Popular Post pauljones Posted March 25, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted March 25, 2012 We best not install that super slippery ceramic tile in the bathroom. Someone could get hurt. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KIWIBATCH Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Thai farmer to thai farm worker: ...well its written in english on the label but I have it figured out.... the mix is 9 litres of pesticide to half a litre of water...so get mixing. Thai woman on apartment balcony...directly above falangs balcony: ...hey I am so sorry...you see my son is a terrible bedwetter...and I just have to wash and dry his blanket every morning...so I am truly sorry about the urine tainted water dripping down onto your work shirts..... Thai bar girl: .....yes its taken me years to perfect the 50 yard stare....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KIWIBATCH Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Falang sitting in bar to thai bar girl drinking water........ F. ..what are you drinking...... TBG....tequila shots..... F. ...looks like water to me..... TBG...ahh I am only drinking this water inbetween to cleanse my palate....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 I've had a great idea Somchai, let's ask a farang how to do it. ah my dear Thaddeus, that is probably the greatest truth so far, never never could a farang actually know more than somchai. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 government spokesman "due to complaints about long lines at the ministry of corruption, we will redeploy 50 staff from the ministry of anti-corruption to ease the back log" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 shop girl at siam paragon 2nd floor to friend "isnt that nice, that farang bought his brown skin grandaughter to shop here" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 my wife to me when watching the cricket "oh it is raining, they will have to use duckworth-lewis, its such a simple way to make the game fairer" thai bargirl to me "you buy me dink, if i explain mandelbrots theory in laymans terms to you" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaddeus Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 I've had a great idea Somchai, let's ask a farang how to do it. ah my dear Thaddeus, that is probably the greatest truth so far, never never could a farang actually know more than somchai. The greatest truths do smart sometimes, most of the time in fact.... After never hearing that one, you will also never hear... "It was my fault, I take total responsibility and shall resign immediately" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrjohndub Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Employer to employee: "There is a national holiday tomorrow. No work, cheers." Employer to employee: "There is a meeting tomorrow. You'd best plan to attend." Employer to employee: "That's okay, we already have a copy of your passport on file." Employer to employee: "The boss won't be here for a week, or something like that. Not to worry, we know exactly when he/she will return from the urgent business." Employer to employee: "Oh, that's right. I forgot you had a nationality." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Farang to farang...." I'm into ladyboys, how 'bout you" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KIWIBATCH Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Thai motorcycle taxi driver with falang pillion passenger: ...dont worry falang its okay to pass this truck on the inside...I know him... he is going to turn right very shortly.... Thai motorcycle taxi driver with falang pillion passenger: .....sorry about your face being covered with my snot...I have had this sneezing thing now for two weeks.... Thai taxi driver.... ....yep I will leave it in third gear even tho we are doing 120kph........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KIWIBATCH Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Thai Operations manager on airport link train: .....yes the doors were designed to snap shut like a guillotine as a deterrent to those of you who insist on waving goodbye to your loved ones..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJohnnyBKK Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 I feel obliged to disagree on this one; thank you for the learning opportunity, but it appears that "to fap" is etymologically derived from "fap!" an onomatopaiec exclamation for the sound of solitary gentlemanly stimulation from English-language manga-style comics. Being fortuitously blessed with a monomanual-sized member, I can confirm that one or two hands, the sound is the same. But when a farang faps in a lonely forest, and no bletherer is near by to hear it. . . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Me... "Beer? No thanks, I'm teetotal!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Farang to Thai fellah after Thai fellah's done a job for him. ......"Nice work mate! Couldna done it better meself!" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 miss horwang to miss taylor "pack the bags girl, were off to pattaya to find a farang" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 at the mum and dads store in the village "sorry cant sell beer or whisky today, government say no sell" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F1fanatic Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 I've said it many times, Blether, many of the things I find annoying about Thailand are the very same things that I enjoy. It's a strange anomaly, but it's true. I stand in wonder how everyone accepts some person stopping their vehicle right in the middle of a busy passageway just so they can purchase something at the 7-11, Or, how they will park their vehicle right outside their home at lunch hour and block a whole lane in the road... forcing the rest of the traffic to try and get around. Or, they will triple park anywhere if it means they don't have to walk further than 50 feet. Sorry - off topic but - a couple of days ago I crested the brow of a hill (zero visibility beyond) on my 'bike only to see someone on a 'bike stopped in the middle of the road to chat on their 'phone! I could only laugh and think 'at least its better than chatting whilst continuing to drive'. Something I see frequently... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy1978 Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 11) there's no traffic jam today. 12) Massage not good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joe552 Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Farang - why is there never a 7-11 when you need one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Thai girl looking for job...."I'll be late and not turn up for work often, ok?" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Thai girl to farang husband (based on experience!).... "I go market. I will come back in about 7 hours!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 police major general "none of the police women working here are my mia noi" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenSnapper Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Water buffalo: I'm vegetarian and exercise regularly. Never been sick in my life! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Water buffalo: I'm vegetarian and exercise regularly. Never been sick in my life! Lol! Water buffalo.... "My owner would never lie about my health!" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Water buffalo #2.... "oink, oink!" (sorry people, but its things you wouldnt hear thread!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 police major general "none of the police women working here are my mia noi" C'mon Mack.....Things you 'wouldn't hear!' 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 ex bar girl to mother when she takes her new farang to visit the village "hey mum show him the moves you did upstairs in patpong" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macksview Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 police major general "none of the police women working here are my mia noi" C'mon Mack.....Things you 'wouldn't hear!' oopsy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerchang Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Farang in Pattaya.... "Smells nice this town" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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