How Evil Is It To Do A Runner?

[payak]

have sex with her one more time first, then go.

get one in why you can, record it if you can, you may need it to either blackmail her later,or wanking material when your single

[tinfoilhat]

Yes it might seem "cowardly" to some all into the macho "be a man" bullshit, I just see it as practical, go for it.

I admire your leaving some money for her, believe me if you think 100K is a little she won't many unskilled Thais live on that for a full year.

I also don't see it as your showing guilt for being a bad man, just being kind to someone who's given you three years of her life.

No problems at all with the ethics side there either.

She's a big girl, she'll get over it if you make a clean break - make sure she understands there's no chance of your coming back.

And don't go somewhere she can find you, maybe a holiday to Cambodia for a few weeks and then settle in a completely different area, don't hang out in the same bars etc - beware if she knows where you work.

Good luck!

sounds like a coward hiding from a woman to me

[KeyserSoze01]

Only cowards do runners.

After being in a relationship for 3 years, she deserves it to be told to her face.

Why? What exactly is that going to accomplish? It's not like we're going to go out for a nice dinner together, express our feelings, and come to an amicable conclusion. At the end of the conversation, I'm not going to be hearing, "ok honey, I understand, thanks for the being so honest, and I hope we can remain friends". That just ain't gonna fuc_ken happen. I'd be lucky to walk away from the dinner table without a knife in my neck.

If this was Canada, sure, that's easily possible. My first marriage was quite ugly at the end, but after it all, we still remain friends, stay at each other's places when we're in the same city, and so on. Sure there's ill feelings between us, but we're both mature adults, and can put that aside while we enjoy each other's company. That just ain't gonna happen in this situation.

And it's not like I'm going to hand out my new phone number and address. I may not have been in Thailand as long as some of you, but have been here long enough to know that'd be a really stupid idea. If I break, it's for good, with no looking back, and no second guessing myself.

But you’re not a mature adult.

A mature person would try and discuss any problems you are having regarding this relationship with your partner and if you consider that the message is not getting through, than you lay it on the line rather than leaving your partner high and dry wondering <deleted> is happening? And if the feelings of you and your partner are mutual, than you have nothing to lose by facing up to the situation together. Maybe this is what you fear, that your partner won`t give a rat`s behind if you stay or go and this will hurt your manly pride.

Perhaps these people are just simple folk and just take life as it comes. You must have realised that fact when you first decided to get involved with this person and the family, so what actually did you expect to gain from this relationship? Did you believe that your partner was going to tune in to your mode of thought and fall conveniently into your standards over night?

If running away without any consideration for the feelings of your partner, than you are acting like a big kid who has not been able to get his own way and remember, what goes around, comes around. You may escape your partner, but you’re never escape from yourself.

Are you sure you live in Thailand? The reason I ask is that one of two things is evident. The fact is that you either don't live in Thailand -or- you have never crossed paths with a bunny boiler like the rest of us. One thing I never want to see again is a Thai woman with that look in her eyes. The look like she is possessed by a demon and is hell-bent on doing me mortal harm. I'm with the OP. If he fears for his well being if being open and honest with his GF, then hit the road Jack and dontcha come back no more.

[KeyserSoze01]

Yes it might seem "cowardly" to some all into the macho "be a man" bullshit, I just see it as practical, go for it.

I admire your leaving some money for her, believe me if you think 100K is a little she won't many unskilled Thais live on that for a full year.

I also don't see it as your showing guilt for being a bad man, just being kind to someone who's given you three years of her life.

No problems at all with the ethics side there either.

She's a big girl, she'll get over it if you make a clean break - make sure she understands there's no chance of your coming back.

And don't go somewhere she can find you, maybe a holiday to Cambodia for a few weeks and then settle in a completely different area, don't hang out in the same bars etc - beware if she knows where you work.

Good luck!

sounds like a coward hiding from a woman to me

What would you do if a Thai woman attacked you with a weapon? Let her slice you up or would you punch her out? Either way you lose, so why put yourself in that position? Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor.

[TommoPhysicist]

sounds like a coward hiding from a woman to me

Sounds like you were never the one that ended a relationship to me.

[h90]

How evil: I would say evil grade 7.3

[steelepulse]

If you're worried about her and her family pissing away all the money, send her 6K/month for a few months so she'll learn how to budget and also look for work to support herself and her family. BTW, where is all of this drama taking place? BKK, Pattaya, Phuket, or some up country nakon nowhere province? She and her family don't work?

[tinfoilhat]

sounds like a coward hiding from a woman to me

Sounds like you were never the one that ended a relationship to me.

i have inhabited the same house for 12 of the 16 years i have been here. sorry, but leaving my home and my career is not an option.

but then again it seems it all comes down to the type of woman you choose to let under your roof.

oddly i have never been afraid of any of my exes, but then i have always been drawn to women with their own lives and careers, and have never taken on a charity to put it kindly.

Edited June 12, 2012 by tinfoilhat

[tinfoilhat]

Yes it might seem "cowardly" to some all into the macho "be a man" bullshit, I just see it as practical, go for it.

I admire your leaving some money for her, believe me if you think 100K is a little she won't many unskilled Thais live on that for a full year.

I also don't see it as your showing guilt for being a bad man, just being kind to someone who's given you three years of her life.

No problems at all with the ethics side there either.

She's a big girl, she'll get over it if you make a clean break - make sure she understands there's no chance of your coming back.

And don't go somewhere she can find you, maybe a holiday to Cambodia for a few weeks and then settle in a completely different area, don't hang out in the same bars etc - beware if she knows where you work.

Good luck!

sounds like a coward hiding from a woman to me

What would you do if a Thai woman attacked you with a weapon? Let her slice you up or would you punch her out? Either way you lose, so why put yourself in that position? Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor.

discretion is the better part of valor. Especially when exercised before you chose to move her in.

[TommoPhysicist]

but then again it seems it all comes down to the type of woman you choose to let under your roof.

You sleep with poor homeless women, I sleep with a woman who owns a house.

[tinfoilhat]

but then again it seems it all comes down to the type of woman you choose to let under your roof.

You sleep with poor homeless women, I sleep with a woman who owns a house.

bully for you mate. you obviously have it all sorted. If not, you can always run away. That must be empowering.

[Johnniey]

Just leave a note (in Thai) explaining my rationale, with a sizable chunk of money in it to feel good knowing I left them in a position where if they wanted, they could easily get themselves setup with a decent life.

You say there are no kids, yet you say they, them and themselves(plural). Who have you had a relationship with?

Not an asshol_e maybe just a coward.

Grow some balls and tell her to her face.

[Johnniey]

What would you do if a Thai woman attacked you with a weapon? Let her slice you up or would you punch her out? Either way you lose, so why put yourself in that position? Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor.

What do you mean - either way you lose?

You punch out or do whatever is necessary to defend yourself and you win.

[TommoPhysicist]

What would you do if a Thai woman attacked you with a weapon? Let her slice you up or would you punch her out? Either way you lose, so why put yourself in that position? Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor.

What do you mean - either way you lose?

You punch out or do whatever is necessary to defend yourself and you win.

Then they call the police and have you arrested and jailed (and in Thailand deported).

Ever tried the 'she hit me first' defense either in court or with a policeman who wants to 'teach you a lesson'?

Have I got this right, the 'cowardly to run away brigade' think it's OK to hit women?

Edited June 12, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[Soutpeel]

If you're worried about her and her family pissing away all the money, send her 6K/month for a few months so she'll learn how to budget and also look for work to support herself and her family.

No way...if the OP wishes to make "divorce" settlement in this case, and he is under no obligation to do so.....one off payment and thats it, if he wishes to sever ties...then sever the ties completely...sending money every month is maintaining ties...which he should not be doing

As we know Thai ladies can turn into bunny boilers very quickly once deprived of a free meal ticket, he needs to make a one off payment and get out of dodge and never have nay contact again, and put it all behind him

Edited June 12, 2012 by Soutpeel

[theblether]

Yes it might seem "cowardly" to some all into the macho "be a man" bullshit, I just see it as practical, go for it.

I admire your leaving some money for her, believe me if you think 100K is a little she won't many unskilled Thais live on that for a full year.

I also don't see it as your showing guilt for being a bad man, just being kind to someone who's given you three years of her life.

No problems at all with the ethics side there either.

She's a big girl, she'll get over it if you make a clean break - make sure she understands there's no chance of your coming back.

And don't go somewhere she can find you, maybe a holiday to Cambodia for a few weeks and then settle in a completely different area, don't hang out in the same bars etc - beware if she knows where you work.

Good luck!

sounds like a coward hiding from a woman to me

Gentleman, Troll Alert, history of trolling and has already had a nasty vindictive post removed by the Mods on this thread.

Don't feed the trolls.

[pattayadingo]

People calling the OP a coward for running away. Others saying the OP should sit down and talk about the problems.

Have you tried doing this with a Thai woman? Oh so often you sit and you talk and they seem to accept what you are trying to get across yet in reality you are talking to a brick wall. Also once again you are up against the family and friends who will often be their guide.

The OP says he has pumped money into various businesses only to see them fail, paid for education and helped out. I commend him for doing his best. In my early years in Thailand I have been there and done that and so often tried to get them to understand the concept of a business and they pay lip service to your comments and ideas. It can be like pouring your money down the drain. Yet you do it to try and enhance their lives by giving them something to do to earn a living instead of leeching off you and lying in bed all day long. Too often they see no real need to work hard when deep down they believe there is no need to work too hard because they have a foreigner and he will keep bailing them out.

Bunny Boilers certainly do exist here. I have seen the results of their madness. One poor guy walking out of the pub and having his stomach sliced open for ending a relationship with a woman. The screaming matches as they suddenly realise they are losing their cash cow. The massive loss of face. The - sometimes - endless phone calls where they are crying down the phone one minute and threatening you with death the next.

So why, if you know deep down, the reaction is likely to be that of a Bunny Boiler, would you stand there and inform them you are going?

Walking away silently is often the best mode of operation in those cases, it is not cowardly. I had to do that once here.

With the others, I have walked away yet still retained their friendship and their phone numbers. But I had a good idea of their reaction to our partings.

Best of to the OP, there is always a future ......

[tinfoilhat]

What would you do if a Thai woman attacked you with a weapon? Let her slice you up or would you punch her out? Either way you lose, so why put yourself in that position? Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor.

What do you mean - either way you lose?

You punch out or do whatever is necessary to defend yourself and you win.

Then they call the police and have you arrested and jailed (and in Thailand deported).

Ever tried the 'she hit me first' defense either in court or with a policeman who wants to 'teach you a lesson'?

Have I got this right, the 'cowardly to run away brigade' think it's OK to hit women?

no you dont have it right. the poster you quoted thinks its ok to hit women

[cdnmatt]

What do you mean - either way you lose?

You punch out or do whatever is necessary to defend yourself and you win.

No you don't, because the next day you have 16 guys who work out slicing you up, or you find yourself in a cell on some trumped up charge, or you have tha mafia come around to strong arm you out of money, or whatever... in my case, I'd probably wake up to find out my dogs have been posioned and killed, if not mutilated.

This isn't the West. You don't get into fights here, because you WILL NOT WIN.

[Johnniey]

What do you mean - either way you lose?

You punch out or do whatever is necessary to defend yourself and you win.

No you don't, because the next day you have 16 guys who work out slicing you up, or you find yourself in a cell on some trumped up charge, or you have tha mafia come around to strong arm you out of money, or whatever... in my case, I'd probably wake up to find out my dogs have been posioned and killed, if not mutilated.

This isn't the West. You don't get into fights here, because you WILL NOT WIN.

How long have you lived in this country?

This sounds like tourist talk.

I've lived here a long time and know my rights and will fight for them.

If a woman attacked me with a knife, of course I'd hit her.

Edited June 12, 2012 by Johnniey

[meom]

Yes it might seem "cowardly" to some all into the macho "be a man" bullshit, I just see it as practical, go for it.

I admire your leaving some money for her, believe me if you think 100K is a little she won't many unskilled Thais live on that for a full year.

I also don't see it as your showing guilt for being a bad man, just being kind to someone who's given you three years of her life.

No problems at all with the ethics side there either.

She's a big girl, she'll get over it if you make a clean break - make sure she understands there's no chance of your coming back.

And don't go somewhere she can find you, maybe a holiday to Cambodia for a few weeks and then settle in a completely different area, don't hang out in the same bars etc - beware if she knows where you work.

Good luck!

sounds like a coward hiding from a woman to me

Gentleman, Troll Alert, history of trolling and has already had a nasty vindictive post removed by the Mods on this thread.

Don't feed the trolls.

did i have one removed? not sure which one, but nevermind.

I just doesnt pay to speak your mind i suppose.

how could it be wrong to be against abandoning somebody who has shared your life for 3 years without so much as a word of goodbye?

where i come from running away from your problems is cowardice.

surprised so many of you see it differently -- though if you ran here to get away from it all in the first place, i suppose i shouldn't be surprised.

As for the troll alert crap, get over yourself, the whole <deleted> post is likely a troll.

+1

Makes you wonder how the walking away brigade solve problems in their own relation.

[Radar501]

Hell hath no fury like a Thai woman scorned!

[DLock]

If you leave too much money, she has resources to come find you...leave less.

If I had to choose between my wife and my dog...my dog would win every time. Try explaining to a dog you won't be back and that cocked head and wagging tail will get you every time.

And if I was going to do a runner, I'd have the car packed and running. I'd tell her through the bathroom door when she was in the shower that I'm going and never coming back, then I'd be in that car driving it like Bo Luke drove that General Lee.

I have to smile at those guys saying they would sit down and talk it out. You think you are talking to a logical, rational and reasonable person who will shed a tear, hug you and say "i understand". Wrong. You are talking to an insane, irrational and completely unreasonable person who will try every emotional blackmail she can, and failing that, cut your liver out given half a chance.

If you know it's over, it's over. The only look back should be in the rear view mirror. Drive on Bo.

[theblether]

Yes it might seem "cowardly" to some all into the macho "be a man" bullshit, I just see it as practical, go for it.

I admire your leaving some money for her, believe me if you think 100K is a little she won't many unskilled Thais live on that for a full year.

I also don't see it as your showing guilt for being a bad man, just being kind to someone who's given you three years of her life.

No problems at all with the ethics side there either.

She's a big girl, she'll get over it if you make a clean break - make sure she understands there's no chance of your coming back.

And don't go somewhere she can find you, maybe a holiday to Cambodia for a few weeks and then settle in a completely different area, don't hang out in the same bars etc - beware if she knows where you work.

Good luck!

sounds like a coward hiding from a woman to me

Gentleman, Troll Alert, history of trolling and has already had a nasty vindictive post removed by the Mods on this thread.

Don't feed the trolls.

did i have one removed? not sure which one, but nevermind.

I just doesnt pay to speak your mind i suppose.

how could it be wrong to be against abandoning somebody who has shared your life for 3 years without so much as a word of goodbye?

where i come from running away from your problems is cowardice.

surprised so many of you see it differently -- though if you ran here to get away from it all in the first place, i suppose i shouldn't be surprised.

As for the troll alert crap, get over yourself, the whole <deleted> post is likely a troll.

Yes you did have a post removed, keep your abuse to yourself, in my opinion your a troll and if my fellow members had read what you had posted this would be a flame fest now.

There are enough people on this forum that know the style of me, to know that I don't call out trolls unless they deserve it.

[meom]

If you leave too much money, she has resources to come find you...leave less.

If I had to choose between my wife and my dog...my dog would win every time. Try explaining to a dog you won't be back and that cocked head and wagging tail will get you every time.

And if I was going to do a runner, I'd have the car packed and running. I'd tell her through the bathroom door when she was in the shower that I'm going and never coming back, then I'd be in that car driving it like Bo Luke drove that General Lee.

I have to smile at those guys saying they would sit down and talk it out. You think you are talking to a logical, rational and reasonable person who will shed a tear, hug you and say "i understand". Wrong. You are talking to an insane, irrational and completely unreasonable person who will try every emotional blackmail she can, and failing that, cut your liver out given half a chance.

If you know it's over, it's over. The only look back should be in the rear view mirror. Drive on Bo.

Bo wouldn’t walk out though.

He would have Daisy up there to kick the biatch’s ass first with Boss wringing his hands in the background.

Once the catfight is over it’s the bitch that’ll run with Roscoe in hot pursuit.

[GreenSnapper]

It's all about female domestic violence, which is tolerated to some degree in Thailand - just watch the soap operas.

The White Knighters here would certainly be all in support of the woman if the opposite happened: a woman makes the runner from a violent man. Of course, she would never leave any money behind.

So the basic question is: how to react to a violent psycho chick?

First rule, of course, is never let a psycho move in with you. Psychos can be great in bed, but they make poor LTR. Men should learn to recognize a psycho, so that they would never fall into the trap.

In the case of the OP, making the runner is certainly a good solution. I'd just not leave any money, especially if she has shown abusive behaviour and/or violence in the past. Getting the furniture and having the rent paid for 2 months (via the deposit) is enough of welfare.

[Rsquared]

Bunny Boilers are real....they remind me of the cartoon character "the Tasmanian Devil"....a whirlwind of gnashing teeth and total destruction.

Ok for you hero's who want to sit down and reason with something like that..good luck.

I totally understand the OP's reasoning and fully support his actions.

We are in a different country with different morales, upbringing...call it what you like.

I live by the KISS syndrome......Keep It Simple Stupid.

Good luck to the OP.

[chops]

Usually in these cases the Thai woman TAKES a big chunk of money(sometimes even has him topped off ) so I wouldn't feel bad about it AT ALL.

[Soutpeel]

What do you mean - either way you lose?

You punch out or do whatever is necessary to defend yourself and you win.

No you don't, because the next day you have 16 guys who work out slicing you up, or you find yourself in a cell on some trumped up charge, or you have tha mafia come around to strong arm you out of money, or whatever... in my case, I'd probably wake up to find out my dogs have been posioned and killed, if not mutilated.

This isn't the West. You don't get into fights here, because you WILL NOT WIN.

How long have you lived in this country?

This sounds like tourist talk.

I've lived here a long time and know my rights and will fight for them.

If a woman attacked me with a knife, of course I'd hit her.

It appears he has lived here long enough to know the reality of what can happen in thailand, and has happened on mutliple occasions...

" I know my rights.....".... ....were do you think you are Toto...Kansas ?

This sounds like tourist talk to me...

In Thailand in cases like this Farang have no rights.....

[arthurwait]

sounds like a coward hiding from a woman to me

Sounds like you were never the one that ended a relationship to me.

i have inhabited the same house for 12 of the 16 years i have been here. sorry, but leaving my home and my career is not an option.

but then again it seems it all comes down to the type of woman you choose to let under your roof.

oddly i have never been afraid of any of my exes, but then i have always been drawn to women with their own lives and careers, and have never taken on a charity to put it kindly.

Like.