Chiang Mai'S Expats

[TantraMantra]

I'm brand new to this Forum but not to CM or Thailand.

Disclaimer: my comments are only for debate and do not always reflect my personal beliefs.

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Sadly this country and city does attract a lot of escapee, reclusive,old and grumpy boozer type people

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who do not want to interact with others very much.

Otherwise they might be back west with their friends and families.

They have their reasons to be here and making friends with other Farang is maybe just not one.

Yes some do hang their heads or avert their gaze as if they have something to hide.

A lot of their interaction with people is via a forum like this and they often use it to air their gripes.

Best just leave them be and look out for more open and friendly type farangs to be friends with...There are plenty.

And on this Forum too....Especially here as they make an effort to communicate.

It's just like back home.

Good post as it draws attention to a genuine expat problem.

[wolf5370]

A traveller was walking down a road towards a town when he came across a monk walking in the opposite direction.

"What are people like in the town you have just come from?" he asked the monk

The monk said "what were the people like in the town you have just come from?"

The man replied, "oh they were a miserable bunch, mean spirited, unfreindly, and did not make me feel welcome at all"

"well replied the monk, I think you will find them pretty much the same as where you have come from"

The monk continued his journey and came accross another traveller on the road who asked him the same question after waing him and putting some food in his alms bowl

"Revered monk please tell me what are the people like in the town you have just come from" asked the traveller.

The monk responded with the same qusetion. " Well you very generous man, what were the people like in the town you have just left?"

"Oh they were wonderful people, could not do enough for me, made me feel very welcome and shared everything they had with me, I could not have wished to meet nicer people"

"Well said the monk, I think you will find them pretty much the same as where you have just come from"

For me this sums up life wherever you choose to call home, you only get out as much as you put in, if you are freindly and generous to people, the likelihood is they will be friendly and generous towards you, in Chaing Mai, or anywhere else

I have heard this story many times - and it is still an absolute trueism in my opinion. Never had a problem meeting nice people here and chatting - sometimes I meet offish people, but they tend to isolate themselves pretty quickly anyway. In my first year here (to keep it in perspective) I met many people that I still sometimes meet up with or stop and chat with if I see them passing by (some sadly no longer live here). I think there is somewhat of a kucky (or unlucky) draw in the first instance - choosing the right bar or event to socialise is fairly important I guess. There are several farrang friendly expat bars and cafes in town (and out) that are a good starting point (even for non-drinkers, they sell coke too!). Get there at 8 to 9pm - if everyone is drunk, then its the wrong bar! turn up at 1am and you will likely only find the drunken hangers-on and celebrators. It doesn't take much to find a list here on the TV CM forum with a little perseveriance - sadly the Tuskers of old is gone, but it is hard not to have a friendly chat in The Guitarman or The Olde Bell for example. I made more friends in my first year here than I did in any year, ever, back home. I made friends with people from countries I have either never visited or not visited for many years. I am a Brit, but I have German, Australian, Spanish, Italian, American, Canadian, Filipino, French and I am sure if I think about it longer several other nations, as friends here - this is very unlikely to have happened back home (I had some from various countries, but not such a wide field - and mostly either stayed with their own or had married Brits and were 80%+ native). Of course I also have Thai friends too, but this thread is about expats here.

I do think the CR Pot-Luck day is a good model - BBQ/bring a meal and a bottle and meet up in a park once a month or so - for those that crave a farrang friend or seven or just a chat in their native tongue (and can easily be ignored by those that are trying to be native) - especially for those of us with kids too. Excerllent for newbies to break a bit of ice and to give the long termers a reason to socialise again.

[uptheos]

Real, long lasting contacts are not easy to make. Why?

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.

[Sao Jiang Mai]

It is very interesting reading your very varied comments and thoughts on the expat scene. I am not an expat, but father and husband both are and my work involves the expat community. My experience over 30+ years of being involved with many expats here is very positive. Of course you get the odd duck and there are some scenes which are not personally appealing, but there are so many absolutely fascinating people living here and a lot of people who are genuinely interested and invested in this city. There are environment groups, those who take care of the elderly, volunteers, thinkers, and just fun loving people - as everywhere I suppose. I have just found the expat community here to be very supportive of one another and an interesting bunch. From the dining scene, to some great bars, private parties, fun events and great activities, I think that it is a truely friendly city. I have seen so many new expats move here and enveloped by a group of new friends in no time. More often than not, they eventually move to another group or refine their friendships, but invariably they are welcomed by some if they are looking for it. No complaints here.

[Gladiator]

It is very interesting reading your very varied comments and thoughts on the expat scene. I am not an expat, but father and husband both are and my work involves the expat community. My experience over 30+ years of being involved with many expats here is very positive. Of course you get the odd duck and there are some scenes which are not personally appealing, but there are so many absolutely fascinating people living here and a lot of people who are genuinely interested and invested in this city. There are environment groups, those who take care of the elderly, volunteers, thinkers, and just fun loving people - as everywhere I suppose. I have just found the expat community here to be very supportive of one another and an interesting bunch. From the dining scene, to some great bars, private parties, fun events and great activities, I think that it is a truely friendly city. I have seen so many new expats move here and enveloped by a group of new friends in no time. More often than not, they eventually move to another group or refine their friendships, but invariably they are welcomed by some if they are looking for it. No complaints here.

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My family and I, (both Farang and Khon Thai) some of us for over 40 years,

could not agree more with your posting.

No Complaints here either.

[MangoAndCo]

Real, long lasting contacts are not easy to make. Why?

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.

Very true... but friendships used to grow naturally... here you have to meet 10,000 frogs first ;-)

[DavidOxon]

sure chiang mai has its share fair or nobses but this op chap is troll sure and please dont dont sit on me like its my birthday for this comment like its my thoughts

Ok Mr McN!

Nobs or Knobs?

There is a wealth of difference!

David

[wedders]

I`m half American and half English.

Which means I can be nice and polite one minute and then suddenly turn nasty within a moment.

Your English half should know that it's called having an ironic sense of humour. Your American half might not know what I'm talking about, though

[ARISTIDE]

I`m half American and half English.

Which means I can be nice and polite one minute and then suddenly turn nasty within a moment.

I don't think most British are nice and polite.

[jackr]

I`m half American and half English.

Which means I can be nice and polite one minute and then suddenly turn nasty within a moment.

Your English half should know that it's called having an ironic sense of humour. Your American half might not know what I'm talking about, though

^^ wouldn't waste your breath, the guy is clearly a sado, billy-no-mates individual alluding to the trollish op. Carrying on like that, I can tell you he has zero English in him.

[wedders]

Chiang Mai has the usual cross-section of expat humanity one might expect to find in S.E. Asia. As others have suggested, it's what you make of it. No one makes you socialise with those you don't particularly like. If your tolerance threshhold for different attitudes and approaches isn't high enough, then there are plenty of other opportunities to meet people in a fluid and sizeable farang population until you inevitably come across people of a like mind. As for me, I didn't go to Thailand to meet Westerners anyway, but on the rare occasion I did spend time with other non-Thais in Chiang Mai, I found most of them pretty easy-going, amenable sorts.

[weary]

I shower twice a day.

So do I, so whoever said we expats have nothing in common is clearly wrong.