State Of Play In Your Relationship.

[theblether]

My head is buzzing at the constant battles in connection with relationships between Westerners and Thais. Everybody seems to have a level of certitude in their own opinion and they are constantly trying to project ( nay, ram down other people's throats ) what that opinion may be.

Okay, up to you. Where I'm from we are taught to never interfere in someone else's marriage, and interfering in a relationship very often has unintended consequences. Yes I am quite prepared to believe some of the horror stories that are knocking about, but I don't need to go to Thailand to hear about relationship horror stories.

I've tried to cover most eventualities in the poll. The first two questions are not multiple choice, the third one is, as it deals with two issues. As the vast majority of the membership is not Thai I have slanted the questions towards the non Thai members. Apologies to our Thai members I don't have enough questions available to include you as a separate category.

There is no need for a separate category for our gay or female members, I believe all options listed are sufficient for everyone. If you have been in a long term live in relationship with an unmarried partner, and that has come to an end, choose the separated option.

I have no idea what the results of this poll are going to be, I have a hope that there are far more successful relationships out there than some people would expect. I have a hunch that a lot of members who are in long term successful relationships here in Thailand read the battle zone threads in amazement then move on, without participating.

Maybe that's just me, maybe I'm a big romantic with my head in the clouds. I would like to see your opinion though, I just don't believe, as someone said today on another thread, that 95% of Thai / Westerner marriages are destined to end in the divorce courts.

So here goes!!........I'm going to grab a beer and watch the results flow in . I know what the romantic me is hoping for

But I fear the worst .................let's go!!!!!

[smokie36]

Well that takes care of the normal people. Let the scrapping begin.

[brit1984]

Excellent idea for a thread!...

[wana]

there should be an option in the first categorie ,i am seeing a handful of women but unsure if any of them will go the distance

[smokie36]

there should be an option in the first categorie ,i am seeing a handful of women but unsure if any of them will go the distance

I am handy with a needle an thread if ya ever need my services. Just send a PM. Cheap rates.

[SimonD]

Quote: "I have a hunch that a lot of members who are in long term successful relationships here in Thailand read the battle zone threads in amazement then move on, without participating." End quote.

Yup, that'll be me then, apart from this one-off observation:

The majority of future contributors to this thread will likely only be trolls and BS'itters. A topic like this is open season to some members. As Guesthouse has previously recommended (and I agree) the general forum is no fit place to discuss ones real personal relationship.

Just my opinion.

[smokie36]

This one has been civil so far Simon. Never give up hope!

[notmyself]

I'm single (the option was there) and get an error.

[smokie36]

no...

[edwinclapham]

"I have a hunch that a lot of members who are in long term successful relationships here in Thailand read the battle zone threads in amazement then move on, without participating."

Correct!

[daoyai]

The poll needs some fixes, example, I voted, optton 2, meaning no partner.... so all the following questions do not apply. When I tried to vote, got a message that I need to vote in each section..... poll failed. Also how about, an option for "lost all hope, out of the game" (?) .

[David48]

Good idea and better then most (including myself) could have concocted BUT ...

No LadyBoy option, TiT after all ... (some stories are hard to live down ... memorable though)

One serious additional question ... "How honest were you in answering the Questions above?"

This one has been civil so far Simon. Never give up hope!

Patiently I am waiting for PayBoy to comment ...

OH ... I was voter #29

[JAFO]

Interesting well thought out poll.

I have always been interested in how long people dated before marriage. Scarily most appear to marry extremely fast and this seems to correlate with the posts made by guys who's marriage went upside down and they lost everything. Over my years if I had to toss out an average it seems most marry within a year after meeting and that is after they just finished exiting another.

I dunno...I would think guys would want some free time. However co dependency is a strong vice to break.

[geriatrickid]

Madness Video

You sir, are a man of of excellent taste in music.

In respect to the thread, It is unfortunate it could not be constructed to show the age difference in respect to the support%. (I know it can't be done without making it confusing, so not a criticism.)

My gut feeling is that the old + young relationships are distinguished by one partner being significantly dependant upon the other.

Anyway, bottom line is that if it works for some and they are happy, bless them.

[edwinclapham]

Interesting well thought out poll.

I have always been interested in how long people dated before marriage. Scarily most appear to marry extremely fast and this seems to correlate with the posts made by guys who's marriage went upside down and they lost everything. Over my years if I had to toss out an average it seems most marry within a year after meeting and that is after they just finished exiting another.

I dunno...I would think guys would want some free time. However co dependency is a strong vice to break.

I found it extremely hard to manage a long distance relationship UK - Australia (albeit my wife is a Thai) but we dated for approx. 2 years before decidiing to marry. My father is great friends with her family in Issan so whilst nothing is cast in stone I knew her history and from whence she came.

[kerryk]

"I have a hunch that a lot of members who are in long term successful relationships here in Thailand read the battle zone threads in amazement then move on, without participating."

Correct!

That is like writing a response in a thread about not writing a response.

[kerryk]

Good idea and better then most (including myself) could have concocted BUT ...

No LadyBoy option, TiT after all ... (some stories are hard to live down ... memorable though)

One serious additional question ... "How honest were you in answering the Questions above?"

This one has been civil so far Simon. Never give up hope!

Patiently I am waiting for PayBoy to comment ...

OH ... I was voter #29

The Tiffany contest was last night. May take a while. Everyone who was anyone was there.

[edwinclapham]

"I have a hunch that a lot of members who are in long term successful relationships here in Thailand read the battle zone threads in amazement then move on, without participating."

Correct!

That is like writing a response in a thread about not writing a response.

Seeing you are taking the "moderating role" I once again to your extreme knowledge.

Now go and pick on someone your own size!

[maxme]

Good ol' Kerry

"I have a hunch that a lot of members who are in long term successful relationships here in Thailand read the battle zone threads in amazement then move on, without participating."

Correct!

That is like writing a response in a thread about not writing a response.

Seeing you are taking the "moderating role" I once again to your extreme knowledge.

Now go and pick on someone your own size!

Good ol' Kerry...

[David48]

Good idea and better then most (including myself) could have concocted BUT ...

No LadyBoy option, TiT after all ... (some stories are hard to live down ... memorable though)

The Tiffany contest was last night. May take a while. Everyone who was anyone was there.

Well, I suppose that makes me, by definition ... a no-body ...

I was in Thailand this time last year and had I know it was on, would have given thought to going.

There’s a thought for a new thread ... a Thailand Bucket List ... any one know if it's been done in recent years can you PM me rather then post here and detract from theblether’s post?

If not, I might kick it off in a week or two.

[pattayadingo]

Ah, a romantic, Blether.

I used to be and still am deep down but here in Thailand I have learned to curb my romantic notions of flowers, perfume, meals out for 2 because they only seem to have a short term effect. Sadly, the demands for marriage and money seem to work their way to the fore eventually. Refusal, however gently, ends up with one result and then it is time to opt out and try again. Each time the realisation that romance can only last so long erodes the romantic in me.

But it is fun trying

[David48]

OH ... I self-congratulating myself on reaching 1,000 posts and to my knowledge most members wouldn't change seats if I sat next to them in a Bar ...

EDIT:- 1,002 posts at the time of writing

[kerryk]

"I have a hunch that a lot of members who are in long term successful relationships here in Thailand read the battle zone threads in amazement then move on, without participating."

Correct!

That is like writing a response in a thread about not writing a response.

Seeing you are taking the "moderating role" I once again to your extreme knowledge.

Now go and pick on someone your own size!

Since there have been only 58 votes and 400 views perhaps you are correct? Are you?

[JurgenG]

On a taxi ride from the airport I was talking with the driver, trying to explain him (in Thai) that I was married and living in Hong Kong but my wife was Thai and I was going to our house. He was a bit confused, honestly my Thai is not that good. But suddenly he got it, I thought, and replied me with a big smile "so you have a wife in Hong Kong and mia noi in Bangkok". That was my turn to be confused and couldn't find anything else to reply but " kind of, just it's the same person".

So how do I answer your poll ?

[wana]

what about the people who may have :

a wife on paper

a gf closeby

a gik or two who visit sometimes

and random one night stands here and there ......

dont forget ,this is a survey about thailand

[David48]

I wonder how IanForbes, with his interesting relationship tree, would have replied?

[phuturatica]

I answered this poll but I doubt my vote would be of any importance as I am female and the post seems to be directed more towards the men. However I am pretty outnumbered.

I actually get some kind of sick amusement from reading the battle zone threads. It actually gives me an insight on to how stupid some guys are or how much shit they're prepared to take. Hell, it's definitely a lot more than what I would handle!

[kerryk]

I wonder how IanForbes, with his interesting relationship tree, would have replied?

Just need to put some "s's" on the choices. Ian was probably the silent majority here.

[villagefarang]

Interesting well thought out poll.

I have always been interested in how long people dated before marriage. Scarily most appear to marry extremely fast and this seems to correlate with the posts made by guys who's marriage went upside down and they lost everything. Over my years if I had to toss out an average it seems most marry within a year after meeting and that is after they just finished exiting another.

I dunno...I would think guys would want some free time. However co dependency is a strong vice to break.

Marrying into a culture and language that one knows nothing about hardly seems like a recipe for success considering failure rates in general. I guess a lot of people are just desperately lonely and a bad relationship is better than no relationship at all.

We lived together for nearly two years before getting married and have now been married for nearly thirteen years. Living in Thailand for 20+ years before getting married meant I have never been dependent on her to help me maneuver through Thai culture. That said she is my best friend and companion. No one I would rather spend time with.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I'm afraid many of the choices apply to me that may seem mutually exclusive to most, and none of them describe my situation accurately.

The most obvious simplification is the use of singular in the title.

What about questions like:

"With how many partners are you currently involved?"

"What is the average number of partners you have been involved with at any given time over your time in Thailand?"

"What is the average length of time a SO has lived with you, counting only those that have stayed more than a month?"

"What percentage of these relationships would you save have ended amicably, where you would still speak well of each other?"

"What percentage of these ex-SOs have remained in contact with you after the relationship ended?"