Farangs That Have A Lower Standing As Dogs / Do They Deserver It?

[BookMan]

Sounds like something close to your heart eek

Sent from my HTC One X using Thaivisa Connect App

[TommoPhysicist]

@RS

Your last post has inspired me to change my sig!

[kerryk]

@RS

Your last post has inspired me to change my sig!

Or maybe you should completely ignore a person who accuses you of sleeping with flea bitten dogs in the gutter. Richard did write, "You may choose to lie with dogs, wake up bitten by fleas and pass all judgment based on this experience. However, by periodically thinking beyond the gutter and outside of your 'box of experience' you might enhance your insight beyond the levels of general disappointment…." I think this kind of insult is beyond the pale of what a normal forum should tolerate. But hey who am I.

[TommoPhysicist]

@Kerry

You can't expect too much from someone who considers politicians and lawyers as the moral guardians of Thai society.

[Bangkokhatter]

Farang's That Have A Lower Standing As Dogs / Do They Deserver It?

I've personally never experienced it, I also don't know any Western friends who are in relationships with Thai ladies and have a relationship consisting of anything other than mutual respect. This also extends through to the families.

We've either been very careful or lucky. Perhaps this is because none of us have dated or married ladies who are not well educated, are financially independent or from a more promiscuous walk of life (i.e. actively hunting a westerner).

We have not been a financial or security choice, we have simply been a choice of the heart as have our better halves.

I draw attention to this not to show off (there is nothing to show off about), but to identify that when approached normally as we would in the west, a relationship has a far higher chance of success and simply being 'normal' without any major dramas, surprises or ship wrecks.. Thats not to say it doesn't happen, but the chances of a ship wreck are reduced with normalcy.

I don't believe you, hang on, I might believe this is what you think, but that would make you hopelessly naive, and I do know lots of guys with their heads in the sand, being fooled by their 'nearest and dearest' aka 'suckers'.

Oh, and these sorts of guys always make the same claims, our girls are our age, were never hookers, are educated, have good jobs, etc.

You are a truly sad individual.

[phl]

Rob, your post is like opening a Pandora box.

For so many who may be were not lucky back home, or were not succesful enough to meet someone of their taste, in Thailand they find that warm feeling.

Too many of us here will never admit to being lonely or something along the lines, but being humans, i think we all crave companionship.

The only problem i see, too many guys loose the sense of reality and start to believe in what they want to see.

Yes many will be with a man double the age because of the wallet and those men need to realize that(though many fail)

No, nice looking woman does not fall in love with a man double her age, who does not speak her language and really have nothing in common at all.

I have been lucky enough to meet some guys who offered their theory and rationality which made perfect sense and i think those are very happy.

Here is goes.

As getting older, back in the West without a family, things get tough. help is expansive, retirement homes are expansive and depressing, and the older one gets the harder it gets.

In Thailand, (referring to his situation), he found a girl he liked who made him feel good, in the bar of course, he took her out from the bar and now are in so called "relationship"

He is under no illusions why she is with him, he has set a monthly wage for her, wage which is healthy enough for her to stay around, yet cheap enough for him(compared to costs back home)

He is happy with the arrangement, as he is fed, looked after, driven around(when needed) and has someone sweet to comfort him at night when he wants it

He is well aware that there is no love, and it is just business, but also understands that for the price he is paying, he could never ever have same kind of care back home.

Anyhow, i am in my mid 30's been here for over 10-11 years(lost the count)-lol, and still not married, not because i do not want, but because i have not met the one yet who i trust enough to get close to.

[KeyserSoze01]

This thread is thick with irony and anecdotal experiences passed off as fact.

Everyone's "facts" vary based on their life experience. I do find it interesting the RS has not experienced and has never heard of anyone who has experienced the ranking of a farang in the pecking order of the Thai family dynamic. Perhaps he is lucky, or possibly blind.

"Oh what a tangled web we weave, when we first practice to deceive." Even if you are deceiving yourself.

[robblok]

Rob, your post is like opening a Pandora box.

For so many who may be were not lucky back home, or were not succesful enough to meet someone of their taste, in Thailand they find that warm feeling.

Too many of us here will never admit to being lonely or something along the lines, but being humans, i think we all crave companionship.

The only problem i see, too many guys loose the sense of reality and start to believe in what they want to see.

Yes many will be with a man double the age because of the wallet and those men need to realize that(though many fail)

No, nice looking woman does not fall in love with a man double her age, who does not speak her language and really have nothing in common at all.

I have been lucky enough to meet some guys who offered their theory and rationality which made perfect sense and i think those are very happy.

Here is goes.

As getting older, back in the West without a family, things get tough. help is expansive, retirement homes are expansive and depressing, and the older one gets the harder it gets.

In Thailand, (referring to his situation), he found a girl he liked who made him feel good, in the bar of course, he took her out from the bar and now are in so called "relationship"

He is under no illusions why she is with him, he has set a monthly wage for her, wage which is healthy enough for her to stay around, yet cheap enough for him(compared to costs back home)

He is happy with the arrangement, as he is fed, looked after, driven around(when needed) and has someone sweet to comfort him at night when he wants it

He is well aware that there is no love, and it is just business, but also understands that for the price he is paying, he could never ever have same kind of care back home.

Anyhow, i am in my mid 30's been here for over 10-11 years(lost the count)-lol, and still not married, not because i do not want, but because i have not met the one yet who i trust enough to get close to.

Thing is when 2 people know what they are getting into there is no problem at all. Problem is when you forget what is real that its the money that keeps her not her love for you.

Anyway i only got to this post because of the constant ...... in the family you rank lower as the dog. I personally would not accept that, and have not. Its quite normal to have a healthy relation where you are nr 1. That is if you keep to a few points, making sure you are attractive to her on other grounds as money. Looks, humor, character whatever. Making sure she is independent financially.

That isn't usually the case with a girl 5x as beautiful and half your age. It could happen but more often it does not.

Many guys love to delude themselves, that is ok with me but those kind of relations are often the ones that go wrong. Other ones too as i was sure my first wife was not a bar girl, not that bad to start with too but came in contact in Holland with the wrong crowd. Plus im now sure she saw me as a stepping stone up. Because i don't believe that someone can change that much.

[TommoPhysicist]

Plus im now sure she saw me as a stepping stone up. Because i don't believe that someone can change that much.

You are mistaken, women in particular can change completely, menopause can do it in a couple of months.

[David006]

Thailand is one of many cnuntries where women, beautiful women, will fall over themselves to be with a guy that can give them a step up in life.

Don't be kidded that it's all that in that regard. The point is, it's nothing to do with the country, nothing to do with the woman, it's all to do with you as an individual.

You have to value yourself highly, you have to be able to say no, in fact, no way. Robblok is totally right about maintaining control, ie with the drip drip drip of mortgage payments.

Do not lose control of your self worth, self esteem, and personal financial strength. Always remember one thing about Thailand, and Kerryk just pointed it out, there's no need to take crap from Thai women, even their daughters have no compunction in abandoning them.

There is ( can be ) a stunning level of emotional casual brutality in Thailand.....the way Thais think is the antithesis of our Judeo-Christian Western culture. I mean seriously, the daughter abandoned her mother to go with Kerryk? And the thing is none of us doubt it happened.

It can be Man Heaven, it can be Man Hell, which one it turns out to be depends entirely upon you. Do not lose control of yourself and you'll be fine.

Is it the oldest line on TV? Don't park your brain at the airport? So true, so true.

actually I think most males in Thailand inevitably succumb to those wonderful alluring smiles...still quickens the old pulse when some sweet, pretty, innocent looking girl smiles at me and the brain turns to mush......think it is a bit like alcohol.. you know you may well suffer later but.... ......certainly a very rare occurrence in the west ... Gotta love it here.......

[473geo]

Farang's That Have A Lower Standing As Dogs / Do They Deserver It?

I've personally never experienced it, I also don't know any Western friends who are in relationships with Thai ladies and have a relationship consisting of anything other than mutual respect. This also extends through to the families.

We've either been very careful or lucky. Perhaps this is because none of us have dated or married ladies who are not well educated, are financially independent or from a more promiscuous walk of life (i.e. actively hunting a westerner).

We have not been a financial or security choice, we have simply been a choice of the heart as have our better halves.

I draw attention to this not to show off (there is nothing to show off about), but to identify that when approached normally as we would in the west, a relationship has a far higher chance of success and simply being 'normal' without any major dramas, surprises or ship wrecks.. Thats not to say it doesn't happen, but the chances of a ship wreck are reduced with normalcy.

I don't believe you, hang on, I might believe this is what you think, but that would make you hopelessly naive, and I do know lots of guys with their heads in the sand, being fooled by their 'nearest and dearest' aka 'suckers'.

Oh, and these sorts of guys always make the same claims, our girls are our age, were never hookers, are educated, have good jobs, etc.

Your cynicism is noted, your logic unsound, your opinion fundamentally flawed.

You are implying that by being in happy and normal relationship I might be naïve, have my head buried in the sand and be blinded by lust. That friends and I are on the cusp of being treated worse than dogs, that our relationships are on the brink of imminent collapse and that we blindly go forth towards catastrophe.

It is incredible how you suppose to know me better than I do !

I very much doubt that Daughters of Politicians, Lawyers, Chula Professors, Thammarsat Masters graduates etc… were ever hookers. I also very much doubt that many people could consider those who date or marry such ladies be considered suckers. I do however doubt that you could believe that westerners can end up with normal people because that appears to fall so far outside of your range of mongering experience.

You may choose to lie with dogs, wake up bitten by fleas and pass all judgment based on this experience. However, by periodically thinking beyond the gutter and outside of your ‘box of experience’ you might enhance your insight beyond the levels of general disappointment….

I hope it does not happen, but your attitude at times does come across as somebody riding for a fall.........the it won't happen to me I'm not in the same situation brigade.......well like it or not....you are married...I assume to a Thai woman.....as are the majority of those who you seek to pidgeon hole because their marriage failed

[Ciaran Mc]

Farang's That Have A Lower Standing As Dogs / Do They Deserver It?

I've personally never experienced it, I also don't know any Western friends who are in relationships with Thai ladies and have a relationship consisting of anything other than mutual respect. This also extends through to the families.

We've either been very careful or lucky. Perhaps this is because none of us have dated or married ladies who are not well educated, are financially independent or from a more promiscuous walk of life (i.e. actively hunting a westerner).

We have not been a financial or security choice, we have simply been a choice of the heart as have our better halves.

I draw attention to this not to show off (there is nothing to show off about), but to identify that when approached normally as we would in the west, a relationship has a far higher chance of success and simply being 'normal' without any major dramas, surprises or ship wrecks.. Thats not to say it doesn't happen, but the chances of a ship wreck are reduced with normalcy.

I don't believe you, hang on, I might believe this is what you think, but that would make you hopelessly naive, and I do know lots of guys with their heads in the sand, being fooled by their 'nearest and dearest' aka 'suckers'.

Oh, and these sorts of guys always make the same claims, our girls are our age, were never hookers, are educated, have good jobs, etc.

Your cynicism is noted, your logic unsound, your opinion fundamentally flawed.

You are implying that by being in happy and normal relationship I might be naïve, have my head buried in the sand and be blinded by lust. That friends and I are on the cusp of being treated worse than dogs, that our relationships are on the brink of imminent collapse and that we blindly go forth towards catastrophe.

It is incredible how you suppose to know me better than I do !

I very much doubt that Daughters of Politicians, Lawyers, Chula Professors, Thammarsat Masters graduates etc… were ever hookers. I also very much doubt that many people could consider those who date or marry such ladies be considered suckers. I do however doubt that you could believe that westerners can end up with normal people because that appears to fall so far outside of your range of mongering experience.

You may choose to lie with dogs, wake up bitten by fleas and pass all judgment based on this experience. However, by periodically thinking beyond the gutter and outside of your ‘box of experience’ you might enhance your insight beyond the levels of general disappointment….

ur first post was fine ... but this one comes across all wrong !!

[richard_smith237]

Fair enough…

I could have articulated the post with a little less ‘look at me’…

The basis of what I attempted to write is that there are so many relationships in Thailand that are normal. I, and most of the Westerners I’m friends with in Thailand are in these ‘normal’ relationships.

By claiming that I am happy, that I feel very normal and comfortable with my wife and her family, as she does with mine doesn’t or shouldn’t identify I’m naïve or in for a fall. It simply identifies that someone who sees that in my comments has taken a big hit themselves and can only see imminent disaster in someone else’s relationships… somehow as if its only a matter of time… We’ll I can’t argue against that as I can’t prove the future and they may well be correct.

But, in our normal relationship that is not the case at the moment and I can’t really foresee that in the future – but who knows? Certainly not the guys who’ve seen things fall apart, its impossible for them to draw parallels to someone else’s relationship based on their experience.

[richard_smith237]

It is incredible how you suppose to know me better than I do !

I very much doubt that Daughters of Politicians, Lawyers, Chula Professors, Thammarsat Masters graduates etc… were ever hookers. I also very much doubt that many people could consider those who date or marry such ladies be considered suckers. I do however doubt that you could believe that westerners can end up with normal people because that appears to fall so far outside of your range of mongering experience.

I don't know you, but I know your sort.

And they all think that no Daughters of Politicians, Lawyers, Chula Professors, Thammarsat Masters graduates etc… won't cheat them or sleep with men for money. They are wrong, not all will but enough will.

My Sort? The sort who are heading for a fall? Or the sort you simply disagree with and need some phrase such as 'your sort' in attempt to put me down?

I'm intrigued, 'Enough will' ??? I can't imagine why an independently wealthy lady would choose to sleep with someone for money... But I suspect you mean that there are some women out there to look the part, but in truth are playing the game... then fair enough I'd agree.

With regards to the lying, anyone is capable of that, a Thai lady or western man, I take as much risk here as I would in the UK.

PS

As for the 'monger' insult, I've only had sex with one woman in Thailand, and that is my wife (can you say the same?).

I apologise - I can't attest to the same: In 15 years in Thailand I've dated a few ladies before I met my Wife.

PPS

A person that thinks Thai Politicians and Lawyers (or their daughters) don't lie, steal or cheat ........ 555, that has to be a first.

Agreed - but I never wrote otherwise.

[473geo]

Fair enough…

I could have articulated the post with a little less ‘look at me’…

The basis of what I attempted to write is that there are so many relationships in Thailand that are normal. I, and most of the Westerners I’m friends with in Thailand are in these ‘normal’ relationships.

By claiming that I am happy, that I feel very normal and comfortable with my wife and her family, as she does with mine doesn’t or shouldn’t identify I’m naïve or in for a fall. It simply identifies that someone who sees that in my comments has taken a big hit themselves and can only see imminent disaster in someone else’s relationships… somehow as if its only a matter of time… We’ll I can’t argue against that as I can’t prove the future and they may well be correct.

But, in our normal relationship that is not the case at the moment and I can’t really foresee that in the future – but who knows? Certainly not the guys who’ve seen things fall apart, its impossible for them to draw parallels to someone else’s relationship based on their experience.

We can all be happy and many are, why do you assume an alternative view to your own means others see imminent disaster, I don't see "imminent disaster" rather conceit. I will always continue to work hard at my marriage, to keep it alive and strong, and no way will I sit back and tell myself and others my marriage will be fine because I made a 'better' choice than some other guy. But by all means you carry on....

[NanLaew]

...

PS

As for the 'monger' insult, I've only had sex with one woman in Thailand, and that is my wife (can you say the same?).

...

Tommo... the hand! Don't forget about your hand!!

[pigeonjake]

hi all, yes im married to a beautiful thai lady, and ill say 20years younger then me, i still come to england to work for 3 or 4 moths a year,just to get the extra money, we have a sucesful pig farm in thailand, earning about 1k a month, now my wife dosnt need me, that pig farm would keep my wife and her family very happy, we have a baby due in sept, dont just sit there thinking every relationship is going to fail in thailand, weve got no intention of moving to england, my wife and her mum take care of our farm while im away and we pay her mum 10% of what we make a month, so she earns the money from us,

all im trying to say is some people in thailand are very very happy with there lot, i know i am, ive had 7 year of true happyness with my beautiful wife, and nothing anyone will say here will stop me from being happy,

and as for bar girls, yes ive been down that road i think we all have, but there not all bad too,

just think of them ugly but rich footballers,, have you seen there wifes, do they buy them?????????????

[Rsquared]

Sorry just deleted my own post......still not fully recovered from drinking and gambling at the temple last night.

Edited June 16, 2012 by Rsquared