How To Keep "Friendly" Neighbour

[Dean1953]

I (or more accurately, my wife) has a house near Bosang, that we decided to keep while her 3 children are finishing up High school in the U.S. (for another 4 years). It has a concrete wall on four sides. On the side with the neighbour in question, the footing for the wall wasn't dug deep enough and now, after 7 years , the wall leans out about 3 inches. From what I understand, the neighbour does not want braces on his property to hold the wall up, so I am waiting for it to collapse and will have it rebuilt then. The neighbour also has many trees near his property line with me. Some are banana trees and if the leaves grow other the wall far enough, I cut them off. My question is; there are many trees near the front of the property line that drop those leaves that look like propellers. I have a garden on my side of the property and every 3 days or so, my housekeeper has to rake these leaves up. I am considering putting a net up that will catch his debris and, by pulling a rope and straightening the net, will deposit the debris on his side of the property. Am I just asking for retribution from him, in some way? If not, are there any recommendations for someone that could build the net?

[Tywais]

One troll reply removed accusing the OP. Let's not go down that road.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

I wouldn't want supports on my side either. Why would it be my problem that you can't build a proper wall that doesn't lean over on to my property? I would actually ask to take it down and do it properly.

And trees dropping leaves... whoo! News at 11. Exciting place, Bor Sang.

Edited April 2, 2012 by WinnieTheKhwai

[CMSteve]

Sounds like the next 4 yrs are going to be tough....

This is a bit out there, but maybe you should fix your wall and(with a smile) ask him to cut back his trees?

[Dean1953]

At some point, the wall will be down and I'm not taking it down now because its leaning 3 inches. The trees in question are very tall and, from 10 feet up to their top off of around 30 feet, they lean over on my property considerably. I have an orchard property near Saraphi that I grow various trees, including teak trees. An adjacent owner asked me to move 3 of the trees because they were right on the property line, so I did. I guess I would be within my rights to cut off the part of the tree that is on my property but am not looking for that drastic solution. So, you think its alright for my having to remove leaves (or have them removed ) every 3-4 days and spend several hours doing this? I guess I could buy a leaf blower and have them blown to the front gate and out on the street. I don't imagine that the motorcycle riders would like that in rainy weather. I thought I would try to get someone that knows Thai culture explain what their reaction would be. If the last 2 comments are going to be representative of the comments that I can expect, save them and I'll be over in 10 months and I'll solve the leaf problem then.

[KRS1]

I suggest you ask your housekeeper what the best solution is, and do what she recommends about the tree.

[Dean1953]

Almost as exciting as replying to a question about leaf droppings. The trees in question are 25-30 feet tall and, at around 10 feet up, are leaning on my property. I suppose that I would be within my rights to cut down the part on my property but am not looking for that drastic a solution. I appreciate answers to my question. The rest of the comments I can do without but feel free to make them if you are that bored. As for exciting, I'm in living in the Kansas City area, about 25 miles from Lawrence Kansas (the University of Kansas), where I'll be tonight to celebrate our 4th national championship.

[tolstoy]

my neighbors will rake and sweep my leaves sometimes. I feel a little guilty but am grateful to them. They have never harrassed me or bothered me about it. But perhaps you feel that you are more important than everyone else. Le tthe little things go or expect large problems in the future.

One neighbor built his house (bathroom) right on the property line so his window was actually on the fence looking into our yard and kitchen. A little rude so we planted some trees behind our house blocking his view. One time one branch of one tree touched his window so he had his laborer jump over our fence and chop down all of our trees.

Imagine if I had done that to him. He would have probably burnt my house down.

If you cannot just accept that some things others do annoy you as you probably do stuff that annoys him, then just hire a crew to come and top the trees down 10 feet. Don't do it yourself.

I will reiterate that it is better just to accept the little things. The notion of Mai pen Rai goes a long way towards your own happiness.

I like the saying you can be right or you can be happy.

[KRS1]

Almost as exciting as replying to a question about leaf droppings. The trees in question are 25-30 feet tall and, at around 10 feet up, are leaning on my property. I suppose that I would be within my rights to cut down the part on my property but am not looking for that drastic a solution. I appreciate answers to my question. The rest of the comments I can do without but feel free to make them if you are that bored. As for exciting, I'm in living in the Kansas City area, about 25 miles from Lawrence Kansas (the University of Kansas), where I'll be tonight to celebrate our 4th national championship.

Is this a reply to my previous comment? Implying that I am bored? Or a reply to others in general? Edited April 2, 2012 by KRS1

[Dean1953]

I'd like to believe that the responses will be better than the last 2 but doubt it. To clarify, the trees are 30 feet tall and, after 10 feet up, they lean over the wall on my property. I will take down the wall but not at a 3 inch leaning. I didn't post this on Thai360 or <URL Automatically Removed> because I expected that kind of response there. Please close the thread.

[Dean1953]

I'm having trouble with knowing what is posting to this board. Up to now, I was responding to Winnie, so I appreciate the other comments. I'll be over in 10 moths and may bring a blower over then to make short work of the leaves. Thanks for the constructive replies. No, I am not the type of person that would cut the trees down (or even the part over the wall).

[NancyL]

We had a similar problem in the U.S. where a neighbor had some dead trees that were in danger of blowing down in a storm and damaging our greenhouses -- our source of income. We were on cordial, but not really friendly terms with them, but politely approached them asking if we could pay to have their trees removed which would mean the tree service company would have to have access thru their property. They agreed, even though it meant the tree trucks left some major ruts in the ground. Worked out OK -- we even ended up with the wood for our woodstove, when they said wanted all the debris removed from their property. Heated our house for an entire winter.

Maybe the OP could pay a professional to trim the trees, after securing permission from the owners.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

LOL.. from the multiple follow-ups I think it's clear on which side of that wall the main issue is. And you were spared the first response saying something similar (I didn't see it) but likely a lot less polite than I was.

Anyway, in all seriousness: don't go looking for some Thai specific cultural link to a petty neighborly dispute that happens all over the globe.

Edited April 2, 2012 by WinnieTheKhwai

[barefoot1988]

I do not know what kind of tree is that, but for the banana tress you could water boiling water daily, and dump your battery acid there

[naboo]

Dean,

Your neighbour is a nasty little weasel. Bloody locals eh! You'd be well within your rights to chop his trees down!

Hope that's the reply you wanted.

[hellodolly]

Almost as exciting as replying to a question about leaf droppings. The trees in question are 25-30 feet tall and, at around 10 feet up, are leaning on my property. I suppose that I would be within my rights to cut down the part on my property but am not looking for that drastic a solution. I appreciate answers to my question. The rest of the comments I can do without but feel free to make them if you are that bored. As for exciting, I'm in living in the Kansas City area, about 25 miles from Lawrence Kansas (the University of Kansas), where I'll be tonight to celebrate our 4th national championship.

Hope you win.

As to your problem have you talked with the neighbor about it?

[David48]

I'd like to believe that the responses will be better than the last 2 but doubt it. To clarify, the trees are 30 feet tall and, after 10 feet up, they lean over the wall on my property. I will take down the wall but not at a 3 inch leaning. I didn't post this on Thai360 or <URL Automatically Removed> because I expected that kind of response there. Please close the thread.

Dean, if you want the tread closed then contact the Mods directly.

You could use the 'Report' button at the bottom of each post or PM a Mod.

Tywais seems active on your thread so start there.

[Semper]

Look on the bright side, you'll have free bananas.

[Dante99]

Hey Dean,

Be a good neighbor or just a reasonable person and fix your wall. It is a dangerous situation and you should not wait for it to collapse and possibly cause damage or injury. Your neighbor has a legitimate concern and you should fix it promptly.

Do it first then address the leaf issue with your neighbor in a friendly way.

Edited April 3, 2012 by Dante99

[udonguy]

I cant believe I'm reading this - you may consider 'letting go' of some of your American 'suburbia' ways over here TIT

[funcat]

I have Thai neighbors for over 8 years and never had any kind of problem...I do not socialize with them to much besides the usual sawadee "crap" and lots of smiles ....maybe they think I'm kind of weird,but better this than having problems.

[KRS1]

I cant believe I'm reading this - you may consider 'letting go' of some of your American 'suburbia' ways over here TIT

Yes he would also be the neighbor from hell back in the states. The type that reports every little violation of deed restriction.

[Puwa]

The neighborly thing is to fix the wall rather than waiting for it to collapse. Setting up a net to catch falling leaves before they litter your garden is a reasonable idea. But rigging the net to dump everything back onto your neighbor's property is just spiteful. I gather that you are away from the property and your housekeeper is looking after things. Does it really matter to you whether she spends a few hours here and there picking up leaves from the garden? You mention what actions would be "within your rights," but generally in Thailand people prioritize relationships over rights in these kinds of situations. Of course there are always neurotic neighbors who don't care about relationships, and their community ridicules and despises them for it. So you should ask yourself whether you want to subject yourself and your family to that scorn.

On our street, there's a neighbor a few doors down who also owns an empty lot across from our and several other houses. For years, others would dump grass clippings and small cut branches there. Every couple of months when gardeners would cut the grass, they would also clear the added refuse. Eventually the owner asked all the neighbors to stop dumping, which was a reasonable request, and everyone did. But then he and his wife or sister began patrolling the lot anytime a neighbor was doing yardwork, even pre-emptively warning housekeepers and gardeners not to dump on their lot. The owners took to throwing twigs from their lot onto the street, which annoyed everyone. Today, their lot is slightly neater and they are the laughing stock of the neighborhood, even among the housekeepers, who consider them to be "rok-jit." Moral of the story? You can be within your rights but out of your mind.

[expatmakmak]

I fail to see how this problem is specific to Chiang Mai. It sounds like the OP has more of a cultural issue that a Chiang Mai issue. Immerse yourself a little more in Thai culture, rather than building a bloody 4 sided concrete wall around yourself to keep it out! Move to General forum dee-gwar. You will get more replies.

[Mestizo]

As for exciting, I'm in living in the Kansas City area, about 25 miles from Lawrence Kansas (the University of Kansas), where I'll be tonight to celebrate our 4th national championship.

Yeah, um.. I think your plans to battle your neighbors over leaves are going to work out about as well as your plan to celebrate a national championship...

Maybe you should consider a move to rural Kentucky? No neighbors and an actual national championship to celebrate! Sounds like a win-win scenario for you.

-Mestizo

[weary]

I see from your original post that you already sense what the response will be if you keep up the hostile stance.

I would explore how I would act if my neighbour was myself, and then explore why I came up with that line of action, and not something else.

It will be alright in the end - if it is not alright, it is not the end.

[PlanetX]

As for exciting, I'm in living in the Kansas City area, about 25 miles from Lawrence Kansas (the University of Kansas), where I'll be tonight to celebrate our 4th national championship.

Yeah, um.. I think your plans to battle your neighbors over leaves are going to work out about as well as your plan to celebrate a national championship...

Maybe you should consider a move to rural Kentucky? No neighbors and an actual national championship to celebrate! Sounds like a win-win scenario for you.

-Mestizo

But you better do it soon, because in 3 years kentucky will get the championship taken away because their coach is a cheat

[CPT]

You are waiting for your wall to collapse onto your neighbor's property rather than repairing/replacing it yet complain about his leaves dropping on your lawn? Those in glass houses...

I would suggest taking a step back and considering just how big of a problem the leaves are in the grand scheme of things and whether it really warrants scheming and acrimony. It might be that you are angry or frustrated about something unrelated and allowing this to drive you to what appears to most as something a bit irrational.

[Beetlejuice]

Firstly I would suggest that our dean1953 loses his Westerner aggression and the sod you, I don`t give a toss approach, which is the general attitudes of many farangs that are plonking themselves in Thailand.

If you are aware that the collapse of this said wall is imminent, than you simply need to rectify the situation now before this happens, taking into consideration that a collapsing wall can cause property damage and most importantly injury or death to persons. The wall in question has to be secured and made safe without encroaching any structures or supports onto the neighbour`s land.

As for the leaves problem, you should politely ask your neighbour if he could kindly trim or cut down the trees involved or offer to do the job yourself or pay someone else to do it.

The present attitude and actions of our dean1953 will not gain him popularity in Thailand and will only serve to cause him more problems in the foreseeable future. Remember that you can only live there as long as local residents, who many are related, are well-established members of the community and have resided there for most of their lives, tolerate you. Gain they’re wrath and they can transform your lifestyle in that area into a living hell.

Get realistic fella, or move into a secluded apartment with no garden and no disturbances from neighbors or anyone else in the outside world.

The solution to keeping neighbors friendly is to be friendly and accommodating yourself.

[ataloss]

Replace the fence with proper footings sized to the type of soil it sits in.

Now would be a good time.

Obviously the current fence was done improperly. If the wall collapses onto your neighbors property you could be in a world of litigation: 'animals' and 'pets' crushed, 'people injured who just happened to be near it when it fell', and so on - fabricated or not, you would be challenged to prove otherwise as the costs mount.