Advice On Being Ripped Off By The Wife And Family

[knowsaboutthailand]

I recently married my Thai wife only to discover my step son is not doing too well and is in need of his second round of chemotherapy. I have also been informed that it is for me to pay for. Now i'm not being funny but isn't this the start of the family milking the cow? I feel for the kid but if i start dishing out money i fear it will never end. Hopefully if i make a stand now they will realise i'm not an ATM. I had been looking forward to starting my own family but this has put a real downer on things, and theres no way i can go on a lads holiday to Ibiza with this hanging over us. His hair has only started to thin so i think time is on my side. The question is do i pay or do i be a man and say no emotional blackmail?

[Slaps]

Pay up!

Good. Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day – accept this information as a gift on my daughter's wedding day.

.

Edited April 24, 2012 by Slaps

[Sibbo]

I think you seriously need to look at your self. When you start getting involved with a Thai woman you start to gain different responsibilities than of those with your previously western girlfriends. I am fairly sure that had you been in a relationship with this woman for some time, you would have known of the lads situation and any health issues. Or is it just a case of being blinded by a younger beauty and at the time your brain was in another part of your clothing?

My Thai gf has NEVER asked me for money for any of her family and some of them are pretty poor. Occasionally I will help out, but I am not asked too. Her mother will do my laundry and also feed me. Again, no money is ever asked for. But being the nice guy that I am, I do help out with buying groceries etc.

My thoughts to you are this......did you offer a dowry to your wifes parents ? If not, then stop being a selfish tight wad and contribute to the lads treatment. But before you do, make sure his illness is genuine and check if there is any family medical insurance.

Cancer can be aggressive, so take care.

[pipo1000]

Maybe the OP married only for the sex.

[Madivad]

I think you seriously need to look at your self.

I have to concur on this. Let's change the picture a bit. What if your new wife was not Thai? What if she was from your home country? You are married and have a responsibility to your step-son. If you "put your foot down" and refused to help your farang partner, I'm sure you wouldn't be married for much longer. Do you think that little of Thais that you have to treat her differently?

My Thai gf has NEVER asked me for money for any of her family and some of them are pretty poor. Occasionally I will help out, but I am not asked too. Her mother will do my laundry and also feed me. Again, no money is ever asked for. But being the nice guy that I am, I do help out with buying groceries etc.

Sounds like you married my wife's sister! With the exception of the washing (either my wife or I do it), you have described exactly our situation. To boot, when we do stay with her family, all of the sisters move into a smaller room and we have the larger room. I have tried to change this, but they won't have a bar of it.

[knowsaboutthailand]

I think you seriously need to look at your self. When you start getting involved with a Thai woman you start to gain different responsibilities than of those with your previously western girlfriends. I am fairly sure that had you been in a relationship with this woman for some time, you would have known of the lads situation and any health issues. Or is it just a case of being blinded by a younger beauty and at the time your brain was in another part of your clothing?

My Thai gf has NEVER asked me for money for any of her family and some of them are pretty poor. Occasionally I will help out, but I am not asked too. Her mother will do my laundry and also feed me. Again, no money is ever asked for. But being the nice guy that I am, I do help out with buying groceries etc.

My thoughts to you are this......did you offer a dowry to your wifes parents ? If not, then stop being a selfish tight wad and contribute to the lads treatment. But before you do, make sure his illness is genuine and check if there is any family medical insurance.

Cancer can be aggressive, so take care.

She told me that they don't have medical insurance. I think this may be my own doing as i did build them a family a house (1.5 million THB). So this may have got them thinking "what else could we get out of him?". About a month ago they wanted me to pay for ramp access for the Grandmother to which i said no to as i've seen her walking up the steps. She does have a wheel chair so maybe they do have medical insurance and are trying to maximise on a bad situation? Maybe theyre putting immac in his shampoo as she always insists i leave my wash kit in the shower but put theirs away. I always thought they where trying to go through mine before they use theit own. I'm taking him Jungle treking in a few days so i'll be able to try and get some info out of him without his Mum about (but his english isnt the best). I suppose its a good oppotunity to monitor his energy levels. I thought this sort of thing was covered in the sin sot?

[knowsaboutthailand]

Maybe the OP married only for the sex.

What an OP? If i had married her for sex i'm not getting any now, believe me the only ride i get is on my Harley. You dont know me or what i've given up for her. I sold my condo in Pattaya and now it looks like Ibiza won't happen. Plus shes had gold thats seemed to have vanished. I have to give her brother taxi money to go to work every day too. Her Dad sems to be the only one who is normal and enjoys a drink ( although this is so he can harp on about exchanging my bike for a pick up truck). They dont seem to be able to see anything from a western point of view.

[CWMcMurray]

If the kid is really sick, you either need to step up or walk away completely

This is not a Thai or not Thai issue... In any country, if you chose to marry some one with a kid already, you have a responsibility to raise that kid the same as you would your own

My father remarried to a woman with 2 kids... If one of my step brothers got sick, I can not imagine my father telling my step mother... Sorry not paying for medical care of your kids, looks like you are going to have to let your kid die.

Also if you reverse it... If either me or my sister or I had gotten sick, I can not imagine my step mother telling my father... Sorry not paying for medical care of your kids, looks like you are going to have to let your kid die.

If you can not do that, it is fine, but you should realize this about your self and never get involved with a woman who already has a child.

Edited April 24, 2012 by CWMcMurray

[KeyserSoze01]

I'm speechless. The OP is a real piece of work. Either a troll or someone I would not want to associate with, much less provide advice.

[knowsaboutthailand]

I'm speechless. The OP is a real piece of work. Either a troll or someone I would not want to associate with, much less provide advice.

I don't think thats really in the spirit of the community friend?

[knowsaboutthailand]

If the kid is really sick, you either need to step up or walk away completely

This is not a Thai or not Thai issue... In any country, if you chose to marry some one with a kid already, you have a responsibility to raise that kid the same as you would your own

My father remarried to a woman with 2 kids... If one of my step brothers got sick, I can not imagine my father telling my step mother... Sorry not paying for medical care of your kids, looks like you are going to have to let your kid die.

Also if you reverse it... If either me or my sister or I had gotten sick, I can not imagine my step mother telling my father... Sorry not paying for medical care of your kids, looks like you are going to have to let your kid die.

If you can not do that, it is fine, but you should realize this about your self and never get involved with a woman who already has a child.

I agree but it seems like all the girls in Pattaya have kids and its hard to get a grasp on whats really going on until you move up north. I cant really leave as they're in my house and its sometimes good to have them around to deal with the little things that i'm too busy to deal with myself. i guess its a catch 22.

[rizla]

I think you seriously need to look at your self. When you start getting involved with a Thai woman you start to gain different responsibilities than of those with your previously western girlfriends. I am fairly sure that had you been in a relationship with this woman for some time, you would have known of the lads situation and any health issues. Or is it just a case of being blinded by a younger beauty and at the time your brain was in another part of your clothing?

My Thai gf has NEVER asked me for money for any of her family and some of them are pretty poor. Occasionally I will help out, but I am not asked too. Her mother will do my laundry and also feed me. Again, no money is ever asked for. But being the nice guy that I am, I do help out with buying groceries etc.

My thoughts to you are this......did you offer a dowry to your wifes parents ? If not, then stop being a selfish tight wad and contribute to the lads treatment. But before you do, make sure his illness is genuine and check if there is any family medical insurance.

Cancer can be aggressive, so take care.

She told me that they don't have medical insurance. I think this may be my own doing as i did build them a family a house (1.5 million THB). So this may have got them thinking "what else could we get out of him?". About a month ago they wanted me to pay for ramp access for the Grandmother to which i said no to as i've seen her walking up the steps. She does have a wheel chair so maybe they do have medical insurance and are trying to maximise on a bad situation? Maybe theyre putting immac in his shampoo as she always insists i leave my wash kit in the shower but put theirs away. I always thought they where trying to go through mine before they use theit own. I'm taking him Jungle treking in a few days so i'll be able to try and get some info out of him without his Mum about (but his english isnt the best). I suppose its a good oppotunity to monitor his energy levels. I thought this sort of thing was covered in the sin sot?

Mmm, you built them a house..? why, did you feel sorry for them? did they live on the streets before you got there?

Sin Sot, you didn`t let them keep that too..it`s only for show you know..then returned.

Good luck to the lad, but i think you said you married his mum?

Where is his Father, he should be doing the helping...i think if true what you are saying, that i hope you have a god that will help you..you`ll need him

P.S do a moonlight flit, fill your truck with what you can(hopefully if you have one it`s in your name), take comfort in the fact that you provided to your chosen charity...but the money is gone..and start over with someone who wants you for you and not your money...

I mean would you build your inlaws a house in the west if you married their daughter ?

Would she build your parents a house in the west if she went there and married you ?

Edited April 24, 2012 by rizla

[knowsaboutthailand]

I think you seriously need to look at your self. When you start getting involved with a Thai woman you start to gain different responsibilities than of those with your previously western girlfriends. I am fairly sure that had you been in a relationship with this woman for some time, you would have known of the lads situation and any health issues. Or is it just a case of being blinded by a younger beauty and at the time your brain was in another part of your clothing?

My Thai gf has NEVER asked me for money for any of her family and some of them are pretty poor. Occasionally I will help out, but I am not asked too. Her mother will do my laundry and also feed me. Again, no money is ever asked for. But being the nice guy that I am, I do help out with buying groceries etc.

My thoughts to you are this......did you offer a dowry to your wifes parents ? If not, then stop being a selfish tight wad and contribute to the lads treatment. But before you do, make sure his illness is genuine and check if there is any family medical insurance.

Cancer can be aggressive, so take care.

She told me that they don't have medical insurance. I think this may be my own doing as i did build them a family a house (1.5 million THB). So this may have got them thinking "what else could we get out of him?". About a month ago they wanted me to pay for ramp access for the Grandmother to which i said no to as i've seen her walking up the steps. She does have a wheel chair so maybe they do have medical insurance and are trying to maximise on a bad situation? Maybe theyre putting immac in his shampoo as she always insists i leave my wash kit in the shower but put theirs away. I always thought they where trying to go through mine before they use theit own. I'm taking him Jungle treking in a few days so i'll be able to try and get some info out of him without his Mum about (but his english isnt the best). I suppose its a good oppotunity to monitor his energy levels. I thought this sort of thing was covered in the sin sot?

Mmm, you built them a house..? why, did you feel sorry for them? did they live on the streets before you got there?

Sin Sot, you didn`t let them keep that too..it`s only for show you know..then returned.

Good luck to the lad, but i think you said you married his mum?

Where is his Father, he should be doing the helping...i think if true what you are saying, that i hope you have a god that will help you..you`ll need him

They gave back some so we could buy the land from her parents. They keep some back incase as my wife says "i change lady". The house is a compromise. I built it for them as my Wife wanted to leave Pattaya. Financially its my house. In reality its their house. Going off thread a bit.

[endure]

[rizla]

I think you seriously need to look at your self. When you start getting involved with a Thai woman you start to gain different responsibilities than of those with your previously western girlfriends. I am fairly sure that had you been in a relationship with this woman for some time, you would have known of the lads situation and any health issues. Or is it just a case of being blinded by a younger beauty and at the time your brain was in another part of your clothing?

My Thai gf has NEVER asked me for money for any of her family and some of them are pretty poor. Occasionally I will help out, but I am not asked too. Her mother will do my laundry and also feed me. Again, no money is ever asked for. But being the nice guy that I am, I do help out with buying groceries etc.

My thoughts to you are this......did you offer a dowry to your wifes parents ? If not, then stop being a selfish tight wad and contribute to the lads treatment. But before you do, make sure his illness is genuine and check if there is any family medical insurance.

Cancer can be aggressive, so take care.

She told me that they don't have medical insurance. I think this may be my own doing as i did build them a family a house (1.5 million THB). So this may have got them thinking "what else could we get out of him?". About a month ago they wanted me to pay for ramp access for the Grandmother to which i said no to as i've seen her walking up the steps. She does have a wheel chair so maybe they do have medical insurance and are trying to maximise on a bad situation? Maybe theyre putting immac in his shampoo as she always insists i leave my wash kit in the shower but put theirs away. I always thought they where trying to go through mine before they use theit own. I'm taking him Jungle treking in a few days so i'll be able to try and get some info out of him without his Mum about (but his english isnt the best). I suppose its a good oppotunity to monitor his energy levels. I thought this sort of thing was covered in the sin sot?

Mmm, you built them a house..? why, did you feel sorry for them? did they live on the streets before you got there?

Sin Sot, you didn`t let them keep that too..it`s only for show you know..then returned.

Good luck to the lad, but i think you said you married his mum?

Where is his Father, he should be doing the helping...i think if true what you are saying, that i hope you have a god that will help you..you`ll need him

They gave back some so we could buy the land from her parents. They keep some back incase as my wife says "i change lady". The house is a compromise. I built it for them as my Wife wanted to leave Pattaya. Financially its my house. In reality its their house. Going off thread a bit.

Sorry mate it`s too late for you.....or this is a wind up...another one bites the dust. I`m off to read posts that i can learn from....good luck.

[brit1984]

The OP is either making troll-posts about cancer, or refusing to help save a child's life... either way, not cool or funny

[Boo]

op is posting from europe. troll topic. closed