Paddy Irishman

[elsie]

Paddy and Murphy went to London.

After walking in the city centre for few minutes, Paddy turns to Murphy with

a look of amazement on his face and says: "Murphy, will you have a look at

that shop over there. I thought that London was supposed to be expensive but

that shop is as cheap as chips, so it is."

Murphy says: "Paddy you're right so you are, will you have a look at that.

Suits £5, Shirts £2 and Trousers £2. I think that we should buy a job lot

and take them back to Ireland. We would make a tidy profit selling them in

Dublin so we would."

Paddy says in agreement: "Murphy that is as good an idea as you'll ever

have, but I'm pretty sure that you have to pay taxes and duty on things like

that. The shopkeeper will never let us have them if he thinks that we're

gonna export them and make our fortune, so he won't."

Murphy thinks and says: "Paddy, I've got idea! You can do the best English

accent out of the pair of us. You go in there and do the talking and I'll

just stand behind you and say nothing. He'll never guess we're Irish so he

won't."

"OK Murphy", agrees Paddy, "I'll do the talking, you just stand there and

look English. "So the two visitors to our illustrious capital city go into

the shop where Paddy is greeted politely by the owner. Paddy then proceeds

to do his best Phil Mitchell impression; "Awwwight Guvnor, I'll 'ave 20 of

yer Whistle 'n Flutes, 20 Dickie Dirts and 20 pairs of strides. And if yer

don't mind I'll be paying with the 380 Pictures of the Queen from my Sky

Rocket."

Upon hearing this request from Paddy, the owner smiles, takes a look at

Murphy as well then asks Paddy "You're Irish aren't you?" Quite bemused,

Paddy replies, "Oh be'Jesus. Mary mother of Christ, if that isn't my best

English accent. How in God's name did you know that we were Irish?" The

Owner replies ..... "cos this is a Dry Cleaners"

[lovejoy]

lovelycutie,i am taking this as a personal attack on me

just you wait..................

[elsie]

lovelycutie,i am taking this as a personal attack on me

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wrong thread. It's this one that you should take as a personal attack.

[elsie]

Paddy is looking very miserable, so one of his friends goes up to him to see what is wrong.

"What's wrong Paddy?" asks the friend.

"It's a bad day for my family," says Paddy, "I've just heard that my father died this morning."

Naturally the friend is very sympathetic, and tries to console Paddy. Then the phone rings and Paddy goes to answer it. When he comes back he is looking even more upset and the tears are streaming down his cheeks.

"What's wrong now paddy?" asks the friend.

"This truly is a bad day for my family," he replies, "That was my brother on the phone, and HIS father has died too!"

[elsie]

Paddy rang Aer Lingus and asked how long it took to fly from Dublin to London.

"Just a minute sir," said the girl on the desk.

"Thank you," said Paddy and hung up.