Torn Between Two Worlds

[Will1]

I first arrived in Thailand, Patong 6 years ago,. I had plenty of money and time to enjoy life. I met a beautiful girl and bought a house.with in the first six months. And decided this was were I wanted to live. Four years went by and I now had a wife and a son, Life was great. Only being in my middle thirty's, And had not worked for four years. Money was starting to run out, I had no choice I had to go home and work. Leaving my wife and son behind, I got a job offshore and was able to come back to Thailand every few weeks. Leaving my wife alone for weeks was a big mistake!!!

The past six years have been a roller-coaster ride, And I am now a single parent living back in the UK.

[Kadafi]

what happened when you left your wife alone while you were offshore?

[travelmann]

Ok move on thanks for the story

[Beetlejuice]

This is what happens to people with a live for today and worry about tomorrow when it happens attitudes.

So what did you expect?

If you want to live the dream, first one must understand the realities.

[Will1]

If you haven't made mistakes you haven't lived. I have enjoyed My life, And I continue to do so with My son.

I just wonder how many there is out there with similar stories?

[Will1]

what happened when you left your wife alone while you were offshore?

She got lonely!!!

[Will1]

Ok move on thanks for the story

You're Welcome

[craigt3365]

Let's try this over in the Farang Pub.

Topic Moved.

[Hooters]

If you haven't made mistakes you haven't lived. I have enjoyed My life, And I continue to do so with My son.

I just wonder how many there is out there with similar stories?

Absolutely, couldnt agree more its all a part of the big picture as long as one has learned something

Your wife needs to harden up a bit IMO. Sounds like she still has a good life and its childish to carry on about it.

[expatdreamer]

We need a bit more information before we can comment

1. Why did you need to return to the UK if you had an offshore job? Did this finish - could you not get another one?

2. What happened to the house you bought - could you not sell it to raise money?

3. Was your wife a bar girl when you met her?

4. Was your move to Thailand a spur of the moment thing, or had you planned this well in advance? Four years worth of money to live on does not sound like a viable long term plan IMHO.

5. What are your plans now?

Well, at least you are now entitled to all of the benefits in the UK as a single parent, including access to a reasonable govt funded education.

[Will1]

We need a bit more information before we can comment

1. Why did you need to return to the UK if you had an offshore job? Did this finish - could you not get another one?

2. What happened to the house you bought - could you not sell it to raise money?

3. Was your wife a bar girl when you met her?

4. Was your move to Thailand a spur of the moment thing, or had you planned this well in advance? Four years worth of money to live on does not sound like a viable long term plan IMHO.

5. What are your plans now?

Well, at least you are now entitled to all of the benefits in the UK as a single parent, including access to a reasonable govt funded education.

I still work offshore in the UK sector, Also when I am working away my family help take care of my son.

I still have the house which I rent out, I am currently trying to sell it, But as you may be aware not easy.

I met her In a night club, But had my suspicion. She seemed different to the other bar girls.

Me and some friend was on our way to Australia and stop of in Thailand on the way there, And we never made it any further. The country seems to have a hold over people.

My Plans now, well. I still have a good job and I have my son he means the world to me, He give me the strength to go on. I plan to give him the best education I can find.

[expatdreamer]

We need a bit more information before we can comment

1. Why did you need to return to the UK if you had an offshore job? Did this finish - could you not get another one?

2. What happened to the house you bought - could you not sell it to raise money?

3. Was your wife a bar girl when you met her?

4. Was your move to Thailand a spur of the moment thing, or had you planned this well in advance? Four years worth of money to live on does not sound like a viable long term plan IMHO.

5. What are your plans now?

Well, at least you are now entitled to all of the benefits in the UK as a single parent, including access to a reasonable govt funded education.

I still work offshore in the UK sector, Also when I am working away my family help take care of my son.

I still have the house which I rent out, I am currently trying to sell it, But as you may be aware not easy.

I met her In a night club, But had my suspicion. She seemed different to the other bar girls.

Me and some friend was on our way to Australia and stop of in Thailand on the way there, And we never made it any further. The country seems to have a hold over people.

My Plans now, well. I still have a good job and I have my son he means the world to me, He give me the strength to go on. I plan to give him the best education I can find.

OK Thanks for the info. At least you have your son, if you read some of the other stories on this forum, you will find those whose children have been taken away from them to live in the boonies upcountry, and even threatened with being shot if they try to go and see them. And if it had been a relationship in the UK that broke down, you could have been paying large amounts of child support for a son you would have hardly seen, handed over half your assets and possibly even be paying spousal support to your ex wife - so look on the bright side.

I take it your now early 40s. I would focus on your son (like you are doing) and focus on rebuilding financially. Once your son is independent, you can look at retiring in Thailand - but perhaps get the snip before you go. A retirement visa after 50 is easy enough.

And yes, Thailand can have a hold on you - good luck !

[cgphuket]

Thailand is not Asia Disney Worlds. Reality still applies. Not working for 4 years and ran out of money? Wow, who would have saw that coming? Sorry, just tired of people coming to live here and expecting the world to then kiss their ass and everything will be handed to them.

[Jebhead]

Thailand is not Asia Disney Worlds. Reality still applies. Not working for 4 years and ran out of money? Wow, who would have saw that coming? Sorry, just tired of people coming to live here and expecting the world to then kiss their ass and everything will be handed to them.

"Thailand is not Asia Disney Worlds." - I think you'll find it probably is..........

JH

[tutsiwarrior]

I hear where the OP is coming from...I'll work for awhile and get a stake then stay at home until it's almost gone...ain't no place like like home (when we're talkin' about rural Thailand)...and I watch as the kids grow up and I can't help but impose my falang/western values to say: 'oh please stay in school and maybe go to university...we have money and we can pay...' only to be forsaken when they run off at 15 y.o. with their boy friend and then to re-appear some months later with a tiny infant in tow...

the baby is beautiful and the niece is aglow with motherhood and I am torn between two worlds...

[Will1]

Thailand is not Asia Disney Worlds. Reality still applies. Not working for 4 years and ran out of money? Wow, who would have saw that coming? Sorry, just tired of people coming to live here and expecting the world to then kiss their ass and everything will be handed to them.

To be fair I probably wouldn't of stayed living in Thailand anyway. Its not Disney world when you live there, It can actually be the opposite. I will continue to visit for short periods of time in the future.

[loveulongtime]

The country seems to have a hold over people.

I know blokes that work in the oil and gas sector, and live in thailand between jobs.. 1 bloke has been married twice and has a couple of kids... lucky he is minted.

I think the main problem is guys that goto thailand and get easy sex with no condom think its love when it isnt. The girl they have met has probably shagged 100 guys before them and spun the usual bullcrap, 'I love u', 'I miss u'.

Met her in a disco, a bar, there is no difference....not in thailand.

[Will1]

The country seems to have a hold over people.

I know blokes that work in the oil and gas sector, and live in thailand between jobs.. 1 bloke has been married twice and has a couple of kids... lucky he is minted.

I think the main problem is guys that goto thailand and get easy sex with no condom think its love when it isnt. The girl they have met has probably shagged 100 guys before them and spun the usual bullcrap, 'I love u', 'I miss u'.

Met her in a disco, a bar, there is no difference....not in thailand.

Yeah, I agree but surely some people change. I always thought the girls only do that because they need money and that was easy money. But when you give someone the opportunity to have a comfortable life, And they turn it down to go back to it. I don't understand and will never.

Leaving her alone for weeks, I guess she got used to being alone. Hard to hold down a relationship while working offshore.

[Fookhaht]

I just wonder how many there is out there with similar stories?

Well, let's put it this way: If I had a penny for every story like this I've read on ThaiVisa.....

Sadly, using a simple "search" function on TV, you'll discover a host of bedfellows.

Edited November 20, 2011 by Fookhaht

[Fookhaht]

The country seems to have a hold over people.

The girl they have met has probably shagged 100 guys before them and spun the usual bullcrap, 'I love u', 'I miss u'.

...don't forget the sick buffaloes back at home in Isaan that need medicine . . .

[Fookhaht]

The OP, through no fault of his own, seems so disillusioned and even a bit naive amongst us more-jaded expat posters. At least he doesn't seem bitter, which I can't say for the rest of us.

Who needs the bull-whip more?

Edited November 20, 2011 by Fookhaht

[Will1]

The OP, through no fault of his own, seems so disillusioned and even a bit naive amongst us more-jaded expat posters. At least he doesn't seem bitter, which I can't say for the rest of us.

Who needs the bull-whip more?

I don't expect anything from anyone, Learnt that years ago. I am still late 3os and still have a little more time on my side than others on this forum.

[loveulongtime]

But when you give someone the opportunity to have a comfortable life, And they turn it down to go back to it. I don't understand and will never.

Thats an interesting comment....

I guess once you go through the bar BS! with your first thai bar lady, then the real thailand slaps you in the face and gives you a reality check.

Most girls in the bar dont want to leave thailand and most dont want to leave the bar.... thats the way it is, and for some farang its hard to imagine... The white night in shining armour bullshit routine!

I tried exactly this a number of years ago, at the end of the day the girls dont want to leave the family.

When you think about it makes perfect sense.. family is number 1, anything else does not matter.

When you travel to ISAAN and similar places, if all you had was a shack and some rice fields, and if you were the lady having to take care of mum, dad, brother etc, of course you would want to stay near them, have a few farang boyfriends sending money and stay in the bar.

Makes perfect sense to me.

[Berkshire]

She seemed different to the other bar girls.

This is probably the most common quote I've seen/heard from farangs in Thailand. There should be a book written with that title.

Of course, this one gets an honorable mention....

I don't understand and will never.

[MaiChai]

Put it behind you and move on? You will get good money working offshore and you have plenty of life left in you to make a new life. Whats the problem?

Probably you need to find something that makes you buzz and make life worthwhile? Think of all the other people who are not as lucky as you? Could be worse, you could be broke, no hope of making any money again, or even worse lost your marbles? Sounds like you are feeling sorry for yourself? Or maybe you need us to feel sorry for you?

I would not take anything about Thailand seriously. Better your safe, stable and NHS UK? You can always visit Thailand for holidays whenever you want? Anyway, I love the UK; only the weather is a big miserable, but then you can always go on holiday? I would choose the UK any day? I mean you can watch the X Factor every week

Edited November 21, 2011 by MaiChai

[Will1]

Put it behind you and move on? You will get good money working offshore and you have plenty of life left in you to make a new life. Whats the problem?

Probably you need to find something that makes you buzz and make life worthwhile? Think of all the other people who are not as lucky as you? Could be worse, you could be broke, no hope of making any money again, or even worse lost your marbles? Sounds like you are feeling sorry for yourself? Or maybe you need us to feel sorry for you?

I would not take anything about Thailand seriously. Better your safe, stable and NHS UK? You can always visit Thailand for holidays whenever you want? Anyway, I love the UK; only the weather is a big miserable, but then you can always go on holiday? I would choose the UK any day? I mean you can watch the X Factor every week

Good advise, Not sure about the X Factor part?

[loveulongtime]

Put it behind you and move on

I would not take anything about Thailand seriously.

If only all farang could do this....

I have lost count of the amount of guys I have met who cant up and leave Thailand, they would rather be broke and poor and live worse than some Thai's....

In pattaya some white dude on the street going around asking for 100 thb from random people everyday. He ask me 2 days in a row... lol

I have had farang ask me for a loan, I would rather give my money to a thai begger on the street, at least the farang has a choice to leave.

The bars, the girls will always be there, waiting to rip you off

[Will1]

Put it behind you and move on

I would not take anything about Thailand seriously.

If only all farang could do this....

I have lost count of the amount of guys I have met who cant up and leave Thailand, they would rather be broke and poor and live worse than some Thai's....

In pattaya some white dude on the street going around asking for 100 thb from random people everyday. He ask me 2 days in a row... lol

I have had farang ask me for a loan, I would rather give my money to a thai begger on the street, at least the farang has a choice to leave.

The bars, the girls will always be there, waiting to rip you off

Yeah, Some of us seem to leave our brains at the airport. I would be Interested to know what exactly It Is, That pulls us In.

[MAJIC]

Thailand is not Asia Disney Worlds. Reality still applies. Not working for 4 years and ran out of money? Wow, who would have saw that coming? Sorry, just tired of people coming to live here and expecting the world to then kiss their ass and everything will be handed to them.

"just tired of people coming to live here and expecting the world to then kiss their ass and everything will be handed to them"

Well one thing is certain it will not be Thailand that they can expect anything handed to them...........only the checkbin!

Edited November 22, 2011 by MAJIC

[mallyrd]

Thailand is not Asia Disney Worlds. Reality still applies. Not working for 4 years and ran out of money? Wow, who would have saw that coming? Sorry, just tired of people coming to live here and expecting the world to then kiss their ass and everything will be handed to them.

Such arrogance, just how long have you lived here and what makes you an expert on people coming to live here. Of course your grammar could be so bad that you perhaps are referring to the UK when you talk of being "just tired of people coming to live here....". I think this is where you went wrong.