A Tale Of 3 Thai Chicks

[StreetCowboy]

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Well if love is endless, i am yet to experience it! i thought I had been in love a few times, but as I get older i question the entire concept of love

I certainly agree that too many people mistake 'love' and 'lust....but of course, if I question the existence of love, what do i know anyyway?

Well you have something in common with prince Charles. he didn't know what love is either.

I think some people have misunderstood what I said about "true love" being endless.

I personally don't think "real love" is possible for most of us mere humans- too much genetic imperative involved. The only people I can think of that would have had it would be Mother Teresa, Ghandi and Jesus Christ.

I was only answering the question, "what is real love", not saying that we have it.

The bible has a good definition, but I can't be a*s*d trying to find it.

I'm not really a Royalist, but your speculations regarding our heir to the throne are not entirely ...offs there goes the vocabulary again...

SC

[Gonsalviz]

The girls that spoke English have been rented many times before.

TLL is 90% working girls.

There is no law that says you have to support their entire families, but their children and mother doesn't cost much and makes it a fair deal.

Just exclude everyone else.

I have a similar story to the OP but I never made it to 2,3,4 and 5. That is how many I had planned to scout out.

I take care of her family in a small way. Not because they ask me for anything but because they take very good care of me and don't ask for anything. The girls that came with the equation, I consider mine.

Good ones may be hard to find if you are looking in the wrong places. And yes, there are many working girls on TLL.

[Gonsalviz]

The girls that spoke English have been rented many times before.

TLL is 90% working girls.

What a weird contention.

I used TLL (and Matematcher before that), and not one of the women I met were "working girls," in the vernacular. Oh, all except one had jobs, so they worked, but those jobs were with established companies. I will admit that one possibly worked some in the entertainment industry, but the rest, including my now-wife, did not.

Unfortunately, ludditeman makes a valid point. There are exceptions, certainly. But if you were to assume that every English-speaking Thai girl you come into contact with has questionable intentions, you'd be right a majority of the time. I would not make that same generalization about the vast majority of Thai girls who don't speak English.

I know more than 1 Thai lady that can speak fluent English. None have ever worked in bars. I even asked 1 where she learned to speak English so well. She just said she paid attention in class.

Edited October 31, 2011 by Gonsalviz

[Gonsalviz]

I've dated a couple of hundred women in my time, I don't know exactly how many but it's in that area. I've dated women from about twenty countries, and a fair few religions and levels of society.

I can remember very very few that did not love their parents deeply, and care deeply about the well-being of their family.

When I was married there were a few times I had to help my Mother-In-Law out, never for a vast amount of money and to be honest I was very pleased to do so as she was amazing with my kids.

So the concept of having a Thai girlfriend, ( as I have ) that keeps in mind the needs of her mother is no shock to me. I don't mind, in fact I enjoy helping out, and in particular I like watching my gf and her mums faces when I take them to places together that they could only dream of.

However!! To me it is all a question of scale, some of the requests I've seen granted to Thai girls by my ex-pat pals are quite frankly ridiculous. Who in their right mind is going to buy a house they can never legally own and give it to a girl that they hardly know? ( at this point old hand Thaivisa members can fill in the names of guys they know that done exactly just that, and it's a long long list ).

I would suggest the concept of helping out parents is a worldwide phenomenon, the only difference here in Thailand is that someone has sprinkled some loony tune dust that makes some normally sane men make insane decisions.

ps If you ever hear of me buying my Thai gf a house, shoot me......I'll deserve it.

I'm building a house on my wife's land. Got no second thoughts.

[Gonsalviz]

I'm with you rgs2001uk. If a girl/woman wants to support her parents/family, she can do it, but I wouldn't be getting involved.

Why? Aren't you bothered about the people she loves? Seems very selfish to me.

No more selfish than her thinking that a farang partner should support her parents/family!!

This:

A couple of years ago there was a survey, conducted by the Nation Newspaper, throughout the Isarn region. Aproximately 1100 single ladies, of varying ages, were asked if they would consider marrying a farang. A high percentage - more than eighty percent - answered in the affirmative. The ladies were also asked why they would prefer to marry a farang and almost all of them replied along the lines that it would "improve their lives" or "some of their friends have a farang husband and they've got a nice house and lot's of nice appliances." Now I know that a partial survey like this is only just that, a partial survey, and it may not tell the broader picture. However, even if you extrapolate it to fifty percent of the general populace it's not very encouraging if you're a farang. You've got to give them credit at least for setting their stalls out. However, don't ever think that silly little thing called love is a primary concern, because it's not. Family and money come first and you fit in somewhere down the line. If you believe that it's something other than this then you are deluding yourself.

Now I know there's going to be a number fellows who'll come on here and tell me that I've got it wrong because they've made good choices and they aren't supporting their wives family. To you I say well done, you chose wisely. But the fact is that there's alot that don't choose wisely. And the stories we see on here, and various other Thai blogs, are a testament to that. At the end of the day though who's fault is it that the poor old naive farang gets taken to the cleaners? Well, I apportion blame to both parties; the farang for not doing his due diligence and often being in too much of a hurry to marry a tilac, and the lady for not exactly being up front about her intentions from the start. How many guys do you think would take up with a local lass if she was to come out and say right from the start that she was looking for financial support for herself, her children from marriage to a previous Thai partner, and her family back at the village. I bet you most guys, if they were informed of this right from the beginning, would be out of there fairly quickly. I'd be intersted to know what percentage of farang, in a relationship with a Thai lady, are in a mutually beneficial situation? How many have actually got a partner that helps create income? I would bet it's not many. From what I've seen it's almost always a one way flow; from you to them. The other thing to consider is how many Thai men would support his partners family and/or another mans children? I bet I know what the answer to that is as well. Don't be fooled, providing for your Thai partners family isn't your duty. It maybe something you do as a favour but don't be hoodwinked into thinking that it's something that you are culturally bound to do.

And this:

As a wise friend told me many years ago, when I first arrived in this fair land, stay single for the first two years you are here. Look around, learn and understand how things work. Don't rush into any relationship with a Thai woman and, most importantly, learn the language so that you can communicate and listen to what they're saying about you.

From what you are saying here, I can't see much difference between Thai and Farang women.

[Gonsalviz]

Because in a corrupt country, your extended family & tribe is your only loyalty, and the only ones who would give a rats arse about you on a rainy day, so when need be, screw everyone else.

Unfortunately greed almost ensure corruption is here to stay, forever.

Hear, Hear.

[ludditeman]

I know more than 1 Thai lady that can speak fluent English. None have ever worked in bars. I even asked 1 where she learned to speak English so well. She just said she paid attention in class.

I'm sure she/they only tell you the truth.

Edited October 31, 2011 by ludditeman

[outofoz]

The girls that spoke English have been rented many times before.

TLL is 90% working girls.

There is no law that says you have to support their entire families, but their children and mother doesn't cost much and makes it a fair deal.

Just exclude everyone else.

I have a similar story to the OP but I never made it to 2,3,4 and 5. That is how many I had planned to scout out.

I take care of her family in a small way. Not because they ask me for anything but because they take very good care of me and don't ask for anything. The girls that came with the equation, I consider mine.

Good ones may be hard to find if you are looking in the wrong places. And yes, there are many working girls on TLL.

nice one

[Gonsalviz]

Rent by the hour, rent by the day, rent by the month, or rent forever... as in marriage. It's still a case of value for your money. Unless you are fortunate to marry some wealthy, independent, good looking woman that is 10+ years younger then it is going to cost you something in the end... even if it is just your loss of freedom. It's your choice. Make a wise decision. There is something for everyone. As you get older your options decrease but your decisions become easier. By the time you get to retirement age you should know what you enjoy most in life, and it's a bummer if you locked yourself into some arrangement 30 years before that you would now like to get out of. I've met hundreds of miserable old sods who complain continually about their situation, but are locked in out of some sense of honour.

I am 55. My wife is 20 years younger than me. Whatever it costs me is whatever I feel it is worth. My wife and her family take care of me better than any people I have met previously. My wife controls the money and I have never seen a time that it was spent unwisely.

Now, what was your complaint?

[ludditeman]

I am 55. My wife is 20 years younger than me. Whatever it costs me is whatever I feel it is worth. My wife and her family take care of me better than any people I have met previously. My wife controls the money and I have never seen a time that it was spent unwisely.

Now, what was your complaint?

I think the point is, when you give them too much, they tend to take it then kick you out, or at least the "care" is reduced.

Alternatively, some would consider what you are buying from her devalues very quickly, in 10 years you might want a lady 30 years younger, in 20 years you might want a lady 40 years younger. When they get older, the price doesn't go down.

In Thailand when you don't buy a house and a car, you can "trade up" every 5 years at almost no extra cost.

Don't kid yourself, if you ran out of money, you would be history.

How many houses can you afford to build for a woman?

If you can afford to do it 10 times, then you have no worries.

If you can only afford to do it once or twice, you are in big trouble, she owns your arse.

PS

Don't forget to come back and tell us how it is working out for you, one year after the house is finished, and you have purchased a car in her name.

Edited October 31, 2011 by ludditeman

[outofoz]

Well you have something in common with prince Charles. he didn't know what love is either.

I think some people have misunderstood what I said about "true love" being endless.

I personally don't think "real love" is possible for most of us mere humans- too much genetic imperative involved. The only people I can think of that would have had it would be Mother Teresa, Ghandi and Jesus Christ.

I was only answering the question, "what is real love", not saying that we have it.

The bible has a good definition, but I can't be a*s*d trying to find it.

Do you mean Charles and I share Regal good looks?

Charles seems to have found his love with Camilla...late in life for sure...

[outofoz]

Rent by the hour, rent by the day, rent by the month, or rent forever... as in marriage. It's still a case of value for your money. Unless you are fortunate to marry some wealthy, independent, good looking woman that is 10+ years younger then it is going to cost you something in the end... even if it is just your loss of freedom. It's your choice. Make a wise decision. There is something for everyone. As you get older your options decrease but your decisions become easier. By the time you get to retirement age you should know what you enjoy most in life, and it's a bummer if you locked yourself into some arrangement 30 years before that you would now like to get out of. I've met hundreds of miserable old sods who complain continually about their situation, but are locked in out of some sense of honour.

I am 55. My wife is 20 years younger than me. Whatever it costs me is whatever I feel it is worth. My wife and her family take care of me better than any people I have met previously. My wife controls the money and I have never seen a time that it was spent unwisely.

Now, what was your complaint?

It's good to be happy. i hope it works for you!

[Gonsalviz]

I came to Thailand originally to take advantage of a job opportunity. I had lost my job in the US after twenty two years because the company sold the factory.

I then left Thailand when the economy here crashed and really had no idea how much the country and people had gotten in my blood until I took a job in Southern California. I absolutely hated it there.

During that last five years of my working life I decided that I would retire here in Thailand. One of the Thai engineers I worked with told me that the proper age for a wife is half your age plus seven years. He told me that the Thai people accept that.

I don't want to rain on your parade but it took me ten years to find the right woman. She was half my age plus seven years so that part worked well for me. My wife is a farm girl and came from a relatively poor family. I know she helps out her mother and father by giving each of them 500 baht a month. My wife still works on the farms although she doesn't have to. In fact I try to tell her she should quit, but she says it is her duty. Her family was lucky and had no boys, just five girls and they are all good girls so they all pitch in.

I think you have to be patient and not rush into anything until you are sure you have found the right one. That often takes time.

Cool. My wife has 1 sister that lives in BKK. No brothers. Of course after the husband took off my wife was sending back $16,000 baht pm to take care of the girls. S When she is home she works the farm also. She was working at a 5 star resort. She no longer works at my request so I take care.

The parents have a fair amount of land for poor people. I would guess at around 80 rai. Some they rent out because they cannot farm it all. I bought 20 rai more for rubber trees mostly for them to have a retirement income. They take good care of me and I help them out.

[expatdreamer]

The girls that spoke English have been rented many times before.

TLL is 90% working girls.

There is no law that says you have to support their entire families, but their children and mother doesn't cost much and makes it a fair deal.

Just exclude everyone else.

I have a similar story to the OP but I never made it to 2,3,4 and 5. That is how many I had planned to scout out.

I take care of her family in a small way. Not because they ask me for anything but because they take very good care of me and don't ask for anything. The girls that came with the equation, I consider mine.

Good ones may be hard to find if you are looking in the wrong places. And yes, there are many working girls on TLL.

Tell us more Gonsalviz, you didnt even want to meet 2 and 3 just to be sure? What happened to make you so sure?