Resettling In The Us With Thai Wife Or Gf, Any Good Experiences?

[bangkokburning]

Ten years ago, I tried to go back and was miserable. I resettled near my parents for a variety of reasons. It was beautiful, but very small town and parochial. I had low expectations on the job front, but hat never really came together as well. Took me five months to return but I also had five months back in states the year prior as my mother had fallen and injured herself and I had to care for her. Anyway...

Contemplating a move back, perhaps in a few years. This time, I new approach and a partner. I think guys that try to go back without a partner are doomed to be miserable unless they never really took to Asia in the first place.

Interested in guys that have made it work and even those that couldn't...are/were you married? Was a job important for money or to occupy your time? Poor regional choice?

I am interested in your story, not the current economic situation and how that might impact a move. Please feel free to tie it in to your story.

Thanks.

[craigt3365]

I moved this over to the Family forum to save you from the onslaught you'd for sure get in the General forum.

I moved back to the US in 2004 with my Thai wife. She loved it, but....work sucked, my company went bankrupt, got another lousy job...and then decided to quit the rat race and spend some time with my ailing father. I knew he didn't have much time left.

It would have been pretty much impossible for me to do that without my wife. I think Thai's appreciate elderly people more than westerners. She loved cooking for my dad, taking care of him, etc. He had some pretty bad times in the years before he passed. But we had a blast.

I'm still dealing with my ailing mother and we go back 2 times a year for around 6 weeks each time. Again, without wifey, it would be much, much, much more difficult.

My mother lives in a very small town in rural Nevada. Nothing to do and horrible weather. Too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter. And always dry and windy. So, we decided we couldn't live there and eventually bought a house here 2 years ago. We did look around the US quite a bit before deciding on Thailand. But nothing got me excited. I spent most of my life in Southern California...but can't imagine going back and dealing with the traffic, etc...not to mention the high taxes and cost of living there.

We miss the US terribly. Great shopping, cheap wine, great national parks, great infrastructure...TIVO!!!! But I retired early, so better for me to live here than it is back in the US...especially without health insurance.

We talk about moving back...and I think one day we may do that. But for now, we love Thailand. I have more friends here now than I do back in the US. Almost too many! Seems easier to meet people here than back home. I'm not a bar person and don't like hanging out in bars. We have a lovely pool house and entertain our friends here often. Or visit them at their houses. The weather here is perfect for a pool house. Too hot? Just jump in.

I think if we moved back to someplace like California, we would probably have to work to make some extra money. And would forgo all the help we have here. Pool guy, 7 day a week garden guy, 2-3 times a week maid/house cleaning. We love to eat out and it's so easy to do that here. Much more expensive back home, and IMHO, places like Olive Garden are just not that interesting.

Anyway, rambling a bit. Best of luck with your decision.

I do agree that if I moved back without a wife/partner, it wouldn't be as fun. I love Thai food. I hated the dating scene in the US.

[inzman]

Took the wife back to California and she started to act like a selfish falong wife. Had to divorce her and came back to Thailand Best thing I ever did was leave her there.

[SteeleJoe]

I moved this over to the Family forum to save you from the onslaught you'd for sure get in the General forum.

I moved back to the US in 2004 with my Thai wife. She loved it, but....work sucked, my company went bankrupt, got another lousy job...and then decided to quit the rat race and spend some time with my ailing father. I knew he didn't have much time left.

It would have been pretty much impossible for me to do that without my wife. I think Thai's appreciate elderly people more than westerners. She loved cooking for my dad, taking care of him, etc. He had some pretty bad times in the years before he passed. But we had a blast.

I'm still dealing with my ailing mother and we go back 2 times a year for around 6 weeks each time. Again, without wifey, it would be much, much, much more difficult.

My mother lives in a very small town in rural Nevada. Nothing to do and horrible weather. Too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter. And always dry and windy. So, we decided we couldn't live there and eventually bought a house here 2 years ago. We did look around the US quite a bit before deciding on Thailand. But nothing got me excited. I spent most of my life in Southern California...but can't imagine going back and dealing with the traffic, etc...not to mention the high taxes and cost of living there.

We miss the US terribly. Great shopping, cheap wine, great national parks, great infrastructure...TIVO!!!! But I retired early, so better for me to live here than it is back in the US...especially without health insurance.

We talk about moving back...and I think one day we may do that. But for now, we love Thailand. I have more friends here now than I do back in the US. Almost too many! Seems easier to meet people here than back home. I'm not a bar person and don't like hanging out in bars. We have a lovely pool house and entertain our friends here often. Or visit them at their houses. The weather here is perfect for a pool house. Too hot? Just jump in.

I think if we moved back to someplace like California, we would probably have to work to make some extra money. And would forgo all the help we have here. Pool guy, 7 day a week garden guy, 2-3 times a week maid/house cleaning. We love to eat out and it's so easy to do that here. Much more expensive back home, and IMHO, places like Olive Garden are just not that interesting.

Anyway, rambling a bit. Best of luck with your decision.

I do agree that if I moved back without a wife/partner, it wouldn't be as fun. I love Thai food. I hated the dating scene in the US.

Like me, you are apparently fortunate enough to have a very fine woman. Mine of 19 years had shown me so many, many times her astonishing and absolute loyalty and selflessness through the very worst of times together -- but never more than when she showed how much she was willing to do for my parents.

[bangkokburning]

Thanks for your input.

Craig - we seem to have a great deal in common. I am also from So Ca, job went overseas. My girlfriend has been to states, loved it. She now has a proper visa. Elderly parents - I can see my girlfriend being very good with them. Both are looking fwd to our visit.

Perhaps the post was folly...I once again have come to see how reasonably priced things are here save for land perhaps. The dollar is killing me and I'd like some reasonably priced Bourbon.

Had great times as a kid in So Ca, but I will never go back as well.

Anyway - Thanks to you all, even inzman - it happens (often)

[craigt3365]

My ex-wife (USA, from wealthy family) never liked my parents. She would never have taken care of them. Wifey does my Mom's nails, makeup, does her hair, helps her dress...and deals with her dementia related problems quite well....most of the time. Actually, deals with them better than me.

She loved cooking for my Dad, making him a martini, cutting his nails, cutting his hair, and taking care of him when he was sick...which was a tough job.

For sure the dollar is killing me also. And would love some cheaper wine. Plus, better shopping options (electronics, cars, etc).

But you can still get cheap property here. Just not in the major metro areas.

We visit SoCal every year to see friends. It's great fun...as we (usually) don't have to deal with the traffic mess.

Again, best of luck!

[Patron]

Been married 6yrs and my Thai wife has been in USA 4yrs. She loves it here. We go back to visit family every year for 1 month.

We have a home 2hrs north of BKK. This year we stayed there 2 weeks and then went to BKK to visit friends.

After 2 days she said... I want to go home. I said you what to go back up north? No, I want to go my home America.

Ahh you are homesick. What's that she said, I told her and then 10 times every day she said I'm homesick,we go now.

Biggest problem she had in the states was she knew no english. Then their was the problem of my 4 sisters.

They met my wife the first time on a hot summer day at the family lakehome. My wife was spending all her time

making sure my beer was full,plenty of snacks and that I was happy. My sisters husbands spend most of their

time staring wide eyed at my 45k wife. My sisters spend their time looking at my wife and shaking their heads.

My wife then picked up my bare foot and looked at my toenails and then opened her purse and got out a nail file

and clippers. She procedded to give me a pedicure. THATS IT IV'E SEEN ENUF I'm outta here,my oldest sister said.

1 year later my sisters love my wife (except for not knowing how to treat a man)

My mother sez....The day you meet that girl....was the best day of your life.

[Patron]

Ohh one more thing...My wife now works 50hrs a week at a Thai resturant as 2nd chef. When she gets her paycheck and I tell

her what it is in Baht she screams in delight. She works 50hrs a week and then comes home and makes sure our home is

spotless.

There are some people on TV that think Thai girls walk on water. Count me as one of them. Haters hold our big mouth shut.

[CaptHaddock]

My wife and I set up household here in the States after she arrived nine years ago. I have never lived in Thailand.

She has been very successful here, which success I attribute to these reasons:

1. She already had a college degree and was teaching English in a secondary school.

2. She had a strong desire to study in the US and to become fully fluent in English.

3. Two weeks after she arrived, she was a full-time student in an intensive, 20-hour per week, university ESL program.

4. After a year of the ESL program, she passed the TOEFL and enrolled in a full-time college program in her area of interest.

5. After completing her new degree she worked for several years in her field, and was successful at every job.

6. Her English is now quite fluent: she makes and understands jokes, reads and writes, resolves product issues on the phone with retailers and tech support, can identify and understand US regional accents, dreams in English, etc.

I think the key to successful integration into American society is mastering English and having a work ethic and ambition. In other words, she already had middle-class attitudes that were compatible with my own. Whatever the language study costs in time and money, it is worth it since incompetence is more expensive in the long run.

[craigt3365]

Wow...you're lucky!! My wife wanted to work, but I would not let her. Who would cook great Thai food for me? And who would I play with?

I do agree that mastering the local language is a must. Wifey also did a few language programs. One stint was about a year's worth of study, for about 15-20 hours a week. She became quite fluent. And like yours, understands slang, jokes, etc.