Why Do Some (Most) Thai People Don'T Like To Ask, If They Don'T Know Something?

[bifftastic]

The best response to questions that I've asked in Thailand was in a local travel agents in Chiang Saen (way up in the north of Chiang Rai).

Some friends of ours had come up for our wedding and they wanted to spend the last week of their visit in Samui.

Off we went into town to ask the travel agents. The first shop directed us to the second shop (1st shop couldn't help, only bus tours).

The young girl in the second shop panicked when 4 farang walked in, she ran upstairs. After a few minutes a slightly older guy came down.

I asked him, in Thai, if he could arrange the tickets for my friend's trip. He smiled and said yes, now he's on his computer and asks if we want to take the bus to Bangkok. No thank you, I said, they want to fly.

No problem, says he, fly to Bangkok, then bus and boat to Samui.

Errr, no. They want to fly from Bangkok to Samui please, I said.

Ok ok, he clicks away at this computer, starts looking a bit worried, makes a phone call, clicks away a bit more, asks me if I'm sure they don't want to take the bus.

No, no thank you, no bus, they don't like buses.

The final answer he came up with was... (now please bear in mind that all of us who had walked into his shop had all previously flown to Samui from Bangkok).

"So sorry, Samui doesn't have an airport!"

I thanked him and we walked out before I told my friends what he had said!

[Berkshire]

There are two aspects to the Asian concept of face. (the idea is common in Asia, not only Thailand).

One, which many foriegers seem to understand, is not embarressing yourself by admitting you don't understand.

The other, and an equally valid part, is not asking another person a question which might force that other person to have to admit that they didn't know the answer to your question. That way you avoid embarressing them.

A poster here on this topic showed you how to correctly ask a question requiring information.

That poster said...if you want to know the directions to XXXXX....first you ask,"Have you ever been to XXXXX?".

If the answer to that question is "Yes", then you ask. "What route did you use to go there,then?".

Find a way to frame your questions like that....and you can get information.

Allow an Asian the privaledge of helping you, and thank him or her for that help allowing THEM to gain face by helping you.

That's how it's done. YOU empower THEM, so you get your desired answer.

In Asian cultures, direct confrontation is to be avoided. Face.

While I agree with you that there are distinct cultural differences between Asia and the west, the OP was more about the "asking" as opposed to the "answering." I've been around many Thais and they typically have no problem whatsoever asking another stranger (Thai) a question. I've seen it time and time again. As I've said before, my GF has no problem asking anyone anything, so this seems to be at odds with other farangs here...or are they just trying to find differences? And if there are differences, are the reasons always sinister? We know that in the west, men are much more likely than women to drive around hopelessly lost rather than asking someone for directions. Does this make men less curious (as some here are suggesting)? One problem that I do see is that Thai customer service reps would have a tendency to give me an answer even if they didn't know the answer. I'd prefer an "I don't know" as opposed to the wrong answer. But again, the OP is about Thais refusing to ask questions, which I vehemently disagree with.

[toybits]

Ahhhh difficult, wery wery difficult. You have to be Asian to undersatan.

[cbc]

5555.How long have you been in thailand lol ?Not trying to be smart as i have the same problem when shopping in bkk with a friend.The reason is saving face !They don't want to admit they don't know something.That's it......a common thing with all thais.

[transam]

5555.How long have you been in thailand lol ?Not trying to be smart as i have the same problem when shopping in bkk with a friend.The reason is saving face !They don't want to admit they don't know something.That's it......a common thing with all thais.

+1, some are learning something with this thread.

[blackpoolbob]

You know it's not only Thailand, or Asia… try Africa….Anywhere where some people feel the only power they have is saving face, or looking knowledgeable.It's all some people have in this world and the chance to look or be taken as someone knowing more than the person asking the question. In Thailand it's ingrained on the Thai way of thinking. Look at the education system…..It tells everyoneThai that they are the dogs dangly bits, but does nothing to educate them. Here in Thailand not to know something is a sign of weakness, so, in most cases any old BS will work as calling someone out on their crap is bad form, and not the Thai way…….And the show rolls on. The funny thing is they know they are bull shitters, my GF does it when I ask a question and she doesn't know the answer……..Very funny, I just look at her and smile, she will just keep digging deeper, even knowing I've found her out…Poor girl……I will push it, so now she's learnt not to try with the BS answers. She has said a few times now, "I don't know" and laughs, but I think it hurts her a little to go against an accepted line of BS!

Agreed, My GF is from Bangkok and I have spend a lot of time in Chiang Mai over maybe the last 6 years, recently I bought a place there and was up checking on the building progress. GF decided to fly up for a visit which was great.

She had never been before but within a day was telling me where to go what we should do etc - quite funny as She had no idea where She was.

I just do not think it is Thai nor perhaps Asian culture to say "I don't know"

[maxme]

There is a difference in this. Thai's do have hopes and dreams and physically they are ready for it but not mentally. The education, environment and culture they have been raised in doesn´t encourage strong mentality and thus the will fades and insecurity grows.

Even the most high-paid doctors or actors here break down easily because they dont have enough of a strong mind.

[Cnxforever]

Hi

I`ve noticed it and often wondered why the reluctance to ask.

The person asking loosing face because he / she has to ask - and the person asked might loose face if he / she does not have an answer! It is always about "face" in Thailand.

Ask for directions and if the person you ask does not know the way you broke his face. He /she will also point you in the wrong direction just to avoid loosing face.

Edited January 12, 2012 by Cnxforever

[true blue]

got 2 admit,i was always confused,when i use to ask thai wife,to ask directions to something in supermarket from assistant,she use to freeze,and go in to her shell,and i use to ask 3 or 4 times the same request,feel a plonker now after reading topic,live and learn(tit).

[Berkshire]

got 2 admit,i was always confused,when i use to ask thai wife,to ask directions to something in supermarket from assistant,she use to freeze,and go in to her shell,and i use to ask 3 or 4 times the same request,feel a plonker now after reading topic,live and learn(tit).

I'm really starting to get the picture here. Most farangs in Thailand seem to have GFs/wives who are uneducated, peasant farmgirls with an inferiority complex. From what you guys are saying, they appear to be afraid of their own shadows, let alone a live Thai person. And being with a farang doesn't help matters as it draws attention to their inherent inferiority.

Again, I've yet to meet a Thai person who was afraid to ask another Thai person a question. My Thai GF certainly doesn't have this fear. Not in the least. Even when she doesn't need to ask someone a question, she will. Maybe it's a parallel universe I'm currently occupying...who knows.

[StreetCowboy]

got 2 admit,i was always confused,when i use to ask thai wife,to ask directions to something in supermarket from assistant,she use to freeze,and go in to her shell,and i use to ask 3 or 4 times the same request,feel a plonker now after reading topic,live and learn(tit).

I'm really starting to get the picture here. Most farangs in Thailand seem to have GFs/wives who are uneducated, peasant farmgirls with an inferiority complex. From what you guys are saying, they appear to be afraid of their own shadows, let alone a live Thai person. And being with a farang doesn't help matters as it draws attention to their inherent inferiority.

...

Oh - now I feel really left out.

To be honest, the issue of asking questions, as I mentioned earlier, is something that I have noticed at work in Thailand and elsewhere; in fact, perhaps everywhere.

I concur with the reasons given by others; those are amongst the reasons that I don't ask questions. And also because I had the habit of asking smart-arse questions beaten out of my as a young lad (figuratively speaking).

The reasons people ask questions, or don't ask questions, are the same the world over, but different people have different levels of timidity and fear of embarrassment and curiousity, and the averages vary from culture to culture.

SC

[Berkshire]

The reasons people ask questions, or don't ask questions, are the same the world over, but different people have different levels of timidity and fear of embarrassment and curiousity, and the averages vary from culture to culture.

SC

I agree with this statement 100%. It's really more to do with shyness or self-confidence rather than culture or the "face thing." Thais are certainly less confrontational, but that's nothing to do with asking questions.

[salavan]

silly man didn't you know you have to pay your girlfriend to ask for you

[zzaa09]

There's a special kind of smile Thai's use, which I call the polite bullshit smile. Two Thais can have a conversation, they are both lying to one another, and they both know each other is lying; but lie they do. I think it's fascinating. My Mrs asks sends me to ask for directions somewhere new or where to find stuff; I'm farang so immune from the old oriental face game.

Merry wan chritmutt.

GFL.

Body-language is everything here.

And being able to decipher is to one's advantage - good, bad, or indifferent.