How Much Have You Had To Unlearn About Thailand?

[HardenedSoul]

Before I came here, I spent some time checking out resources on the web including the TV forum.

There were a great many subjects upon which there seemed to be broad agreement which, after 4 years of living in BKK, I've had to unlearn because the reality was nothing like that depicted by said consensus.

My experiences here have proven the old chestnuts like:

1. "Expect to be treated like a walking ATM"

2. "Thai girls think Thai men are no good"

3. "Thais are racist"

to be seriously flawed.

I realise that some forum members still set a great deal of store by these tired maxims but I have seen more progressive, rounded attitudes emerge on this forum over the last year or so and, with that in mind, I wanted to know what these people have had to UNlearn about LOS.

[daoyai]

I remember reading that black was worn only at funerals.... not so.

[TommoPhysicist]

1. They will if you let them, but that's true all over the world.

2. Thai girls will attempt to convince you they think Thai men are no good, but you would have to be a NooB to believe it.

3. Absolutely true for the vast majority (but not in the way western people think).

Edited May 26, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[osten]

Refreshing to hear this, as I agree with you. I think it depends on where one spends one's time and the company one keeps. If, for example, one never sets foot outside the expat areas and expat bars, then one would be forgiven for thinking these things. But with broader experience comes the proving of many maxims to be false...thankfully.

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[skybluestu]

From my own personal experience I only agree with number 1 from the 3 things you have had to unlearn and even then only to a certain extent as many Thais do believe all farang are rich.

Most of my Thai female friends/colleagues have often admitted they think Thai guys are, overall, not that nice. They say it is normal for Thai guys to have affairs while in a relationship and to go out drinking most nights and domestic violence is fairly common too.

Of course Thais are racist! They are obsessed with skin colour, all Thai models and superstars are light-skinned regardless of whether they are actually beautiful or not. People are still employed here based on colour of skin, how is that not racist? Kids are often bullied if they have dark skin, not racist?

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[Ulysses G.]

I used to buy all the BS that all Thais are out to rip you off that you hear when you first get here. I made so many mistakes assuming the worst that I now assume the opposite and am usually right. Lots of Thais are honest and genuinely trying to help.

[tinfoilhat]

From my own personal experience I only agree with number 1 from the 3 things you have had to unlearn and even then only to a certain extent as many Thais do believe all farang are rich.

Most of my Thai female friends/colleagues have often admitted they think Thai guys are, overall, not that nice. They say it is normal for Thai guys to have affairs while in a relationship and to go out drinking most nights and domestic violence is fairly common too.

Of course Thais are racist! They are obsessed with skin colour, all Thai models and superstars are light-skinned regardless of whether they are actually beautiful or not. People are still employed here based on colour of skin, how is that not racist? Kids are often bullied if they have dark skin, not racist?

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seems you have trouble differentiating between race and skin colour.

[eek]

When i first set off, i read that the appropriate dress sense for women was to be VERY conservative. Long skirts, capped sleeves, not much skin showing etc. I packed nothing that could be deemed in any way shape or form as sexy. LOL, the shock i got when i arrived.

[edwinclapham]

When i first set off, i read that the appropriate dress sense for women was to be VERY conservative. Long skirts, capped sleeves, not much skin showing etc. I packed nothing that could be deemed in any way shape or form as sexy. LOL, the shock i got when i arrived.

Please dont destroy the image I have long had of you Eek!

[aneliane]

1/ You read too many BG's threads

2/ Also BG classic line; What else can you say to justify your sudden openness of mind with 100 words vocab ?

3/ I'm not going down that lane here ever again

[skybluestu]

From my own personal experience I only agree with number 1 from the 3 things you have had to unlearn and even then only to a certain extent as many Thais do believe all farang are rich.

Most of my Thai female friends/colleagues have often admitted they think Thai guys are, overall, not that nice. They say it is normal for Thai guys to have affairs while in a relationship and to go out drinking most nights and domestic violence is fairly common too.

Of course Thais are racist! They are obsessed with skin colour, all Thai models and superstars are light-skinned regardless of whether they are actually beautiful or not. People are still employed here based on colour of skin, how is that not racist? Kids are often bullied if they have dark skin, not racist?

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seems you have trouble differentiating between race and skin colour.

Shadism. Sub-racism.

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[7by7]

A flame/troll post and responses to it have been deleted.

[Semper]

When i first set off, i read that the appropriate dress sense for women was to be VERY conservative. Long skirts, capped sleeves, not much skin showing etc. I packed nothing that could be deemed in any way shape or form as sexy. LOL, the shock i got when i arrived.

So you have a new wardrobe now?

[endure]

There are three books that everyone should read before visiting Thailand:

"Culture Shock Thailand"

"Thailand Fever"

"Mai Pen Rai Means Never Mind"

If you're gay "Letters to Uncle Go" might be worth a read too.

[HardenedSoul]

Most of my Thai female friends/colleagues have often admitted they think Thai guys are, overall, not that nice. They say it is normal for Thai guys to have affairs while in a relationship and to go out drinking most nights and domestic violence is fairly common too.

Of course Thais are racist! They are obsessed with skin colour, all Thai models and superstars are light-skinned regardless of whether they are actually beautiful or not. People are still employed here based on colour of skin, how is that not racist? Kids are often bullied if they have dark skin, not racist?

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Well most of your friends/colleagues are lying to you. Perhaps to make you feel better about something because, guess what, most Thai women end up with - wait for it - Thai men. Period

Their obsession with fair-skin has little to do with racism and almost everything to do with their idea of what is beautiful. I dunno about you but I've certainly seen dark-skinned Thais in high-ranking government and private sector posts.

Sorry but you should open your mind a little more

[theblether]

Most of my Thai female friends/colleagues have often admitted they think Thai guys are, overall, not that nice. They say it is normal for Thai guys to have affairs while in a relationship and to go out drinking most nights and domestic violence is fairly common too.

Of course Thais are racist! They are obsessed with skin colour, all Thai models and superstars are light-skinned regardless of whether they are actually beautiful or not. People are still employed here based on colour of skin, how is that not racist? Kids are often bullied if they have dark skin, not racist?

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Well most of your friends/colleagues are lying to you. Perhaps to make you feel better about something because, guess what, most Thai women end up with - wait for it - Thai men. Period

Their obsession with fair-skin has little to do with racism and almost everything to do with their idea of what is beautiful. I dunno about you but I've certainly seen dark-skinned Thais in high-ranking government and private sector posts.

Sorry but you should open your mind a little more

I would have thought it was obvious that most Thai women end up with Thai men.

[poanoi]

I thought i would need to be able to speak Thai.

I thought people would be polite and honest.

I didn't have a clue about Thailand when i bought the one way ticket, except for thai boxing.

[theblether]

Most of my Thai female friends/colleagues have often admitted they think Thai guys are, overall, not that nice. They say it is normal for Thai guys to have affairs while in a relationship and to go out drinking most nights and domestic violence is fairly common too.

Of course Thais are racist! They are obsessed with skin colour, all Thai models and superstars are light-skinned regardless of whether they are actually beautiful or not. People are still employed here based on colour of skin, how is that not racist? Kids are often bullied if they have dark skin, not racist?

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Well most of your friends/colleagues are lying to you. Perhaps to make you feel better about something because, guess what, most Thai women end up with - wait for it - Thai men. Period

Their obsession with fair-skin has little to do with racism and almost everything to do with their idea of what is beautiful. I dunno about you but I've certainly seen dark-skinned Thais in high-ranking government and private sector posts.

Sorry but you should open your mind a little more

Anyway, I think your OP is great, and I think from reading ( and learning / enjoying ) many of your previous posts, your experience of Thailand is a direct reflection of the kind of man you are, which is a self reliant, self respecting man.

A lot of other people that show up on the shores of Thailand don't have the secure personality traits you have. Therefore yes, you had to unlearn what the weaker people taught you before you arrived.

It just goes to show that for all of us we need to try before we buy, and our experiences to a large extent will reflect our own personalities and standards.

[7by7]

Their obsession with fair-skin has little to do with racism and almost everything to do with their idea of what is beautiful. I dunno about you but I've certainly seen dark-skinned Thais in high-ranking government and private sector posts.

It is much like the attitude in Europe up until the early/mid 20th century.

Light skin means that you are well off and/or professional and spend your days indoors out of the sun.

Dark skin means that you are poor and have to work in the fields or similar.

It seems to me that in many Thai films the hero and heroine have very light skins, but the villains (and fools and other comic relief) are dark skinned!

I am still fascinated by Thai girls riding pillion side saddle holding their handbag up to keep the sun off their face, often with shopping in the other hand!

We live in the UK, and my wife often admires the white skin of our female English friends; while they all say they want her beautiful golden brown skin colour!

[BigJohnnyBKK]

The urban not-poor Thailand is a completely different universe from the rural poor.

And the relatively untouched rural society (fast shrinking to nothing for younger generations) is completely separate again from the Thais working the front lines of the various get-rich-quick-from-foreigners industries.

For the latter #1 is very often true, and many of them have been brought into the business by the fact that they are single mothers, so #2 isn't always a complete lie/sob story, but of course they'll overgeneralize for the same reason that they love older overweight bald guys.

By western PC standards #3 is definitely true for I would say nearly all sectors of Thai society, but they have their own defined categories and assumed pre-judgements for each that don't necessarily match up with ours, and of course skin color vs nationality vs ethnic background are overlapping and inconsistent categorizations whose fine points are lost on most.

Finally, not that the more educated and western-experienced Thais will know which parts of their belief systems are considered offensive and idiotic, e.g. supernatural beliefs as well as racism, and have learned to not be open about them, even if you are close to them, if you show that you ridicule such things they may well keep them hidden from you forever.

But really, how many Thais do you think truly don't believe in ghosts / spirits / demons / sayasart etc? Very small percentage, if a Thais says it's all rubbish then easy enough to test - but of course not without offending them.

Edited May 26, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[cooked]

I thought i would need to be able to speak Thai.

I thought people would be polite and honest.

I didn't have a clue about Thailand when i bought the one way ticket, except for thai boxing.

reading replies to many (most) topics on the forum lead you to think that there is no life outside of Bangkok/Pattaya. No slight intended to this poster, who ignores the fact that outside of Bangkok very few people speak Thai including teachers and government officers. Same goes for cost of living threads, women threads, you name it - doesn't fit in with my experiences in Isaan at all. I can't wait to get back there, meaning leaving Bangkok as quickly as possible.

[GuestHouse]

The BS that I've unlearned is the 'mythology' of Thai culture that Thais were able to foist upon me in the period between me learning the language and seeing the truth of Thai culture for myself.

[kerryk]

I think there are a lot more people posting here who do not live in Thailand currently. Economic problems. It is easy to see by looking at the topics they have started asking for information or the topics they have answered.

It is a more PC crowd that like posting on INTERNET forums but don't have the ability to actually leave home.

[canuckamuck]

I agree with Guesthouse. But if you guys came here expecting your generalizations were 100% accurate, then I guess you had adjustments to make. most likely you now have new generalizations that you use to navigate the kingdom.

For example I use my past experiences to know how to best approach and manage projects using Thai builders. I would not use the same approach with Canadian workers. But I have a set of generalizations that act as guidelines.

[PattayaParent]

I unlearnt that

Thailand is the Land of Smiles

Thais are really polite

Thais are very friendly

[geriatrickid]

I originally thought that Thai science labs would be up to date and have equipment that one finds in the typical lab.

I also thought that one would receive an honest and professional response from the local police if one was appropriately dressed and behaved accordingly.

Boy, was I wrong. Corruption is far more woven into the fabric of daily life than I ever expected. Corruption is a way of life for everyone in Thailand whether they want to participate or not.

[Banzai99]

I unlearnt that

Thailand is the Land of Smiles

Thais are really polite

Thais are very friendly

With 9000 + posts, I'm surprised you have any time to meet anyone other than a bunch of disgruntled cynics who may, or more liklely, may not live in Thailand.

I have been her full time for over 21 years, I find Thai people friendly , polite and very easy with a smile..

Are you polite, friendly and willing to smile, or are you like most Farangs, miserable?

[Hostile17]

every thai women i have met more than once that was not sleeping with farang men have had their former or current thai bf/husband cheating on therm/abandoning them.

Massage ladies/clerks/friends of friends etc etc.

In my country? All my life i have only heard of one person getting cheated on or abandoned.

Let's remove that one from the list please.

[skybluestu]

Most of my Thai female friends/colleagues have often admitted they think Thai guys are, overall, not that nice. They say it is normal for Thai guys to have affairs while in a relationship and to go out drinking most nights and domestic violence is fairly common too.

Of course Thais are racist! They are obsessed with skin colour, all Thai models and superstars are light-skinned regardless of whether they are actually beautiful or not. People are still employed here based on colour of skin, how is that not racist? Kids are often bullied if they have dark skin, not racist?

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Well most of your friends/colleagues are lying to you. Perhaps to make you feel better about something because, guess what, most Thai women end up with - wait for it - Thai men. Period

Their obsession with fair-skin has little to do with racism and almost everything to do with their idea of what is beautiful. I dunno about you but I've certainly seen dark-skinned Thais in high-ranking government and private sector posts.

Sorry but you should open your mind a little more

We've been here for a similar amount of time, what makes your opinion more 'right' than mine? I was replying to your initial post with my opinion based on what I've seen, heard and experienced myself, I don't need to open my mind any more. My time hasn't been spent in BKK, it has been up North so maybe that is why we have a different opinion or maybe it is you who needs to open your mind, your eyes too!

So every Thai girl/woman that told me Thai men are mai dee lied did they? For what purpose? That is their opinion based on what they have seen and experienced and comes from a wide range of females including successful businesswomen, university students, university professors & school teachers, single, married, divorced, unemployed, straight, Tom etc And of course most Thai women end up with Thai men as the vast majority of the male population are, guess what, Thai! I'm sure if I lived in Spain I would have a Spanish partner, if I lived in Japan I'd have a Japanese partner. Many (not all) of my Thai male friends/colleagues who have a steady girlfriend or wife have giks or a mia noi and those that don't wouldn't think twice about having a one-night-stand, sure this happens in every country but nothing like as much as here, it is pretty much condoned here and accepted as normal.

I know fair-skin is considered as beautiful here but that doesn't mean it is OK to employ someone based on the shade of their skin rather than their education, skills or ability. It doesn't mean it is OK for kids to bully their classmates who have dark skin. It doesn't mean a grandmother should say her beautiul 2yr old grandaughter isn't beautiful because she has dark skin, I've witnessed that twice in just the last few weeks in different families. Yes, there are some Thais who have dark skin that are in prominent positions but that doesn't mean that Thai sociey isn't racist because it is and, again, it is accepted as normal. There are very few countries where such blatant racism in everyday life and in places like schools, universities and a place of work would go unquestioned or unpunished.

[Headgame]

There is a very good rule of life that has served me well both here in TH and in every corner of the world that I've either lived or visited for any length of time - don't base your opinions on what people tell you but on how they behave. You'll quickly separate fact from fiction.

Corollary: Like all myths, there is always some basis in fact.