are blinded by the fact they are still hooked on the "I cant believe this young beauty loves me" drug and will drop to their knees at all costs to have her stay no matter what she does. Once this young lady learns she has control of this broken man(or good hearted man) the exploitation begins. But in the end he allows this behavior to continue. He owns the outcome. I have zero sympathy for the individual. Case in point, I have a foreigner acquaintance friend I met 6 months back and he is in this "Love Drug" mode. To hear him talk is almost sad. Tells me she is the best "woman" he has ever met(19 years old). That she listens to him and cares. That she treats him so nice. That he knows she will not cheat on him. That he loves buying her things, That she wants a baby with him. I walk away shaking my head. He has been hooked on the "Crackgina". You cannot talk any sense to him.

Someone in this thread commented that they cannot understand why a man would marry a bar girl, I tend to agree. Why do they? Maybe it is because it is the path of least dating resistance. They speak the language and clearly know how to manipulate the situation. It is easy to meet them as they are in career where their job is to meet men. They are little sales women. Maybe because the guy got turned inside out by her and fears losing it. Either way most, from what I have personally witnessed and heard, end in a ugly mess with the woman going back to her money making little enterprise and the poor man broke and broken. I do not frown on what these women do, I simply laugh at the men that fall into the trap.

[soihok]

Oh dear.

Loads of negative posts, to a negative OP.

To add light on this, I am married to Thai lady for 10 years now, she used to work in a bar.

We have two girls and are very happy.

She is not demanding and an excellent mother. We don't live in Thai tourist resort.

Its all about family, trust and luurrv.

Our eldest daughter is severely mentally disabled . This situation makes us both realise how lucky we really are.

[JulietLima]

What is new ? Many lived this kind of experience many times, but continue to look for it..... I have a few friends like this.

[BlueSmurf]

As the saying goes.....never changes its spots! Love is blind and she knows that...The kids will survive but at what cist to their future being? She does not care.If he can bring himself to do it leave take the kids back to his home country.But thats not easy.Si spend the money on tbe kids good schools etc. CUT HER OUT OR HE WILL BE IN AN EARLY GRAVE!

[samjaidee]

thats bad... but in now way unquie !, i count 5 odd relationships around me which are very similair

To say "that's bad" has got to be the understatement of the year. It's completely insane.

How could any sane person put up with that sort of behaviour for 10 weeks, let alone 10 years.

I feel great pity for any man who is so desperate to hold on to a relationship that he will allow his partner to behave in that manner.

[Napat9]

R E L A T I O N S H I P

Really

Exciting

Love

Affair

Turns

Into

Outrageous

Nightmare

Sanity

Hangs

In

Peril

[ade]

Is it better not to get emotionally involved

Sexual gratification can be had without involvement.

When you get old get a live in nurse

[BlackJack]

sounds normal to me

som nom na

A rich business Thai guy once told me "stick to take outs" and this has become the cardinal rule

[CNXTim]

i read this missive all the way through - Y A W N. BTW, I do have one bit of advice it is spelt, "Aussie"

[laolover]

First off I guess all assume this was a bar girl when he met her....I dont see where longballlarry states this.

Assuming she is(a bar girl) there is an expression that is more often true than not it seems here in land of smiles. "You can take the girl out of the bar but you cannot take the bar out of the girl." especially true if they began working at 16 0r 17 or if they grew up around a mom who worked in a bar and took the daughter there on a regular basis.... a lifestyle that is addictive and not easily changed. Adrenalin, danger, sex and relatively fast big money.especially for a taang chaangwat girl from the far north of NE.

Before you select the mother of your children it is a good idea to see how she was brought up. See if they were taught how to manage finances, see if education is a priorty in the family, watch for family incest (especially by aunties and uncles etc...)signs, see if alchoholism is present ( these days yaa baa use also).....and still there is no guarantee all will be well...

BTW, what is it with all these farang that marry LO SO, and dont look for a professional carreer woman with education, family background, assets, and money in the bank. What are you guys, saviours of the poor and down-trodden with no education? If thats the case som num na! It is your cross!

A bar girl is (at the risk of being sexist) is a toy to be kept at a distance and to have fun with. She is expensive entertainment even then....but you can walk away anytime and find a new toy.These are ego strokers,take them dancing to a nice restaurant, to a party, go on a short holiday,stay in a 4 star+ plus room and buy them gucci, LV and Channel and you will get long fine, both have a great time....and NO HEADACHES, broken bank accounts,lost assets. If you cant afford to play the game GET OUT. Getting married to try and save a buck because its in your bed everynight is the worst possible choice! Again som num na!

But on a bright note there are kind responsible women working in bars, who can be excellent moms and wives......

Edited June 19, 2011 by laolover

[Moza]

It isn't only Thai bar girls that cheat on their husbands, all thai Girls come with a use by Date on them. The older they get the longer they sit on there B..m in the Bar. Looking for the NEXT ATM to come along.

But i do feel sorry for your mate and the two kids.

[scorecard]

Goodie another weepy about a western guy marrying a bar girl with no education and being surprised when shit hits the fan !

I am in shock : You mean Bar girls don't magically turn into Best Mum and loyal wife when you marry them ???

See you at post 4562 !

It isn't only bar girls that cheat on their husbands.

And there's plenty of stories of farang men cheating on their western and Thai wives, fathering children all over the place, being irresponsible, and more.

[rvdk]

Just never see her agian, your friend had to say that in the first week he met her. Bye bye and give her nothing, too bad they have children.

Once a sl.t always a sl.t, dump her she will or did ruin his life.

[Derifo]

Goodie another weepy about a western guy marrying a bar girl with no education and being surprised when shit hits the fan !

I am in shock : You mean Bar girls don't magically turn into Best Mum and loyal wife when you marry them ???

See you at post 4562 !

It isn't only bar girls that cheat on their husbands.

You're very correct.

[Napat9]

RELATIONSHIP

Really

Exciting

Love

Affair

Turns

Into

Outrageous

Nightmare

Sanity

Hangs

In

Peril

[softgeorge]

is she hot ?

Why are you going to be nice and take her off his hands?

[Chupup]

The actual question in the title is imho backward.... The question should be do you know a more messed up man, or a more stupid girl? The answers to both questions would be yes.

right on

[Chupup]

The actual question in the title is imho backward.... The question should be do you know a more messed up man, or a more stupid girl? The answers to both questions would be yes.

right on

[kerryk]

Goodie another weepy about a western guy marrying a bar girl with no education and being surprised when shit hits the fan !

I am in shock : You mean Bar girls don't magically turn into Best Mum and loyal wife when you marry them ???

See you at post 4562 !

It isn't only bar girls that cheat on their husbands.

And there's plenty of stories of farang men cheating on their western and Thai wives, fathering children all over the place, being irresponsible, and more.

Ya and their Thai wives send them money and buy them new cars all the time.

[scorecard]

Goodie another weepy about a western guy marrying a bar girl with no education and being surprised when shit hits the fan !

I am in shock : You mean Bar girls don't magically turn into Best Mum and loyal wife when you marry them ???

See you at post 4562 !

It isn't only bar girls that cheat on their husbands.

And there's plenty of stories of farang men cheating on their western and Thai wives, fathering children all over the place, being irresponsible, and more.

Ya and their Thai wives send them money and buy them new cars all the time.

So are you saying that because the husband sends money to his wife, that means he's entitled to play around?

[longballlarry]

<br>i read this missive all the way through - Y A W N. BTW, I do have one bit of advice  it is spelt, "Aussie"<br>

<br><br><div>thanks mate. but maybe the guys name was Osbourne so therefore Ozzie . Another line of your input, and you too would have had the same coma inducing effect on me. ;zzzzzz. Everyone loves another angry expat bore with no substance, so he reverts to his dictionary to create a much needed hourly argument. ; Thanks for the attempt at a spelling lesson though. Your TEFL course is paying off at last. ( ps ; Sorry for not starting the sentence with a capital letter, as you put it BTW...but.as I put it... ICBF because ;YAFW . Edited June 20, 2011 by longballlarry

[pattayasnowman]

Don't be too quick to judge this guy. Anybody can fall into this kind of situation over here.

You think it won't happen to you, you think your so strong and will just dump someone like this?

Well maybe you are but don't be so sure.

There are countless stories like this , I have heard many over the years including one of my own.

This may not be if this happens to you but just when

[Yaaklenmai]

In my experience no "respectable" Thai girl/lady would go out drinking by herself.

Would it be a reasonable guess to suggest that she used to work in a bar?

[inthepink]

It isn't only Thai bar girls that cheat on their husbands, all thai Girls come with a use by Date on them. The older they get the longer they sit on there B..m in the Bar. Looking for the NEXT ATM to come along.

But i do feel sorry for your mate and the two kids.

All Thai girls sit on their bum and wait for deluded Westerners to come along? You might want to remove your head from your own bum and stop spending your life in seedy bars. On the other hand, you might not.