The Crazy Ex Gf - What To Do?

[forumuser10]

A smiliar thing happened to me, good thing was, I was just about to move to a new address anyway. So yes, I moved away from the problem

[h90]

Insist on security not allowing her access for a start.

And that insist will work best with 500 Baht (for day shift and night shift so total 1000)+ cigarets + Krating Deng + picture of her + they should call you if she tries to go in and you'll be very grateful (means more money)+they should record everything (if they have the cameras).

If there is more security staff...throw around more money....

Sounds excessive? If she knocks herself+some blood runs in the hospital and makes up a dramatic story, from beating, even try to rape etc etc it will cost you much more.

If you have free time....even take holidays somewhere far away till she cools down. (but still do the security thing and stay somewhere where they keep records).

[GreenSnapper]

A smiliar thing happened to me, good thing was, I was just about to move to a new address anyway. So yes, I moved away from the problem

And? When she finds out your new address, you move again?

You had better leave the country immediately and go home. And when Mom asks you: "what happened?" you tell her, "there was a woman who banged at my door".

[Semper]

A smiliar thing happened to me, good thing was, I was just about to move to a new address anyway. So yes, I moved away from the problem

And? When she finds out your new address, you move again?

You had better leave the country immediately and go home. And when Mom asks you: "what happened?" you tell her, "there was a woman who banged at my door".

[forumuser10]

A smiliar thing happened to me, good thing was, I was just about to move to a new address anyway. So yes, I moved away from the problem

And? When she finds out your new address, you move again?

Why would she do that?

[HardenedSoul]

why would someone have passwords for their gf accounts, ??

Why not? Loads of couples can access their partners' emails etc. In the OP's case, maybe she logged on to her Facebook or web-nased emails from his computer and the passwords were saved.

Jeez, you guys really don't have a clue, do you ?

And as for the guy who reckons that no Thai will ever help with the OP's problems, how the f""k does he know that? Can he speak for every single Thai. My God, the ignorance is breathtaking

[wxyz]

reminds me of my Scottish bloke in Singapore, he was working there and when his wife would go back to Scotland he had a Philippine girl move in with him, when he told me what he did,

i said, it is easy to get them in, hard to get them out

good luck

like i told the mamasan when she said i should take 2 girls

i laughed and said, sometimes one is TOO many

she laughed and said, you've been married

Edited December 9, 2011 by wxyz

[JohnnyFeelIt]

She thinks she can get away with it because shes Thai and your a Westerner, she wouldn't have dared carrying on like that with a Thai guy purely for that reason. Oh and he'd likely open the door and nock her clean out.

Her line of thinking.. 'how dare the farang <deleted> me off'...

If I were you, I'd contact one of her friends and let them know how shes behaving, and never answer the phone or door to her again. She'll soon calm down when she realise's shes only making herself lose more face amongst her peers by carrying on like this.

[nocturn]

"Leave shoes at the door", "move to another apartment".....

My god, are there only wimps here? You cannot even handle a borderline chick?

I'm always surprised how deep western men can fall....

You would have to be seriously disturbed to take on a female Thai national.

Come to think of it, you would have to be seriously disturbed to confront a woman looking for trouble in any country.

Police generally believe the woman, not the man. Why seek out any trouble.

Whatever the outcome of the confrontation, it would be your fault and you would end up paying.

Moving is quick, cheap and easy.

you forgot cowardly.

I have known some nutters in my 16 years in thailand, and not once have i considered moving my home to escape the consequences of a poor relationship choice.

merely suggesting it is pathetic.

[anon345535]

people suggesting you should move? lol

these security guys have a boss. find him/her and tell him/her to tell them to do their f_cking jobs.

also completely ignore her. use headphones to watch tv etc.

[Thongkorn]

people suggesting you should move? lol

these security guys have a boss. find him/her and tell him/her to tell them to do their f_cking jobs.

also completely ignore her. use headphones to watch tv etc.

you don't know a lot about Thailand and its People really do you.

[HardenedSoul]

people suggesting you should move? lol

these security guys have a boss. find him/her and tell him/her to tell them to do their f_cking jobs.

also completely ignore her. use headphones to watch tv etc.

you don't know a lot about Thailand and its People really do you.

Nor, apparently, do you.

Thais, in general, prefer not to "get involved" unless 1) they have no choice or 2) their actions or inactions simply cannot remain hush-hush - the JP's failure to follow their f***ing job description is one instance where this applies.

The simplest answer is usually the most effective so just because your experience of going through the landlord and the Feds didn't work out doesn't mean others will have a similar lack of results. The last thing a Thai landlord wants to do is lose a consistently-paying tenant especially in the current economic climate. Ok, granted there is a remote possibility that making an official record of his dissatisfaction with his condo's security won't work in the OP's favour but, to be honest, it's a secondary point. The idea is to give him the right to defend himself and the property he's responsible for by way of his rental contract by forcibly removing her.

If push comes to shove, then, on the day he physically ejects her, it can be shown that she had no business being in the building. Get it ?!

If she was gonna have the OP ironed out by the local Thai rentamob, it'd would've happened already. Most Thai men are fully aware of how unhinged their women can be so it's unlikely he'll end up in a canal or face deportation as some of you seem to believe.

Bros up, hoes down !

[Sharp]

If it was me I would move regardless wether I just moved in or not cant be worth the bother

I did it and it worked a treat no hassle for the last 4 yrs although I still see her location is everything

Good luck

[NCFC]

I know the password for the accounts and her dad doesnt speak much english. Not sure whats weird about that.

The weird thing is that you ask questions here on a internet forum about your personal gf problems. Better you ask your parents what to do.

Can't you figure out that there's a better chance of many of the forum members understanding Thai women and Thai culture than the guy's parents, who likely live far away and have never even been here? Perhaps some day you'll need some advise from a member here who has an intimate knowledge of Thai situations, and I bet you won't appreciate snide comments like yours.

It's more relevant to make your type of comment to the many people that ask for technical (computer, internet, etc.) support rather than using Google, where there are many experts willing to help.

These type of snide and immature remarks are the biggest reason I rarely post anything here.

But on to why this poor guy has asked for help. I agree with the advise to make yourself invisible to her -- keep your shoes inside and don't answer the door unless you know it's someone you welcome or expect. Perhaps a gift or some cash to the security staff (or the manager) would sway them to cooperate and tell the b-atch to take a hike. If she strikes out enough times trying to see you, it's likely that she'll fade away.

(Speaking to the manager would probably be enough in our cultures to do the trick, but TIT, so a bit of bribe may be necessary.)

[With their one liners and and weak attempts at smart-ass humor some posters prove themselves to be nothing better than simpletons time and time again !]

On Topic:

I disagree with the bribe part. The Op bribes the staff and they let the Ex past again, what does he do? I think bribing in this situation shows weakness and will not be respected. It also sets a precedent whereby if anything happens you will pay up !

IMO - This is an occasion where raising your voice might work (Not screaming and hollering). Ask the manager to be present, tell the security guards that in no uncertain terms is it acceptable to let your Ex in. (They don't need to understand you fully, they just need to understand that you are very annoyed about something, the Manager can explain the rest !)...

By doing this you are placing the security guards in a situation they don't want to repeat.

Disagree 100%

If you start raising your voice to the security guards then you will turn them against you and they will probably take the side of your ex-gf . You will end up with more enemies than before. Also talking with the father won't help as he is bound to take his daughter's side. The security guards are you best hope. Don't give them cash, buy them some nice khanom and tell them what you want. They will take care of it. When the problem is over a cheap bottle of whisky will be appreciated. Giving money is too crude. Something expensive is not neccessary. A small token gift is enough.

[theblether]

I know the password for the accounts and her dad doesnt speak much english. Not sure whats weird about that.

The weird thing is that you ask questions here on a internet forum about your personal gf problems. Better you ask your parents what to do.

Can't you figure out that there's a better chance of many of the forum members understanding Thai women and Thai culture than the guy's parents, who likely live far away and have never even been here? Perhaps some day you'll need some advise from a member here who has an intimate knowledge of Thai situations, and I bet you won't appreciate snide comments like yours.

It's more relevant to make your type of comment to the many people that ask for technical (computer, internet, etc.) support rather than using Google, where there are many experts willing to help.

These type of snide and immature remarks are the biggest reason I rarely post anything here.

But on to why this poor guy has asked for help. I agree with the advise to make yourself invisible to her -- keep your shoes inside and don't answer the door unless you know it's someone you welcome or expect. Perhaps a gift or some cash to the security staff (or the manager) would sway them to cooperate and tell the b-atch to take a hike. If she strikes out enough times trying to see you, it's likely that she'll fade away.

(Speaking to the manager would probably be enough in our cultures to do the trick, but TIT, so a bit of bribe may be necessary.)

Lets get real for a minute! if anyone comes to Thai Visa with these sorts of questions then it's pretty obviously they have no idea about relationships. having his girlfriends passwords is proof of this. Generally speaking, if you look for problems you find them.

Interesting thing is he can maybe read his Gf's Thai messages but cannot speak it? or is she chasing another farang?

The idea that he is going to find a solution from like minded forum members proves that he is not alone as far a those that have no idea about relationships. having some common sense might help, but that would be too easy, better to come on TV and air your dirty laundry in public, where we can all have a laugh

To be fair your right, however the Op has been good entertainment with some of his topics in the past. He's very good at causing a stir

[theblether]

Get yourself a sheep. Next time she comes around open the door with a stonking hard-on and the sheep spread-eagled on the bed. That might put her off.

Or she could be of Thai/Kiwi parentage and you may end up with a 'threesome'

Is that not the perfect night out in Aberdeen?

[Dararasmi]

From my experience, nothing makes a cuckoo ex disappear quicker than being ignored. Stop taking the bait.

[KeyserSoze01]

Here's a solution for the OP.

Sit her down and very calmly tell her that if she doesn't leave you alone, you are going to hijack her facebook and email accounts and send all of her friends and family an email apologizing to them because she has discovered she has a STD... She had to contact everyone because she doesn't remember who she has slept with and needed to warn everyone. That should get rid of her.

[MarleyMarl]

I know the password for the accounts and her dad doesnt speak much english. Not sure whats weird about that.

The weird thing is that you ask questions here on a internet forum about your personal gf problems. Better you ask your parents what to do.

I doubt the parents have delt with any kind of madness which is a Thai girl. I had exactly the same problem, but more extreme with the girl cheating and smoking meth in my bathroom! I even had a new girlfriend move in to live with me 8 months after I broke up with my ex-gf but she still persist on coming around so was forced to change condo. One night I went to the security because she forced herself into the room and I couldnt get her out, the security wouldn't do anything.

Even after my landlord told the security not to let her or her car, the useless security still kept letting her in. Honestly they're useless.

Best bet is to go away on holiday, buy a lock thing to put over your door handle with pad lock and hopefully she doesn't come around and call a lock smith, talk with your landlord, they will try to help as much as possible because they want you to keep being a tenant. If you have a good thai friend, make a complaint to the police too.

[Derifo]

I experienced exactly that with my first gf here and with the one I got married to. Just move now, or it won't end well.

[Derifo]

I know the password for the accounts and her dad doesnt speak much english. Not sure whats weird about that.

The weird thing is that you ask questions here on a internet forum about your personal gf problems. Better you ask your parents what to do.

I doubt the parents have delt with any kind of madness which is a Thai girl. I had exactly the same problem, but more extreme with the girl cheating and smoking meth in my bathroom! I even had a new girlfriend move in to live with me 8 months after I broke up with my ex-gf but she still persist on coming around so was forced to change condo. One night I went to the security because she forced herself into the room and I couldnt get her out, the security wouldn't do anything.

Even after my landlord told the security not to let her or her car, the useless security still kept letting her in. Honestly they're useless.

Best bet is to go away on holiday, buy a lock thing to put over your door handle with pad lock and hopefully she doesn't come around and call a lock smith, talk with your landlord, they will try to help as much as possible because they want you to keep being a tenant. If you have a good thai friend, make a complaint to the police too.

I've had to start all over four times here. The same girl took all my stuff twice with the help of the landlord and neighbors. How did she know I bought everything just after one week of robbing me? The neighbors called her.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Insist on security not allowing her access for a start.

Moving is definitely the best and easiest, if it costs you a lot out of pocket you should be renting cheaper anyway. Going on holiday for a while's also good. Never mind about Dad, what's he going to do about it?

If not I agree with the others about slipping him a couple of hundred a week being a bribe or showing weakness. Just normally customary to pay for services rendered, he's not paid squat in the first place to have to put up with any kind of hassle. Even better would be to be friendly, buy snacks and meals, should be SOP anyway from the beginning, same with the desk clerks etc, just smart building of relationships, it's the obligation of the higher to take care of the lower, then when the upper needs support it's there.

Be careful about the other woman scenario, could escalate things and then you're dealing with two crazies - only if you know a strong clever older woman willing to dish it out - but then you have to deal with *her* 8-).

Same cautions with a "connected" Thai guy, unless he's already an actual friend, would end up being simpler and cheaper just to move.

One of my ex's threatened to plant yabaa in my bags and sic her friends the cops on me. I went down to the local cop shop and explained the situation and they assured me not to worry about it, that they'd never listen to a crazy Isaan buffalo anyway. She eventually got tired of hassling me and got another sugar daddy. . .

================

For all those talking like moving is a big deal I say <deleted> - you should learn to live lighter.

If you really want a permanent "home" the best strategy is actually to NEVER bring ANY girl back there. Keep a low-rent room at least ten bus stops away and park the honey there, shouldn't cost you more than 3 or 4 K a month extra.

That way when the "relationship" starts to go sour - as of course it will - you can just open up a new flat ten stops away in the other direction, get the new honey settled in for a while so you're sure she's a keeper, *then* cut the new one loose.

Never give your actual residential location to any system with a computer, use a maildrop for Immigration and bills, get a Thai to put their name on the phone cable Internet stuff that's actually tied to the residence.

Of **course** they're always looking for the next better sponsor, if not actually stringing several along at the same time! That's just normal strategy for any Thai girl, the higher class the cleverer she is about it. The only way to avoid that is to learn Thai well enough so that you can travel upcountry and buy yourself one with zero experience straight off the rice farm - but of course she's have to be say 14 or 15 these days - and never teach her any English, don't let her near any computer don't let her make any friends. And few people would be willing to go to THAT much trouble.

Edited December 11, 2011 by BigJohnnyBKK

[BOS2BKK]

Do not accept this from your security guards. Your building manager should speak enough English. Tear her/him a new one.

IF your ex does manage to enter the building again, do no open your door to her. Video her behavior. Call security. Do not answer her phone calls. She will get tired of this behavior.

The main cause of her behavior is probably her indignation that you could so easily walk away from her, she probably thinks she is the 'all deserving princess' and how dare you discard her !

Forget about talking with her father, it's unlikely he'll believe anything you say once your Ex has manipulated her way out of the situation. All this would do is escalate a situation.

It seems as though you are doing the correct things already. Nutty Ex's are common everywhere, you just have to bide your time until the situation dilutes itself...

I had a similar problem. My ex was using my apartment while I was away at work. There is not alot you can do about it because Thia people are so averse to confrontation. As long as the story she conveys to the security guards is plausible, Thai culture forbids them from accusing her of lying.

And if you haven't figured it out yet for yourself I will let you in on a secret. Concepts like "truth", "proper actions" and "justified" are very relative in Thailand. A bold faced lie from the mouth of a Thai carry's more weight than gospel truth backed by evidence when it comes from a farang. Thais will seldom side with the Farang unless they can make money off it in some way (enter the police)

It is also highly likely the male security guards think you are a wimp, because any Thai man would just beat the crap out of this girl. At one point I called security to wait while I got some clothes out of my apartment after my girlfriend (now ex) tried to stab me. The security guard laughed in my face and told me (in a more polite way of course) if I was a real man I would be able to protect myself from a woman. I know you said you couldn't afford it, but having been through this myself I can tell you. Your only options are to ride it out until she gets bored and moves on, or change apartments.

Edited December 11, 2011 by BOS2BKK

[sydneyjed]

I know the password for the accounts and her dad doesnt speak much english. Not sure whats weird about that.

The weird thing is that you ask questions here on a internet forum about your personal gf problems. Better you ask your parents what to do.

Can't you figure out that there's a better chance of many of the forum members understanding Thai women and Thai culture than the guy's parents, who likely live far away and have never even been here? Perhaps some day you'll need some advise from a member here who has an intimate knowledge of Thai situations, and I bet you won't appreciate snide comments like yours.

It's more relevant to make your type of comment to the many people that ask for technical (computer, internet, etc.) support rather than using Google, where there are many experts willing to help.

These type of snide and immature remarks are the biggest reason I rarely post anything here.

But on to why this poor guy has asked for help. I agree with the advise to make yourself invisible to her -- keep your shoes inside and don't answer the door unless you know it's someone you welcome or expect. Perhaps a gift or some cash to the security staff (or the manager) would sway them to cooperate and tell the b-atch to take a hike. If she strikes out enough times trying to see you, it's likely that she'll fade away.

(Speaking to the manager would probably be enough in our cultures to do the trick, but TIT, so a bit of bribe may be necessary.)

You need to sling the security guys for starters...Then the condo manager if that doesn't work....Don't get her family or the police involved!!

[BOS2BKK]

Here's a solution for the OP.

Sit her down and very calmly tell her that if she doesn't leave you alone, you are going to hijack her facebook and email accounts and send all of her friends and family an email apologizing to them because she has discovered she has a STD... She had to contact everyone because she doesn't remember who she has slept with and needed to warn everyone. That should get rid of her.

Hahaha I actually did this. Even included naked pics of her. In the end it accomplished nothing, but it made me feel better.

[Sydebolle]

Wondering why she has a second chap shagging her as you apparently dont support her financially. If she is a keeper then enjoy her while it lasts.

[spidermike007]

Bride the security guards. That is what they are there for. A few hundred baht each, and she will never been seen at your door again.

Or move. That is a small price to pay for peace of mind.

Or leave town for awhile. Thwarted Thai women have short attention spans. She will forget soon.

Cause her to lose face. Definitely call her mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, aunts, uncles, brothers, etc. Embarrass the hell out of her, and she will go away. It is all about face here. Hire an interpreter if you need to.

Be more careful next time. Did you make a lot of promises you could not keep? Did you bhagwan (sweet mouth) her to death? Take your time next time, getting to know someone. The old adage "If it is good, if is only going to get

better over time, and it there are issues, they are going to reveal themselves over time" really applies here in Thailand. What is the hurry? Why give her an access key or pass? What was the point of that?

[JRinger]

Get yourself a sheep. Next time she comes around open the door with a stonking hard-on and the sheep spread-eagled on the bed. That might put her off.

Thai's the most ridiculous comment I've heard....Where does one find a sheep in the middle of Bangkok?

Why not get a friend to start dating her?

Edited December 11, 2011 by JRinger

[ludditeman]

Why give her an access key or pass? What was the point of that?

He didn't!

Read the post!

[WhiteTrash]

Grow some balls