Is Learning Thai Unattractive To Thai Girls?

[ObsessiveAddict]

Does anyone else think that it is unattractive when you are first trying to learn thai? Saying stupid things in their language and pretty much making a fool of yourself :s

Think about it..when you speak english all they really understand (sure most of them know a bit of english, easy to make small talk) but when your speak fast or telling a story, all they really pick up on is a few words and your tone of voice. when you acctually start speaking poor thai, they judge you in a whole different way.

These are just my silly thoughts I have. Im learning thai and am not going to stop

[Beechboy]

I know what you mean. I spent a considerable amount of time learning Thai, mostly from tape on a personal level. I started to use it with caution and was even complimented once for my prowess.

However, conversations were never easy and there were too many occasions when I could not be understood and had to resort to English.

I hardly use it now, except in shops, taxis etc. when necessary

One of the drawbacks was that I never had to use it in my working situation in Bkk. If it had been necessary I would have persevered.Neither have I ever been for long in a situation where English is little known.

I understand it better than I speak it. This can be very useful at times and I've leant to stay stumb.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Does anyone else think that it is unattractive when you are first trying to learn thai? Saying stupid things in their language and pretty much making a fool of yourself

No. Or at least: not unless you have a horrible attitude which I don't think you do.

If anything, making silly and funny mistakes is all part of learning the language; if anything it's similar to small kids first learning to speak: it's funny and endearing.

So don't worry about it.

Of course, for people who never improve and still get a long term relationship: the things that were endearing at first quickly turn into annoyances.. So do make progress.

[SlyAnimal]

I think, that the best way to think about whether they find it attractive or not, is think about a Thai person who is trying to speak English to you, do you find that more or less attractive to someone trying to speak Thai to you? (Assuming you can't speak Thai lol).

Personally I think that they'd be reasonably impressed that you're giving it a go, even if you make mistakes with the tone etc, as they can usually follow what you're saying if you try to speak in complete sentences/phrases, rather than trying to speak 90% English with the occasional Thai word thrown in.

[NancyL]

I think most educated Thai people will respond well to our attempts to learn and speak Thai.

However, I've met lower-class Thai women who don't want "their guys" to learn Thai. Why? Well, then they'd realize that their honey doesn't speak proper Thai and/or she wouldn't be able led him around relying on her to take care of all his business. I've seen mixed couples in routine commercial transactions at the bank, electric company, department store where it seems the guy would be lost if he didn't have his honey to help him. And I just conducted a transaction with these same people and never spoke a word of Thai!

[bino]

I think most educated Thai people will respond well to our attempts to learn and speak Thai.

However, I've met lower-class Thai women who don't want "their guys" to learn Thai. Why? Well, then they'd realize that their honey doesn't speak proper Thai and/or she wouldn't be able led him around relying on her to take care of all his business. I've seen mixed couples in routine commercial transactions at the bank, electric company, department store where it seems the guy would be lost if he didn't have his honey to help him. And I just conducted a transaction with these same people and never spoke a word of Thai!

Nancy is absolutely correct.

The girls call it "Take Care You", but it is actually all about "Control You".

Furthermore, an educated / non sleaze industry Thai will only need about a minute to suss out if you learned your Thai from bargirls.

Bino's advice: get some children's books, and learn the Thai alphabet - how to read and write. Most foreigners who are here long enough learn the "pattern" to write their own name, but if you can listen and write her name, she will be impressed beyond belief and see that you have made a serious effort beyond the beer bar to learn her language.

This has a practical value for those of us who are married / committed relationship with a Thai. Could you read your wife's name on an official document if something ever happened to her?

For those who aren't married - learning to write is incredible fun at the beer bar (or anywhere). The girls will be crowding around you wanting to see you write their name, and be your ajarn. Name tags are good too- being able to read them, because then you are allowed to get a good look at the name tag and what is behind it.

[damo]

My Thai isn't too bad and I don't know if it's attravtive to Thais, but I do find that they are halted by some of the things I say, I am usually very up front which is unlike Thai nature and to be the one to say what others think but would never say tends to surprise......

[Ijustwannateach]

On the rare occasions when I still get bothered by some kind of golddigger on the scene- he will inevitably start speaking to me in tourist-patois English- and I just start replying in Thai. Amazingly, his interest evaporates at incredible speed! Only one of the many practical uses of the Thai language.

[PingManDan]

No not at all, especially when you whisper sweet sexual phrases into their ears

[notmyself]

My Thai isn't too bad and I don't know if it's attravtive to Thais, but I do find that they are halted by some of the things I say, I am usually very up front which is unlike Thai nature and to be the one to say what others think but would never say tends to surprise......

Same here. The look on peoples faces is priceless

[notmyself]

On the rare occasions when I still get bothered by some kind of golddigger on the scene- he will inevitably start speaking to me in tourist-patois English- and I just start replying in Thai. Amazingly, his interest evaporates at incredible speed! Only one of the many practical uses of the Thai language.

Being able to haggle in Thai is the most useful IMO. First thing to learn after the essentials, the essentials being....

Hello

Please

Thank you

Where is the toilet

Can I pitch my tent in your garden

And is this motorbike four stroke.

[GuestHouse]

It very much depends upon the Thai that you speak.

Thailand is a class based society - learn/use the wrong accent/dialect/vocabulary and you very easily close doors.

Learn the right accent/dialect/vocabulary and doors will be open.

The right accent/dialect/vocabulary is educated central Thai - best learned at a good Thai language school or from several (not one) professional Thai language teachers (they do not themselves have to be Thai - and there is a very good argument for getting using a non native speaker).

I'll let the board squabble over what the wrong accent/dialect/vocabulary is and where it is most often learned.

[Loz]

GH,

I think it is best to learn a variety of modes of Thai expression. I can switch between Isaan/Laos mix, Korat accented and what you probably mean by educated central Thai.

The difference between Goo ja doi mueng and Kaprajao ja katerb naa tan has been discussed for comic effect in my classroom. Kids like teaching about what they know and if I get them using English to explain what is polite and where I can use what phrases they have fun and learn English almost incidentally.

Kopra khun maak na krapom!

[Semper]

, because then you are allowed to get a good look at the name tag and what is behind it.

Well, in this country there is not much to see, "behind it".

[wana]

^ there is the odd girl with a decent rack ,but they are definately in a slim minority

be wary of big melons ,the girls i see often that appear to be well stacked are not "girls "

[Tonto21]

As pointed out already, your Thai ‘warbling’ is received differently, by different people and I think depending on the level of education of the listener.

Unattractive? No I don’t think so, can be a little embarrassing when first learning, but you get over that.

My wife thinks my Thai is sweet, poor girl, I swear I can see tears welling up in her eye when I talk to her in Thai…………And I don’t think its joy!

[elwood]

, because then you are allowed to get a good look at the name tag and what is behind it.

Well, in this country there is not much to see, "behind it".

Being able to get up close to a girl's name tag in order to show your Thai-reading skills is rather nice; so as far as I'm concerned there is, or could be, much to see behind it.

Have you thought of removing your smiling avatar?

[nocturn]

In my experience thai girls do not find learning thai "unattractive", in fact most of them have already learned it themselves.

It is only after you have learned that they begin to object ....