How To Keep "Friendly" Neighbour

[uptheos]

Gain they’re wrath and they can transform your lifestyle in that area into a living hell.

Absolutely, sometimes a lesson that is unfortunately learned the hard way.

On the other hand be a 'good' neighbour and you will be surprised how helpful some of these people can be, in times of need.

[Dean1953]

Let me clarify a few things. The wall, in about a 6-8 foot section, is leaning away from the garage about 3 inches (the wall bordering the neighbor is around 60 feet long). I really doubt if I have to worry about the wall falling for some time. I will be at the house in June, 2013 and will take care of the wall then. I certainly don't want to hire someone and trust that they will build a secure wall without any supervision. I have decided to bring over with me in 2013 a leaf blower, which should make short work of the stuff coming off of my neighbor's trees. I wouldn't worry about what the neighbor's think. The surrounding land was once owned by a family. A business partner of mine in LOS owned the particular land that my wife now owns. She informally watches my hosue and land from the apartments that we jointly own on one side of the property. Her nephew lives across the street from me and I get along well with him, having hired him to do several things, like put glass in my windows and a glass top on every coffee table, dresser that I own. His father owns the local car wash and I use it frequently. I get along well with all of them. This one neighbor is an in law and is not well liked by the others. I don't dislike him but he is an absentee landlord, building shacks on his property and renting them out . My wife and I get along well with the thai's that rent the shack closest to my house, including his son and my son playing most days when we are there (which for my wife and son was 5 months last year). I really don't think that I need a lecture about how to get along with thais. However, today, a new problem arose. One of my neighbor's teak trees near the wall fell down, not hitting the wall, but falling on the roof of my garage, leaving at least one hole in it. My house has clay tiles, but the garage has the cheaper red sheets (and depending on the size of the hole, I should have enough sheets to possibly repair it). I haven't had much discussion about it with my wife, except to have someone take pictures of the damage and contacting one of the workers that helped build my house to get the tree off of the garage repair the damage. I told my wife I expect the neighbor to pay any cost involved and she thought I was crazy. I asked her to have someone contact the neighbor and see, if he was unable or unwilling to pay for damages, to see if he would allow, in exchange for the damage being waived, to have two or three supports put in place for the wall. I would prefer that he pay damages. I will talk to my business partner to see what the other members of the family think about the matter. I do know that, if he doesn't pay for damages, I will request that he cut down any tree that possibly could damage my property if the tree falls.

[naboo]

Tree falls on your roof = your problem.

The neighbour might pay for someone to get it off your roof because he'll want his valuable wood back.

The fact everyone around you appears to be family means it really isn't good to be picking fights with them. If your wife's a good woman, roll with her advice.

[DaBloodyMess]

Tree falls on your roof = your problem.

The neighbour might pay for someone to get it off your roof because he'll want his valuable wood back.

The fact everyone around you appears to be family means it really isn't good to be picking fights with them. If your wife's a good woman, roll with her advice.

Or seeing though he is an absentee landlord get in first and pay someone to remove it

Some teak should be ample compensation for the damage to your garage.

[Dante99]

, if ........, I will request that he cut down any tree that possibly could damage my property if the tree falls.

Good luck with that request. And why do you think your neighbor would be interested in permanent wall supports on his land in exchange for a few cheap "red sheets"?

[tolstoy]

Im just grateful that he isn't my neighbor. You don't even live here and you have problems with your neighbors. Imagine if the op was here everyday.

[Beetlejuice]

Let me clarify a few things. The wall, in about a 6-8 foot section, is leaning away from the garage about 3 inches (the wall bordering the neighbor is around 60 feet long). I really doubt if I have to worry about the wall falling for some time. I will be at the house in June, 2013 and will take care of the wall then. I certainly don't want to hire someone and trust that they will build a secure wall without any supervision. I have decided to bring over with me in 2013 a leaf blower, which should make short work of the stuff coming off of my neighbor's trees. I wouldn't worry about what the neighbor's think. The surrounding land was once owned by a family. A business partner of mine in LOS owned the particular land that my wife now owns. She informally watches my hosue and land from the apartments that we jointly own on one side of the property. Her nephew lives across the street from me and I get along well with him, having hired him to do several things, like put glass in my windows and a glass top on every coffee table, dresser that I own. His father owns the local car wash and I use it frequently. I get along well with all of them. This one neighbor is an in law and is not well liked by the others. I don't dislike him but he is an absentee landlord, building shacks on his property and renting them out . My wife and I get along well with the thai's that rent the shack closest to my house, including his son and my son playing most days when we are there (which for my wife and son was 5 months last year). I really don't think that I need a lecture about how to get along with thais. However, today, a new problem arose. One of my neighbor's teak trees near the wall fell down, not hitting the wall, but falling on the roof of my garage, leaving at least one hole in it. My house has clay tiles, but the garage has the cheaper red sheets (and depending on the size of the hole, I should have enough sheets to possibly repair it). I haven't had much discussion about it with my wife, except to have someone take pictures of the damage and contacting one of the workers that helped build my house to get the tree off of the garage repair the damage. I told my wife I expect the neighbor to pay any cost involved and she thought I was crazy. I asked her to have someone contact the neighbor and see, if he was unable or unwilling to pay for damages, to see if he would allow, in exchange for the damage being waived, to have two or three supports put in place for the wall. I would prefer that he pay damages. I will talk to my business partner to see what the other members of the family think about the matter. I do know that, if he doesn't pay for damages, I will request that he cut down any tree that possibly could damage my property if the tree falls.

In your original post you quoted: I (or more accurately, my wife) has a house near Bosang. But in this post you say; I will request that he cut down any tree that possibly could damage my property if the tree falls.

If you are the actual purchaser of the land, even if it`s in your Thai wife’s name, than in most cases the following applies:

If the neighbor refuses to pay towards any damages caused by his tree and you decide to take further action, unless you have evidence that either the property was owned by your wife prior to your marriage or was purchased with her money after the marriage, than you don`t have much of a case against your neighbors, because technically you have no formal say in the matter in a Thai court of law, other than being there for moral support as a husband and using your Thai wife as a front person for your complaints as many farang not really the land and property owners but are really the land and property owners do..

So my advice is; that you should consider carefully where you stand regarding the land and property under Thai law and proceed with any further actions against your neighbors with caution.

But even disregarding the legalities, from my experience here, most Thai people will move mountains if you have a good attitude, are accommodating and able to live together with compromise. Usually when dealing with relatives everyone gets along fine and I am at a loss to understand why the dealings with the absentee landlord who you claim is an in-law is so complicated, so this could mean that your wife is not taking these issues as seriously as yourself?

As regarding the dodgy wall I can see no reason why your wife cannot hire a repairer and ask a relative or friend to supervise the work in your absence? My wife owned her house before we met and later when we lived for a period in the States; her brother took care of all the maintenance and upkeep of the house in Chiang Mai with no problems.

If I was unfortunate enough to have an absent neighbour like you with a dodgy wall leaning over our land, I would be extremely concerned and in the hope that the neighbour would sort the problem rather than waiting until he is good and ready and feels fit to do so. This is Thailand and these matters can be easily solved in ways that I have mentioned above.

It appears to me that you have a stubborn attitude, don’t like to compromise and it has to be you’re way or not at all. Sorry to say that this way of thinking will not get you very far in Thailand, plus I suspect that your wife if left totally up to her discretion would handle this is a completely different way.

[LarryBird]

Firstly I would suggest that our dean1953 loses his Westerner aggression and the sod you, I don`t give a toss approach, which is the general attitudes of many farangs that are plonking themselves in Thailand.

me so smart.. me so cultured.. me adapt to Thailand and laugh at silly farang..

[Dean1953]

When I said he was an in law, I meant to the family that owns the immediate surrounding land, not to my wife. I'll have to wait until I see how much it will cost to fix the roof of the garage. Since it is thailand, it probably won't be much. But I will have a talk first with my thai business partner and the other nearby relatives, on which I am on good terms, on the best way to approach the dealings with my neighbor, particularly on those trees that extend over to my (wife's) property after 15 feet up. Concerning the wall, no one, including my wife, the caretaker of the house, my thai business partner and even Dr. Treelove, a member here that did some work close to the wall, didn't feel it was important enough to mention to the slight leaning of the wall. Its hard to tell it leans out unless you look down the entire side of the wall. It has seperated 3 inches from the garage. Its not going to fall anytime soon. Half of you people critise me for not becoming more thai, and then say you wouldn't allow such a wal to stand another minute. you can't have it both ways. One other complication to mention. My wife and my thai business partner can't stand each other (mainly my wife toward the business partner). That means I have to pick my times to call the business partner. Ultimately, my wife will do what I want concerning legal action towards my neighbor. If its as cheap to fix the damage as I think it will be, I will let it go but will have a conversation with him next year about the remainder of the trees bordering our properties. By the way, where I live in Kansas City (moved to this house in July last year), the previous owner and his neighbors didn't get along. The previous lower, who is black, used the racial card extensively and had restraining orders against 12 of his neighbors and did damage to neighbor's property, like taking a bat to the sprinkler heads. To say my neighbers here appreciate having me here instead of the previous neighbor is an understatement. I guess, like most things, you can put these things in perspective.

[driedmango]

I think you should just be happy to have those trees in your view, trees are wonderful and create a sense of peace for everyone. YOu get to enjoy having these trees and only have to take care of cleaning up a few leaves off your property, this is typical of living in a community, you pitch in, you help out, and let people live their lives.

As far as the wall goes, I wouldn't want brances on my side of the wall either, and perhaps it might fall down and hurt someone on his side, he might not care as much about the privacy as you do. I would suggest asking him if you can mess his space up just long enought to tear down the wall and rebuild, of course you will foot the bill if he isn't into it.

Just saying you should just keep smiling.

[wolf5370]

my neighbors will rake and sweep my leaves sometimes. I feel a little guilty but am grateful to them. They have never harrassed me or bothered me about it. But perhaps you feel that you are more important than everyone else. Le tthe little things go or expect large problems in the future.

One neighbor built his house (bathroom) right on the property line so his window was actually on the fence looking into our yard and kitchen. A little rude so we planted some trees behind our house blocking his view. One time one branch of one tree touched his window so he had his laborer jump over our fence and chop down all of our trees.

Imagine if I had done that to him. He would have probably burnt my house down.

If you cannot just accept that some things others do annoy you as you probably do stuff that annoys him, then just hire a crew to come and top the trees down 10 feet. Don't do it yourself.

I will reiterate that it is better just to accept the little things. The notion of Mai pen Rai goes a long way towards your own happiness.

I like the saying you can be right or you can be happy.

Think I would have put a section of fencing up on my property line blocking his view, with a treliss and some pretty flowers (night flowering jasmin perhaps) on my side of it - be a lot harder for his labourer to come and chop that down - no more than you knocking down his bathroom.

To the Op. Not sure how it would fit with the property, but if you angled the netting taught, then you could just say it's to keep out chipmunks/squirells/etc but would also act to shear the leaves to his side mostly - rather than an obvious catching mechanism that launches them back on to his side. The other way, if you can afford it without concern, is to get the house cleaner to hire a kid once or twice a week to rake and burn/discrad - this would cost just no more than a few hundred baht a week (and it would probablky be the housekeeper doing it and pocketing the extra cash anyway - to your advantage and her hapinesss). and keeps the peace

[JeffreyMcCollum]

Seems like to me you are the un friendly neighbor. House all walled in. Waiting for your wall to fall down on his property and now worried about some leaves. Glad your not my neighbor.

You say the wall was not built correctly. OK so fix it and fix it correctly. Why wait until it damages his property ? already your taking his space away with it leaning.

I would be happy with nice trees around my home. Adds to the value and keeps things cooler,

What next ? a sheild from bird poop when birds fly by to fling it back up at them ?

My guess is your neighbor just is a reflection of how your treating them

[Dean1953]

I walled in my house for the same reason that others with relative expensive houses do the same; security. Here is a clasified ad for renting my house on thai visa; http://classifieds.thaivisa.com/real-estate/houses-to-rent/lanna-style-teak-house-on-1-rai-of-landscaped-grounds-for-rent-93622.html You can see the garage on the left side of the house. Actually, the trees partially block my view of the mountains in the distance but I certainly wouldn't ask him to cut the trees down because of that. As I said previously, no one has complained about the wall slightly leaning and I will fix it next year. The reason that I moved back to the U.S. is to provide the opportunity for a first class education for my wife's 3 children from a previous marrage. Its the kind of sacrifice that I wouldn't expect many on this board to understand. I know have two houses and a wife and 4 children to support. The house that I bought in the U.S. is a "fixer upper." It will take my spare time and money for the next year. Unless there is an emergency that requires spending money on my Bosang house, it will have to be content with a housekeeper taking care of it for 6,000 baht a month. Of course, if any thai visa members want to sign a one year lease to rent the house/property, I would be more than happy to fix the wall and put up netting so you won't have to deal with raking at least an hour a day. By the way, the housekeeper does deal; with bird poop on the patios/decks. I brought a solar powered owl over last year to hang near my garage but it hasn't deterred the birds.

[Dante99]

What does the owl do besides not deter birds? (the solar power lights its eyes, flaps its wings, makes owl noise to what?)

[Dean1953]

It lights its eyes and his head does a 360 degree turn once a minute

[JeffreyMcCollum]

I walled in my house for the same reason that others with relative expensive houses do the same; security. Here is a clasified ad for renting my house on thai visa; http://classifieds.t...rent-93622.html You can see the garage on the left side of the house. Actually, the trees partially block my view of the mountains in the distance but I certainly wouldn't ask him to cut the trees down because of that. As I said previously, no one has complained about the wall slightly leaning and I will fix it next year. The reason that I moved back to the U.S. is to provide the opportunity for a first class education for my wife's 3 children from a previous marrage. Its the kind of sacrifice that I wouldn't expect many on this board to understand. I know have two houses and a wife and 4 children to support. The house that I bought in the U.S. is a "fixer upper." It will take my spare time and money for the next year. Unless there is an emergency that requires spending money on my Bosang house, it will have to be content with a housekeeper taking care of it for 6,000 baht a month. Of course, if any thai visa members want to sign a one year lease to rent the house/property, I would be more than happy to fix the wall and put up netting so you won't have to deal with raking at least an hour a day. By the way, the housekeeper does deal; with bird poop on the patios/decks. I brought a solar powered owl over last year to hang near my garage but it hasn't deterred the birds.

I guess we will agree to disagree on some things . . .

your link popped up a 17m baht home in Pattaya so yes it is more than mine.

I do what I do. Not what others do. I would not live anywhere I felt unsafe. Yet I ofren leave my keys in my truck or car or one of my motorcycles. I haven't locked up my house in months, maybe since I got it last October. And the highest wall around my home is about 3 feet. No gates. My neighbors dog some times poops in my yard, but he always come over, and sometime right in my home.to say hello. Behind my home often are buffalo that poke their head over that 3 foot wall to check out what I am doing. There are trees that block some of my view of Doi Sethep, but I am happy for the tall trees beauty and shade. .In my neighborhood we help each other and share. I am the only Foreigner. About a month ago while working in my home I had an accident and my heart stopped, My neighbors quickly ran over to check what happend and my life was saved with their help. High walls won't deter the "Bad guys" they are smarter than the birds. Good neighbors will. Good luck with the school system in the USA, it really isn't what it use to be, but then neither is America

[Dean1953]

Its still better than sending the kids to a thai-chinese school in Chiang Mai. Plus, they will actually find a decent job when their schooling is finished, which is unlikely in Thailand

[driedmango]

Dean, I think if you were asking people what they think here, they are trying to tell you that confilics suck, if you have lots of money, you are nutts for even thinking about this.

They aren't going to start cutting down their trees for you, people love their trees and cry when they fall down, every street even in America has huge trees that could come down at any storm, but the fact of the matter is everyone loves and needs trees.

I don't think anyone is being unreasonable to say, pay for your own roof, clean up any branches or leaves that you want to, and most of all try to even go further, it might be hard at 1st, and instead of being agro try to make a meal for everyone where you live and offer them a hand doing some sort of project.

Be a good member, not a nasty one. If you are nasty you will be very unhappy, decided to good and see how much joy life can be.

Not only that, but where I live in Canada their is certain Americans that build 3rd or 4th giant homes, put in security fences that are so ugly with cameras and walls, and stare at people with binoculars over their balcony when walking dogs... all this and in our community everyone watches out for each other, people would come over after a storm and check for damage, invite you on their boat, give you fruit from their trees, or fish from their boats... not these people, the whole village mocks and dislikes them, they don't even know how much of a great community is around them and how many friends they could have. All the hundreds of eyes would do nothing to help them.

You get much better security in life when people like you,when they want the best for your material things for you, walls won't help you, thats the irony of lots of things security in America, when you put up a wall you express distrust and scare the local people who are most likely honest and would never understand your agressive mindset.

Edited May 7, 2012 by driedmango

[HaleySabai]

Your neighbour is a nasty little weasel. Bloody locals eh! You'd be well within your rights to chop his trees down!

Remember Mr. doodle, you ain't in Kansas anymore...in LOS people get shot for a lot less of impolite accusation.

Think....."Whiskey & BBQ", then invite the neighbors over

I am from Canada to,eh...comes natural to us.

Edited May 7, 2012 by HaleySabai

[muchogra]

Unfriendly neighbors are not worthy of keeping. But, in your caase, OP, you seem not trying to keep a neighbor, but, rather, you seem wanting to show your "superiority complex" which, to me, is wrong! Why not discuss in good faith without barrier?

[Dean1953]

Actually, the original question was what would be the consequences of putting up a net to catch and push back the debris falling from them. What would a typical thai do, up to burning down my house. Like I said, I'll just bring over a leaf blower with me the next time. And when I get around to fixing the wall (or tearing it down to rebuild), I may put the net design into the re-building of the wall. I don't plan on cutting his other trees down but will examine his trees the next time I am over there, to see if any of them are sick and could possibly fall down, like the teak tree. I do need two of the four walls, as they border the thai apartments that I and my thai partner own. I make 7,000 baht a month off of them and have waived that amount for the last 2 years, as my partner's son is in his 2nd year of college and they can use the money. Once he graduates, the payments resume. So, however you want to state it (you reap what you sow or Karma), I do think that I have been a good resident while in LOS and as an absentee landlord. I get along with the thais that stay in the apartments, the neighbor across the street and his next door neighbor. The rest, I do not know very well but am able to give them business when I can (repairing wheelbarrows and buying cow manure from them). Because I am on good terms with almost all of them, I know that they look after my house and I doubt if my next door neighbor would try anything, as he is related to all of them. There is always the change that a stranger will see the house and decide to break in, and that does concern me.

[wolf5370]

Actually, the original question was what would be the consequences of putting up a net to catch and push back the debris falling from them. What would a typical thai do, up to burning down my house. Like I said, I'll just bring over a leaf blower with me the next time. And when I get around to fixing the wall (or tearing it down to rebuild), I may put the net design into the re-building of the wall. I don't plan on cutting his other trees down but will examine his trees the next time I am over there, to see if any of them are sick and could possibly fall down, like the teak tree. I do need two of the four walls, as they border the thai apartments that I and my thai partner own. I make 7,000 baht a month off of them and have waived that amount for the last 2 years, as my partner's son is in his 2nd year of college and they can use the money. Once he graduates, the payments resume. So, however you want to state it (you reap what you sow or Karma), I do think that I have been a good resident while in LOS and as an absentee landlord. I get along with the thais that stay in the apartments, the neighbor across the street and his next door neighbor. The rest, I do not know very well but am able to give them business when I can (repairing wheelbarrows and buying cow manure from them). Because I am on good terms with almost all of them, I know that they look after my house and I doubt if my next door neighbor would try anything, as he is related to all of them. There is always the change that a stranger will see the house and decide to break in, and that does concern me.

Then you would be ill advised to risk all of that for the sake of a few leaves - pay the house keeper a bonus for clearing them and its all done and dusted.

[LarryBird]

With regards to the leaves.. there are some Thai on Thai feuds in my village on this issue.

[Dean1953]

An update on my wall and my neighbor's trees. According to my wife, as she talks daily with her friend who is the caretaker for our house while we are in the U.S., the neighbor has either cut the trees down or, more likely, has trimmed the trees. I am still looking on Craigslist at backpack leaf blowers to buy and bring over with me in July. I would have to find a real bargain, as I doubt if the caretaker, who has hearing problems, will use a leaf blower. More important, the wall has moved enough to affect my sprinkler system. The plastic piping (the input and the four output pipes) are attached to the wall and no longer work (that all I could get out of my wife). The pipes were repaired for 400 baht. Someone that builds security, block walls came by and said he would, for 2,000 baht, re-enforce the dirt under the wall with more dirt. This would not straighten the wall and, most likely, would be a temporary solution. For 20,000 baht, he would cut the wall in half between each posts (there are approximately 10 posts on that wall) and put some sort of metal beam which would keep the wall straight. I try not to think about the last option, which would be removing the existing wall and digging deeper and building a new wall. The property is on one rai, so the wall would cover the length of one side. I would prefer to have the wall temporarily supported until I get there in July and deal with the problem on site. I am considering offering my neighbor 10,000 baht to have the existing wall torn down half way and building a wall behind it, on his property. I don't think that I have ever mentioned in this thread that my neighbor has 2 rai and uses it to farm and has put 2 shacks on the property for rent. He doesn't live on the property. Anyway, that where I am as of today.

[shaggy1969]

The title of your thread is 'How to keep "Friendly" Neighbour'....my suggestion would be by being friendly back.

Your neighbour has trimmed his trees back and you are working out how to get the wall fixed,so to my thinking there is no problem now,just leave it at that because one day you will live there and it would be better for you if the towns folk saw you as a nice guy instead of a trouble maker (in their eyes)

Hope it all works out well for you (and your neighbour).

Shaggy

Nice house by the way

Edited February 23, 2013 by shaggy1969