Why I Don'T Like Watching Soccer/Football On Tv

[MaxwellsDemon]

Soccer, football, or footborn as the Thais say it.

I was at a pub last night when the Newcastle/Liverpool match came on. I've never been a fan of watching soccer on the telly, despite the fact I enjoying playing a game. I gave it a shot anyway, with the only other thing shown being F1 (don't get me started).

I noticed I wasn't having much fun, and that watching this was much more boring than seeing my sport of choice. As a Canadian, that would be ice hockey.

1. The first thing that struck me is how big the pitch is. The field is colossal. As a result, all the players turn into tiny little blobs on all but the largest plasma screens, and I can't for the life of me figure out who's who. Yeah, teams are identifiable, but the players numbers are so minuscule I

2. Bigger field also means lots more distance to cover, and while there are twice as many players to make up for it compared to hockey, there's an awful lot of running about. And walking. Why do you see them walking so much? It just seems to take forever to move the ball from one end to the other.

3. To slow it down even more, the game lasts 90 minutes, with players hardly getting a break. Yeah, okay, you get points for "which sport is more difficult," but in terms of entertainment value, players just get dam_n tired, and that gets boring. In hockey, line changes are happening every so often which means the players and the puck are always moving near top speed. And you never ever see hockey players with hands on knees, panting like a dog.

4. Dead time always seems to last longer, too. Players and refs and coaches always seem to be engaged in some way or another, and the viewer is forced to watch (but not listen). Oh, and not to mention the fact that there are boundaries, which means play is stopped when someone kicked the ball a little too far, and which gets even more likely closer to the goal, and closer to the action. Walls ftw.

5. And when the ball finally does get shot at the goal, it either goes in (and team homoeroticism ensues) or gets caught/blocked by Mr. Goalkeeper. While I admit rebounds do occur, too often the ball is caught, and kicked back out into the middle of the field, where it restarts its long and arduous journey towards excitement at either end of the pitch. Ice hockey goalies swat and bat less than they do catch, resulting in multiple shot scenarios and a much faster pace.

6. When two players collide, it's always an awkward mess of fragility that makes me more confused than pumped. Too often an encounter is nothing more than a split second of contact in the lower leg that sends both players into tumbling bumbling ragdolls. Cover them with armor and give them skates that make movement much faster yet more elegant, and you get more action-packed bangs and booms. Even the fans reflect this: when the replay of a soccer clash is shown, all you hear are "awwwww come on"s, as opposed to hockey fans' "ooooooooohh!" with big fat grins.

7. Oh yeah, fights.

8. In soccer, post-whistleblow coverage always seems to be of players shouting things and waving their arms like the crazy Europeans they are. In hockey, you get more cheeky one-liners and grins that really makes you wish you could lip-read.

9. Hockey has some additional bonuses that few other sports incorporate, like power plays and goalie-pulling. Soccer gets two colours of cards.

10. Why don't footballers ever sport epic beards?

DISCLAIMER: I apologize if the humour is lost in you.

[StreetCowboy]

You'll just have to get used to watching rugby league then. Two or three or four Australian NRL games on every weekend, and now a couple of European Superleague games (filed under English Superleague) on Astro. Purists will say its a less sophisticated game than Union, and to be honest, Union is OK on television, but at the ground, you can really see what's going on better with league. SC It sounds as if you might enjoy this: I think you get a better class of banter with league as well

Edit: By the way, Friday night's St Helens - Wigan game should be a cracker, if Wigan can find their way back to form. Live on Astro in the mid-evening.

Not quite the excitement and chaos of Australian Rules, nor the opportunity for advertising of the American game, and lacking the sublte complexities of Union, or the proletarian convenience of Association Football, I think you'll find that League is the most entertaining football to watch, Sevens aside.

SC

Edited April 2, 2012 by StreetCowboy

[richard_smith237]

But the helmets would mess up the footballers hairstyles...

Last nights match was a show of poor decisions, poor defending, poor diving, terrible acting... it was like watching school children at some point. The British love this drama, why WWF isn't more popular beats me....

Football is the British religion - We watch 22 pre-Madonna's being as unsportsmanlike as they can be... Give me Rugby any day.

BUT: <deleted> is it with that skatey game they play in America - hockey on ice skates ?... and the pads ? What is it with sports on that side of the pond, is no one tough enough to take a hit? what's with all the stoppages? is no one fit enough? or is it that audiences can't keep up? The world what? who else in the world plays!!!... oh and as for that little black bit of rubber... Where did it go? the cameras can't keep up !...

[StreetCowboy]

But the helmets would mess up the footballers hairstyles...

Last nights match was a show of poor decisions, poor defending, poor diving, terrible acting... it was like watching school children at some point. The British love this drama, why WWF isn't more popular beats me....

Football is the British religion - We watch 22 pre-Madonna's being as unsportsmanlike as they can be... Give me Rugby any day.

BUT: <deleted> is it with that skatey game they play in America - hockey on ice skates ?... and the pads ? What is it with sports on that side of the pond, is no one tough enough to take a hit? what's with all the stoppages? is no one fit enough? or is it that audiences can't keep up? The world what? who else in the world plays!!!... oh and as for that little black bit of rubber... Where did it go? the cameras can't keep up !...

If you slow the video right down, you'll find that for most of the game, the puck isn't even there. They realised how much fun 'spot the ball' competitions were, and just took it one step further.

I should've told you that yesterday...

SC

[MaxwellsDemon]

BUT: <deleted> is it with that skatey game they play in America - hockey on ice skates ?... and the pads ? What is it with sports on that side of the pond, is no one tough enough to take a hit? what's with all the stoppages? is no one fit enough? or is it that audiences can't keep up? The world what? who else in the world plays!!!... oh and as for that little black bit of rubber... Where did it go? the cameras can't keep up !...

I think the padding and stuff make it more fun, both to play and to watch. Like, humans are pretty frail creatures. And so in for example rugby, tackling requires as much brain as brawn to not do something stupid. Cover yourself in some armor and you suddenly become fearless/foolish, and start diving headfirst into piles of men. Over and over and over.

[StreetCowboy]

In response to the OP

10: Sebastien Chabal.

DJ Forbes has a right ridiculous set of whiskers as well.

He's not a beardie, but Matt King fairly stood out on the pitch

[californiabeachboy]

A timely post for me, since I just returned from watching something here in town called "beach soccer" - same as soccer/football but on the sand, so the field (pitch?) was much smaller and the action quicker. And there were many Brazilian women wandering about.

As a warm weather Yank I could never get into hockey because I could never figure out where the small rubber disk (where did the word "puck" come from?) was until I saw one side collectively raise their arms, and I guess they had scored. But I must admit, the Stanley Cup finals can be addictive.

As mentioned above, the best sport to watch is NRL - I spent two years Down Under and wish I could watch it Up Here.

[StreetCowboy]

A timely post for me, since I just returned from watching something here in town called "beach soccer" - same as soccer/football but on the sand, so the field (pitch?) was much smaller and the action quicker. And there were many Brazilian women wandering about.

As a warm weather Yank I could never get into hockey because I could never figure out where the small rubber disk (where did the word "puck" come from?) was until I saw one side collectively raise their arms, and I guess they had scored. But I must admit, the Stanley Cup finals can be addictive.

As mentioned above, the best sport to watch is NRL - I spent two years Down Under and wish I could watch it Up Here.

Astro, the Malaysian satellite carrier, shows a few NRL games most weekends, and this year, for the first time, the European Superleague, and the Challenge Cup, which I reckon is one of the best football competitions anywhere,

The NRL is on Sentanta, which I think True also carries, and the Superleague is on Eurosport.

The Asian Five Nations is on ESPN or Star, by the way. Eurosport and Setanta also carry a lot of rugby union.

SC